Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Babies*
[SCENE: A lavishly appointed NICU ROOM. NURSE PRACTITIONER—formerly seen in Act I: A Streetcar Named TRACHEOSTOMY—pulls up a chair. ALEXA looks up from LAPTOP, visibly ALARMED.]
NURSE PRACTITIONER: So, I just want to prepare you…
ALEXA’S INNER MONOLOGUE: Oh god, WHAT NOW?
NURSE PRACTITIONER: …for the fact that things may start moving quickly now that Simone is back on the regular cannula. She can be discharged on this oxygen setting, and once she is taking all her feedings by bottle or breast, we will be sending her home.
ALEXA’S NECK: WHIPLASH!
-Fade to black-
[SCENE: A lavishly appointed NICU ROOM. ALEXA is MAKING FACES at the BABY. WOMAN enters.]
WOMAN: Hi! I’m from Discharge Planning. Do you have a few minutes to talk?
ALEXA’S BRAIN: LIQUIFIES, DRIPS OUT RIGHT EAR
It looks like Simone is coming home. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of her life (we may have to negotiate that last part when she reaches college age, but never mind that now).
So, uh, I have a lot of questions. About babies. Because of how I have one. Who will be coming to live with me, at my apartment, where the nurse-to-neonate ratio is suboptimal (0-1). Currently, my knowledge of infants is more or less limited to the following:
1. Generally diminutive in size
2. Fond of milk
3. Exhibit poor impulse control
4. To clean, wipe with damp cloth
5. Should never be thrown out with bathwater
I was initially relieved to see that babies have their own Wikipedia page, but it turns out to be full of helpful tidbits such as “Babies cannot walk” and “Infants’ social presence is different from that of adults, and they may be the focus of attention. Fees for transportation and entrance fees at locations such as amusement parks or museums are often waived.”
While I am certainly pleased to know that I can send Simone out for an afternoon of sightseeing with a minimal amount of cash, I have more pressing concerns. Like the tag that came attached to one of my daughter’s snap-heavy unitards:
PARDON?
Catch FIRE? Are babies flammable? Is this something I need to be watching for, a PLUME OF SMOKE rising from her bassinet?
So yes: I have many questions. I could “read” or “consult experts,” but talking to the Internet has served me so well in the past that I thought I would do that instead. I have a whole slew of things to ask about breastfeeding and reflux and whatnot, but those will be more involved posts later this week (that anyone who is not deeply interested in my nipples may want to skip). For now, I will start with something simple:
MY NEUROSIS, LET ME SHOW U IT
One of the first things we heard when they started transitioning Simone to a crib was that she would need to be bundled up, and could we bring in some of her clothes? “Sure!” I said brightly, surreptitiously writing Buy Baby Clothes on my To Do list. I never had a baby shower, seeing as how I didn’t make it out of the second trimester, and my paranoia did not permit me to buy baby things during pregnancy myself (a good thing, too, or I’d be listing a double stroller on Craigslist right about now). After Simone was born, her health was so tenuous that I was even less inclined to purchase crib bedding I might have to re-tailor into an infant shroud.
But if trained medical professionals needed me to shop for wee bodysuits, well, by golly I would. So I ran out to buy a package of onesies…and staggered into my apartment three hours later with bags hanging from my every appendage, bags containing things like baby Tylenol and tiny socks and a random package of bottles. Perhaps my blood sugar was low, perhaps it was the fine mist of acquisition-promoting chemicals they spray into the air at Target, but once I tossed that first pair of footed pajamas into my cart, there was no stopping me. I was too superstitious to do anything with my freshly acquired loot but shove it into a closet and sneak in to stare at it every once in a while, but it’s a start. I have a Boppy sitting in the NICU. I have the softest stuffed elephant ever made. We even have a crib, an honest-to-goodness crib for a baby.
Besides the aforementioned baby Tylenol I now own a barrel-sized vat of hand-sanitizer, Pampers SENSITIVE! wipes, Johnson & Johnson NO MORE TEARS! baby shampoo, a bulb syringe, two hulking air purifiers, and a baby first aid kit—the only thing missing is the plastic bubble. But I know there is more to stocking a nursery than rectal thermometers and stuffed elephants, soft or not (the elephants, not the thermometers). And it’s confusing: did you know you aren’t supposed to use baby oil or baby powder? I assumed that the “baby” prefix meant they were appropriate for the younger set, but no.
So let’s assume, for a moment, that Simone is going to continue staying alive and eventually come home to the room earmarked for her—what do I need? Rags, obviously, for assorted fluids. Twine to keep her tethered safely in her crib. Anything I am missing? What did you use, and what was a waste of money that could more properly be spent on cheese and gin?
*But Were Too Infertile to Ask
232 Comments
speaking as the mother of two reflux babies: burp cloths. lots and lots of burp cloths. (I liked using the cloth diapers you can buy at Babies R Us or Target: better coverage, high absorbency.)
Lanolin - we use this for everything. Dry skin? Lanolin. Cut? Lanolin. Hurt feelings? Lanolin.
Also - Triple Paste diaper cream. Its expensive (you can get it at Walgreens - about $30 a tub) but definitely worth it (lasts forever). I don’t know about Simone, but my son came home from the NICU with a horrible diaper rash. An alternating mix of (you guessed it) Lanolin and Triple Paste solved it. We use the soft thin wash rags that you find at Target instead of wipes. Less diaper rash that way and then just throw them in the washing machine with your regular detergent and a little bleach.
Some REST for you. I don’t know you (obviously) but you’ve been through a tough time. Bringing home this baby doesn’t make it suddenly okay that you lost your son and then had to watch Simone endure the NICU and all the fear that comes with it. It certainly helps, but (from my own experience) it would not surprise me that you get that beautiful baby home, get something of a routine going and then can’t figure out why you aren’t feeling as happy as you thought you would. Its natural and will get better - but takes time and sometimes a little therapy and/or medication. Be patient with yourself. You’ve been through a lot.
So - my two cents, for what its worth.
Let me preface this with the information that I am a bit of a hippie chick. My rule for baby care was “never put anything on your baby’s skin that you wouldn’t put in your own mouth.” Thus, we used a lot of olive oil for cleansing and moisturizing and soothing. I’m also big on cloth diapers, BUT - I’m not going to have to wash them, so I won’t nag. Even if you decide on disposables, though, you’re going to want some cloth diapers around for puking* When you don’t need them anymore for body fluids, they make great dustrags. Carseat, rear-facing, in the back seat ONLY, I’m sure you have that under control.
*And mommies don’t say “puking”, we say “spitting up.”
2 miracle blankets. For sleep-deprived-idiot-proof swaddling. Swaddling is gold. Pure gold. Miracle blankets aren’t cheap($30 each?), but worth it, so worth it. were impoverished graduate students and thought they were worth it.
A sling of some sort, or a baby bjorn– anything that distributes the weight across your back equally
One of those floor mat things. With the crossbars, and the hanging stuff. My daughter lived under that thing for the first 5 months, doing lots of floor play– kicking, batting, considering her reflection, whispering sweet nothings into Bird’s ear and kicking the shit out of Lion. (floorplay was esp. good as she was 16 weeks early.)
Berts Bees makes good baby products, as does Mustela(esp. the foaming shampoo for cradle cap. not that cheap, but not too bad, and lasts forever). As moisturizer/diaper creme Vaseline seems to work best— have some around in general.
Dye and perfume free detergent, does not have to be pricey Dreft.
Avoid Diaper Genie, etc. Uses obscene amount of excess plastic. Just toss them in kitchen garbage. They’re not toxic.
Avoid “baby bathtub” and take her in with one of you skin to skin– much easier, esp. if other parent assists, much nicer for her. Those bathtubs are awkward and impossible and take up space.
Make sure that hospital discharge deals with the oxygen supply company and that it’s all settled before you leave, and that they include a travel cannister(in a portable pack) so you don’t have to roll a huge tank around when you’re taking Simone out on the town.
Remember, it’s not Noah’s Ark. You won’t be setting sail. You’ll be able to pick stuff up as you need it, and baby stores are not a bad way to get out of the house with a little one.
Also, Alexa, could you shoot me your email address? There’s something I’d like to send you.
apologies if sound like hyperventilating MIL in post above.
Oh Sweet Jesus, I love this post. Now we’re gettin’ somewhere.
Ok, I don’t remember much from those first months home over a year ago. It’s all a sleep-deprived haze. But I DO remember these four things that I couldn’t live without:
Baby Papasan–plush vibrating chair which was the only thing she would sleep in.
