Dr. Doctor, can’t you see I’m burning, burning? *UPDATED*
Things I have learned over the past eight days:
1. Deciding not to be depressed during the holidays is not the same as not being depressed during the holidays.
2. The best way to make the Actually happy is to let him unwrap a package containing a painting of his favorite cat vacationing in Paris.
3. It is not, however, the EASIEST way to make him happy, as it will involve:
a. Humiliating oneself in front of hipster-ish art-supply store workers
b. Trying—with only gouache and a cheap paintbrush–to capture the mixture of intensity and insouciance evident in the face of said cat
c. Ruining most of the painting by applying a (recommended by hipster-ish art-supply store worker) protective coating that leaves odd white spots on the background, making the Eiffel tower look downright shabby, even though you painted it with fancy gold paint
4. It is nigh impossible to write a blog entry when paralyzed by pre-holiday inertia.
5. The nice thing about a mother is that she will buy you a fancy new house suit even if your fiancé disapproves of house suits in general and has refused to buy you one himself.
6. The nice thing about a fiancé is that he will sit next to you at a family gathering and rub your back whenever anyone says something annoying.
7. The nice thing about Josie is that she humors my neuroses and brings me clinic paperwork that I decide I ABSOLUTELY MUST READ IMMEDIATELY, even though my own copy is on its way to me in the mail.
8. This gift, from the Actually, caused me to burst into tears not merely because it was his very sweet way of saying I love you, and I really believe we are going to have a baby, but because I am so afraid that he is wrong.
9. Steamed milk with amaretto makes everything better.
10. I am a very lucky girl.
Believe it or not, I have an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Doctor. She doesn’t know it yet, but this is an IVF consult. You probably remember that I was planning to switch clinics. My reasons for this were fairly simple—I had heard wonderful things about New Clinic, and I remembered that Dr. Doctor’s clinic had much lower IVF success rates. Much as I like Dr. Doctor, I wasn’t about to pay thousands of dollars for IVF at a clinic that was substantially less likely to get me pregnant.
Well, it turns out, I read the success rates wrong. This is remarkably easy to do, as two of the clinics here have names consisting of the same three words—one is the Center for Really-Expensive Medicine, and one is the Really-Expensive Medicine Center. Probably I was drunk while reading the statistics, or just being careless, because it turns out that Dr. Doctor’s success rates are actually BETTER than those of New Clinic, rather than the other way around. Also, Dr. Doctor’s clinic is cheaper, and will submit things to my insurance company rather than making me fill out endless claim forms. And while Dr. Doctor and I have been known to play a special version of “Seven Minutes in Heaven” wherein we lock ourselves in a closet and read each other clinical studies, for all I know New Clinic Doctor might be the type to get stroppy with me for “reading too much.”
The point is, I am thinking I might cycle at my current clinic, and to that end have an appointment tomorrow afternoon.
I am petrified.
My fears can be divided into two categories:
1. Those regarding my complete ignorance regarding what to ask in an IVF consult
2. Those regarding the possibility that Dr. Doctor will refuse to let me move ahead with IVF at all
I am trying to put together both a little spiel about why our plan is not the crackpot scheme it may appear to be (financial considerations, PCOS and egg quality/IVF as diagnostic, inadvisability of inj/iui in my case, low success rate and relatively high cost of Letrozole IUI, fact that my insurance covering infertility only lasts for another 18 months, etc.) as well as a list of IVF-related questions.
Here are the questions I have so far:
1. What tests will need to be performed before I can begin IVF?
2. What protocol might you use, and why? (I’m presuming this will be long Lupron w/ BCP, no LH, low stims)
3. How do you feel about letting us transfer a single blast?
4. How well does your clinic perform at culturing embryos to blast?
5. On what day do you freeze embryos, providing there are extras?
6. Why do your frozen success rates suck so hard?
7. What protocol might you use for an FET taking into account that a “natural” FET is unlikely given my PCOS?
8. Do I have to transfer all remaining frozen embryos before proceeding with additional fresh cycles under the warranty program?
9. Should I have a lap to look into the suspected endometriosis?
10. What about my wonky tube?
11. How long must I wait after a failed cycle to cycle again?
I know people have posted clinic consult questions before, but I can’t remember where, so forgive me for the repetitive request—what else should I ask in an IVF consult?
Alternatively, what should I be sure to mention when I give my straight-to-IVF pitch?
