Flotsam

Do you know what two things do not go well together? Final papers and newly installed Dish TV with Tivo-esque. I have vast amounts of schoolwork to complete, but on Saturday two nice gentlemen with a ladder and several hundred feet of cable facilitated our transition from the one-channel-or-two-if-the-sky-is-cloudless HELL we have been living in since our move to a dizzying new world where not only may we watch three or four distinct episodes of Law & Order per day, we may also pause, rewind, and record live television. And, no, it is not a coincidence that I had this installed just in time for premiere week. And yes I do realize that the fact that I have marked my fall viewing schedule on my calendar is singularly disturbing, but then I was not allowed to watch much besides NOVA as a child, so perhaps I am merely making up for lost time.
The problem, you see, is that I am supposed to be spending my evenings hunched joylessly over my studies, writing about estrogen rhythmicity and the evolutionary roots of postpartum endocrinology. But let me tell you, in a contest between endocrinology journals and America’s Next Top Model, Tyra wins every time.

Besides, I need cheering—for forty-five minutes this morning I managed to convince myself that my still uncharacteristically high temperatures mean I ovulated ten-ish days ago, rather than that I am coming down with something (the Actually is feverish too, and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t ovulated in a while). As a corollary, I decided that my constant cramping and tiredness are indicative of pregnancy, despite the fact that I am ALWAYS CRAMPY AND TIRED.
And then I looked back on the two years since I was last pregnant, and remembered the umpteen other times I have been sure I was gestating a baby, despite the fact that I was anovulatory, or on birth control that month (oh, I wish I were kidding), or practically celibate. And then I regained my grasp of logic.
I am not sure why I do this, but there is something about the week before my period is due that turns gas pains into implantation cramps and indigestion into incipient morning sickness. I suspect the past week of cramps is less “baby” and more “cyst”–which means I will be going back on the pill next month to settle things down until possible Letrozole this winter.

I have good news for those who wish I would update more often (for those who wish I would update less often…well, you’re on your own): On October 3rd my semester ends, meaning I will no longer be juggling a more-than-full-time job and an eighteen-credit course load (doesn’t that sound insane when I actually write it down? What was I thinking?), which means I will have more time to devote to this woefully neglected website of mine. My next semester starts a month later, and I do have a few writing projects due in the interim, but it should be much calmer around here. Or rather, calmer in my non-computer life, enabling my entry-writing and blog-commenting to whip themselves into a whirl of activity.
Of course, at last count I have something like 870 email messages I would like to respond to, but how long can that possibly take? (Don’t answer that).

Tomorrow, at work, I have to give a presentation to twenty strangers. I am not looking forward to this, possibly because the only preparation I have done is to scrawl a few key points onto a post-it note. It is probably safe to assume I will not be hired to give any “business presentation skills” seminars in the near future.

This may be the most resoundingly boring post I have ever written, but I am too tired to think of anything else. So allow me to present–in lieu of a well-formed, morally uplifting entry–a foodstuff recommendation:

I tend to enjoy anything “salt and pepper” flavored–the pinnacle being the salt and pepper shrimp I had at Ken Lo’s Memories of China, in London. I am also fond of rice crackers, so as you can see, for me Tiger Tiger Rice Crackers, Salt & Pepper Flavor are a perfect storm of snack food goodness. I can not explain to you the love I have for these diminutive disks of salty, peppery taste.
They are available at SuperTarget, in the “Asian” aisle (Well, not if you go to the SuperTarget nearest me, because I bought the last two tins, but any other SuperTarget should have them).

That’s all I have. Is it time for bed yet?