Comments on: You Might Want To Skip This One. http://flotsamblog.com/2006/03/06/you-might-want-to-skip-this-one/ Deplorable solipsism? The new face of literature? Or merely a clever procrastination device... Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:35:09 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Katy http://flotsamblog.com/2006/03/06/you-might-want-to-skip-this-one/comment-page-1/#comment-1375 Katy Mon, 03 Apr 2006 12:39:29 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/?p=104#comment-1375 I'm a new reader and wanted to say that this was beautifully written. I used to play the same game with my Dad, wondering if he'd be on or off the booze (and therefore sober or drunk driving), on or off the smoking, mad or glad to see me, overly chatty or absolutely silent and morose.... It's absolutely no fun, is it? Especially when I, like you, was the only one who gave him time anymore. My Dad had mouth cancer, too, and even that didn't stop him abusing his body. It's taken me a while to realise that I don't have to feel guilty at his problems and that I did help him in some small way. I hope you can realise the same. I’m a new reader and wanted to say that this was beautifully written. I used to play the same game with my Dad, wondering if he’d be on or off the booze (and therefore sober or drunk driving), on or off the smoking, mad or glad to see me, overly chatty or absolutely silent and morose…. It’s absolutely no fun, is it? Especially when I, like you, was the only one who gave him time anymore. My Dad had mouth cancer, too, and even that didn’t stop him abusing his body. It’s taken me a while to realise that I don’t have to feel guilty at his problems and that I did help him in some small way. I hope you can realise the same.

]]> By: Thalia http://flotsamblog.com/2006/03/06/you-might-want-to-skip-this-one/comment-page-1/#comment-1073 Thalia Wed, 08 Mar 2006 12:36:53 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/?p=104#comment-1073 I'm mean to my dad and he doesn't give me nearly as much cause as yours. It sounds like you have a very human, and a mostly very humane, approach to this relationship. And it's marvellous that you've persevered with it where others would not/have not. I’m mean to my dad and he doesn’t give me nearly as much cause as yours. It sounds like you have a very human, and a mostly very humane, approach to this relationship. And it’s marvellous that you’ve persevered with it where others would not/have not.

]]> By: TB http://flotsamblog.com/2006/03/06/you-might-want-to-skip-this-one/comment-page-1/#comment-1071 TB Wed, 08 Mar 2006 02:25:12 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/?p=104#comment-1071 Can I just tell you that you are dealing with this remarkably well? A parent with bipolar disorder and comorbidity is one of the most difficult things I can imagine. Dealing with a loved one with bipolar is hard enough, but a parent? Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing the best that you can and more than anyone else in your family has. Take care of yourself first and be gentle. I think you are remarkably well adjusted and aware of how this situation affects you, what you can do to help and what is a waste of time and what is enabling, considering the situation. I'm so sorry. I have sone experience trying to navigate bipolar as it relates to a loved one. If you ever need to vent, please consider me there for you. Can I just tell you that you are dealing with this remarkably well? A parent with bipolar disorder and comorbidity is one of the most difficult things I can imagine.
Dealing with a loved one with bipolar is hard enough, but a parent? Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You are doing the best that you can and more than anyone else in your family has.
Take care of yourself first and be gentle. I think you are remarkably well adjusted and aware of how this situation affects you, what you can do to help and what is a waste of time and what is enabling, considering the situation.
I’m so sorry. I have sone experience trying to navigate bipolar as it relates to a loved one. If you ever need to vent, please consider me there for you.

]]> By: Lut C. http://flotsamblog.com/2006/03/06/you-might-want-to-skip-this-one/comment-page-1/#comment-1070 Lut C. Tue, 07 Mar 2006 23:06:37 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/?p=104#comment-1070 I'm at a loss for words. I can't imagine what you've been through. I’m at a loss for words. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.

]]> By: Manuela http://flotsamblog.com/2006/03/06/you-might-want-to-skip-this-one/comment-page-1/#comment-1069 Manuela Tue, 07 Mar 2006 22:36:32 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/?p=104#comment-1069 omydearlord... Alexa... wow... I'm just in shock at what you have had to endure in your relationship with your father. My heart is absolutely going out to you right now even though that might not be what you want to hear right now... And as I read your words... your reactions to the 'antics' of your poor beleaguered father... so much of your emotion is so incredibly familiar to my own with respect to my 'colourful' mother. After reading this... what comes to mind is something a wonderful therapist kept trying to drill into my brain. Something I heard, but didn't believe for a very long time... and something that I think you will also struggle to absorb although you may hear it in your head... children do not owe their parents. It is a parent's responsibility to make their child feel safe, secure, and cherished. It is not the children's responsibility to take on that role for their parents... It's been a long time since I've seen that basic truth flouted so flagrantly by a parent... and I'm so sad that I'm seeing it in your post today. Thinking of you. omydearlord…

