November 2005

Babies Don’t Make Pie: A Recipe For Adulthood.

November 30, 2005

I started making pies when I was seven. Not by myself, of course. Seven-year-olds don’t make pies by themselves. My mother and grandmother divested apples of their peel in sinuous, perfect strips. I was given a spork-like implement, the safety-scissors version of a paring knife, and subtly mocked for my inability to produce perfect spirals [...]

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Little Knowledge is a Dangerous Thing.

November 30, 2005

Reading Julia’s post about Patrick’s parent-teacher conference (he failed Scissors, poor moppet) and whether to send him to Montessori made me ponder my own early scholastic experiences. First of all, I would like to say that I, too, failed something. It will come as no surprise to my creditors, my mother, or the smug ATM [...]

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What Do This Post and a Submarine Have in Common?

November 28, 2005

Has anyone else noticed the preponderance of pregnancy-and-miscarriage-related subplots on television lately? Most notably on abc? Now, I admit that I only watch two shows on that network, but let’s review: First: Sandra Oh’s character on Grey’s Anatomy falls pregnant–an apt term in this case as said pregnancy occurs approximately 71/2 minutes after she begins [...]

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Cornucopia.

November 25, 2005

So…Oprah had her Favorite Things show, and I thought “I have favorite things! I could do that!” I imagined, fondly, the looks on my dear readers’ faces as I screamed (well, typed) “EVERYBODY GETS A CAR!”–or shower gel, or whatever–and then your doorbells would ring, and standing there would be an grown man dressed as [...]

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Nothing Goes Better With Turkey Than Whine.

November 23, 2005

There have been many lovely Thanksgiving posts about gratitude, etc. in the blogosphere in the past day, but I am bucking the trend. You know how the night before a fast (or lent or whatnot) you do the opposite of what you will be doing the next day? Eat vats and vats of the things [...]

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Go Ask Alexa.

November 20, 2005

The Nearly and I are capable of arguing about all sorts of irrelevant things—whether or not we should have carpet in our (nonexistent) house, whether we should go into debt to pay for our (nonexistent) children’s college education, and what we should tell said nonexistent children about my youthful indiscretions with controlled substances. The one [...]

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Some Ramblings, and A Big List of Questions.

November 17, 2005

It is a complex and lovely thing, our community. Each cycle some of us will succeed in the struggle to shed the circumstances that bound us together in the first place. And each cycle others of us will not. This past week I have been alternately filled with giddy joy over the news of my [...]

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Reading Your Content Just Made My Day, Or: Die, Spambot.

November 14, 2005

“Reading your content just made my day. keep the good work. while they only recover: http://lighth*using.net , Standard Slot is always Lazy Corner most people are even incapable , to Forecast Game you should be very International their senses slowly.” I do have real things to talk about, but I would first like to take [...]

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The Days of Your Life.

November 12, 2005

On Thursday, day 27 of my cycle, I had some pink spotting. Now, I don’t spot, except for the day before my period, so my initial thought was that for the first time in my life I was about to have a 28-day cycle, the kind you read about in books. {Well, actually, my initial [...]

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LMP (yeah you know me).

November 9, 2005

The title of this post has nothing to do with anything, except that after reading an article that kept referring to gestational age and age based on LMP, Naughty By Nature somehow became lodged in my head. So. Ahem. People have hinted after my last entry that I need something to occupy my time other [...]

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Billy and Jeanie Were Lovers…

November 7, 2005

The ringer on the phone in my apartment is off. It often is. This is because, when the phone does ring, it is the beginning of one of two possible scenarios: Scenario One: PHONE: Brrring, BRringg! ME: Hello? TRANSPARENTLY INTOXICATED MALE: S’Billy there? ME: I’m sorry, you have the wrong number. PHONE: Dial tone. Scenario [...]

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In a Nutshell.

November 3, 2005

When I arrived for my tests Tuesday I was informed that in fact it would be a three hour, rather than a two hour, glucose tolerance test. During my substantial time in the waiting room, I watched women and couples come and go, and found myself, a bit ridiculously, I know, jealous of almost all [...]

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