Is Very Foolish?
This is getting ridiculous. I have been trying to write the same post for four days. I have written four rambling, nonsensical drafts. They range from the emotional to the highly technical, from confident to defensive. The one thing they all share is their length: too long. So goddamn long, and boring, and awful. So I will make this short.
The Actually started it about a month ago, during a conversation about fertility treatment success rates and prices, and our plans for the coming months.
“So…” he asked, “Why aren’t we going straight to IVF?”
Actually, I think he said “IBF,” which I suppose he thought stood for “Intricate Baby Fertilization,” but I knew what he meant.
Today we sat and filled out ten-page new patient questionnaires, occasionally calling family members to ask whether we have a history of Marfan Syndrome, or Dwarfism, or Lazy Eye, or any of the other 50-odd items on the list. There was an awful lot of giggling for an afternoon of paperwork–I think we are a little giddy.
We are not passing Go, not collecting $200. We are going straight to IVF.
We have exactly $5000 of infertility coverage. I have been strongly discouraged from doing injectable IUIs because of my risk of higher order multiples—not to mention the risk of a cycle cancelled after I have already spent $1000 on drugs and monitoring when they discover I have 96 growing follicles. So our other option is Letrozole IUIs, of which we could afford two or maybe three. If we go ahead with these, we will not be able to afford IVF if they fail.
I am simply not sure we are willing to bet $5000 (our insurance money) on something with such a low success rate, particularly when my ovaries have been so reluctant to cooperate with the odds in the past (two ovulations in two years). And as someone with two miscarriages under my belt, I cannot help but worry that I would get pregnant via IUI and miscarry, and there we would be, unable to afford further treatments.
With the IVF warranty program we are considering, we get three fresh cycles and three FETs. If we are not successful (defined by them as a live, take-home baby), we will be out less than the cost of one fresh cycle, thanks to our insurance. The live birth rates for my age group are excellent.
We are switching clinics, and have a consult with our new RE on January 17th. I don’t know if they allow people to skip IUIs entirely, but we shall see. Maybe the Actually and I have lost our minds, and the doctor will tell us so. But if she agrees with this plan, we will start getting all the necessary tests repeated, take needle classes, and begin arranging the financial aspects. I’d start birth control in May, injections after the honeymoon, and retrieval/transfer would be in June.
So, what do you think? Are we crazy, or crazy like a fox?
25 Comments
I go for answer C. Your plan sounds eminently reasonable, and eminently sane. I hope your RE lets you go ahead with it, and above all I hope that this works beautifully for you.
Well, this is clearly meant to be because just yesterday I typed the words, “Bitch is crazy…crazy like a FOX!”, though about my mom, not you. Anyway, I said that expression, you said that expression. Clearly a sign the stars are aligned for a successful IBF cycle.
I know I have the kid and the mesh “Number 1 Mom” hat now, but if we tried for another there would be no fucking about with IUIs. We’d be going straight for the big guns again.
Yay. I’m so excited for you. The new RE better lete you do it or else I’m going to put on my “Number 1 Mom” hat on slightly cocked to the side and give her what for.
P.S. There really is no “Number 1 Mom” hat. I’m just dreaming.
Crazy like a fox, baby. Like a FOX. The only thing that would have me worried would be the BCPs around the wedding, but that’s just because BCPs make me crazy (and not the least bit foxy, if you catch my drift…). But I don’t recall reading that you have a response along those lines, so go for it! IBF here Alexa comes!!!
Crazy like the stone-cold fox you are! I say take that insurance money and run with it. If they “strongly recommend” you do IUI first, tlel them you “strongly recommend” that they pay for your cycles after that fails.
Good, good luck!
Sounds totally logical to me! Wheee!
So if this works, what will happen to that gorgeous dress? Remind me when the wedding is…
Cat: The wedding is May 26th, and I wouldn\’t start injections until after that. And yes, we are waiting BECAUSE of the dress. Obviously my priorities need no adjusting.–Alexa
IBF. Oh that’s adorable. Dude, my knowledge of this stuff is pretty…well, it’s pretty limited, but this makes sense to me. Why waste your money on something that you have evidence to the effect that it, uh, will not work? The only thing that worries me is that insurance companies often are dicks about this kind of thing, i.e., we will only pay for IVF if XX has been tried first. But I would hope that your doctor would be able to circumvent that with Very Professional recommendations.
Despite the fact that the statement “injections after the honeymoon” makes me simultaneously giggle & shudder, I think this is a very sensible plan. Good luck getting the doctors & insurance co. to agree!
Intricate baby fertilization, huh? I think that sounds like a very logical conclusion to the very confusion combination of emotional and financial risk you’re facing. I hope your new doc agrees.
I don’t know much about IVF..but its sounds like a well-reasoned plan to me. (and you have no idea who i am so i’m thinking that’s not very helpful.)
Good luck w/whatever you choose.
