I’ll have one of everything.

I just got back from seeing a nutritionist who specializes in PCOS and insulin resistance. Y’all. You will never believe what she told me.
I need to eat more.
I went in prepared to defend my Breakfast of Champion*: egg, sausage, lightly buttered english muffin, cheese. I was prepared for the nutritionist to frown and tell me that I should be having a bowl of spelt flakes for breakfast, like all the Kashi-eating sylphs in my office. Instead she suggested I ADD some fruit and a large glass of milk. ADD. ADD MORE FOOD.
Now, I eat a lot of of food. Food completes me. Food makes me want to be a better man. Food had me at “hello.” In the past year I have sporadically attempted to modify my eating in order to lose weight, but I have never in that time skipped a meal or eaten salad for lunch or bought a package of low-fat cheese. I have eaten pumpkin ravioli, balsamic glazed short-ribs, and lemongrass shrimp, and now I get to eat even more? EVEN MORE?
Of course, I am not allowed to eat just any old thing that catches my eye, and I will have to cut down on the pasta, but apparently part of the reason I am so ravenous for things like pasta is that I NEED TO EAT MORE CHEESE.
My mind, it is officially blown.

With that, I am off to have a pork chop.

p.s. Also, I am supposed to have a bigger lunch. A BIGGER LUNCH. For the layperson: this means a lunch with more food in it.

*Singular, because I do not presume to know what is best for other champions.