(7 spells of severe apnea) + (1 manual bagging) + (1 return from minimal O2 to High Flow) + (1 failed bladder tap) + (1 catheterization) + (1 blown IV) + (1 successful IV) + (1 blood culture) + (1 elevated CRP) + (1 dive off the preemie growth chart) + (2 mentions of “tracheostomy”) + (1 mention of “bronchoscopy”) + (1 mention of “g-tube”) + (1 dose of morphine) + (1 blue baby) + (3 doses of Narcan) + {1 oxygen tube accidentally disconnected during spinal prep and unnoticed until + (>toomany deep desaturations + >toomany minutes) later} + (1 lumbar puncture) = Thursday.
Morning.
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Holy god. Someone get this woman a strong drink.
C’mon little Simone! Don’t be giving your mama heart attacks like that!
Oh boy – what a day. Many good wishes for a way way way better Friday.
Get BETTER kisses (and prayers) for Simone. Hugs for her poor surely beyond frazzled mommy.
Well crap!
Oh dear. Best best wishes for all of you, parents and baby.
Thank you for updating us, Alexa. Do you know how much the Internet aunties wait for news about your little girl’s wellbeing?
I hope this was the last time the rollercoaster took you down… tand that from now on, everything will go uneventfully fine for you and your family! You deserve it.
And I thought my day sucked. Poor baby. I’ll keep praying for you guys.
Aw, SHIT.
I’m thinking of you guys.
That is definitely a horrible day. But little Simone (and her long suffering parents) are in my thoughts!
Oh hell. Hope this is the last little hiccup in the road home.
Sending healing wishes to lovely Simone.
Good Grief!!
I HATE that about the NICU. Once you feel like you have finally gotten your bearings and the rug is pulled out from under you once again.
Praying for your family,
Erin
Hoping that rug remains firmly under your feet from now on.
You know, I just made a poster about 3 weeks ago promoting the March of Dimes March for Babies event, to encourage our coworkers to sponsor another coworker of ours who will be participating. I thought if some people around there realized that several of us at work have babies who once spent time in the NICU and are now big, healthy, happy miracles, they might be motivated to donate. That’s when I found out that a couple of my coworkers are actually offended by the poster, because they heard that the March of Dimes does animal testing. I was shocked–to think that a person could bag on the March of Dimes for any reason, after all the work it does for babies every day…I was flabbergasted. When I think about what Simone is going through today, it makes me madder. I wish my stupid coworkers could spend a day in the NICU with you, watching what she goes through in her fight to survive. Then I wish I could shove a test tube up their hindquarters.
Preemies are great at that–sailing along for a couple of days nicely and then scaring the shit out of everyone. Hmm … that’s probably not very consoling, but I assure you it is very normal. She sounds like she’s doing great in general. I really think so. XOXO
I just can’t believe Simone (and you!) …. has to go through so much.
I think about her a lot, wishing, willing and praying her along.
Hugs to you Alexa. You will be needing those crib sheets soon. xoxoxo
Thinking of you, hoping this day sucks less with each passing hour.
Oh, man. You don’t need or deserve any of this, honey. I will be keeping you, Scott and your sweet baby girl aloft with my strongest and bestest mental vibes (sort of like how I keep planes aloft when I am flying on them — and thus far, it’s worked).
The strong healing prayers have not wavered and will continue. That is some damned scary shit. I wish I knew what to say. How about: Hang in there. You are tough and Simone is tough.
Keep your head up, Simone!
Awwwww shit. C’mon Simone, Buck Up. Life outside the NICU ain’t so bad. Tubes are so last year. Hang in there, kiddo.
Are you getting nauseated while on your own personal roller coaster yet?
Well, FUCK!!!
So sorry things took a dive!
May you be comforted in remembering how many times this little wonder of wonders has bounced right back from previous dives – something she is destined to do this time as well.
Hang in there, dear mom and dad.
Stay strong, all of you. After his first 4 weeks in the NICU, I’m watching my healthy 19-month old scale every piece of furniture in sight. Our weeks were nothing compared to what you are going through, but have hope….one day down, one day up…eventually she’ll stay up.
Damn it. Hang in there…all of you.
Oh honey, what a crap day! I’ll be praying for you and your beautiful little girl!
Oh man. Now *that* is a bad day. I’m sorry.
OOF, my heart. Seriously.
All swollen up with hope… just wishing for this to be over already, with Simone in arms, not a single thing attached to her but you.
man – she is going to have a lot of mental/physical problems when she grows up. I sure hope you can deal with that!
Oh, honey. Oh, my. Be strong, Simone!
*Ignoring nasty comment above*
Hopefully the afternoon was less eventful. Crossing fingers and thinking happy thoughts.
