Yesterday I had to leave work because of the pain shimmying from my Lady Parts down my thighs, through my hip joint to my back. All morning people kept saying things like “Wow, you look really…tired,” and “Why are you curled under your desk, keening?” until finally I called it a day at 11:30 and […]
• I began the week in keeping with my long tradition of making an ass of myself. On my way into work yesterday morning, a woman ran up behind me in the parking lot. It was a beautiful morning, and I was striding ahead of a group of people on my way towards the shiny glass […]
So here I am, at my desk, sipping a Fresca and slapping discreetly at the underside of my chin. Why the chin-slapping, you ask? Because I have made a horrifying discovery.
The other night the Nearly and I were chasing one of our cats (Irma) around the apartment, as we do from time to time. As […]
I have been reluctant to post something new for fear of stopping the flow of comments on my last entry. Honestly, you people fascinate me, with your cow-milking and spiny-lobster-catching and sausage-making! Did you know that fisher queen loves to ride a good cow pony? (Ha! I am twelve!) Or that Ornery took the gold […]
We here in the Twin Cities had a blizzard this week. On Monday, I stayed home from work because I couldn’t find my car. Also, I was tired, and all of the schools were closed, and I could hear sirens from the highway, and besides, I hadn’t done any laundry. But mostly it was because […]
Psst!
Today is my fourth day on 500 milligrams of Metformin.
I know! I didn’t tell you! I didn’t tell anyone, because I was fairly certain that I would quit once again, because it was too hard. And then I would have to retire from blogging in shame. And wear ashes and sackcloth—which would probably be more […]
Please visit my dear friend Molly. I do not have sufficient linguistic skills to express my sorrow or my sympathy for her recent loss.
I seem to have lost some weight. Not a lot, mind you—about seven pounds. Still, seven pounds is as much as a Rat Terrier weighs. I have rid myself of an entire small dog’s worth of extra weight. But how, you ask? Where did the Rat Terrier go? Did I Stairmaster it off? Deprive it […]
On Saturday I had breakfast with my toothless, cancerous, manic depressive, math-obsessed father.
As previously noted, I hadn’t seen him in a while. Perhaps it is for this reason that I was rather rusty at the game I play when I do: Manic, Drunk, or Just Dad.
“Manic, Drunk, or Just Dad?” is the question I use […]
I have been busy. Actually, saying I have been busy is a bit like saying that ketchup is a vegetable (thank you, Mr. Reagan) in that it contains a kernel of truth but falls pitifully short of a full explanation. Actually, as tomato is a fruit, I don’t think that analogy holds up particularly well, […]
