November 2006

While I was in the hospital, I had occupational therapy for an hour each day. Allegedly, occupational therapy is designed to assist people in developing “skills for the job of living.” For writers, I suppose this means accepting rejection and mixing drinks. You might expect a term like “occupational therapy” to include things like cooking [...]

It is remarkable to me that there were that many books that didn’t fit on our other three (large!) bookcases. At this rate of expansion, we will be living in an apartment with books carpeting the floors, a bed made of books, sofas and chairs made of books, and several stylish book-endtables within a few [...]

I went to bed at 7:30 last night. I think I may have been drugged. I hadn’t thought any of my relatives capable of slipping me a mickey, but I suppose you never can tell. Today I spent eschewing bacon and weeping. The Actually was watching some sort of vegetarian propaganda film, and felt compelled [...]

For days now, I have seen only one thing when I close my eyes: a cloud-wrapped mountain of mashed potatoes, whipped with a full pint of cream, sprinkled with sea salt, a lump of butter slipping from its peak. Excuse me, I need a moment. So. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I am weak with anticipation. At [...]

Oh, bother. I forgot about NaBlowMe until just now, when I have already had two gin-and-ginger-ales, and now I am forced to break my no-blogging-whilst-intoxicated rule. But I have to post something, because I have it on good authority that if I miss a day Mrs. Kennedy will personally pluck every hair from my body. [...]

Amanda asked which was my best and which was my worst job. This was a remarkably easy question to answer, possibly because I have not had all that many jobs, and possibly because time spent as a waitress invariably inspires strong feelings. For me the feelings are both strong and contradictory–waitressing jobs were both the [...]

I have been sitting here for five minutes trying to think of a way to eke a post out of what is in front of me, that being a glass of wine, a bag of Spicy Thai Kettle Chips, and two stacks of overdue library books. It can’t be done, I tell you. The revolver [...]

That last post went over like a lead balloon filled with wet cement attached to two or three anchors. What can I say—school started a week ago and I am nearly dead with busyness. I said I would post every day in November, but I didn’t say it would be pretty. But no more memes, [...]

Today in the midst of planning I came across a list of flowers that are NOT recommended for weddings. They are not recommended because of their unsavory traditional meanings, and here is the list: Christmas Rose: Scandal Foxglove: Insincerity Larkspur: Infidelity Lavender: Distrust Marigold: Grief Mulberry: I shall not survive you Raspberry: Remorse Red Carnation: [...]

You will have to comment softly today, as I am a bit hungover. My gin-headache was sorely exacerbated by what I saw walking into work this morning, namely a fifty-year-old woman in a MAUVE PLAID GAUCHO SUIT. A pinkish, plaid suit. With gauchos instead of pants. I considered just turning straight around and calling it [...]

Believe it or not, I have a few big, weighty posts to write. Important posts. Thoughtful posts. This is not one of them. No, this is a post about a dress–my wedding dress, which I bought Monday night for an amount of money that I am trying to avoid thinking about, because thinking about it [...]

I think I found my wedding dress today. It was an accident. I was showing my Nearly Mother-in-Law around my neighborhood, and we went into the tiny bridal shop across from my house. I had never been inside, despite the fact that I could throw a chicken leg out my dining room window and leave [...]

I just returned from work and haven’t even removed my coat, and yet I am sitting at my desk eating leftover birthday cake out of the box. With a spoon, because there are no clean forks. There may or may not be whipped cream on my woolly lapel. I fairly ooze class and sophistication, I [...]