May 2006

The Liar, The Glitch, And The Gauchos.

May 31, 2006

The past week or so has been like a comedy of errors. Only without the comedy. Ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! The problem with returning after a prolonged posting hiatus is the sheer volume of material to cover. Should I start with the fireplace incident? The case of the missing hippie? The [...]

29 comments Read more →

Last Dispatch From The Nether Region.

May 22, 2006

I’m going to go back to talking about events occurring ABOVE MY WAIST any minute now, I promise, but first let me tell you about Nurse Asshat, whom I spoke with about my results, and who makes Nurse Deaf-as-a-Goddamned-Post look like a beacon of intelligence and compassion. So—Thursday morning I had my blood drawn by [...]

19 comments Read more →

The Loneliest Number Since The Number One.

May 19, 2006

4.3 My progesterone at seven days past ovulation. How bad would it be to have a martini now? At eight o’ clock in the morning. At work. Bad, right?

13 comments Read more →

It’s A Different World.

May 17, 2006

I took a year off after high school. Well, I don’t know whether “year off” is the appropriate phrase, as I spent that year waitressing 70 hours a week, but the point is, I was almost twenty by the time I went away to college. At the time, this seemed a positively geriatric age to [...]

11 comments Read more →

The Post I Have Always Dreamed Of Writing…

May 14, 2006

No, I’m not pregnant. But…I think I ovulated. For the first time in EIGHTEEN MONTHS. (It helps if you picture calendar pages rippling off—it’s a long time, isn’t it?) When I woke up Friday morning, my temperature was up by an entire half degree. Probably a fluke, I thought to myself, heart drumming with excitement. [...]

17 comments Read more →

Pretend This Is A Clever Title.

May 11, 2006

{This post may not make sense if you haven’t read this.} So, raise your hand if you got the gist of my last several posts, namely that it is rather a stressful time for Alexa. Everyone? Good. Then you should all appreciate the timing of the incident I am about to describe. Tuesday evening I [...]

13 comments Read more →

The Spring Of My Discontent.

May 9, 2006

I know this blog has been whiny lately. And I wish I could say that was about to change, starting with THIS VERY ENTRY. But guess what? It’s not. I am thinking of changing the name of this site from “Flotsam” to “Whiny’s Whinings” or “Pule N’ Moan,” or maybe “Complainy McKvetch’s House of Displeasure.” [...]

19 comments Read more →

GGGAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.

May 5, 2006

SOME LIFE LESSONS: • The busy season at work is not a good time to move. • A month during which you are moving is not a good month to start school. • The weeks during which you are starting school are probably not the best weeks to be obsessively charting your infertility signs in [...]

17 comments Read more →

Fear And Trembling–And Maybe A Little Sleep Deprivation, Too.

May 2, 2006

I have much to do. And yet I have managed to draw up a daily schedule for the next month that has me completing all of my neccessary tasks: 5:40: Wake up. Take temperature. Stumble to bathroom, have brief Metformin-related skirmish with digestive tract. Ready self for work by pulling hair into tiny rumpled ponytail [...]

12 comments Read more →