So there I am, working industriously on the bound session laws, when I hear a…jingling.
I stop typing.
Yes, it is definitely a jingling–a merry, if slightly nerve-jangling, jingling. I listen for the tiny sound of reindeer hoof-steps…no, that’s not it, and it’s not even October, besides. The jingling is coming closer, growing louder, and I pop […]
I am at my desk by 6:15 most mornings. I like the early part of the day—few people are in the office when I get there, and I can drink my coffee and check a few blogs and start my work serenely. But I will fall on my knees with joy when we gain an […]
I know there is probably no Blogger-Blog Reader privilege, and even if there were you would have to report anything you heard that indicated a crime was about to be committed, but I am going to tell you this anyway:
I am going to kill The Special GYN.
Although—wait, I am not calling her that anymore. She […]
Total Testosterone: 32
Normal! Elevated would be around 50! Secretly, when the nurse tells me this, I am not surprised. As ridiculous as it is, I kept thinking If I have high Testosterone levels, wouldn’t I have been better at Gym?
Then I got the rest of my numbers…
Free! Testosterone: 4.4
(% Free! Testosterone: 1.4)
The reference range for […]
For those of you playing along at home, here is the annotated version of yesterday’s laboratory results:
FSH: 4.5—“Splendid!” says Dr. Google in his deep, authoritative voice, “Anything below 6 is excellent.”
LH: 9.4—Dr. Google shifts uncomfortably in his chair. “As you see here, I prefer an LH below 7. In addition…well, your LH is more than […]
I do not meet with The Special Gyn until Friday, but I couldn’t wait anymore and called the clinic this morning. The nurse I spoke to chirped “Everything looks Normal!” and would have ended the conversation there if I had not asked, though clenched and grinding teeth, for the Actual Numbers, rather than a breezy […]
You know how losing consciousness in a popular retail clothing establishment just before an unexpected meeting with a high school classmate can make you take a long, hard look at your life?
You don’t?
Well, maybe I’d better start from the beginning….
I have bouts of hypoglycemia at the most inconvenient junctures. [The first time I spent the […]
So, I had my consult with The Special GYN yesterday. After it was over, I managed to contain my fury at the uselessness of it all only by telling myself that I could have my real consult with you Internets when I got home—because you’re all licensed medical professionals, right?
First though, a word about the […]
Pro:
Everything Bagels
Iced Coffee, Black
Con:
Busy Quarry that has taken up residence between my temples
According to the man at the bagel shop, “Iced Coffee Season is Over.”
Of course his acute sense of temporal appropriateness did not deter him from wearing a tie (circa 1987) cleverly made to look like a piano, but ah well. Consistency is […]
Hello Internets, I am not doing so well.
A friend wrote to tell me she is unexpectedly pregnant, a friend who has struggled with infertility herself, and though I have tried to write her a congratulatory email in response, all I have managed to do so far is sneak off to the bathroom at work three […]
It began as an auspicious Thursday. I love my job, really, enough that I bolt lunch at my desk most days and work Saturday mornings. So today, as I parked my car, I felt…peaceful. The Pocket Part is practically ready to ship, the governor is due to sign the called session legislation we need for […]
{Part One}
{Part Two}
Part Three:
In November of 2004 you become pregnant.
You have morning sickness and cramps every day of your pregnancy, cannot sleep at night, can only eat plain wheat bread, bananas, and strong ginger ale for most of the day.
But you are calm for possibly the first time in your life. The anti-anxiety medicine you […]
{Part One}
Part Two:
On your second night in at Sarah Mawr you go to bed feeling unwell. When you awake soaked in blood you think for one confused moment that you have been hit by a stray bullet shot from a gun in nearby Yonkers.
Alas, it is only the first period of your college career. Luckily, […]
[As a student at Sarah Mawr, I once had the great misfortune of sitting through a film that consisted entirely of shots of the student filmmaker’s vagina. I found it just slightly less than not at all compelling, and so I will understand if the prospect of reading the history of my uterine failings does […]
