HaHA! I am actually posting my wedding update ON TIME. Take that, dastardly procrastination! Of course, some might argue that writing this entry—instead of working on my final presentation for school—itself constitutes procrastination, but those people would be immediately overruled and taken from the courtroom in shackles.
So. I just finished booking our honeymoon, and I am nearly panting with excitement. We get married on a Saturday, and spend the night in the fancy hotel across from the venue. On Sunday, friends are throwing us a brunch-y party, and then we leave for this place, where we will stay until Wednesday. At least that is the stated plan. I am fairly certain that the Actually will have to drag me from the grounds of the spa (Heated outdoor infinity pool! King-sized feather bed!) as I thrash and wail in protest, but yes, we are “scheduled” to “checkout” on “Wednesday.” We will be staying in a Shaanta suite, on which we got a deal so spectacularly unbelievable that I fight the urge to share the details with telemarketers, cashiers, and passers-by. But fight the urge I must, because if I told people they would all rush out and make reservations, and ruin our quiet, peaceful honeymoon by swarming around me to wash my feet in scented oil and murmur their thanks. Of course, I will have to purchase a swimming suit, which is something I have not done since the scale first tipped 100, but that is a small price to pay. Well, a medium-sized price. I used to wear only bikinis, because one piece suits made me look like a malnourished ten-year-old, but now I am not certain that it would be in anyone’s best interest for me to display my midsection. I suppose I will have to go somewhere to try them on, preferably fortified with a stiff drink beforehand. But there is plenty of time for all that.
…Only there isn’t because I am getting married eight weeks from Saturday.
This weekend is my bridal shower in Iowa, hosted by my Nearly Sister-In-Law and Nearly Grandmother-In-Law. I am excited for the actual shower, which will be on Saturday morning, but I have managed to work myself into a panicky lather about Friday night. Friday night, you see, is The Surprise. Don’t ask me what it is, because I don’t know—hence the name. What I do know is that my Nearly Mother-In-Law, the planner of The Surprise, is very excited about it, whatever it is, and I have been instructed to wear comfortable clothes and shoes. This last makes me concerned that there may be some sort of physical—and thus, public humiliation—aspect to The Surprise. I suppose you will just have to wait until I get back to find out. Hey! It’s a surprise for you too!
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
That honeymoon locale looks AMAZING. Except I am a bit disappointed that there is no in-room, gigantic champagne glass jacuzzi. What’s a honeymoon without a good soak in oversized barware? A TRAVESTY, that’s what. There’s still time to reconsider…
I’m going to go ahead and assume that it would be completely and totally inappropriate for me to come with you on your honeymoon. I mean, unless you say it’s okay, and I’d really like you to say it’s okay, because I WANT A PURIFYING BATH RITUAL.
If they ask you to go snipe hunting or cow-tipping STAY HOME. Trust me.
Your honeymoon looks divine! May I come? Only kidding (kind of.)
Dear Alexa, wow, that place looks amazing! Checkout, pshaw.
And I can’t believe you’re getting married in eight weeks already, and that your shower is so soon! I hope the surprise is a lovely one.
If The Suprise is bad enough for you to call off the wedding (and it’s sounding like it might be that bad), can I go on your honeymoon with you?
Oh, that looks like an amazing honeymoon! I’m sitting here drooling over your bathtub.
Is it too out of line to say that I can’t see a grandmother planning a physical activity as a surprise? The NGMIL may be different, but mine is more into you know, shopping and watching tv. Hopefully it will be a Good Surprise and not a bad one.
Someone is honeymooning an hour from my house!
Do they still do that thing where you stand outside the newlyweds’ windows and yell and bang pans really loud like they did in “Oklahoma!”?
8 weeks!! The honeymoon sounds amazing. And I am very interested to hear about the “Surprise”.
Not be rude, but if The Surprise features you wearing a crude, handmade veil (or perhaps a sash of some sort) and drinking out of a large, penis-shaped water bottle, do you promise to post the photos?
:-)
Somehow I didn’t realize the wedding date was so close. I was thinking summer for some reason. Holy crap you are much calmer than I would be!
And the spa looks amazing. Will you be taking pictures of yourself carrying one of those large pottery bowls whose purpose is ambiguous to me, while wearing the plush spa robe? I hope so.