The sun may be shining outside, but it’s midnight in my soul.
Dear Benjamin Franklin,
I WANT MY HOUR BACK.
Cordially,
Alexa
I woke up this morning at what, according to the clock, was 5:30 a.m. But my body wasn’t fooled. My body knew it was 4:30, and when I tried to drag it out of bed, it was incredulous:
BRAIN: It’s time to get up.
BODY: Are you kidding me? Is this one of your “jokes?” Because it isn’t funny. (Buries head under pillow)
BRAIN: No, it’s not a joke—and what do you mean “one of your ‘jokes’” My jokes are hilarious! Everyone says so! But never mind that now—this isn’t a joke, it’s Daylight Saving Time. Get up.
BODY: I respectfully decline.
BRAIN: It’s time for work.
BODY: No, it isn’t. And do you want to know how I know it isn’t? Circadian rhythms, bitch.
BRAIN: “Circadian?” That’s a big word for you.
BODY: Ha ha. Well, good luck getting up on your own, genius.
BRAIN: Time of day is an arbitrary construct. Part of living in a society is abiding by its rules, and its rules say that IT IS TIME TO GET UP.
BODY: Oh, don’t ‘time is an arbitrary construct’ me. You are such a show off.
BRAIN: You think I like this? You think I want to be up at this hour? I was having a DREAM, with bacon in it, and Hugh Laurie.
BODY: Poor baby.
BRAIN: I hate you.
BODY: Ooh, snap. There’s that famous wit.
I drove to work in the moonlight. It has been a long day already, and it’s only 9:30.
14 Comments
Boy, your brain isn’t one to mess around, is it?
Sort of like that law professor you like, but always think is kind of an ass, all condescending and such.
My body and brain had the same conversation this morning even though it was SEVEN, which should be a perfectly respectable time to get up. (Holy moly, you get up at 5:30?) We’ve put off having the same conversation with the baybeee because I think it will go even less well.
There’s NOTHING worse than a dream featuring Hugh Laurie, being disturbed.
And here I thought that I was the only one who had dreams about him.
for what it is worth… and don’t hate me… i really like the morningstar veggie bacon. which, i am pretty sure you bacon-lovers will think i’ve just suggested chomping a handful of bacon bits. but. try it! only 30 calories a slice. maybe it’ll at least be something.
p.s. i want to sleep with hugh laurie. i’m in sick sick love with gregory house too.
Mmmmm . . . bacon . . .
It’s killing me. KILLING ME. As if I wasn’t already ready for a nap and second lunch by noon, I’m not functional at all right now.
I’m going to turn on all the lights in my house and run every appliance out of spite.
Fantastic! Despite copious amounts of caffeine today, I couldn’t get it together. Then, the drive home was absurdly and mockingly sunny. Because suddenly the time I need to go to bed (so I appear to have at least half an idea what is going on) is still light. And as I sit in front of a goddamn computer all day, it makes not one tinsy bit of difference in my energy consumption. Daylight savings can bite me. Cause our little friend just had to make his mark on the nation and the damn war wasn’t enough. I am full of hate.
Mmmmm…Hugh Laurie….
I’m ready to kill myself. I woke up at 5:40 this morning with a 2-year-old. Okay, it was 6:40 but that’s still an ungodly hour for anyone and really, at 2 one should know better the proper time to get up. 10. Dammit to hell I can’t write when I’m tired. I’ve missed your blog. I need to check it waaay more often.
Ah, House lovers. I totally understand your distain for Ben Franklin this week. Sheesh. What kind of stupid idea is this? What I want to know is, did he think up Daylight Savings Time (what a crock - we’re not saving anything) before or after he electrocuted himself discovering electricity?
We still have the switch daylight savings time ahead of us. They don’t change the start and end dates over here every year. How many computer systems are struggling to cope with that, I wonder?
Seriously, every time change pretty much wipes me out for weeks. I keep one clock in the house on the “right” time so I can remind myself why I feel like crap. It should be illegal to switch times when we’re still on short days.
Bacon AND Hugh Laurie? YUM, on many different levels.
Also, I agree with everything the previous Amanda said, which is mad creepy. Morningstar Farms fake bacon is what makes my life as a vegetarian bearable. (I won’t comment on its likeness to actual bacon, because after ten years sans bacon I fully admit that my concept of what bacon tastes like is probably inaccurate.)
I’m with you. I don’t get up as early as you do, thank goodness. But I was getting up around 6:45 and it was nice and light. Now it is dark. This makes it impossible for me to get out of bed. While I like the light after work I am not happy with this morning problem!