Work continues to suck the very life out of me. I was in the office this past SUNDAY, and if you think Mondays are unpleasant under normal circumstances, try coming in to work at 6:30 on a Monday morning when you were there less than 24 hours earlier AND took work home AND know you will be working overtime every day of the upcoming week. It does not make for a cheerful demeanor, let me tell you. What it makes for, actually, is a Monday evening wherein you return home and slump exhausted into bed at 7:15.
Obviously, we did not make our deadline. Thus the overtime continues until our new deadline of next Monday, for all of us save a certain attorney who left today on his umpteenth vacation, leaving me to beat myself about the head with the Rules of Criminal Procedure and grind my teeth into wee calcified mesas while trying to decipher his inscrutable notes. BON VOYAGE!!
Making work rather more filled with intrigue and subterfuge than usual is my continued refusal to announce my pregnancy to my team, despite the fact that I am now wearing only maternity clothes and am obviously either gestating or about to be a guest on one of those Discovery Health Channel “30 POUND TUMOR!!” programs. One of my teammates actually asked the dreaded question last week—while patting her own stomach and smiling benevolently—and I responded with a hearty “NO!” accompanied by much head-shaking and sweater tugging, causing the poor woman to look mortified and stammer out apologies as I scuttled back to my desk. Eventually I realized that it would be cruel to let her embarrassment continue, and wrote her an email explaining the situation and requesting she not spread the news. She is happy to keep my secret, but it is getting a bit ridiculous. I am determined to wait until Tuesday, at which point (assuming the previous day’s Nuchal Translucency ultrasound went well) I will Reveal All at my team meeting. And then retire to the bathroom for a bit of terrified retching.
I am supposed to be working right now—I brought two volumes home to review, and yet have done nothing except write this entry and contemplate spelling out “I QUIT” in page flags on my office floor tomorrow morning. This is the sort of evening that would be improved immeasurably by a martini. I would have a virgin martini, but alas, a virgin martini is merely an olive.
I have taken to ordering a Shirley Temple when I am out to dinner, and recently had a waitress laugh at loud at me for doing so. I asked icily for extra cherries and then gave her a stony look until she hied herself back to the bar to fetch my mocktail. There aren’t a lot of festive drink options for the pregnant. Tonight I am having a root beer float, which is almost better than a drink, seeing as how it has ice cream in it. Still, I can’t lie: coming home after a long day, loosening your metaphorical tie, and pouring yourself a stiff root beer float lacks a certain something. And that something would be gin.
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
ooooohhhh you make me laugh. you are hilarious. i heart alexa.
and if you want me to freelance on those pocket parts, i am desperate for some extra cash!
I don’t know how you are working so much. I could not stay awake during the first trimester.
I am hoping that this project is over soon so you can have some major rest!
Loving NaBloPoMo.
Pink lemonade with salt around the rim is a great virgin drink for a gestating mother of twins. Best accompanied by some variety of corn chip and guacamole. Glad you’re NaBloPoMoing it again!
Ah well, I have the advantage of NOT being pregnant. May I have that martini?
Alright, you can *keep* the olive :)
J
A local restaurant here has a rumdinger rootbeer float, but I haven’t tried it yet… It sounds lovely and I LOVE rootbeer floats.
I was still slightly Mormon when I was pregnant, so I hadn’t tried the good stuff yet. I would surely miss it now though!
Cheers!
(finally delurking :)
mmmm, gin.
You’re dying for a martini, I’m dying for a White Russian. But I’d take the martini, don’t get me wrong.
If it makes you feel any better, Sarge LOVES shirley temples and orders them whenever we go to Friendly’s. And gets laughed at every single time. So you? Are not alone!
I have missed yours posts!! I am so glad you are able to post again.
O’Douls is a nice option too, especially if it’s summer and you’re in the mood for a cold one. Nerdiness-wise, it’s equal to a Shirley Temple I’d say.
I’m told non-alcoholic beer is actually pretty good (you know, compared to no beer at all). I just couldn’t do fake alcohol myself. Though when I was pregnant I confined myself to the occasional sip of red wine and sniffing my husband’s Scotch longingly.
