When it became obvious that there was no kitten in my immediate future I hied myself to IKEA and bought a plant. I generally stay away from plants due to my extraordinary ability to render them withered and lifeless, but perhaps this specimen will be heartier. The Actually has two plants already, Planty and Sal Mineo, both of whom are years old, so I am hoping some of his superior plant-tending skills will rub off on me. I have named my plant Hugh Laurie, and here is a picture:
Note the cat on his way into the frame, intent on mayhem.
I have a lot to say about the past few weeks, but no idea yet how to say it.
Here is the abbreviated version:
I am in the odd position of having too much on my plate and yet feeling unable to relinquish anything because to do so would cause a cascade of changes—not just for me, but for the Actually. It is as if I am carrying a house of cards on my back, a house of cards that is precisely one card too heavy. If I remove a card, they all tumble. If I don’t, chances are that I’ll eventually collapse, sending the metaphorical cards fluttering into the street.
It’s a pickle.
I’m sure in a day or two I will be back, moaning unattractively about the details of said pickle, but for now I am busy drinking gin fizzes and watering Hugh Laurie while I mull things over.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
hmmm… what kind of plant is that exactly? groovy looking, although a kitten would have been way cuter.
I hope you get out from under this feeling of being a human jenga game. I’d say hand as many cards as possible off to whomever you can and have another drink. soon. you deserve it.
first, i like your plant. second, i figure this is as a delurking post as ever. less-than-three your blog, and you are awesome. so, you know, take care. of leroy jenkins too.
I must say, Hugh Laurie is a dashing specimen of flora. He also looks hearty, which can only be a good thing. If for some reason Hugh meets an utimely death, try getting a philodendron. They are impossible to kill. Seriously. Mine is root-bound in a pot way too small for it (has been for three years now) and I remember to water it probably once a month (too busy tending to Spidey and Allie who demand more attention.) It just won’t give up the ghost.
Okay, now I’ve written entirely too much on plants. I hope this house of cards doesn’t break your back, my dear. I’m worried about you.
An umbrella plant. Nice choice. And one that is veritably invisible to cats.
Personally, I love that you named your plant Hugh Laurie. He needs more recognition.
I’ve never named my plants. Perhaps that’s where we’re going wrong?
No, Thalia, I named my last plant Bob Dole and he met a very unseemly death.
Mr. Laurie is very handsome, indeed. And may I suggest: beer. For Hugh (and other plants, too). Not in excess (you don’t want them slurring and then passed out, the next day craving cheeseburgers), but every once in awhile. It’s the trick my mom swears by, and she hasn’t killed a plant (unintentionally) yet. : )
Since the cards seem destined to tumble one way or the other, I say you get rid of a few of them so at least you stay in one piece! Nice plant. I keep saying that we should get one to liven things up around here. One of these days!
Is that Hugh Laurie with an american accent and an oxytocin habit, or perhaps Hugh with the delightful British accent?
Dude, I hate Hugh Laurie, but, for your sake, I will not pee in your plant out of spite. p.s. naming plants is the coolest thing. seriously. 1st thing I’m doing when I get home tonite is naming all my foliage.
Alexa,
I hate to do this, I do. (Note: I do not actually hate to do this.) Will you please send me that essay you mentioned? I am eager to read and edit your writing. And I wouldn’t have made this request in such a public forum, except for that I am almost sure that you will not send it unless you are subject to some coercion.
Now the many readers of your blog will see that you have promised to send me some of your formal writing, and (I reason) they will pressure you to send it. Readers: did you know that Alexa writes long-form, hilarious, brilliant, and sad stories about real life? Shouldn’t she send them along?
Carry on.
Dessa.
For a woman who needs to relax, you sure have purchased the wrong sort of plant.
Dessa,
You had better be nice or I will find SOMEONE ELSE to be my maid of honor and wear the lovely burlap dress I have designed for you.
I looked at the essay last night and realized I have not fixed it yet. I will send it along when I have, and you will just have to wile away the hours until then beatboxing, or whatever you hip-hoppers do in your spare time.
Love,
Alexa
Is it Bossy or is Hugh Laurie teetering to the right? Bossy thinks perhaps you slipped Hugh Laurie a gin fizz of its own.
I can’t feel my face.
Have been beat beat boxing oxing for 5 consecutive days.
Put a move on, huh?
Dessa.