Flotsam

The title of this post has nothing to do with anything, except that after reading an article that kept referring to gestational age and age based on LMP, Naughty By Nature somehow became lodged in my head.
So. Ahem. People have hinted after my last entry that I need something to occupy my time other than playing matchmaker to local drunks (What, Google doesn’t count?).
The night after I posted, Billy’s friend called and left a message on our answering machine:
“Billy! I got yer weights. The free weights and the, uh, the dumbbells. You better pick them up, cause I don’t want nothing to happen to them.”
I spent 20 minutes wondering how I could use this message to lure Billy and Jeanie together—we could trace the call! And then the Nearly could call Billy’s friend, pretending to be Billy, and arrange for a meeting to pick up the weights, and we could somehow get Jeanie’s friend there, and…And I realized that perhaps you all were right, and I need a hobby.

“I think I’m going to start entertaining,” I told the Nearly this evening, setting my magazine down on my lap and happily imagining the dishes and hostess dress and new cd (for atmosphere!) I would have to buy.
“Are you going to dance?” asked the Nearly. “Sing?” I hit him with the magazine.
“No! I’m going to have dinner parties, and people over for cocktails,” I said, “That sort of thing.”
“Who are you going to have over?”
And that was the end of that. Because I do not have many friends, here, anymore. Most evenings find me reading a book or watching NasCat {Our cats racing each other at high speeds around the apartment–like Nascar, only with fur instead of mullets}.
So I’m still working on the hobby. Is wine a hobby?

In other news, I called the clinic yesterday morning, and the receptionist promised Dr. Doctor would call me right back. When the clinic closed and I hadn’t heard from her, I found myself becoming tearful and strident, the way one does in high school when a boy doesn’t telephone—I stomped home from work, muttering that I didn’t need Dr. Doctor anyway, and who did she think she was, not calling? and–sniffle–doesn’t she like me anymore? BUT…this morning, the phone rang, and it was she.

“Hiiiii,” I breathed, “I’m so glad you called!”
“Do you have some time to talk?” she asked.
I nodded vigorously before remembering that I was on the telephone and blurting:
“Yes! Absolutely! Now would be great!”
{Ed. Note: What is wrong with me?}
The gist of our conversation was this:
Although my glucose tolerance tests were normal—i.e. indicated that I do not have diabetes—Dr. Doctor is troubled that my one-hour result soared to 204 and then was slapped smartly back down to 84—almost as low as my fasting level–one hour later. I had called and left a message about this last week, and apparently her research confirmed that this was cause for some small concern. It at least explains my hypoglycemia and the embarrassing incident in a certain dressing room. She would like me to follow an insulin resistance/type II diabetic-y diet.
As for my thyroid, those tests came back unimpeachably normal, even to my jaundiced eye (negative antibodies; T4: 1.27). So it is still looking the most like PCOS, although Dr. Doctor isn’t comfortable diagnosing that definitively because my testosterone is not as high as she would expect. She expressed concern about my wonky LH behavior: two distinct LH surges–accompanied by all the expected signs—each month, neither resulting in ovulation. I mentioned Luteinized Unruptured Follicle Syndrome to her {I found this during my endo research—the ovary gears up for ovulation, but for some reason (tough ovaries, etc.) cannot release the egg, and later in the cycle tries again before giving up in disgrace} and she was intrigued and promised to hop on PubMed and see what there is to see.
In the meantime, I will be stopping progestin birth control at the end of this pack, in a week. That would be day 36 of my cycle, so hopefully I will get my period around then as well. I will then proceed to do nothing at all (although I may start charting again, just to make myself miserable) until my next day one (around Christmas) when I will call to schedule day 3 tests and an ultrasound. Dr. Doctor wants to have the testosterone, 17-OHP, LH, etc. run again at her own lab, as my last day 3 tests were done with the H&IBOML.
The rest of that cycle will be monitored, with frequent wandings and a day 21 progesterone level. Which reminds me—is this always done on day 21, even if one’s cycles are 36-ish days? I know it is supposed to confirm ovulation (or anovulation, in my case) but if I were ovulating (please stop laughing, now), it would probably not be until day 21. Does that matter?

So that is the plan. One cycle of nothingness, one monitored natural cycle, and then who knows?
But that is a whole other post…