Miracle Blanket–swaddling blanket that she couldn’t sleep without.
Hotslings for the tiny baby, and later, the Ergo Carrier for the bigger baby/toddler–the only way I got anything done in the house or went anywhere outside the house. Such a wonderful alternative to that mess they call a stroller.
Love, love, love this good news.
I am so excited for you! For me, though, the waiting time after the discharge word was brought up seemed like forever. I hope it is much quicker for you and Simone!
My son has reflux, so a bouncer was gold for us. He was able to stay upright in the bouncer (and get vibrated, too–he loved being vibrated by that chair) and I was able to get something done during his naps–even nap myself!
We also use/used loads of burp cloths. I have bibs, but don’t like them as well as I like the burp cloths.
I have nothing pertinent, nothing practical and nothing productive to tell you about life with a newbie under your very own roof. Other than that I am still inhaling with the thrill of it all and may soon need medical attention if exhalation does not rapidly approach over the horizon. Simone’s coming home. Your wee Viking’s about to set sail!
I am too ancient a female parent (and too not American) to offer you any useful retail tips re. Walgreen’s wipes etc (tho I could spin you a web of yarns about Boots’s nappy wipes circa 1999 - how very useful, I hear you say). So I am waffling in the wind, so to speak, offering you nothing practical, nothing productive other than my deepest DELIGHT.
Shine on, Simone. To Scott and Alexa, your time has come. You are the most wonderful parents of a most remarkable child.
A few words to Jesse - I am deeply sorry for assumptions I made recently about the reasons for your comments on this blog. If the Internet has told me anything wise, it has made me realise that there are people out there who see how you feel, know how you mourn and hear how you lament your loss.
Please accept my apologies.
….
Meanwhile, oh Viking girl of the unfeasibly lengthy limbs, hoist the mainsail…
Oh! Emm! Gee!
Swaddling, indeed. Instructions on YouTube, but I hihgly recommend Harvey Karp’s book, The Happiest Baby On The Block. HOnest, just go buy it (and the dvd too, if you like). Will save your sanity in a few weeks time.
Home, Simone, home!!
I think you got some excellent advice above. I just want to say how glad I am that Simone is almost home. You are a wonderful parent and I believe as long as you give your child love all else will fall in place.
Congratulations!!
This is fabulous news!
We had a baby in September. Out of all the piles of baby crap, the only items I don’t think I could have lived without are:
1)The Miracle Blanket. I’m like a freaking ad for this thing. As soon as she fell asleep, I’d pop her in, and she’d sleep. And sleep. Beautiful sleep. Also handy for breast feeding. No other swaddling blanket worked for us. We did rolled up receiving blankets on either side of her as a cheap sleep positioner. You can buy actual sleep positioners too.
2)The my brest friend pillow. Evil name, but so much better than the bobby. I don’t know if we would have kept breast feeding without this.
3)Soothing Motions Swing. I have no idea if a swing will be medically possible for Simone, but my baby slept the first four months in her swing.
4)My moby wrap. Hopefully, you’ve already gotten to do some kangaroo care in the hospital. You’ll want to keep doing babywearing at home. We loved the moby and the hotsling pouch. The moby is awesome b/c you can keep her upright and not all crunched up–great for reflux.
5)Gowns. Screw onesies. She lived in the little gowns for the first several weeks at home. So easy for diaper changes. Just bunch them up and pull up from the feet so you don’t have to wrestle with that big baby noggin :)
6) Simone is probably coming home with some sort of monitor right? We have the motion monitor that you can buy, and it’s saved our sanity.
I love The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. It’s still by side of the bed, even now, six months later.
Given I’m still blindly buying stuff without much idea, I think I’ll read the wise advice of the posters above…
J
I second the poster above–rest up.
When we brought our preemie twins home from the hospital, I had the basics like car seats and some onesies, but I think there were a few things that I ended up buying that made the transition to “real baby” status easier. (I say “real baby” as in the baby who is not hooked up to monitors, and fits in regular clothes, and doesn’t have a tube up the nose). My kids weren’t all that tiny, but boy, they seemed impossibly small once we had them in their car seats.
So, in no particular order:
Hats. Lots of little cotton caps for them to wear all the time, even sleeping. (We were told by the NICU folks to do this, but I was nervous about this and discontinued the sleeping w/hat arrangement as soon as they acclimated to our house temperature.) We even doubled up on the little hats.
Really large and thin swaddling blankets. Kooshies makes some nice cotton flannel ones, and the new muslin ones look really nice also. Most swaddling blankets are just too small.
Soft onesies, long-sleeved, no tags. We also got Under the Nile long sleeve jackets that snap–great to layer over onesies, and easy to whip off if the kid spits up (and often, the jacket prevented the liquid from soaking through, so I didn’t have to change ALL the clothes at 3 AM.)
Burp cloths for under the babies head in the crib or co-sleeper. Saves changing sheets, and easy to wash.
For the first few months, that’s what my children wore–hats, onesies, and swaddling blankets. Socks usually fell off, so as long as they were warmly swaddled, they were fine in the above.
Under the Nile also makes some nice preemie clothes. I don’t know how big Simone is, but a 4 pound baby is just too small for newborn clothes for, in our case, a couple of months. And we did a lot of doctor visits and needed some clothes that worked well with the car seat.
A rubbermaid dishpan tub for baths in the sink. My kids got their bath in the tiny tub for weeks–it was just easier to do it that way when they are so small and slippery.
An inexpensive changing table pad thing that can go on a counter next to the sink where you give baby the bath. It worked well for us, and, no walking with aforementioned slippery baby.
Super gentle soap. We rarely used soap, but when we did, we went with unscented, organic, biodynamic, etc. Mustela made all of us break out. Most baby products have too much fragrance added.
A place to put baby when you dare to put her down. Someplace soft and slightly inclined. Amby hammocks look great if you have reflux issues. The baby papasan wasn’t the biggest hit in our house until about 4 months of age. We liked our Chicco loungers as they were pretty flat and easy to move around the house.
A glider. Make sure it’s really comfortable, and has a footrest. We got ours for cheap on Craigslist and I will probably throw it out when we are done.
Cranio-sacral therapy. It was really important to do this with both of our children, for different reasons, and there’s a lot written about this if you look. It cured my daughter’s colic/reflux the same day as the appointment. We were able to toss her medications away the next day. Best 15 minutes of my entire life, and apparently, hers too! It really helped my son’s physical issues also.
Weego carrier. You should read up on carriers and hip and spine development. I like slings but we found the weego to be really secure and cozy and it was the best for long walks and doctor’s visits. (Don’t drag your carseat everywhere with the stroller–it’s the perfect height for snotty children to sneeze on your baby at the doctor’s office and market. We leaned the hard way.)
Have fun–and remember, all she really needs is you & partner. I’m sure you’ll do what we did and sit up watching her breathe for the first 2 weeks, but really, try to take a break and get plenty of rest.
Fantastic news, congratulations!!
I don’t know about you but when we brought home our preemie twins (15 weeks early) in December I was terrified. I don’t know how moms do it without the 4 month long intro to child care we got in the ICU.
While I can’t give any brand names (being that I live in Europe) try for clothing that opens down the front. You can get bodies (onesies?) and babygros that you don’t need to pull over her head and that makes dressing alot easier especially if like us you have a monitor.
I also second the poster/s that said a playmat with dangling attachments-my girls love to play on it still and they are now 8 months old. A sling is also great when she wants attention but you have things that need doing.
Last but not least get plenty of sleep before she comes home- you’ll need it.
I’m so happy and excited about these wonderful news.
(Is there to be no virtual baby shower…? I’d love to send a little something for “our” Simone…. I’m abroad so I can’t do it but please Alexa’s American friends… if there is such a thing pls let also foreigners know.)
I took my preemie home 15 years ago so I’m not the hip up to date insider mom. It’s nice to have a house full of things but don’t fret if you can’t buy it all. The tips above sound very good.
A good carrier and lots of tiny hats and a comfortable swing, yes, I remember I was glad I had them. I used a microwave thingie for sterilizing all those bottles. Don’t know whether they still sell them.
I listened to lots of Mozart (original, not the castrated “baby” versions) and Bach after I took her home. It calmed me and her. But that’s just me, maybe for you something else works. Think of yourself and youngfather too, allow yourself to ask for help, be good to yourself.
