September 2006

So, just out of curiosity, what are the penalties for coworkericide?

September 29, 2006

I must say, I am enjoying this “free time” business. I have managed to exercise, and to bake a batch of cookies, and I am planning to catch up on email this weekend and possibly clean the house. Sadly, this will be the first time I have thoroughly cleaned since we moved. In June. Perhaps [...]

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I cannot tell a lie.

September 27, 2006

Yesterday morning did not go smoothly, and in an attempt to avoid being late to work—or, rather, any later than I already was—I decided to forgo a badly-needed shower in favor of a beauty trick I was always hearing about but had never tried: baby powder in the hair. Allegedly, sprinkling baby powder in your [...]

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Weekend, Noun: Any two day period taken or given as a weekly rest period from one’s work. *Updated*

September 25, 2006

So, when we last saw our heroine, she was whining unbecomingly about not being pregnant. Nothing, she thought, typing her insipid blog entry, has the power to ruin a girl’s day like a negative pregnancy test. How wrong she was (the narrator muses darkly). I have a stash of tests, of various brands, in my [...]

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This post brought to you by the letter P.

September 21, 2006

As is so often the case during my fits of faux-gravidity, I found myself possessed by an urge to pee on something, anything, any stick at all with a picture of a baby on the box. And so I did. To my utter shock, I found that if I pried open the case, removed the [...]

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Some days I bore even myself.

September 19, 2006

Do you know what two things do not go well together? Final papers and newly installed Dish TV with Tivo-esque. I have vast amounts of schoolwork to complete, but on Saturday two nice gentlemen with a ladder and several hundred feet of cable facilitated our transition from the one-channel-or-two-if-the-sky-is-cloudless HELL we have been living in [...]

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Aaaah.

September 14, 2006

Last weekend the Actually and I took a much needed vacation. We didn’t go far—merely downtown, to the twenty-first floor of a fancy hotel. We were less than nine minutes from our front door, but what a difference nine minutes makes. After all, lying in our bed at home, we do not look straight ahead [...]

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Coals to Newcastle.

September 11, 2006

Five years ago I had just moved back to Minnesota from New York. I was taking what was intended as a semester-long sabbatical from Sarah Mawr. It would turn out to be a five-year academic hiatus, during which I would start a magazine, be hospitalized for mental illness, quit smoking, have an ill-advised fling, publish [...]

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Molehill Into Mountain.

September 7, 2006

Last Friday morning I checked in at the hospital, took a seat in the radiology waiting room, and paged nervously through an issue of People while listening to the man across from me discuss his leg injury. He was explaining to a trapped-looking fellow patient that there had been “groin involvement.” “My testicles,” he says [...]

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