Placeholder.
Things are going well, but for some reason I have been afraid to post and say so. I do realize how ridiculous this sounds, but it seems as if every time I write an entry saying that all is well, some fresh hell descends upon me. I am not a particularly superstitious person under normal circumstances, but of course these are not normal circumstances, and logic takes a holiday. I certainly didn’t mean to worry you all, or cause a kerfluffle. There is still no wireless, which is another reason for my relative silence, and the source of much woe around here. I can get Internet access for a few minutes a day with the laptop against the window, but it is both awkward and unreliable.
Today I am feeling rather contract-y, but I am still pregnant and infection free. They are not giving me anything to stop contractions, as it has been decided that if I go into labor there is probably a good reason for it. My peris seem to know what they are talking about, but it does make the nerves sing to wonder with every contraction whether I will be delivering that day.
To distract myself I am attempting for the three-hundredth time to learn Photoshop, and as usual, failing spectacularly. If I can get online this week I may endeavor to redesign my site, which is always an iffy proposition when you possess no technical skills, so if things start disappearing and changing color, don’t be alarmed. It beats calling funeral homes, which is what I am supposed to be doing.
Thank you all for checking up on me. I will try to get this uploaded now, and write more tomorrow.
25 weeks yesterday…
108 Comments
It’s very understandable that you’ve been quiet lately. We’re all still here sending positive thoughts your way.
Thanks for the update. Hoping you stay well, and pregnant. Fingers crossed for you all.
So happy to hear that you and Simone are still hanging in there. You are in my thoughts.
Thank you for the update. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Get on the phone and get SOMEONE ELSE to call the funeral homes. You need to be occupied with other distractions involving People Magazine, cookies, and pipe cleaners. Happy to hear from you - will continue to think no news is, um, ok and jinx-free news. As always, still thinking of you.
So happy for the good update! I hought of you when I read this article yesterday:
“Epsom salts may protect preemies:
Doctors can cut the risk of cerebral palsy in half for very premature babies by giving their mothers magnesium sulfate just before they give birth, researchers reported this week at a meeting of the Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine in Dallas.
The mineral compound, also known as Epsom salts, is already used to treat pregnancy-related high blood pressure and to stop early labor. Doctors should consider giving it to women about to deliver an extremely preterm infant, said one of the researchers, Dr. John Thorp of the University of North Carolina.
Thorp said it wasn’t clear how magnesium sulfate works, but it was thought to open up blood vessels in the newborn’s brain.”
Even though they aren’t going to give you anything to halt the labor, are they considering this? I know you would LOVE more of that mag…
Continued best wishes for you both!
Calling funeral homes? Criminy! It seems like someone could do that for you.
LOVE TO HEAR THIS!!! I have been checking your blog every hour for an update and this is just such good news. I will celebrate it tonight!
Thanks for the update…you have been in my thoughts so much the last few days. Glad things are going fairly well.
And yeah, put someone else in charge of calling funeral homes, you need some dvd’s and trashy magazines
Dear Alexa, it is good to hear from you, and to know that things are OK right now. I can so imagine what you mean when you write about singing nerves, though. I hope you are managing to hang in there without losing your mind. I’m sure the wireless problems don’t help at all.
Twenty-five weeks sounds good. Keep it up, little Simone, just keep keeping it up, just like your brave mother.
And now that you say it, Photoshop does beat calling funeral homes. Hands-down. Much love to you.
So very glad to hear you are doing OK. Fingers are crossed!!
Thank you for the update.
Every day, every hour longer is a good thing.
Hope (very fervently) that things continue to go well.
not silly AT ALL. of course you’d be nervous to say so… you’ve been through hell.
not to overwhelm you with scary info or information you probably have already, NPR did a brief story on how magnesium sulfate, given during delivery of premature babies, decreases the chance of developing cerebral palsy by 50%. something worth mentioning? i’m relatively sure the study came out of UNC…
oh! here it is… http://uncnews.unc.edu/news/health-and-medicine/magnesium-sulfate-infusions-reduce-cerebral-palsy-risk-in-preterm-births.html
much love, continued hope and peace and progress wished upon you.
ignore me! cari beat me to the same information. listen to her.