You will get used very quickly to her presence at home, believe me, and will soon be the expert mom dishing out advice to others.
I promise.
*tfu tfu tfu* to you!
Remember that in human history of a couple of million years, we only starting accessorizing in the last few thousand. All she absolutely needs is milk and snuggling. That said, a strange percentage of new-baby happiness comes from buying things. I never used many objects my friends said I wouldn’t be able to live without, and other things people said I wouldn’t need turned out to be lifesavers.
You will figure it out, and it will be a blast.
Alexa, I am so pleased for you! I have only just come home from hospital today at 29wks4days pregnant having spent the past 3 days tied to a bed due to preterm “threatened” labour….
Steroid injections - check
Antibiotics - check
Anti contraction patches - check
Ultrasounds - check
Blood tests - check
I am totally exhausted. Thankful that my uterus remins full of a baby who seems set on growing, greatful that I am not now reading your most recent post from an NICU myself, but also EXHAUSTED and more in awe of you than I was before!
I seriously can not begin to tell you just how hard I found the past 3 days in hospital. I really admire that you have survived the months!!
You deserve every little success and I hope that you enjoy the transition from hospital and home as it comes time for Simone to get away from the NICU!
You go girls!
xx Naomi
Discharge planning?! Oh boy, this is soooo cool!
Our son came home at 4lb 12oz with volcanic reflux. I echo Spliz: burp cloths. Can’t have too many of the things! The square acreage of coverage is the important element, because Simone will unerringly aim her regurgitations directly into the only unprotected part of your cleavage.
Our youngster still hasn’t tasted formula milk at 7 months corrected & three solid meals a day. It’s easy-peasy now, but bloody hard endurance work for the first 2 months or so. Simone will have no compunction about demanding that the Mummy milk tanker be available pretty much continuously some nights. Come 4am I used to hit meltdown & despatch husband & child downstairs with some expressed milk & a bottle & instructions to bond quietly!
The fact that our baby was much-longed-for and the end result of a long line of assisted reproductive disasters, meant that I fully expected my patience with him to be boundless, and it surprised me no end when it wasn’t. There were still times when his crying necessitated a swift delivery into the arms of a bleary hubby and an ignominious teary retreat towards the teapot. I was covered in maternal shame & failure: not only had my faulty housing ejected him far too early, I wasn’t any good at mothering either! With the benefit of hindsight - and lots more sleep - all this seems absolutely unremarkable, because babies do push your patience hard!
Simone, however, will commit none of these infant crimes. L’enfant terrible? No no no. Not little Simone. She will be happy & cuddlesome, contented in her fab new nursery. Promise.
My word. We’re not shy about giving advice, are we? Longest posts ever!
A xxx
Not having had a premature infant myself, and my only child now being 33 years old, the only advice I have for a reflux condition is to give Simone a pacifier after feedings. I heard that advice from a pediatric radiologist in my job typing doctor’s reports. The sucking motion of the pacifier somehow calms the reflux some. So, keep those “binkies” on hand. I love and relish all the above information for you from all these wonderful bloggers! Congratulations! :)
Congratulations. What wonderful news. My babies are now 23 and 28 and as a Brit now living in Australia I can’t offer much help with the up-to- date must-haves for the trendy-young-miss-and-her-bodyslave-about-town in the US of A. All I can say is take every bit of help you are offered, forget housework apart from the basics, sleep whenever you get the chance and love that baby girl. I say love because sometimes you are going to find it hard to like her lol! Those times in the wee small hours when nothing works…… You will all survive. Breathing, chocolate, cookies, bourbon all help. For Simone, cuddles, copious quantities of milk and a clean, dry derriere are the most important things.
Enjoy! Keeping us all posted when you get the time would be nice but don’t stress it :-)
Wow! “Discharge” is such a longed for word, but it scared the crap out of me 3 months ago when we were told we could take our preemie twins home. And that was after “only” 5 weeks hospitalization. I can image you feel overjoyed but also a bit overwhelmed at the thought of bringing your beautiful daughter Simone home with you.
Here’s a couple of things I couldn’t live without:
- Screw burpcloths, hello cloth diapers… Even though a regular burpcloth looks huge when held next to a 4 pound preemie’s face (or even it’s whole body), it just doesn’t do the trick…
- A baby carrier/sling. When the world seems just a bit too big for your little girl, it’s the best way to make her feel save. And have your hands free to do things around the house or to keep writing wonderful things about your wonderful girl on this wonderful blog.
- A stroller with carry-cot. If nothing else seems to work, just go for a long walk. Simone will probably fall asleep as soon as you go out the door, and fresh air is good for the both of you. Plus, you are spending time with her in a relaxing way. I always feel refreshed after a good walk, and ready to take on the world again.
- A couple of doors between the nursery and a place in the house where you can take some time off. No matter how much you’ve longed for the day you bring your baby home, there will always be moments when the whole thing seems a bit too much to handle. We’ve waited for this moment for 4 1/2 years. I love every little thing about our twins, every little giggle or cry, and I don’t mind walking around with them 24/7 if they seem to need that. But sometimes I need to just put them away for a little while to calm down and that works better when their cries are muffled by a few closed doors… Or a running shower. Or anything else that works to block out the sound for a couple of minutes. You’ll know soon enough when she really needs to be held and cuddled or when she is just tired from everything that’s happening around her.
- A big dose of self-confidence. Trust yourself! You know best! Even if sometimes you seem to have no idea what to do, it’ll come to you. Just do what feels best. Listen to advice from others, but pick out just those things that work for you and Simone, that feel right. Just nod and smile when you hear advice that makes your toes curl. They mean well, but remember: YOU KNOW BEST!!!
Hope things go smoothly from here on, and that you will soon discover for yourself what things you need and what things have been a waste of money ;-)
My advice would be to always keep some acetominophen (tylenol) suppositories on hand (yes, suppositories). Not for right away, but for when she’s a bit older.
A few times my daughter caught a bug that came with fever and vomiting. We’d give her tylenol to bring the fever down but she’d throw it up. So, dear husband had to run to the store in the wee hours of the morning for a suppository. They work quickly, but only work if you have them on hand!
I remember inserting a suppository at 12:05am on my first Mother’s Day! ;)
Oh wow what wonderful news:
A big huge I second (third?) that re Dr Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block. Saved us.
Also definitely try to get a Miracle Blanket or Swaddle Me if you are planning to swaddle.
A baby monitor saved our sanity and allowed us to sleep a little sounder during the night.
Last thing - I used cotton wool and water instead of baby wipes. I figured that if they are strong enough to take out most stains, they can’t be all that good on little pink parts. Ahem.
I have two kids (2.5 and 1) and have never, ever used a rectal thermometer on them myself. I’m sure assorted medical personnel have, but I haven’t. An axillary reading (under the arm, add one degree - so if it reads 99 the baby’s fever is actually 100) has always been “close enough for government work” around here.
That said, with Simone being a preemie, your doctor may have advised you differently. I just don’t want you to think that it’s necessary to stick things in the baby’s butt unless specifically directed to do so by someone with letters after his or her name.
As far as gear, you might want to get some Mylicon - it’s basically Tums for babies. When they’re crying and gassy and you’ve tried everything else, sometimes a bit of Mylicon helps. My doctor says they don’t do anything, to which I say, “Great, then it doesn’t matter if I use them every day because they’re the only thing that stop the screaming.”
Boy, it’s amazing how fast we forget what it’s like to be home with a newborn. I agree with whoever suggested a sling. I really like my adjustable pouches from http://www.kangarookorner.com, and I’ll bet Simone would like one of the snuggly fleece ones this fall.
I had a lot of breastfeeding issues with my first, so if you go down that road I’ll be happy to help. I think the main thing to remember is that it gets easier as their little mouths get bigger. A lot of the problems I had went away when her mouth got big enough to get a really good latch. So, if you have trouble remember that it will get better.
So excited for you! Congratulations!!
I don’t know anything about babies, just wanted to say congratulations!! So happy for you.
Well I don’t know if I can top up-the-bum tablets, but I’ll try: when Ben was discharged after two months I was still very rattled (from everything, plus the loss of Liam) and what healed both of us was a mai tei carrier, similar to this:
http://www.babyhawk.com/
So very pretty, and I still carry him in it with ease (as opposed to a baby bjorn, which will send you into wracking back spasms within five minutes with any baby over about 6 pounds).
The mai tei was my third trimester. It was baby kryptonite. He was always asleep, always purring, and I adored it.
