They Grow Up So Fast…
Hello!
I never blog whilst intoxicated, but I will make an exception for tonight: it is my Bloggiversary, and Flotsam is one year old. Whoo!
I bought a special bloggiversary wine that tastes not unlike melted butter, and I am living on the edge by typing DIRECTLY INTO MY POST TEMPLATE, rather than writing in Word and then cutting and pasting. Also I had tiramisu. And I am not going to work tomorrow. Though that has more to do with my lameness (As in hurt foot, not lame as in unhip. I am very hip, I assure you). I cannot walk except to shuffle like the undead. (That was a sort of simile.)
Now is probably when you are noticing that in an equation where x=my writing skill and y=wine, 2y=x/2.
Ahem.
So, here we are, one year after my first post.
In the past year I have discovered that I am barren, nearly lost my one true love, gone back to college, moved, and gotten engaged. I have pulled myself out of a murky depression onto what feels like an increasingly defined and well-lit path.
I have virtually met many delightful people, including my Innard Twin, Pru–who has gestated and birthed an entire baby girl in the lifetime of this website. I have met 5 bloggers in person. I have written 130 blog entries and, as an interesting corollary, have completed exactly 0 (zero) pieces of actual publishable writing.
It has been an enormously happy year, and I do not think I would be exaggerating if I said that much of that happiness is directly related to my decision to start this website, 365 days ago.
What I want, for my Bloggiversary present, is to hear from you. My brain is too thickly coated with butter-wine to think of a clever reader survey, so just tell me something about yourself, anything at all. Or, is there anything you detest or enjoy particularly about Flotsam? A particular entry? What is your favorite color? Which is your favorite Law & Order franchise? Capri Pants: Friend or Foe?
To get things started, I will share with you a picture of my own self, as a youth:
28 Comments
Happy first blogaversary!
Ummmm, about me. I love that you have the word “solipsism” in your blogtag. Yes, I am easily amused.
I love: Your header — the typewriter as message-in-a-bottle. Also, as a longtime cube-dweller, LOVED the faux advice column.
I detest: Haven’t been reading you long enough to have anything for that category. Probably wouldn’t share with you if I did, though, because I try to be polite.
Favorite color: Black. Because it’s oh-so-slimming.
L&O Franchise: SVU (because of the yummy Chris Meloni)
Capris: On other women they are just dandy, but my own legs are that particular combination of short and fat that make capri pants very much my foe.
Happy Blogggggiversary!
I love the roller skates.
I may have done myself a permanent injury laughing at your gauchos post. The gauchos, the cats (I moved cross country with four of them) oh my sweet god, you made me laugh.
About me: My favorite color is deep red wine red. I don’t watch television. The internet fills all my time-wasting needs.
Dude, LOVE the skates! Hahahaha! I believe I had a pair of those too.
You are an amazing and entertaining writer. I don’t think I ever click that little ‘x’ in the top right corner without having had a good laugh.
Happy Blogiversary my dear!
1. What label/variety/vintage of said butter-wine are you tossing back? Inquiring internet minds want to know.
2. Digging the skates.
3. Always knew you were hip, as in “not lame”.
4. Sorry to hear about the undead shuffle.
5. Always enjoy your site, and am now intimidated to realize other people usually edit themselves. I typically just type and post. But then, maybe that’s why you are so good.
6. A very very happy blogiversary (sp?) to you. And a most joyous upcoming year.
7. Do not go to my site. I just posted a pic of an 8 week old fetus, as I am pregnant, and it could look awfully braggadocious. I was just trying to make myself think positively as I am yarfing all day, every day, uncontrollably. Yet still, I should not complain.
8. Back to happy blogiversary to you.
I love that picture. And I love your blog. Happy bloggiversary, baby! Isn’t blogging whilst intoxicated fun?
I never understood the many Law and Order franchises. Capri pants may not be all that attractive, but they do hide the cellulite. And don’t change a thing about Flotsam: I adore every stinkin’ word. (And I mean “stinkin’” in the most loving and sycophantic way possible.)
Tsk, tsk Alexa. Just because it hasn’t been published doesn’t mean it’s not publishable. I’d buy the book. Don’t change a thing, dear…
Happy blogoversary!
The internet IS published, Alexa. Or that’s what the button says.
Oh, you mean published by someone ELSE?
Happy Blogaversary! What better way to celebrate than with a bottle of buttery wine? Love reading your blog. :)
My greatest incandescent petty hatred at the moment- formal shorts. WHO DECIDED THAT IT WAS OKAY TO WEAR THESE THINGS IN DRESSY SETTINGS? THEY’RE FARGING SHORTS. I couldn’t tell you where the root of my animosity for these clothing items came from, but seeing two Parliment interns walking across the Great Lobby in them made me want to bash their brains out against the plinth of the statue of Gladwell in the corner.