Alexa… wow… I’m just in shock at what you have had to endure in your relationship with your father. My heart is absolutely going out to you right now even though that might not be what you want to hear right now…

And as I read your words… your reactions to the ‘antics’ of your poor beleaguered father… so much of your emotion is so incredibly familiar to my own with respect to my ‘colourful’ mother.

After reading this… what comes to mind is something a wonderful therapist kept trying to drill into my brain. Something I heard, but didn’t believe for a very long time… and something that I think you will also struggle to absorb although you may hear it in your head… children do not owe their parents. It is a parent’s responsibility to make their child feel safe, secure, and cherished. It is not the children’s responsibility to take on that role for their parents…

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that basic truth flouted so flagrantly by a parent… and I’m so sad that I’m seeing it in your post today.

Thinking of you.

]]> By: Jul http://flotsamblog.com/2006/03/06/you-might-want-to-skip-this-one/comment-page-1/#comment-1068 Jul Tue, 07 Mar 2006 22:15:38 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/?p=104#comment-1068 What an amazing entry... gorgeous and heartbreaking and so damned evocative. Reminded me very much of a short story from the "Zoetrope: All-Story" book called, I believe, "Notes For My Biographer" (funny, sad and written from the perspective of a manic-depressive inventor). What an amazing entry… gorgeous and heartbreaking and so damned evocative. Reminded me very much of a short story from the “Zoetrope: All-Story” book called, I believe, “Notes For My Biographer” (funny, sad and written from the perspective of a manic-depressive inventor).

]]> By: joy http://flotsamblog.com/2006/03/06/you-might-want-to-skip-this-one/comment-page-1/#comment-1067 joy Tue, 07 Mar 2006 21:03:27 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/?p=104#comment-1067 this is my first visit, and so they first post of yours i read. your situation sounds just awful, but lord can you write amazingly.... thank you. and i'll be back.. this is my first visit, and so they first post of yours i read. your situation sounds just awful, but lord can you write amazingly….

thank you. and i’ll be back..

]]> By: Ornery http://flotsamblog.com/2006/03/06/you-might-want-to-skip-this-one/comment-page-1/#comment-1065 Ornery Tue, 07 Mar 2006 17:43:42 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/?p=104#comment-1065 The guilt and responsibility you feel is such a heavy burden for anybody to carry, and when you are carrying it alone...it's almost too much to bear. I cannot presume to understand your father or your relationship with him, but I have felt a similar burden many times in the past, and my heart goes out to you. The guilt and responsibility you feel is such a heavy burden for anybody to carry, and when you are carrying it alone…it’s almost too much to bear. I cannot presume to understand your father or your relationship with him, but I have felt a similar burden many times in the past, and my heart goes out to you.

]]> By: T http://flotsamblog.com/2006/03/06/you-might-want-to-skip-this-one/comment-page-1/#comment-1064 T Tue, 07 Mar 2006 14:17:50 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/?p=104#comment-1064 Oh Alexa, the guilt is so tough, no matter how much you try to shed it, it's still there. And comparing to a normal family! Oh my - that's just, well, you just can't do that I'm afraid. I get pretty sad sometimes when I hear about my bf's father and all he does and is for my bf. Acceptance is one thing, constantly living in our own reality is another. I hope you're okay. Oh Alexa, the guilt is so tough, no matter how much you try to shed it, it’s still there. And comparing to a normal family! Oh my – that’s just, well, you just can’t do that I’m afraid. I get pretty sad sometimes when I hear about my bf’s father and all he does and is for my bf. Acceptance is one thing, constantly living in our own reality is another.

I hope you’re okay.

]]> By: JessR http://flotsamblog.com/2006/03/06/you-might-want-to-skip-this-one/comment-page-1/#comment-1063 JessR Tue, 07 Mar 2006 05:50:14 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/?p=104#comment-1063 That was really beautiful, sad, raw, painful, and honest, Alexa. I'm in awe of this post. And I can relate to this one particularly well. That was really beautiful, sad, raw, painful, and honest, Alexa. I’m in awe of this post. And I can relate to this one particularly well.

]]>