Comments on: Reading Your Content Just Made My Day, Or: Die, Spambot.

By: Robyn

Robyn — Sat, 17 Mar 2007 16:32:38 +0000

I had a miscarriage at 20 y.o., had two daughters(6,2) then had a miscarriage on Easter of ’06, and a third one this week. This one is almost unbearable. I keep wondering why this is happeing to me. I worked out and got my body fit, became a healthy eater, and stopped drinking soda. I am a good Christian woman, and I still lost my baby. I feel devastated, worse than I did last time. I think it’s because I really didn’t believe I would have another miscarriage, and now I wonder if I’ll ever have another baby. DO I have to let go of our dream of a big family?

By: April

April — Wed, 16 Nov 2005 20:23:15 +0000

It’s completely normal to hurt like that. And if it isn’t – well then there is something wrong with the rest of the world, because it should be.

You’re in my thoughts.

And the absinthe comment made me snort hot tea through my nose I was laughing so hard.

By: Cass

Cass — Wed, 16 Nov 2005 05:22:11 +0000

Hrm. Just to be clear, I didn’t mean “imaginary” as in unreal, but just that there are all of these magical and important dates that crop up that to other people might not seem significant, but are incredibly resonant to us. So maybe “imaginary” isn’t so much the thing as “deadline” – or something.

By: Cass

Cass — Wed, 16 Nov 2005 05:18:14 +0000

Those imaginary deadlines are killer. And there’s a neverending supply. If it’s not your due date or the anniversary of a miscarriage, it’ll be something else. But god, I hope it gets easier. (And I do the snotty crying thing too.)

By: DD

DD — Tue, 15 Nov 2005 15:02:39 +0000

Oh shit, Alexa, you know how I feel about the Anniversary Date, and I can’t imagine how anyone could feel any different. “Deadlines” come and go, i.e. pg before due date, pg before end of year, pg before loss date, etc., etc., and the weight of the sorrow is almost unbearable. I myself wish I could tell you that yes, being pg again before the anniversary date does fill some of the gaping wounds, but I can’t.

I hope that Nearly appreciates that he is the one you come to when you need a snot-spewing cry because it takes a very special bond to be able to do that and then love them all the more.

By: Nico

Nico — Tue, 15 Nov 2005 04:17:33 +0000

So you do the snot spewing cry too, huh? I feel so bad for M when I get like that. All he wants is to make me feel better, and there’s just nothing he can do.

I have the same sense crushing disappointment that I’m not pregnant by the time when I was so sure I would be – first it was by the time my sister’s baby was born, then it was when my friend who did IVF when we finally got to do our first IUI had her baby – that’s still a few months away, but ha! we’re not doing anything about getting pregnant right now. Just waiting. It sucks donkey balls.

By: Lindsay Wiley

Lindsay Wiley — Tue, 15 Nov 2005 02:53:14 +0000

Alexa, you’ll always be my Baller Honey.

I had a very tough time around the one year anniversary of my miscarriage in September. I was so angry at myself for thinking I’d get pregnant again within a few months of the loss – six months tops is what I was thinking. I still feel a lot of anger and pain over it.

Be good to yourself, B.H.

By: pixi

pixi — Mon, 14 Nov 2005 23:22:17 +0000

I mentioned a similar anniversary to my husband last week, and he didn’t understand why I would “want” to think about it. But I say how can you not? As least as the woman, anyway.

To answer your questions, as a recurrent miscarrier, I would say being pregnant again definitely mitigates the pain of previous losses. At least on some level. But the fear? I’m afraid that sticks with you. Especially, if you’d gotten to a point where you thought things were OK, then got burned. Sorry, if that’s depressing. And finally, yeah, I don’t think the emptiness goes away, until you have a baby in your arms.

None of these responses are helping, are they? Sorry you had such a rough night.