Flotsam

The first fifteen Things About Me can be found here.

16. The first chapter book I read was about a girl and her pet rabbit, Bun-Bun. In the only scene I remember, the girl visits her grandmother’s house, where they are having RABBIT for dinner. Drama ensues.
17. Most of my time between the day I received that book and the end of junior high school I spent reading.
18. Nothing made me happier when I was seven than to snack on a bag of frozen corn while sitting with my back against the heating vent, book in hand.
19. I was in daycare five days a week until I was twelve–six a.m. to six p.m. in summer.
20. It was in daycare that I started a lucrative Pet Rock business.
21. Eventually parents began to wonder what was happening to their children’s lunch money.
22. Also, I had been bagging the purchases in plastic bags meant for the disposal of feminine supplies.
23. The logo, unfortunately, was easily recognized.
24. For one day in the fifth grade I pretended to be a triplet.
25. I brought extra clothes and changed in the bathroom.
26. When I came back I said that Alexa was sick, and that I was Angie, her triplet sister. But shh! Don’t tell the teacher!
27. I failed my first and only math test that day—Angie was bad at math.
28. I had my first and only victory in gym class that day—Tammy, the other triplet, was something of a tomboy.
29. In the sixth grade a story I wrote was published in the newspaper as part of a writing contest. I was called to the school office for a phone call from a reporter, who told me the news.
30. I think that may have been the happiest day I have ever had. Actually, I know that was the happiest day I have ever had.
31. The story was called “I Wish I Were Dead.”
32. They cut a few paragraphs for publication, which annoyed me as it ruined the pacing.
33. It was the tale of a student who facetiously wished for death and had said wish granted, and contained the line “I had butterflies in my stomach, and it felt like they were mating.” At eleven, I thought this was the height of comedy.
34. The story was made into a play by the Children’s Museum.
35. I weighed 73 pounds the next summer when I started the seventh grade. I was painfully gangly. I looked like loosely bundled kindling.
36. I couldn’t go to the nurse’s office for an aspirin without being interrogated about my eating habits by a well-meaning health professional.
37. Some of my nicknames that year included Auschwitz, Nervosa, Stick Figure, and My GOD, Don’t You Eat?
38. Such was my hatred of junior high school that it will have no further mention in these 100 Things.