I am so happy to see an update- and a positive one at that!
Keep hanging in there little Simone-your never gonna be as well taken care of as you are right now. Enjoy the womb while it lasts!
so very happy to hear things are holding.
keeping you all in my thoughts.
Been thinking about you so much, so glad you are 25 weeks!!! Each day means so much, hooray for you all, and stay put Simone, you have lots of love already, there’s no hurry to see the outside quite yet.
Yay for good things! Hope all continues to go well!
Thinking of you every day.
I’m here, I’m checking, and I’m praying (which is saying a lot).
Learning Photoshop is a great distraction for you, and I will literally be praying for you each and every day.
Lots of love to you and yours today and every day.
Checking back a few times a day to see how you’re doing. Lots of good vibes coming your way for you and Simone!
Delighted that you and Simone are well! You’re in my thoughts daily.
I’m so happy to have the “placeholder.” I’m even more thrilled that you and Simone are doing well. I’ll continue to keep various appendages crossed.
I’m trying to deal with my stress by taking up knitting again. I’ve done this off-and-on for 20(!) years. I still can barely knit the world’s simplest sweater. I mention this only because this could be the back-up plan if Photoshop doesn’t work out. And it’s decidedly low tech. Anyone (except me) seems to be able to knit quite easily.
Also, having just gone through calling funeral homes I would echo others’ comments. Get someone else to do it. And, they’re always available. Even on New Year’s Day. They’re very used to last-minute calls so only call when you’re ready to do so.
Everytime I check your blog I hold my breath and close my eyes waiting to see what will come up. I will continue sending thoughts and prayers your way.
Thankyou so much for the update, I have been thinking about you.
Calling funeral homes? Can’t you have someone else do that?
Thinking of you, Scott and Simone. I’m so glad to hear all is well.
Kerfluffle is not a word you hear every day. I like it!
so relieved to read you and the baby are doing fine. Thinking of you. Take care
Glad to hear from you. Every extra day is a good one! Thinking of you all the time!
I know every circumstance is different, but here is a link to a blog you might find helpful and a source of hope….This woman has Cystic Fibrosis and became pregnant and her baby was born when she was only 24 weeks pregnant. The baby girl weighed only 1 lb 5 oz but is doing remarkably well. She is now over 3 weeks old and has no major complications. I know you have limited internet access, but thought you would find this story inspiring…http://cfhusband.blogspot.com
I’m so glad to hear an update that doesn’t make my stomach lurch. 25 weeks is a hell of a lot better than 24 weeks and 25w1d is even better than that.
Thinking of you all, as always.
I’m thinking of you, too.
Glad to hear things are stable. Only have to squeak past one day at a time. Hang in there.
Keep it going, keep it going! You’re doing great, I hope you perk along with no drama for a long time. Hope you somehow get wireless, too!
That you have made it through this week is impressive. I do hope it will be the first of many, and that each will become less grueling than this first (such) one has been.
I’m with the others on the funeral homes, and if anyone in any official position in the hospital is suggesting this as an activity you pursue, I think they should lose their job. Sounds to me like the LAST thing you should be doing and an excellent thing for someone else to do for you — or, as MJ said, to leave to the last minute (though I regret that I may have heard that some funeral homes are less, um, adept at dealing with pre-natal loss than with, you know, adults, so while MJ’s point is a good one it may, unfortunately, be the case that you still need to connect with the right home to get the services you want for Ames, whatever they be. That said, again, surely this is a task best handed to someone else — even, say, a grief counselor.).
Will continue to think of you and to hope constantly for good things for you and for Simone. And I would guess I speak for all the Internets when I say that updates, while always appreciated, are never expected. I think we get that you are doing your best in a horrifically difficult situation and that we are, appropriately, not a priority. I mean that; Simone is, you are, we aren’t, that’s as it should be.