Maybe a glass of Bloody Mary mix? I don’t know…
I’d kill for a margarita, a Kahlua and cream or a Cosmocello (cosmo w/ limoncello in it, essentially), but I occasionally make due with a a glass of chilled Jose Cuervo Marg Mix (the best for flavor IMO if you can’t add anything but ice). Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But I always have it in the fun/pretty cocktail glass because that somehow makes it seems slightly better.
I opted for virgin bloody mary’s while pregnant. And it has the added benefit of being part drink and part meal, if you get them in the right place.
Sparkling water with a twist of lime, was also surprisingly satisfying.
Root beer floats also lack scotch, which is my favorite. Also, hi! Coming out of lurkdom.
Kymmi’s advice of sparkling water and lime tastes lovely, and I’ve found tastes even more like an actual cocktail when you add a bit of Rose’s Lime Juice. Also, sparkling water + OJ = faux mimosa.
And, if you get peppermint hot cocoa, you can pretend there’s peppermint schnapps in it.
I, unfortunately, do not have a mocktail suggestion for you. I will gladly have a glass or two of wine in your honor tonight, though. :-)
And I might have to eventually plagerize your “I QUIT” idea. That would be the prefect ending to my hellish employment! Hahahaha!
I hope things do not end with retching next week. Good luck with the NT!
As a fellow gin lover, I’d drink tonic and lime, which was only so-so, but what are you gonna do, other than stare at the olive in the otherwise empty martini glass?
Good Luck!
Ahhh…gin. And scotch. And… let’s just leave it at that, shall we?
I second all the mocktail suggestions, especially the sparkling water and lime – in a highball. :) Also, if you like pomegranate juice, add that to orange juice and sparkling water. Nummers. (Though rather fruity, for those of us of the gin persuasion.)
Happy belated birthday!
Good luck telling your coworkers next week…I’m sure it will all go over very well.
Looking forward to seeing more posts! I loves me yer blog :)
I want nothing more than to sit down and eat tuna wrapped in luncheon meat while sipping wine with an esspresso chaser.
And I don’t know if this happens to you, but every time I go out with non-pregnant people the waitstaff walk to the table, stand before me smiling while holding (insert alcoholic drink) and say, “And is this yours?” I fight the urge to have the spirit of Roseanne Barr take over and give them a piece of my resentful mind, then I get a little flutter and all is well again.
Here’s to spirited sips in ’08 with the gentle tinkling of baby coos nearby.
You are too funny Alexa.
I hope that this project ends soon for you. You need to relax lady! :-)
Vodka girl, myself. Neat. But I’ve been trying out booze substitutes for when I get knocked up (a girl’s got to be prepared) and I find soda with a splash of cranberry juice and slice of lime the least humiliating thing to order at a bar.
I gave up drinking for health reasons a couple of years ago and it took me until this summer to rediscover nonalcoholic beer. I found that Beck’s and St. Pauli Girl make surprisingly good fake beer. Of course, some pregnant women won’t even drink fake beer for fear of the tiny residual amount of alcohol that might possibly be in it. But I personally feel that fear is ungrounded. If you are willing to try fake beer, I highly recommend those two brands.
Electriclady, I totally identify with the sniffing thing. I am always asking to smell my husband’s wine or whatever. I’ve gotten quite good at identifying what kind of wine it is without even knowing! And I once identified a single-malt scotch as Laphroig just from the smell. I’m getting good!
Early in this pregnancy, I was pretty desperate for a drink (any drink).
My husband invented the Suburban for me. It is a fake-cosmopolitan and it is pretty lovely.
At a bar you just ask for seltzer, cranberry juice and a splash of OJ in a martini class. Looks like the real thing, tastes yummy. Perfect.
And now that we have gotten lazy, an ODouls when everyone else gets a beer. Acceptable alternative.
I used to drink club soda with a splash of cranberry and a squeeze of lime. Refreshing and if served in a highball glass, makes you feel like you’re enjoying an adult beverage.