October 2006

Twenty-Seven {or, Self Portrait With Kazoo}

October 31, 2006

Happy Birthday to me…

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Entirely too much information.

October 25, 2006

I mentioned briefly in my last post that my metformin side effects have returned. Boy howdy, have they ever. I am peeved by this for many reasons, one of which is that it seems cruel for side effects to disappear for six months and then reappear with the ferocity of a wolverine who hasn’t eaten [...]

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Lo, How The Mighty Have Fallen.

October 22, 2006

It is the Day of Rest, and yet I am here in my office, on a clear and breezy Sunday, running a series of reports. I am hoping they will run quickly so that I can get home to my leftover pork with ginger sauce, but in the meantime I will tell you about my [...]

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Director of Despair.

October 17, 2006

I didn’t accomplish much of value during my first two days as Lead Editor. My new boss was out of the office with an allergic reaction, which would have been fine (for me—not for my boss, who would probably have preferred less itching), except that no one had told me what to do, and I [...]

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YOU be the judge!

October 13, 2006

I just realized that I forgot to tell you about my very disturbing Saturday. Such an oversight can partially be explained by the stress of my new job (which, as of today, is mostly the stress of doing nothing because I have a relatively tenuous grasp of what my new job is) and partially by [...]

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The Book of Alexa.

October 9, 2006

As revealed to me during a recent trip to the mall: Whosoever shall wear those which are not shorts, nor a skirt, but the unholy marriage of the twain, they shall be cast down from their high place into a pit of fire. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I [...]

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Surprise!

October 6, 2006

On Wednesday I was walking to the cafeteria when I ran into my boss. “Where are you going?” he asked. “I—well…Lunch?” “I need to talk to you. Come to my office at noon.” So, I went off to eat, not at all dampened by grim mental images of firing, public excoriation, and the walk of [...]

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With a sinister cackle, He jumps lightly from beam to beam…

October 4, 2006

I spent an extra half hour in the bathroom yesterday morning, and not because I was applying extra mascara and trying to impart a non-whorish flush to my pasty cheeks. Instead, I was crouching on the toilet holding the door closed with my foot, wondering what I could use as a weapon. At six o’clock [...]

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