The past week or so has been like a comedy of errors. Only without the comedy.
Ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!
The problem with returning after a prolonged posting hiatus is the sheer volume of material to cover. Should I start with the fireplace incident? The case of the missing hippie? The regrettable stylistic […]
I’m going to go back to talking about events occurring ABOVE MY WAIST any minute now, I promise, but first let me tell you about Nurse Asshat, whom I spoke with about my results, and who makes Nurse Deaf-as-a-Goddamned-Post look like a beacon of intelligence and compassion.
So—Thursday morning I had my blood drawn by The […]
4.3
My progesterone at seven days past ovulation.
How bad would it be to have a martini now? At eight o’ clock in the morning. At work.
Bad, right?
I took a year off after high school. Well, I don’t know whether “year off” is the appropriate phrase, as I spent that year waitressing 70 hours a week, but the point is, I was almost twenty by the time I went away to college. At the time, this seemed a positively geriatric age to […]
No, I’m not pregnant.
But…I think I ovulated. For the first time in EIGHTEEN MONTHS.
(It helps if you picture calendar pages rippling off—it’s a long time, isn’t it?)
When I woke up Friday morning, my temperature was up by an entire half degree.
Probably a fluke, I thought to myself, heart drumming with excitement.
But it was still […]
{This post may not make sense if you haven’t read this.}
So, raise your hand if you got the gist of my last several posts, namely that it is rather a stressful time for Alexa.
Everyone?
Good.
Then you should all appreciate the timing of the incident I am about to describe.
Tuesday evening I raced home from work […]
I know this blog has been whiny lately. And I wish I could say that was about to change, starting with THIS VERY ENTRY. But guess what? It’s not. I am thinking of changing the name of this site from “Flotsam” to “Whiny’s Whinings” or “Pule N’ Moan,” or maybe “Complainy McKvetch’s House of Displeasure.” […]
SOME LIFE LESSONS:
• The busy season at work is not a good time to move.
• A month during which you are moving is not a good month to start school.
• The weeks during which you are starting school are probably not the best weeks to be obsessively charting your infertility signs in order to determine the efficacy of […]
I have much to do. And yet I have managed to draw up a daily schedule for the next month that has me completing all of my neccessary tasks:
5:40: Wake up. Take temperature. Stumble to bathroom, have brief Metformin-related skirmish with digestive tract. Ready self for work by pulling hair into tiny rumpled ponytail and […]