I’m so thrilled for you (cautious jumping for joy). I could just picture you wandering the aisles, doing simply what you’re supposed to be able to do, just get stuff for your kid. That’s so great. xo
First, you need the ability to take all advice with a grain of salt.
Take what advice suits you and discard everything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
The best things I ever had?
- All in one suits. Amy practically lived in them until she was bigger.
- Plain zinc cream for nappy rash (diaper?). Plain was better for us because it stayed on longer than zinc/castor mixture. Also, zinc cream, or lanolin is great for nipples.
- Boobs. THE must have accessory.
- A nappy bag that you can carry comfortably.
Things I found I DIDN’T need?
Cot sheets. I just used straight sheets from our bed folded over until they were about the right size. I also used to use a bunny rug (not sure what you call them, small baby blanket things?) over the top of the sheet to make cleaning up baby puke easier. Much nicer to just drag off the top blanket and throw it in the wash than to have to change an entire bed.
I didn’t use the gallons of baby oil/lotion/powder that I was given. Baby wipes and a little sorbolene/zinc cream for excema was easier to lug around in a nappy bag.
Something I couldn’t have lived without? SUPPORT. Babies are hard work, breastfeeding and lack of sleep is hard work. Having someone to cry to who ‘got’ it was invaluable.
Like I said, use what you like and ignore the rest. I’m so excited for you.
Well done miss Simone!
Our absolute life saver, and probably one of the best experiences for our babies, have been slings. In Australia we have a ‘hug-a-bub’ - I think you call it a ‘Moby’. Really important to help the baby feel secure, close to you, feeling your heartbeat, reassured by your smell.
Anything on attachment parenting by William Sears is great. A lot about following your instincts, being close to your baby, & recognising the importance of your relationship with your baby. Pretty much it’s about being close to Simone and letting her know that you are there for her.
Our twins have thrived with baby wearing, breast feeding, and once they were a little bit bigger, they have loved co-sleeping.
I could go on and on! We were given a lot of stuff and haven’t really had to buy many clothes. Like someone else here we try not to use too many chemicals on their skin - it’s too sensitive (Johnsons is evil- that’s why it’s no good for babies & they use petro chemicals). We wash their bums with warm water, use lovely German creams with chamomile, organic cotton, and baby sensitive washing powder.
The most important purchase though is the Moby. I wouldn’t go with a Baby Bjorn because she is so little and they don’t offer the same closeness as a sling.
And she’ll need a lovely mobile over the change table! You should have something left over for a gin after all that.
very warm wishes to the three of you,
from
Louise, Molly and our twins Lucie & Joe
Oops - this is the correct address for the blog: badbandicoot.blogspot.com
these are THE BEST swaddling blankets (they’re available at target.com). they’re great because they are big, and although Simone is small now, she will not always be. we have two and I wish I had bought more! GOOD LUCK!
http://www.swaddledesigns.com/
Car seat, diapers, wipes (I always ran them under warm water anyhoo, so I didn’t really care much what flavor they started out as) and enough weather appropriate one-sies that you can nap instead of doing wash when a few are poopy and lying in the corner. Really, that is all. Mom is another story however: gift cert for massage, dark beer (increases milk supply! not to mention relaxation factor), bubble bath, new sheets, new slippers (toss those NICU thiings), Netflix account. I’m sure I’m missing a lot on this part of the list . . . Simone, you rock. Get to the right address, already.
Oh my gosh! I don’t have any children, so no advice, just lots of celebration! I can’t wait to hear that Simone is home and happy and thriving.
May I request photos of some of the wee clothes and cunning little hats? Perhaps Simone could model one or two? I think I would die of glee.
baby nail files. Much easier to file those tiny nails while she sleeps than it is to clip them.
Crib sheets and lots of them. And water proof pads and lots of them. Put the water proof pad on the mattress, cover with a crib sheet. Put on ANOTHER water proof pad, cover with ANOTHER crib sheet. Then, if she dispenses any liquids in the wee hours of the night, you strip off the tops set of sheets and pad, and Voila! bed is still made and you can all go back to sleep without frantic searches through cupboards for sheets.
lots of diaper wipes but don’t waste money on a warmer. Just scrunch the wipe up in your hand for a few seconds if you want to warm it. Me, I wiped my son with cold wipes. Shrug.
Diaper Genie. With lots of refill packages.
50 trillion diapers.
Avoid baby clothes with snaps in the back or with hoods. They look cute but they are a pain in the you know what.
That’s all I can think of right now. Then again, my kid is nearly 7 years old. I’m sure there’s a lot of new necessities on the market that I am not even aware of.
Yay, Simone! You Go Girl!
I’ve got no baby advice. But…but…she’s COMING HOME!!! HOORAY!! This is the happy beginning I’ve been praying for. I’m so glad to see things working out for your little family. Yay you guys!
Never posted here but have been following your saga and sending prayers and well wishes your way. Yay for all of you!
First off — I agree with those that say trust your own instincts. People have SOOOO many strong opinions about everything from clothing to breastfeeding to reflux to colic to bathing to…you get the idea. But all of it? You will figure out what works best for your family. One thing I’ve learned in parenting is that there’s very very very rarely one right way of doing something and no one person or book has all the answers.
That said — two lifesavers for my reflux guy — the vibrating bouncy and the swing, the swing, the swing. Without the swing, I might not have peed for six months.
So very happy for you, Alexa and for your darling (and most winning!) beautiful Simone.
Oh, Alexa, what wonderful news! I’ve never been happier to feel whiplash… This post made me laugh out loud. It’s so good to “hear” you so happy and hilarious.
The other commenters have said all I was going to say (Happiest Baby on the Block, burp cloths, swaddling blanket, Lanolin for that pesky nipple chapping, stuff that snaps in the front), although “pacifier” didn’t get quite the, uh, plug it deserved. Pacifiers rock, as I think Simone has found out already. I love the Avent ones. And it’s definitely worth having several on hand and sterilized at any one time, because gravity seems to work extra-well on them…
White noise machine. After living in the NICU that child is likely going to need noise to be able to sleep.
A swing. For the baby who needs constant motion and the mommy who’s arms (and bladder) need a break. Or the refluxy baby who needs to be kept semi-upright as you change their crib sheets for the 3rd time that hour and start the laundry, not realizing you’d need more than 3 crib sheets. We love the Graco Sweatpeace because it vibrates and swings and plays white noise or music (even MP3s). And it plugs in instead of needing batteries (though it will use those too, if you prefer).
And if you’re using bottles, I HIGHLY recommend just starting with Dr. Brown’s. (BPA-free will be in stores in a couple weeks.) The nipples are the most similar to the disposable NICU nipples, and they come in preemie.
Batteries. Lots of them in all different sizes. Everything uses batteries, and you don’t want to run out.
The one other thing I loved for the really tiny baby is the Boppy Newborn Lounger. It was a great place for them to sit before they were big enough for the swings and bouncers.
I’ve been reading your blog for about two years and this is my first comment, so yeah, I’m properly ashamed. Also, I’m ecstatic about the great news! I don’t have babies, so I won’t even bother with advice (I only read mommy blogs, mind you)–but I would LOVE to be able to send you something that you could use/enjoy. I’d consider it a minor contribution towards many hours of great entertainment (reading your blog). Also, I’m rooting for Simone and I’m beyond happy she’s doing well! So–give me a PO Box, anything (or even an Amazon wishlist, why not?)–I’d really love to be able to do something for you!
Congratulations to Simone!
Everyone has given great advice. Trust your Mommy instincts even if you don’t feel like you have them yet.
But I can’t resist with my advice…
We LOVE the Miracle Blanket. But, I would say that if Simone is currently not sleeping swaddled, then let her go without it, because it is just a crutch you will have to get rid of later down the line (speaking as my 7 month old is STILL in the MB).
Ditto on the Moby Wrap (or other carrier). It is awesome. You may have to try it a few times before she warms up to it.
I liked Pampers diapers, but Huggies wipes. You can tear the Huggies in half when they’re tiny babies - saves wipes and is easier to wipe with.
My biggest suggestion for sleep in the future is to start a bedtime routine ASAP, even if she doesn’t really go to bed/wakes up every 2 hours, etc. For our routine we change diaper, lube her up with Burt’s Bees lotion, put a footed sleeper on her, read Goodnight Moon, and let her play with her taggie blanket for about 10 minutes. Swaddle while singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, and lights out. Takes about 20 minutes.