25 weeks! GO GO GO SIMONE! So glad you updated Alexa. I think about you so often. It’s kinda crazy how much I think about you since I don’t even know you! But I do.
Totally understandable that you don’t want to update. Just pop in every day and tell us what you ate for lunch if you want!
…and holding. Holding. I like that much better than “doing okay”, because you’re absolutely right. To say you’re “okay” is to tempt the universe.
Holding is good. Holding steady. Holding on to hope, and to everything in the future that can (and should, dammit) be ordinary, and run-of-the-mill, because at this point, ‘ordinary’ is golden.
The only other things you should be holding onto are your laptop, celebrity gossip and food smuggled in from the outside (anything that does not involve bologne from the hospital crapeteria). NOT the phone, missy. NOT the phone.
Love and hope and sticky, non-contracting vibrations to you tonight…
Thank you for updating- I was very worried. Maybe you can just post every other day or so and just say “status quo”?
Keep on growing Simone- we’re rooting for you!!
Oh, my dear girl–what a tumultous time. You and your family have been in my thoughts much of late, and I’m sending all my very best thoughts your way. Much love to you all!
Just a reminder that you’re in my thoughts.
I’m so thrilled to hear that Simone is in there, and holding!
Still sending you all my best hopes for strength and serenity and lots of much-overdue good luck.
Thanks for the update! I know it isn’t easy.
25 weeks is great! Just stay put, Simone; you can do it! Alexa you are being marvelous. I am so impressed with you, more than ever.
xo
Twenty five weeks yesterday. Oh my!
So glad things are a little calmer. Don’t post if you think you may irk the gods, but I was delighted to hear from you nonetheless.
We, your devoted readers, are willing you to go for the long haul. Not some piddly Cessna-type flight, but a good old-fashioned long-haul trip - to the stars. We can occupy ourselves eating the little packets of peanuts and reading the inflight magazine (and then translating it into Serbo-Croat if need be) while Simone gets on with growing and you get on with staying strong.
This tortuous analogy (which is rapidly imploding upon itself) is a way of saying we’re here and all we want is for time to pass slowly and productively until the wonderful day when you arrive at your destination. This is not to forget Ames. He is with you all of the way.
Much love.
I am so happy to find out that no new was good news. So proud of baby Simone for staying put and hope and pray she’ll stay that way for many more weeks.
Just glad things are still good and baby Simone still in the oven.
Don’t think you silly, a friend prayed for the 1st time in a long time and her son died in utero the next day, (21 weeks) she is too afraid to pray since and that was 4 years ago. No logic in emotion!
no worries; you don’t owe us anything! I check back often and I’m so pleased to see this update, but it’s totally fine and understandable that you’d be reluctant/finding it difficult to post for a host of reasons. Just keep taking care…
Hooray! Fabulous lack of news. If you feel you are temptimg fate to update - stop! I believe very strongly in magical thinking, because what we believe has a basis in soemthing, if only in belief - so follow your heart. If you take up knitting I can send lots of stuff - and if you change your mind and want mail I have postcards galore just waiting to be written on. Be calm.
Whether you post or not, we will still be here hoping and praying; necessary or not. It might help us to hear from you, but it helps us more if you are just keeping Simone safe and tight for as long as is possible. Just know, deep in you heart, that we here way over sorta close to where McGleamy lives are so loving you and yours in our minds. God bless and KEEP ‘ER IN!!! At least as long as possible, lol
Fantastic to hear that simone is still cooking away. I’m a bit nervous, though, that your docs aren’t doing anything to stop labour. Why no terbutaline? Why no antibiotics? Lots of people go into labour early but get help to keep the babies in there..seems it would be worth a try??
Yay for 25 weeks! I’m so happy to hear the update, although I was of the no news is good news camp and am still keeping you all in my thoughts. Here’s to another week!
So glad to hear you are in a holding pattern. That’s perfect.