Happy Blogiversary, Alexa! Has it been a year already?
I have to admit that although I had declared myself a mortal enemy of capri pants everywhere, I now own THREE pairs. Because they’re the drawstring kind, and since they’re capri pants, I can buy them cheap ($10 at Target!) and not have to worry about them being too short, and I can wear them pregnant or post-partum.
But they still look like crap.
A year? Time really does fly.
I wanna know how the running’s going? From your (physical, not stylistic) lameness, I’m hoping that you’re keeping it up, but I suspect the hip is the result of the fall in high shoes.
And the original L&O is CLEARLY the best one. The guy on SVU may be hot and Vincent D’Onofrio does know everything and more, but Lenny takes the cake. Way back in the day, we invented a little L&O drinking game: Drink when Lenny mentions an ex-wife, drink when he makes a bad pun or wisecrack, drink when he refers to his alcoholism….oh, right, maybe not.
Congratulations!
What I love about Flotsam:
You often write what I’m thinking, only wittier.
And your scorn for gauchos kept me from caving once when I was weakening. “That Flotsam, she is hip, and she hates the gauchos,” I thought to myself. “If she knew you IRL, she would not let you get the gauchos!” (The irony is that only a day or two later, you admitted to caving yourself.)
Favorite color: I’ve been trying to shake my fixation on pink for 3 years now. As a former wannagoth, I feel shame.
L&O: The original, when Chris Noth was still on.
And finally, capris: The skin-tight-fitting ones that end at the knee make most people look like they have chicken legs, but with really big hips. But the other variants are mostly OK.
Dearest Alexa, I toast your one year on the wild and wooly internet. And mention that, even whilst enjoying a buttery wine, you still create better posts than I.
My favorite colors are green and brown. Like trees.
My favorite L & O franchise is Criminal Intent. I’ve got a strange fixation with Vincent D’onofrio and find him incredibly sexy. Have you seen “The Whole Wide World?” You should. You’d love it. Even though it co-stars
Captain Squints-a-lotRenee Zellweger. But it was made 10 years ago, when she weighed slightly more than 4 pounds.Capris are like many things in that they can be used for both the good and the evil. They can be the good alternative for the summer, as they provide the good cover for the purply spider veins of the thighs and the calves.
Here’s to a great year, my friend and Confabulous Co-Creator. I look forward to seeing you again soon.
Congrats on the 1 year anniversary!
Love the photo.
Take care and I hope the next year has many many great things in store for you.
A year! How fabulous! Glad the year is ending so happily, with a new home and wedding planning.
Here’s some answers for you:
Tell me something about yourself, anything at all:
I work from home. Some days I say good-bye to my husband in the morning and don’t use my voice again until I see him nine hours later. Other days, I talk my dog’s ears off.
Is there anything you detest or enjoy particularly about Flotsam?
Love you humor. Am devastated when you don’t post for several days in a row.
A particular entry?
Probably the “scene” between the dean of the program and the two ex-boyfriends. Especially this exchange:
EX-BOYFRIEND1: Well I can. When I dated her, she wasn’t very experienced at all. You should have seen her try to give a blow job.
EX-BOYFRIEND2: {darkly} I wish I had.
What is your favorite color?
Today, it is yellow, because it is raining and I want some sun.
Which is your favorite Law & Order franchise?
I stopped watching television when Buffy went off the air.
Capri Pants: Friend or Foe?
Evil foe to the short and curvy woman. Masterful lover to the tall and willowly.
I can’t believe no one has offered up what they don’t like about Flotsam! I despise the fact that your writing makes mine look like a kindergardener’s attempt to describe “What I Did This Summer.” And it really bugs me to no end to have seen that your hair is still as pretty as it was when you were a child.
And honestly, even then, you were a snappy dresser: no gauchos for you!
Happy B-A, Alexa. I am so glad that I found you. I echo Dooney in that I get a hitch in my finger when I click on your new posts.
Happy Bloggiversary, Alexa! An eventful year indeed. I like that you shared it with us with good grace, humor, style and resilience.
I know not of L&O, being exiled. Favourite colour would be a sort of inky blue. Or maybe green. Capris: good, perhaps on some, but not on me, dear. Never on me.
Happy One Year!
I’m a lurker (sorry, but most of the time I have nothing interesting to add). But given prompts I can answer:
1) love the humor. detest when days go by without anything new (however, as I am unable to write so my blog has been withering on the vine since January, it seems hipocritical to say anything). My favorite entries usually involve Miss Rothschild.
2) I’m an amazing procrastinator. Amazing, I tell you. But not so good at directions - hence this being number 2 when should be number 1.
3)SVU - but becuase of Mariska Hargitay.
4) I’m not sure I have a favorite color - I love most color, but hate a select few such as mushed-up cooked pea green.