I ma very happy that hopefully your NICU nightmare will end soon!
Oh, I LOVE those Pampers Sensitive wipes. I bought a box for myself, to keep in the bathroom. You’ll thank me for that tip one day.
Come on, Simone! You can do it!
It’s probably been mentioned (I didn’t read all of the comments) but Simone is probably used to “noise” so, I would consider getting something to provide a little white noise in her room. We used an ocean waves machine for my son, and he’s a GREAT sleeper! I know moms who just use little fans (pointed away from the baby at the wall) and just that low hum sound is enough.
So happy to hear she’s on her way home soon! Trust yourself that’s the most importanat thing, and sleep when she does and everything will be fine.
Hugs!
Heather
You might want to get a fire extinguisher in case Simone does, you know, spontaneous combust!
I second the noisemaker - my NICU darling couldn’t sleep unless the radio was on thanks to weeks of NICU noise. Anything that sounded like a garbage truck backing up was soothing “music” to her ears!
Baby sling - wear that kid. My NICU girlie didn’t like being “worn” but my other kids sure as heck did.
As for the rest, I found simple/basic was best. The other stuff I think is just for the parents. But - lots of onesies, a few receiving blankets and burp cloths and a place to sleep (crib, bassinet, dresser drawer, box) - thanks to reflux and constant congestion, my NICU kidlets slept quite happily in their carseats initially. That and all a mother’s love and some milk regularly are really all they need.
Congrats! Going home will seem really weird at first - you spend the whole NICU time living for that day and then it arrives and you feel completely out of your element!
First of all, this lurker is *so* happy to hear that Simone will be going home soon!
Rather prosaic advice from me — don’t use baby wipes unless you’re out & about. Instead, get a boatload of baby washcloths — they’re more environmentally friendly since they’re infinitely reusable, and they do a better job of actually removing matter (wipes tend to spread it). Much less chance of a yeasty diaper rash. We just kept a basket of about 50 on the change table; 2 or 3 warm wet washcloths worked well for all but the most impressive squelches.
They’re also very handy for small spills/burps — we used them far more than we did receiving blankets, but we also had a very non-spitup-py infant.
Also seconding the call for zinc ointment.
Something surprisingly helpful was a bunting bag. We liked one my mother gave us from nightsinwhiteflannel.com, and it’s become our standard “welcome new baby” gift.
Finally, I recommend television shows on DVD for breastfeeding sessions. At least initially, both hands will be occupied (one supporting a breast, the other the baby), and nursing can go on a *long* time per session (I had a cluster feeder –oy– my son had seen all 7 seasons of Buffy by the time he was 4 months old).
Again, congratulations!!
if you are of the mind, binkies. for those times when you don’t feel like being gnawed on, or need to, you know, plug her up.
much better (and safer!) than the booze they used to give babies in “tonics”.
speaking of, picking up a six pack of Guinness might be in order.
congrats, huzzah, and best wishes!
First of all, I think it’s fantastic that Simone keeps winning Baby of the Week. Congratulations Simone!
There have already been many excellent suggestions, so I’ll just second the ones I thought worked well for us.
1. Set up a bedtime routine early: yesyesyes! Although she had a night waking until she was about 6 months, we established a bedtime routine practically from birth and we have NEVER had a problem with Eliza fighting us over bedtime. (Knocks on wood) It’s one of those things that might not make that much sense now, since Simone will be waking up during the night, but it lays the groundwork. Since our routine always included reading lots of books, she loves to be read to, and it calms her down.
2. Yes to cloth diapers as burp cloths — more absorbent and bigger.
3. Bouncy seats — you may want to think about having more than one — for each end of your home, so that you don’t have to go hunting around and dragging it all over.
4. A lamp which can be set to very low — it’ll be gentler on all of you during midnight feeding and changing, and Simone is less likely to think it’s party time.
Burp cloths, lots of them. Receiving blankets, lots of them. Diapers, wipes, onesies. I don’t use baby powder or oil on Bear. Don’t buy a ton of diapers because believe it or not, she will outgrow those first 2-3 sizes fast. Dr. Smith’s diaper rash cream. I have tried them ALL I promise and it is the only kind that works. My neighbor ran out and bought me some one night when I was in tears over a bad diaper rash Bear had. Oh and get a swing. It is the miracle gift from God that allowed me to shower, sleep, eat, etc. The baby shouldn’t spend too much time in it but it is great when you need 15-30 minutes to get something done without an extra appendage.
“Goodnight Moon”
“Guess How Much I Love You”
“Oh the Places You’ll Go”
And anything by Sandra Boynton and Mercer Mayer
(You know - until she’s ready for Shakespeare!!!)
Happy Thouhgts!
Liz
Another lurker who is thrilled to read Simone will finally be home soon.
I am another fan of the Miracle Blanket. You can find knock-offs for a little less money, and they work just as well. Another good thing to have is a sleep sack for when she is a little older and the weather is cooler—thinking of next fall and winter. You don’t want to use blankets in the crib until Simone is able to keep them off her face. Sleep sacks are a wonderful invention.
I realize this is repeated information. I just wanted to nod along with the ladies as if we were all standing in your kitchen at a baby shower, swapping stories/theories/advice.
Wishing you a happy homecoming soon.
Long-time lurker, first-time commenter. First of all - AWESOME.
Secondly, Desitin diaper cream. A bouncy seat. A bottle drying rack (they don’t get fully dry in teh dishwasher). A bath sponge (they usually come in the shape of a bear, and you put it in the bottom of the tub when they are very wee). And a tub, of course.
“The Going To Bed Book” by sandra boynton.
A diaper caddy and a pack n’ play. The pack n’ play is a wonderful changing table/nap spot.
Wonderful, incredible, happiest news I’ve heard in weeks.
PS: Guinness is good for milk production, it was recommended to me by my physician that i drink it when i was nursing.
just to clarify that i’m not some kind of boozy monster. (okay, i might be boozy, but i’m not a monster.)
I second whoever said MIRACLE BLANKET! Those things are…um…miracles. Yeah. You have to wrap them REALLY TIGHTLY for maximum efficacy, which I never had the huevos to do to my first baby, but by the third one strangers would gape and make alarmed noises when they’d see me bracing the baby burrito with one hand and yanking the tail of the blanket with the other to pull it tight. Also? If she comes home on oxygen you may want to be EXTRA-careful about infant combustion. Oatmeal is also good for milk production. Cornstarch baby powder (NOT talc, which has been linked to higher incidences of cervical cancer in girl-babies and is apparently evil in general) is okay unless Simone has special no-powder orders for respiratory reasons (I’ve always just sort of cupped my hand over the top of the baby’s groin when applying so that it doesn’t ricochet upward, but none of mine had that degree of respiratory difficulty so again, your mileage may vary). If you don’t have her sleeping in your room, you’ll want to get one of the monitors with the lights AND sound, because if you turn them ALLLL the way up you can WATCH THE BABY BREATHE remotely if your eyes pop open and you feel the need to do so (if you are not as neurotic as I am, STOP LAUGHING–if you are, YOU’RE WELCOME!). Um…separate shirts and pants are for chumps–go with onesies for as long as possible or you’ll have a bare little belly to constantly be covering up. Oh, and lanolin is all well and good, but my lactation consultant the third time around gave me the GREAT advice to express a small amount of milk before a feeding and use it to lube up the whole aureola–if the baby doesn’t take a big enough “bite” of boob sometimes the suction and slipperiness will make it self-correct without any suction breaking or crying (theirs or yours). I’m so glad to hear you might be blowing that pop-stand!
I’ll just chime in on what others have mentioned and that we loved.
The Miracle Blanket. The name is no lie. I had a kid that I thought would go off to college being swaddled, and this thing saved us time and again. If you can swing it, get two, in case of pukeys.
Really, for just about everything: get two, if you can swing it, for pukeys. There’s one thing all babies do: puke.
The swing was also my savior during the day. He only napped in the swing or the stroller and since he was born in December in WI, the swing was a bit more practical.
But since you’ll be bringing Simone home to lovely spring weather, take her for as many walks as you can. In the stroller or the sling, whatever is easier for you. The sunlight is good for your mental state and the fresh air and change of scenery will be invaluable.
And here’s what I wish I’d done, had I had a little warning that my son was going to be evicted 3 weeks early: prep some meals, including having fruit for snacks. There’s days when making a sandwich will be an impossible feat, so being able to grab a pear while you nurse her will be a lifesaver.
Good luck! Congrats! It’s so exciting!