I agree too. Put off the phone calls or transfer the job. At least until you are ready.
Good luck with Photoshop! I wish I had the software to play too. Thinking good thoughts still and from here out.
Good. Thanks for the update.
Glad to hear that you and S are hanging in there. I hope things stay quiet for a while.
Definitely throw some Photoshop questions at us, if you’re looking for a distraction!
Phew!
So glad to get an update from you. I’ll keep thinking of you, and knowing that every moment with her inside is a good one.
Don’t worry about us, just take care of yourself and your baby! (and post one word every day to let us know you are OK!) Praying for you, your DH, and your kids.
Thank you for the update. I was thinking of you this weekend and will continue to think good thoughts for you and your family.
twenty five weeks! yay!
(but not yet, simone…not yet. listen to your mother.)
one more thing. it’s sad, but i wish i’d had this info before my daughter was stillborn.
http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/start.php
I call ditto on having someone ELSE call the funeral homes. You know one of those folks who’s been asking how they can help? Is there anything they can do? Yeah. They can do this.
Hugs and still keeping all crossable appendages crossed.
Yay for 25 weeks!
I am sorry for everything that you are going through right now and my prayers are with you.
No kidding - logic leaves the building at times like these. I have to get up the nerve to comment so I can imagine how hard it must be to post right now. I think I can speak for everyone that we, your readers, would much rather be in the dark if that’s better for you right now. Post if you want. Post if it helps. We all want what’s best for you and Simone and if that means no updates then great. We’ll be here when you need us. Sending all manner of good vibes your way, Alexa.
Twenty five weeks is fantastic. And every day that passes thereafter. You’re both doing so well, Alexa and Simone!
That’s great that you’ve made it to 25 weeks. I’m praying for all of you. I’m so sorry about Ames… I’m just so sorry.
What you are doing is incredible — I don’t know that I would have the strength.
Keep hanging in there, you’re frequently in my thoughts, and I continue to hope and hope and hope that things go (relatively) smoothly for you.
Thanks for the placeholder, Alexa.
Still praying.
I have been praying for you often. Stay strong!
I’m glad things are going well, for now, and I hope and pray that they will continue to do so.
I echo what everyone else is saying. This is a horrible time for you. I can’t even imagine how stressful. But if you can just make it a few more weeks everything will be fine. So hang on. And if the doctor offers you ambien, take them up on it. Thinking of you like crazy.
I totally know what you mean about not wanting to tempt fate. In Italian there is a concept called ‘Scaramansia’ which has this ‘break a leg’ notion of facing the worst so that you stave it off. Anyway what I mean to say is that this moment you are loving through is something you simply have to inch through any way you can going by instinct. And you have done already so well!!!
Every morning when I wake up here in London, England I brush my teeth then walk to the laptop to check on news from you and Simone. I give updates to my husband and think about how I can give words of encouragement (even if I don’t always post for fear of not providing solace). In a nutshell: You have a network of positive vibrations willing your holding pattern to remain intact shimmering across the globe at all times. Well done to you, Scott and SImone. Lots of love.
25 weeks and 2 days? Buy yourself a brownie, and a muffin for Simone. Or maybe two.
Still doing lots of hoping and crossing of fingers here in London, and sending you all lots of love.
25 weeks hooray - I was the same very superstitous about posting all was okay. Holding you in my thoughts and prayers.
So everyone but me knew about this blog. Sending energy all the way from Nepal for the coming weeks!
Way to go brave and witty Alexa for posting anyway! So glad to hear you & Simone are holding steady despite the wild rollercoaster ride!
I saw Saltines at the grocery store & thought of you ;)
Take care,
Juie
Logic? What do you think you are? A Vulcan?!
I’m no Vulcan either, but I do hope Simone lives long and prospers.
Heh, when you can’t think of the right words, borrow someone elses, right?
I often wish that logic would more often go on holiday, besides, your photo always makes me smile.
Hang in there!