Firstly, who in the hell gets off writing THIS to you on your blog? “man – she is going to have a lot of mental/physical problems when she grows up. I sure hope you can deal with that!”.
How hurtful and co-incidentally also full of shit. I don’t believe that any commenter has the knowledge of Simone’s situation or the NICU care, complications and prognostic factors for preemies in general to be making predictions like that. And so rudely. The mind does boggle.
Anyway, nastiness aside, hopefully Simone kicks whatever possible infection is bugging her, soon. Thinking of you all,
J
Shit. Hang on Simone and Alexa, hang on. I know it is hard when you are in the middle of it all. Hell, I know it is hard once you’ve reached the other side. (been there, done that, and probably have ptsd as a result) Please know that Simone is getting the best care possible and that she is such a fighter. This plunge on the roller coaster ride will start to move up again very soon. Until then, hugs and prayers to you and Simone.
Much love.
I’m sending good, healing vibes to Simone. . . some calm, still waters to you and Scott and a hearty eff off to the person who commented about 4 spaces above me.
Oh, hell. That’s a big bag of suck right there.
Here’s hoping things calm down quickly.
Simone is such a strong sweet girl! Sorry she is going through a rough patch.
Crappiest, scariest day ever. Here’s hoping tomorrow is better. And that Simone is better.
Another Jesse commenting, but this one thinks, nay, *knows*, that Simone is going to be just amazing when she is older. One can tell just by looking at her 2-dimensional internet image that she is a smart, kickin little lady.
Oh, gosh. I’m so sorry. I hope all Simone’s steps will carry her forward, not back, from here on.
(And I trust you’ll pay no mind to Jesse, as his post here makes it clear he has mental problems he cannot deal with. Too bad he exposed you to them rather than holding them inside.)
Oh I’m so sorry for all of you. Keep on Truckin’ Simone. You can do it.
Oh baby, don’t do that to yourself, your mommy, your daddy, your doctors, your nurses–or to the rest of the internet. We want you home and healthy, and as soon as possible.
oh my jesus. cheering on all of you, and telling the universe to back off. you all deserve a serious (serious) break.
My heart sinks … but I feel comforted by other posters here, who have experience with tiddler babes and their scary habit of lurching into crisis mode just after their mummies have started to attempt a brief exhalation.
I trust these other mummies, and I trust your strength. I know you only through your words, Alexa, but you are a tough and wonderful woman. You use your words to such effect, you take our common language on such glorious dances and such outlandish adventures, I have NO doubt that you have helped, consoled, inspired and encouraged so many readers. Simone is a tiny girl from tough stock. She has a wonderful, talented mummy.
You gotta gift. And you gotta girl. And we love both.
A small comment to Jesse: Take it somewhere else. Please make a sentence out of the following words: ‘Problem, what, is, your?’
Keep posting, Alexa. Sending you a sackload of good thoughts (with a strong drink sewn into the lining).
My heart sinks … but I feel comforted by other posters here, who have experience with tiddler babes and their scary habit of lurching into crisis mode just after their mummies have started to attempt a brief exhalation.
I trust these other mummies, and I trust your strength. I know you only through your words, Alexa, but you are a tough and wonderful woman. You use your words to such effect, you take our common language on such glorious dances and such outlandish adventures, I have NO doubt that you have helped, consoled, inspired and encouraged so many readers. Simone is a tiny girl from tough stock. She has a wonderful, talented mummy.
You gotta gift. And you gotta girl. And we love both.
A small comment to Jesse: Take it somewhere else. Please make a sentence out of the following words: ‘Problem, what, is, your?’
Keep posting, Alexa. Sending you a sackload of good thoughts (with a strong drink sewn into the lining).
Trouble sending this – hope it reaches you…
oy vey!!! i hope the afternoon was alot less eventful.
Sorry.
oh, I love reading your blog. as a former NICU nurse, you summarize so many things that i was thinking and feeling at the moment (although not as acutely as you!) but could never put into words. reading your blog is a trip down emotional memory lane. your sweet baby is doing so well. hang in there!
Crap. I’m so sorry!
Sorry you and Simone had such a shitty day. No matter how many times they tell you about the NICU rollercoaster (and feel free to slap us when we do), it never makes those bad days any easier. Simone is a tough, spunky little baby. Try to hang in there. She’ll be back on track soon.
holy craziness. that sounds terrible. i am so sorry.
Oh for fuck’s sake. What a horrible day, what a horrible, horrible day. Sending you both light and love and all sorts of good vibes.
Oh, honey.
I kept rereading, thinking “How can this be happening?!” I’m so sorry Alexa. I’m praying for you and Simone.
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