I’m a long time lurker, first time poster; but I had to say:
Congratulations!!!
I agree with the folks above who said to trust yoursel. You know more than you think you do and you’ll have good instincts. Before our son was born someone told us “Remember, there are a thousand ways to raise a child and eight hundred of them work.”
Things I couldn’t live without when the babies were small:
1. I’m piling on the burp cloth bandwagon here, especially the part about using the cloth diapers instead. They’re much more absorbent and much more useful when the baby is no longer spitting up.
2. Some sort of sling or pouch. Babies have an unerring instinct for needing to be held when you most need both hands for something else. The sling/pouch will save your sanity. Plus? Who *wouldn’t* want to hold a cuddly little bundle of warmth a bunch? You’ll use this a lot and it’s a lot more convenient when you go out to be able to pop a baby in a pouch than to wrestle out the stroller/baby bucket combo.
3. A swing or bouncy seat. Our son and daughter were both refluxy and, dang. Keeping them upright and comfy to get a bit of sleep is the only thing that kept both of us alive when they were up every hour.
4. Lanolin — gotta second (or third or whatever) that one. Breast feeding is hard at first (but don’t give up! it gets easier and then it’s the best thing ever!) and the lanolin is definitely helpful for sore nipples.
CONGRATULATIONS again! I’ve been following your blog for while and I’m so pleased for you!
And isn’t it kind of fun going around Target or BRU looking at all the cool baby stuff? I loved that when the babies were tiny.
I think that everything that needs to be said re: baby gear has been said above. I just wanted to let you know how incredibly happy I am for you that Simone will be coming home with you. SOON!
Oh, I did just think of one other thing we loved, not for a newborn, but once she can hold her head up well - a Bumbo! Very nice for helping them sit before they can support themselves. We used it for feeding (solids) for the first three or four months before Ant could sit well enough for a high chair.
I third or fourth the idea of wanting to get you something. Maybe you could register at baby superstore of your choice, and let us know where that is?
Can I suggest California Baby as an alternative to Johnson & Johnson’s body wash? It’s much safer, not nearly as harsh and all natural…and lasts just as long if not longer (for a small bottle). My MIL bought some for my son and it has been amazing. J&J isn’t exactly the best out there anymore. =(
It’s so great you bought stuff. Seriously, I went nuts…and then had to go make a bunch of returns when I had a Godzilla-sized newborn.
Favorites:
Mustela and California Baby bath soap and lotion.
Aden and Anais muslin blankets for swaddling
ITZBEEN timer - still use it and baby is almost 11 months old
Book: Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child
Dr. Smith’s diaper cream
Sling - I had a maya wrap but a friend has the Moby wrap and loves it - I’d use that one next time.
Sleep sacks - for when baby outgrows swaddling
Rainforest aquarium for the crib - baby has loved it from almost day 1
Diapers.com for diapers
Get more baby washcloths than you’ll think you need, my mother got us a package of like 30 and I thought she was crazy, then I started using them all the time.
If you can borrow or get swing from Craig’s list - not all babies like them (mine didn’t) and it could be a waste of money.
Avoid clothes with snaps up the back - I found them to be a huge pain when the baby was tiny and needed burping. I also found that I liked zip up sleepers better when I was doing frequent diaper changes - especially at night.
I unfortunately have no useful information to give you on the baby front, as Aodin didn’t quite make it home with us, but I could not be more happy for you. I am SO pleased to hear that Simone could be coming home sometime soon! It’s wonderful. I cannot wait for pictures and stories and all of the excitement of bringing home baby!
So excited to read this post and hear of some POSITIVE excitement at S’s bedside. You’ll do great — just start with what you have an aquire as needed. You’ll appreciate the errand!
Coming out of lurkdom to say “Yay” and “Blogging makes you care about people you don’t even know”.
All good suggestions above, to which I’d like to add:
A few waterproof changing pads, like these:
http://www.kushiesonline.com/Deluxe-Baby-Changing-Pad-p/p210.htm
They were great for bare bum time, which our Josie needed a lot of due to yeasty diaper rashes. Because protecting laps and carpets and sofas is nice, and just plain towels can be soaked through. This I know for sure.
As well, for you? Food you can eat with one hand, and things you can throw together for meals and snacks quickly. Stuff to make smoothies. I liked granola bars and smoothies for quick energy and a full tummy; and if you get things like bagels slice them all ahead of time and set your toaster setting to lighter because you may have to send it through a time or two if you actually want to eat it warm. Oh, the things that can happen in the time between pressing the lever and the pop-up.
You must must must have a baby monitor with a motion sensor that will alert you if she’s stops breathing (the sensor goes under the mattress), a la Angel Care monitor. Perhaps you will be coming home with something hospital grade, but eventually I assume you will have to give that back and the peace of mind of the motion sensor is worth it’s weight in platinum and diamonds.
And I’m a big fan of the Ergo baby carrier for when she gets a little bigger.
A bouncy seat is a must. Get one that vibrates (I think they all might). (Wish I had one that would fit a six-foot two, 165-pound woman).
and OMG! Simone is coming home soon!
I prefer Target brand desitin for diaper rash. As far as equipment, I did a post on that last week.
http://raspberrychip.blogspot.com/2008/04/rachels-recommendations-part-1.html
I am so glad Simone is coming home!
I don’t have a baby (only puppies, who can be left alone in a cage all day . . . I hear you’re not supposed to do that so much with babies?) so I don’t have any advice. But I would like to say OMG SIMONE IS GOING HOME SOON YAY!!!!! I am so happy for all of you!
Congratulations, Simone, on your pending homecoming! My husband always said the only thing you need to bring a baby home is a carseat, diapers, and food. Everything else is a luxury. That being said, we really enjoyed our rolling bassinet - our 6 month old slept in it next to our bed, which is convenient for middle of the night feedings and neurotic checks from mommy to make sure baby is still breathing. Then you can roll it around with you all day - doing dishes? roll her into the kitchen with you, don’t even have to wake her up. Sitting on the veranda? roll her outside, etc….
I too love burpy cloths - we have them all over the house, to catch spitup, to put under the chin while feeding, to wipe baby boogers on.
You are going to do so GREAT! We all started out where you are, and we all just do the best we can. The kids almost always turn out just fine :)
Kirsten
Oooh oooh ooh! *raises hand* Pay attention to me! I’ve had one whole human child and thus know everything! Or…not.
Stuff we used:
Car seat, and maybe one of those snap-n-go stroller frames for it — you can totally wait until she’s sitting up to make up your mind on a real stroller.
A frillion cheap cloth diapers for spills
Dr. Brown’s bottles (the small parts can be a pain but soooo good for newborn digestive sensitivities)
A swing (if Simone proves to be the swinging sort — we learned two days in that Noah would only sleep after being swung wildly back and forth by one of us in his car seat, and eff that, they make ugly battery-operated crap for a reason)
Triple paste butt cream in case of (shudder) thrush or other vicious newborn rashes.
Blankets for swaddling.
And that’s really it, early on. I wish we’d skipped all the other stuff, like bottle sterilizers (DISHWASHER, YOU MORON) and Diaper Genies and bouncy seats and anything and everything related to tummy time. Oh, and anyone who gives you infant outfits that BUTTON around the legs or up the back? Cut them out of your life, because they clearly hate you.
The things I could not live without:
-Anti-gas drops (mylicon, ovol, whatever they are called).
-Burp cloths (although when you run out, there’s always towels)
-un-scented, sensitive skin laundry detergent, ivory snow or whatever they call it. You’re going to do a lot of laundry.
-A squirrel-like cache of food for yourself … now is the time to stock the freezer with food you can pull out, re-heat and have dinner on the table, as well as things you can eat one handed, like granola bars and the like. Or get a lot of take-out gift certificates.
I couldn’t have lived without my Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper. Having your baby right next to your bed where you can watch her sleep just can’t be beat.
I also loved loved loved the Swaddle Me blankets. They are much like the Miracle Blankets but I believe less expensive.
Ok, who is organizing the shower? I would, but my one human toddler and full time job are complicating things.
Beware of BPA in bottles, avoid Dr. Brown’s until their new ones come out. See recent articles and Canada ban.
Everything else should have already been mentioned. If you are interested in a used bouncy seat, I’m local and would love to see it reused. It made the whole reflux thing so much more livable. That and Prevacid.
no baby here, but i’d love to join the others and ask for a chance to help out. amazon wishlist? target registry?
hooray simone! so happy to read the news.