I’ve read your blog for several months now, and you have the prayers of a lurker in Chicago. Stay put, Simone, and be healthy and strong when you arrive on the scene!
So glad you’re hanging in there - 25 weeks! Good news! Continuing to send you all good wishes.
Hoping for you Alexa,
J
Sending positive energy your way constantly, Alexa, Simone, and Scott.
You so deserve the global support you’re getting.
Hang in there. Can I please bring a care package over?
Hi there again. Just thought I would let you know that here in England I was just watching the news and they had a feature on this baby who was born weighing only 1lb a year ago, who is a happy bouncing baby today, with no physical or mental problems of any kind. This baby was born at 24 weeks. Little Simone is streaking past this - almost into her 26th week! See link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=512227&in_page_id=1879&ICO=FEMAIL&ICL=TOPART
Every day the holding pattern continues the stronger she is, and she ALREADY is and has shown herself to be! GO Simone!
Thinking of you both and wishing you the best!
I found your site last week and just finished reading your archives - I’ll have you know I laughed until I lost control of my bladder so many times it almost ceased being comical. You are a gifted writer Alexa, and your ability to get to the truth of the matter will serve you well when Simone is a teenager trying your sanity - but after all you’ve been through, her teenage years will be a piece of cake! I can’t imagine the things that used to stress you out will be a problem either. It’s so odd to care so much for a family you’ve never met, but I do, and am sending you much love and hope.
I am HOLDING onto hope for you.
…and hoping they have REALLY REALLY good mac and cheese in that hospital!
Simone, wait for spring…you won’t be disappointed. Spring birthdays are so much more dignified than February birthdays. Trust me. My birthday was February 4. April 4 has so much more possibility! Hold on, sweet baby.
Thinking of you.
Just checking in to say hello and that I am thinking of you. I hope all is well!
xo
Just wanting you to know I check-in on you daily! Hoping you and Simone are hanging in there!
We have not gone anywhere, and we won’t.
Hugs.
A local girl here — pulling for you both — and checking your blog repeatedly.
I’m sending a LOT of good thoughts your way.
Pam
I’m still praying for you and Simone.
Just wanted to stop by and let you know I’m thinking of you all.
Checking in often (almost stalker like) to see how you are doing. Praying that Simone hangs in there a bit longer. All that you have been through is enough to make a mere mortal fall apart, but you are obviously more than that. Ya’ll are in my thoughts.
I’m a stalker, too, hoping from the East Coast that Simone is almost 26 weeks now.
I, too, am checking in often and holding you and yours in my thoughts and prayers….
Checking in again. Still with appendages crossed.
Glad that I’m not the only stalker. I feel (slightly) less weird. Like Liz, I’m keeping all appendages crossed.
I’m glad I’m not the only one checking everyday….waiting for a positive update on Simone and Mom! Prayers to you guys from Southern California.
Count me in as a frequent checker-inner/stalker. I hope that you’re just resting up and that Simone is getting nice and comfy in there… Peace.
Whew. Now I don’t feel so bad for checking in here 578445783 times per day.
Hoping for the best.
Another stranger thinking about you often. I often refresh my feed hoping for some good news from you…
Ditto what the above commenters said. Check here every day for news and hoping hard that you and Simone are hanging in there.
Internet stalkers unite!
Seriously, we’re all pulling for you. Stay well.
I am also checking in on you 20 times a day. Hope everything is well.
I hope that no news is good news.
Hope things are still going well, and thinking of you. Best of luck with Photoshop.
I’ll just echo what everybody else who checked in today is saying…
am sending heaps of good wishes, too.
I’m praying that no news is good news and everything is still going ok with you and Simone.
Patti
pregnant w/IVF baby
20 weeks
I’m thinking you’re so quiet because you’re still stuck in the room with no wireless except by the window - which is a very good thing (though doubtless boring).
Thinking of you.
We’re all pulling for you…thinking of you…I hope you’re in the good, calm kind of quiet.