Many thanks in advance, and don’t forget to tune in for the thrilling conclusion…
UPDATE: And…IVF it is. I’ll post the play by play tomorrow.
16 Comments
I don’t know nuthin’ about no IVF, but I do wish you good luck, and will send you baby-related thoughts and good wishes and love for your appointment.
Also, I might be a little in love with The Actually for giving you that book. And also for loving a painting of your cat in Paris. The whole thing is just hysterically wonderful.
Aw, man, Jonniker stole my comment.
So, pretty much ditto what she said, since she said it better than I would have anyway.
I can’t wait to see how the appointment went! Eek!
1. Is that thompson twins?
2. Am I supposed to answer the questions or provide more (I did take that perc y’see)?
3. That is a scary book to receive, but very sweet.
4. I am SO very happy that the doctor you like (love perhaps?) is at a clinic that doesn’t suck - how refreshing!
5. What in the name of merry christmas is a house suit?
6. I keep wanting to answer your questions - like (like??) do you know that they grow blasts? Find out her opinion on blasts vs. three days. Or her opinion on how might the endo might affect the cycle?
7. Where did the cat stay in Paris? Did you guys go too?
As you know, I’ll be out, but if you need anything I always check email in the am. Good luck w/ your IVF CONSULT! Wahoo! Hang on - have I lost my fucking mind? Oh that’s right, yes I have.
Merry X-mas!!
I hope you and The Actually had a lovely holiday. And I second T, what in the sam hell is a house suit? Like a sweat suit? Or a cat suit? Or a house coat (God forbid)?
Anyhoo, Mel over at Stirrup Queens has a great list of questions, but you have most it covered above: http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/2006/07/questions-when-choosing-reproductive.html.
In terms of the IUI vs. IVF question, I’m hoping that your Dr. respects your decision and the reasons behind wanting to go straight to IVF…especially the issues around insurance, which are key.
You hire the doctor (and even if you have insurance YOU are paying for his or her services) and you are your own best advocate.
Best of luck, I hope it goes well!
The authoritative list of questions was originally done by cass at ‘many miles to go’, she has it bookmarked on her front page. Good luck with the consult sweetie, it sounds like you know the important stuff. Oh, and ask them how many transfers they do in a year, and who does them, and who will do yours.
Oh, yay! I’m so glad you can stay with Dr. Doctor. She sounds so fab that I’m actually jealous that you’re going to be doing an IVF cycle with her. Ok, not really. What with the injections and tests and whatnot. But still… it’ll mean loads more opportunities to play seven minutes.
And what exactly is a house suit? It sounds divine.
Good luck today; I hope it goes much better than you expect!
I’m slow in catching up so I hope the appointment today goes well! I’m glad Dr. Doctor has better rates than you thought.
I’m loving the book. The Actually did really, really well! Mucho Brownie Points to him!
Add me to the list of people who want to know what a house suit is. Is it a suit that looks like a house? A suit FOR the house? Pictures please!
Good luck with your IVF consult, which you are probably at right now, seeing as how Bloglines sucks and didn’t shoot me this post. I had to go chase it down myself. Which is how much I love you. So there.
You tell that doctor what’s what. IVF or bust. You pay, you call the shots.
Hope the consult goes (went?) well… that book from the Actually is *so* sweet. I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but I believe with him that you will be able to have a baby.
The agony is killing me! How did you get through the day! I can’t wait to hear the updates!!!!!
I “heart” house suits also. Mark thinks that when I put mine on I am giving up on life. We have a rule that I can not, for any reason, leave the vicinity of our property wearing my house suit, even if it is to go to the grocery store with a jacket. He too would NEVER buy me one and does not support the idea of wife wearing one.
I love the cat photo - I thought about having a painting of Matisse done for the holidays…
I can’t wait to catch up!
Ok, so is a house suit the same as a house coat?
Oh!! And yay for IVF!!
Good luck! I have been out of town and am just catching up. Hope it went well.
I’m rooting for you Alexa.
I will say that the first time I typed that above sentence? I wrote “I’m rotting for you Alexa.” I’m sure the last thing you need right now is someone ROTTING for you. Anyway. I’ll shut up now.
I am anxious to hear what happens next.
put down the west wing and pick up the laptop - we need updates woman!
Hi everyone, I discovered a book that might be relevant to the topic discussed here. It’s called “The Natural Diet Solution for PCOS and Infertility” by Dr. Nancy Dunne. It’s a comprehensive book that covers dozens of topics. Here’s a link to her PCOS diet book’s table of contents.