I started making pies when I was seven. Not by myself, of course. Seven-year-olds don’t make pies by themselves. My mother and grandmother divested apples of their peel in sinuous, perfect strips. I was given a spork-like implement, the safety-scissors version of a paring knife, and subtly mocked for my inability to produce perfect spirals […]
Reading Julia’s post about Patrick’s parent-teacher conference (he failed Scissors, poor moppet) and whether to send him to Montessori made me ponder my own early scholastic experiences.
First of all, I would like to say that I, too, failed something. It will come as no surprise to my creditors, my mother, or the smug ATM machine […]
Has anyone else noticed the preponderance of pregnancy-and-miscarriage-related subplots on television lately? Most notably on abc?
Now, I admit that I only watch two shows on that network, but let’s review:
First: Sandra Oh’s character on Grey’s Anatomy falls pregnant–an apt term in this case as said pregnancy occurs approximately 71/2 minutes after she begins sleeping with […]
So…Oprah had her Favorite Things show, and I thought “I have favorite things! I could do that!”
I imagined, fondly, the looks on my dear readers’ faces as I screamed (well, typed) “EVERYBODY GETS A CAR!”–or shower gel, or whatever–and then your doorbells would ring, and standing there would be an grown man dressed as an […]
There have been many lovely Thanksgiving posts about gratitude, etc. in the blogosphere in the past day, but I am bucking the trend. You know how the night before a fast (or lent or whatnot) you do the opposite of what you will be doing the next day? Eat vats and vats of the things […]
The Nearly and I are capable of arguing about all sorts of irrelevant things—whether or not we should have carpet in our (nonexistent) house, whether we should go into debt to pay for our (nonexistent) children’s college education, and what we should tell said nonexistent children about my youthful indiscretions with controlled substances. The one […]
It is a complex and lovely thing, our community. Each cycle some of us will succeed in the struggle to shed the circumstances that bound us together in the first place. And each cycle others of us will not.
This past week I have been alternately filled with giddy joy over the news of my B.H. […]
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I do have real things to talk about, but I would first like to take a […]
On Thursday, day 27 of my cycle, I had some pink spotting. Now, I don’t spot, except for the day before my period, so my initial thought was that for the first time in my life I was about to have a 28-day cycle, the kind you read about in books. {Well, actually, my initial […]
The title of this post has nothing to do with anything, except that after reading an article that kept referring to gestational age and age based on LMP, Naughty By Nature somehow became lodged in my head.
So. Ahem. People have hinted after my last entry that I need something to occupy my time other than […]
The ringer on the phone in my apartment is off. It often is. This is because, when the phone does ring, it is the beginning of one of two possible scenarios:
Scenario One:
PHONE: Brrring, BRringg!
ME: Hello?
TRANSPARENTLY INTOXICATED MALE: S’Billy there?
ME: I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.
PHONE: Dial tone.
Scenario Two:
PHONE: Brrring, BRringg!
ME: Hello?
TRANSPARENTLY INTOXICATED FEMALE: S’Jeanie […]
When I arrived for my tests Tuesday I was informed that in fact it would be a three hour, rather than a two hour, glucose tolerance test. During my substantial time in the waiting room, I watched women and couples come and go, and found myself, a bit ridiculously, I know, jealous of almost all […]