The only problem I see is that you may hyperstim on IVF, causing cycles to be cancelled, and potentially lower quality eggs. If their prog will cover you still in this eventuality, and they agree to go VERY gently with you into that IVF cycle (ie if they recommend stims above 125 IU a day), then I say go for it.
Are you pcos? Is that why you run the risk of hom w/ iui? If that comes from RE, you should be all set with insurance (and if they deny, you may be able to appeal - they usually do what doctor recommends). Typically, unless there\\\’s mf, they do recommend at least 3 or 6 iui\\\’s first.
Anyhoo - I do love those warranty programs - very smart. Of course you know you\\\’ll have to run the recommended protocol by us too!
(did you ever get tested for mthfr? also why do you think you\\\’d m/c w/ iui and not ibf? - just curious)
T: Yup, flagrantly PCOS, and the HOM concern comes straight from my RE. As for m/c, I did not mean to imply that I thought I was more likely to miscarry with IUI, only that if I did–say, in my second cycle–I would be out of treatment money with nothing to show for it, whereas in the IVF warranty program, miscarriage does not count as successful completion, so I would either have more cycles to try or would get my refund–Alexa
No question, that is ABSOLUTELY the way to go.
Sounds reasonable to me. Letrozole was useless for me–ovulated on d23 the first time, d30 the second time and that was AFTER Clomid from d24-29. It was pointless, I tell ya. What a waste of…damn, I don’t even want to think about how much money we wasted. At least only the second cycle was an IUI.
I’m excited for you and The Actually! And Intricate Baby Fertilization really does sound like a much more accurate term, anway.
Not a bad plan at all. I felt like 3 IUIs was a waste of time, we went 0/3 for pregnancies. We also only had $5000 of infertility coverage and to our delight found (a) cost of drugs did not count toward the $5000 (and we switched insurance carriers after first IVF and 2nd carrier had same policy so check your policy) and (b) since our RE took our insurance plan the negotiated rates for the procedures took about 50% off the costs. Total crap for those who pay out of pocket (which was eventually us) but meant we could afford to do it out of pocket if another attempt was necessary. With IVF I got pregnant the first time, miscarried, then 2nd attempt didn’t work - but it did give use some good insight that we wouldn’t have gotten with IUI, which is that my egg quality appeared to suck. 3rd try with donor eggs and I’m 15 weeks pregnant.
Just do the IVF. My hubby and I just had a failed attempt in October but we have 13 little frozen embabies just waiting for our next transfer. My friend got preggers on the first cycle with triplets! I’m not giving up. Your chances are better with IVF. Luckily our insuranc ecovers $20,000 so we have many more attempts to go before we exhaust that money. After that, shoot, we’ll take out a second mortage on the house. Whatever it takes!
Not crazy at all. With your insurance situation, I would do exactly the same thing. I personally only mucked about with Clomid for so long simply because I had unlimited coverage for that and limited coverage for IVF. And, though we got lucky w/IUI, if and when I ever decide to go for #2, I would seriously consider going straight to IVF myself.
Though I have to say, for the millionth time, that I hate that we have to make treatment decisions based on the whims of whatever functionaries wrote out our insurance policies.
We went straight to IVF and skipped IUIs also for insurance coverage reasons. Had we dithered around with IUI and been unsuccessful we would’ve had no money left for IVF. The success rates of IUI just aren’t that stellar for us to have take the chance. So unless you’re calling me crazy like a fox, I’d say go for it. And my RE left the decision up to us.
God bless dude! We’ll say our prayers.
Read When Natures not Enough. It’s a good book because it doesn’t talk about the science so much, more about the feelings you’ll experience throughout IVF. I found it very helpful and have given it to my whole family to read.
Go for it. That’s not so very far away, what with the holidays and the wedding planning, it’ll be here before you know it.
OK ,here is my little bit of assvice, assvice with good rational though. I too thought the whole money part of your plan would work also with the 5,000 and the cost share, but it doesn’t quite work that way. This is what I am talking about:
“With the IVF warranty program we are considering, we get three fresh cycles and three FETs. If we are not successful (defined by them as a live, take-home baby), we will be out less than the cost of one fresh cycle, thanks to our insurance.”
Even though you have insurance coverage, you still have to pay the whole amount of the cost share. You clinic still bills your insurance and they keep the money and do not credit it to your cost share portion. The only way you get some of this money is if you are succcessful on the first try, then you get a credit payment. Make sense - if not e-mail me.
Your clinic may do things a bit differently, but I did a little research in the Twin Cities and the clinics I looked into operated like I explained.
Now, if this is not what you were meaning with that statement, just ignore my whole entire babble and I apologize for taking up your time.
I guess I should add that I agree with your plan, even despite my whole babble that could be percieved as negative, but really, I am not intending that.
Crazy or not….good luck!
I know diddlysquat about any of it, but this post reads to me like YOU feel like you are making the right decision and that makes me happy for you. Good luck and all kinds of warm fuzzy wishes.
WOO HOO!
I say fucking go for it! You are the tits!
That’s not crazy; that’s assertive.