Tips:
1.My daughter had horrible diaper rash when she first came home. Her doctor told us that babies less than a few months old shouldn’t be changed using wipes. He recommended water or even better baby oil. It sounds really wierd but if you dampen cotton balls, wadded up toilet tissue or a soft cloth with a little baby oil it will clean anything! We used baby oil on her bum for the first few months and she’s never had another diaper rash. Plus, we didn’t even need to use creams. Also, you will want to take her in for a diaper rash if she gets one in case it’s a yeast infection. Easy to treat if you know what it is.
2. Not sure if you will have to give medicines but here’s a trick. We have to give our baby zantac by a dropper twice a day. It tastes gross so we have to trick her. Have someone standing by with the dropper and while she’s eating remove the nipple(real or artificial) from her mouth. While she’s still making the little ‘o’ like she’s eating sneak the dropper in then quickly put the nipple back in her mouth. She’ll be able to get the icky taste out of her mouth.
3. You might want to bath her in your arms for the first few months. This works well with two people. While one is in the shower the other strips the baby and hands her off. A quick rinse and some soap if needed then she gets handed back to the helper and wrapped in a warm towel. It’s really hard to feel like your not drowning a tiny baby in a bathtub, plus the skin contact is really nice. We ’showered’ ours until she was around 12 pounds.
Other things we can’t live without…
Vibrating chair - we like the fisher price rainforest one. You can set it in front of your chair and gently rock the baby with your foot.
Burp cloths - our baby has reflux too. You will need ALOT of these. Anything soft will do.
Bibs - make sure they have snaps or the soft velcro. Some come with velcro that is very hard and scratchy. No baby needs that. Touch it to your skin, if it’s scratchy, put it back.
Ok, honestly, what Simone needs…love. Everything else…just icing.
Practically speaking…
-have burp rags (which you already have)
-a boppy to save your sagging arms :) (you have already)
-I never used the cute crib bedding…only used sheets because I was neurotic about suffocation.
-baby bags :) not garbage ones. I can’t remember the official names, but these cutie outfits don’t have bottoms, so it is easy to change diapers without too much fuss. My kids (I have 3) hardly wore anything else until they were 3 months old.
-a swing is nice to have, make sure its battery operated and not wind up. Because it never fails to need rewinding just when baby falls asleep.
-gas drops for your darling…mylicon or generic…doesn’t matter
-easy to eat snacks for you when you are nursing or feeding her a bottle.
—friends to drop by to give you food or an ear for listening when you are making yourself crazy with what you aren’t doing that will scar your child for life…sorry, that was my own insecurities talking.
Simone will do just fine if you give her all your lovin! Here’s hoping she comes home soon.
Blessings!
Isn’t crazy how you sit and sit and sit in the NICU and one day they blind side you with the words “DISCHARGE” and “HOME”! I am so excited for you!
Don’t worry too much about baby stuff. You really don’t NEED all that much. And it’s easy to run out and pick up things when she comes home (even though you won’t be able to take her to the store with you).
Just have the basics - diapers, wipes, lots of onesies, some swaddling blankets, a boppy pillow, couple of sheets, bottles.
We had the papisan bouncy chairs which they (and we) loved in the beginning. We had some serious reflux and they were great for keeping the babies up right. Are they using a Danny sling in Simone’s crib? If they are and you want extras, we still have ours. It was kind of nice to have a spare or two when we needed to wash them so we didn’t realize right before bedtime that they were still wet. Let me know if you want them.
One of our NICU nurses recommended the Kangaroo Pouch sling (actually made in Minnesota). You can get them at the baby store on Snelling. I’m totally blanking on the name. You know the really cute, but expensive one with lots of organic type stuff. Our really bad refluxer lived in this sling. It was nice because I could even slip it off when he was sleeping and transfer him to the bouncy chair without waking him up.
Don’t stress too much about stuff. Remember there will be lots of advice, but no “right” answers (although there will be many people with no preemie experience that will try to convince you they know it all). You’ll realize what works best for you very quickly when Simone comes home.
Oh, this is fantastic news! I remember how quickly everything happened once we started hearing the words “discharge planning.” It was as if everything was in slow-mo up to that point and then it suddenly went to FFx5.
Gear: I can’t add anything other than what’s already been said.
I’m just so happy for you!
ecstatic. happy for you beyond belief and words.
If you buy NOTHING else…. please get yourself a Moby Wrap. If I had your address I’d send you one myself.
I bought one for my best friend (who also brought home a weeeee little preemie) and she LIVED in it. Her baby is now 5 months old and she STILL rants to me about it.
So please… set up a PO box or something so we can give you an impromptu and belated baby shower… I’ll send a Moby Wrap!
L
No baby purchase advice here, but this is a fantastic post (and comments) that I’m bookmarking for when I’m less infertile and need to know what to buy.
Yea Simone!! Way to grow, baby!
- I second (or third) the California Baby wash - the Super Sensitive variety has no fragrance, no aggravating chemicals, etc.
- I exclusively pumped for 14.5 months, and I would recommend olive oil instead of lanolin, especially if you are pumping alot… olive oil is antibacterial and antifungal and will be much more comfortable than sticky lanolin… Plus, yeast LOVES lanolin - all that nice sugar!
- When your nipples are really torn up use All Purpose Nipple Ointment (for recipe see: http://www.drjacknewman.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=39&Itemid=69)
It has to be made by a compounding pharmacy, and it is kind of expensive, but a little lasts a LONG time and it will heal your nipples super quick.
- Amazon’s subscription service for diapers - 15% off the price and free shipping… They just send you the diapers at the interval you request - you don’t even have to remember!
- Slings and wraps are awesome, especially when they need contact, but you are convinced your arms will fall off if you have to hold them another second
- Diaper Champ - uses regular kitchen trash bags, keeps in the smells
- I loved gowns for newborns, esp. at night - you can change their diaper with a minimum of fuss
- Ann Douglas’ The Mother of All Baby Books - silly title, but a solid reference book with evidence-based info presented in a reassuring but not condescending manner
You will do a fantastic job, even with a sub-optimal nurse to baby ratio!
How exciting! I’m so glad to hear that you will be taking Simone home soon. My preference was for Huggies wipes and Pampers diapers. You can mix and match those brands with no worries! The Pampers wipes seem flimsy or something. Huggies makes a brand for sensitive skin, too.
Get lots of burp cloths (Gerber cotton diapers work great - my 2 yo daughter still uses them as her comfort objects) and terrycloth bibs. That will save you from changing a lot of clothes (hers or yours). My kids wore bibs pretty much all the time during their first year of life. I finally looked around once my son turned one and noticed that none of the other little babies had bibs on, so I let him go bib-free after that.
Get ready for lots of snuggle time. My daughter was 8 weeks early, and I just decided it was because I needed to have some extra time with her. And I cherished every baby-snuggly moment, no matter how tired I was.
Find some really good TV shows - I was reacquainted with Murphy Brown during my daughter’s infancy. It came on at 3 AM on Nick at Night. Lame as I am, I actually stumbled out of bed to get the baby thinking, “I wonder what’s happening on Murphy Brown this morning!”
Babies are strong. They don’t break easily. Just love her and hold her a lot. It won’t spoil her (it’s impossible to spoil an infant).
If you have time to read, try the preemie baby book by Dr. Sears. I loved that, and I was able to read it while nursing or pumping.
I’m a complete stranger, but I’m so happy for you, another complete stranger. Gotta love this internet!
The Boppy Newborn Lounger…it’s the ONLY thing I give to people having a baby. It keeps them confined and snuggled and slightly elevated and is the best thing ever.
More practical things? I can’t speak to girl-y things, but baby things:
1) Beaudreaux’s Butt Paste (doesn’t stink and kept my 2nd from having a diaper rash for 7 months, until I stopped using it!)
2) Wal-Mart (I know, I know) Baby Connection (?) Burp Cloths (4 to a pack)
3) Some sort of SWING (I have the Fisher Price Papasan swing)
4) Fisher Price Crib Aquarium
5) ANYTHING from Earth Mama/Angel Baby
6) Cloud B Swaddle Blanket &/or Sleep Sack
SO exciting!
De-lurking to first and foremost say - Congratulations!!
Secondly, to share some of the things that worked for us. When I bought my preemie home 5 months ago, we came home to nothing as well, being as that I never had my shower either. I ran to Target as well - stocked up on Pampers newborn Swaddlers, Pampers Sensitive wipes, flannel receiving blankets, onesies, socks, little cotton caps, burp cloths, and a copy of What to Expect the First Year.