5)Capri’s are just never a good idea. I’ve yet to see anyone I think looks good in them, it is just degrees of badness.
Have a fabulous upcoming year - as long as you continue to post.
After six months of (mostly) lurking on your blog I still have NO idea what gaucho’s are. A particularly hideous kind of garment used to cover the nether regions, yes, but what does it look like. And more importantly, do I own a pair???
And capri’s? Sounds like a cocktail to me.
I could google it, but I’m too lazy.
As for a full list of the posts that moved me especially, just type this in google:
“lut c” site:flotsamblog.com
Many returns of the day.
Happy 1st Bloggiversary! Way to go, Alexa! Where’s the cake? Hmmm. I guess I should take part in the poll festivities:
1) Something about me: I can’t stand the word “participate.” Not sure why. It just makes my teeth itch.
2) What I like most about FLOTSAM: You write very well, and you’re FUNNY!
3) Favorite color: Wine red.
4) Favorite L&O: Not so much into the L&O. (Although Chris Noth in the original was pretty darn tasty!)
5) Capris are the pants of Satan.
Someday we should chat about the Reproductive Luddite thaing. I’m trying to understand it, but not having much success. Any insights, tips, tricks, or handy household hints would be appreciated!
I am relatively new to Flotsam, yet it seems like I’ve been reading you for years…err…year! You’re like a buttery glass of wine yourself–familiar, tasty, intoxicating, and habit forming! Happy blogoversary, and may this not be your last drunken post. Oh…my favorite color is blue, I loathe Law & Order in all its forms, and capris=less shaving, therefore AOK in my book.
1)Something about me…I wish I still lived in St. Paul.
2) You and your take on life’s whole crazy mess. Oh, and those skates and cordurouy pants are kicking cute’s ass. Seriously. Are you totally cussing someone out in that photo, cause girl, you have got attitude!
3) Red and turquoise, together
4/5)And capri pants rock. I like them because I hate shorts. And I like the Sunday night L&O cause the big weird guy is hot, hot, hot!!!
Happy blog birthday! May you have all the wishes you wish for in the coming year!
1. Somethin’ about me? I will try anything new Trader Joe’s produces. I have no doubt that they will one day, as a prank, begin selling bags of “Trader Joe’s Scrumdiddlyumptious Ferret Scat” for $1.99 a pop… and I will be unable to help myself from buying one.
2. I like it ALL, yo! I am a total writing snot (well, as much as someone who compulsively re-reads Stephen King books in lieu of Booker Prize winners can be), and the writing here is consistently excellent. Whether it’s happy or sad, heart-rending or hilarious (or both), Flotsam is a kick-ass read.
3. Color: black.
4. Original L&O is the ONLY way to go. It gets to be like an old friend… you wind up doing things like shrieking, “SKODA!” at the screen during the opening credits, because you know that his presence guarantees a delightful insanity-defense episode. Chris Sarandon’s presence also usually signals a freakily enjoyable case.
5. Any vertically-appended garment other than a skirt is an abomination. I wear shorts only to run. I’d wear a skirt then, too, but haven’t been running long enough to pare down the Thighs of Destiny to the point where they don’t chafe and rub hard enough to ignite my underthingies.
That picture it awesome and you are much better at drunk blogging than me. Less slurring and typos.
Happy One Year. I’m so glad I found Flotsam and I hope that the next year brings you everything you want.
Very cute picture! I’ll be brief since I happen to be commenting under the influence of some butter-ish beverage myself. Love the humor and wit, happy bloggiversary!
Happy Belated Anniversary! How could I ever pick a favorite part about Flotsam! It was the first blog I ever read and still my favorite. I’ve lost track of the number of times you’ve brought me to tears of laughter.
As for capris and gauchos I must point out that there would have been no flashing of the homeless guy had you been wearing either.
Hmmmm tiramisu? Would that be the same tiramisu that you showed me on the 16th? Please tell me you didn’t have the will power to wait until the 19th to eat it!
I’ll be dull and just say I love your writing and your attitude, and I’m coming back for ever. You can’t stop me.
I’m particularly intrigued by the situation with your father. You have a tough situation there, yet you write about it with extraordinary patience as well as humour. Perhaps that’s not very different from how we all write about infertility (although you do that better than the rest of us, too), but I feel I’m learning a lot about how you do that.
I love the fact that you apparently used to be (still are?) a boston red sox fan and I dislike the fact that it’s almost required to pee prior to reading about a particularly bad day.
Happy Blogiversary!
Hey! Happy Bloggiversary! Sorry I’m late with my happy bloggy wishes.
“just tell me something about yourself, anything at all.”
Well, I’m often late for things,
and I love “Flotsam.”
I’m also wondering about my choice to put that period inside the quotes…