Babies R Us has a decent selection of preemie clothes that worked well for our daughter - Alexa, who shares your name! I bought most of her clothing there, she slept in a bassinet, and we made it work an picked up the rest as we went along.
I eventually had a shower, and it took her about 3 months, but she finally went into newborn clothing, Carters fits her very slim frame the best.
The Diaper Champ - wonderful invention. The Fischer Price Rainforest Bouncer - a godsend. The Fischer Price Baby Papasan Cradle Swing - a lifesaver.
Overall, babies are pretty forgiving and won’t remember if everything wasn’t ‘perfect’. You do it as you go along, and it comes easily after a few weeks. I hope the little one is home soon, and I am so excited that the NiCU stay is coming close to an end! The day we left, we ran and never looked back.
Congrats! I am so, so happy for you! Your excitement is palpable and I laughed out loud at this post.
I do not have kids, but from the slew of siblings, cousins and babysitting I did, you can never have enough onsies and undershirts. Babies are always spitting up on themselves and they constantly need to be changed. Stock up on laundry detergent and fabric softener, too!
Warmest wishes,
M
Also - Mylicon. That saved us many nights of screaming once I started giving it to her. Helped tremendously with her gassy colic issues. Of course ask the ped first, but I swear by that stuff.
Congrats on Simone’s impending homecoming!
I have no advice to offer in the baby gear department, I’m afraid. Personally I find the list of items to purchase quite overwhelming, and I won’t have a baby joining me for another 5 months.
This is the best news ever!
My baby is 25 (gulp) and the only thing I remember really loving was those cloth diapers (she was allergic to disposables), and Bag Balm (green tin found at Target). I’ve heard that Butt Cream is the best for diaper rash. My daughter (aka my baby) worked in a daycare and said those vibrating sling papazans(sp) were essential. Oh - and baby suppositories for when the little pooper ain’t workin’. It happens and it’s the saddest cry you’ve ever heard in the world.
That’s my 2 cents.
I would be very interested in a virtual baby shower though — or a Target gift registry. I’d love to send you something!!
Congrats on every level.
Oh goodness what wonderful news!! I was still reeling from your last few posts so it was fantastic to read good news.
My advice as the mom of a preemie.
Stock up on lots of cloth diapers as burp cloths and then they make great cleaning rags later.
Make sure you have a good stroller or sling to walk around with. You can’t (or more realistically shouldn’t)go to a lot of public places with your preemie for awhile. So we compensated by taking LOTS of long walks around our neighborhood and local parks. I found it relaxed me immensely and he loved the fresh air.
We loved our Papasan swing and whatever random vibrating seat was available. It helped with his reflux by keeping him a little more upright and he routinely slept there. As an aside though, he fit in the vibrating seat pretty easily but the swing took awhile before he was big enough to sit in safely.
Don’t worry about having everything ahead of time. You can always go out and get things later. And while you can’t run everywhere with your preemie? An afternoon run to a mostly empty store is not the end of the world.
The most important thing that she needs is you. Don’t worry it will be amazing and wonderful to have her home!
So excited for you!!!! I have a list of things though that I have used with each of my boys (now on #3 who is 2m old)
1. bouncer
2. swing
3. bjorn when I put on a sling it feels like they are going to fall out.
4. burp cloths so much easier than bibs until soilds are started
5. pad to put on top of crib sheet so much easier to change than the whole sheet everytime a diaper leaks or spit up occurs. I put them on the changing table too, less laundry that way.
6. lots of recieving blankets for swaddling. 7. sleep book “solve your child’s sleep problems” dr. ferber. lots of useful information from infant to teens. worked with all my kids
Make sure you pick her up as soon as you can when she starts crying. it will help her to cry less. lots of hugs and kisses she won’t break and she will know how much you love her.
Good luck and you are a wonderful mom.
Wow! Lots of advice!
The silly warning you found is required by the government. They’ve decided that children’s sleepwear has to be tight fitting or made with a fireproof material. If it isn’t made with that material, it needs that warning you saw. I’m guessing that it was done after a lawsuit by the parents of “Jack be Nibble”. Jumping over candles in loose fitting clothing could result in disaster.
Besides a car seat, diapers, and a way to feed her, I think you need to have a friend that is local that can either come over and tend to the baby when you need a nap or that you can go see to get out of the house (baby in tow). Unfortunately, most people have jobs in the middle of the day, which is when you’ll need that the most. Without having that for myself, I’m sure you would have seen a headline last summer: “Search for missing Eagan mom ends when she was found hiding in a tree mumbling ’stop crying, baby, please stop crying’”.
I don’t know if or when colic hits preemies, but trust me, you’ll need Mylicon in the house. It was the only thing we *really* couldn’t do without in the first three months. One drop per kilo, it doesn’t taste bad and in a good ten to fifteen minutes the crying would go away.
Other than that, get yourself a sling (I found the pouch models easier to use), forget about teensy t-shirts and cute little dresses (I know, I know, impossible…) because onesies are definitely more comfortable for the baby, don’t go crazy on baby shoes (little Imelda Marcos here is four months old and she has yet to try one pair!) stock up on burp cloths for under her head in the crib and all the spit ups and maybe get one of those vibrating rocking chairs (it can save the life of your wrists and arms if she gets clingy).
Oh, and a microwave steam sterilizer too!
Boudreaux’s Butt Paste
A red or ‘unhappy’ bottom tonight generously covered with Bourdreaux’s Butt Paste = all gone tomorrow morning and a happy baby to boot!!
WHOOO HOOOO!
That is all.
Oh that’s so wonderful! I am very very pleased for you.
The things I’ve found most useful in looking after my baby : yoga ball, maternity pillow, muslin cloths, stroller, one of those baby chairs whose recline can be altered and that rock and one of those chain/string things that attach a pacifier to baby’s clothing.
My son was quite a fractious baby and the yoga ball was brilliant at soothing him to sleep. Basically a parent would sit on it holding him and bouncing gently on it. (Also brilliant for resting legs on while watching TV while baby is silent).
I don’t know what a Boppy is, but the pillow I used was a long sausage shaped one filled with some kind of granules, the sort you use to ease your aches in pregnancy and the sort I subsequently used to prop up my baby or make him snuggly. If he fell asleep in my arms I could transfer him to the pillow bent into a U shape and fool him into settling into it so comfortably that he didn’t notice that I was no longer holding him, like this.
Another useful thing : helium balloons. When my baby became good at looking at the world and being amused by it, a helium balloon attached to a baby arm or leg was both distracting and entertaining for the baby (since flailing his limbs made the balloon dance) and allowed me to get quite a bit of housework done.
In terms of hauling baby around I use a sling. I’ve got a bad back so I did a lot of research of various slings and the most comfortable one I came across was this one: http://www.closebabycarrier.com/ It seemed to combine the best of a sling and a baby bjorn, it was easily adjustable, easy to clean and didn’t involve much faff. Nowadays I get my son into it in about 10 seconds and get him out quite easily. Also the way it’s shaped makes it easy for a baby to change positions in it and takes minimal adjustment to breastfeed.
Things to avoid - infant clothings that shut with buttons rather than snaps, things that close at the back rather than front.
Yay, Simone. Home. It’s going to feel so good.
Tell your mama that an ergo carrier rocks. A Bjorn will leave her back crippled, especially when you qualify as a featherweight. It can be used front, back, side, and there’s a nifty insert for the diminutive in size.
Oops, I forgot the most important. Food for your parents because they won’t have a moment to cook. They need to spend every possible moment staring at your beautiful face.
Tell the neighbors, friends, acquaintances: BRING DINNER. If GA wasn’t so stinking far from MN, I would drop off a meal tomorrow.
Hi Alexa, I don’t know you but have been rooting for you & Simone all along, as I am a fellow Minnesotan. I have a two year old daughter and her middle name is Simone! Great name. So now on to baby advice. For us, a pack and play was really nice to have. It has a changing table built right into it and you could have it up in your living room. I am a fan of changing tables (some aren’t) Don’t buy a diaper genie, I’ve heard they’re a waste of time. Get some attachment so that you can pump hands free, I never had that and thought that it would be nice. Ask Simone’s pediatrician to make a referral for you for lactation consultant visits. This way you can be sure she’s getting what she needs and you’re doing it right. The breastfeeding store at United is great for any type of thing you may need related to breastfeeding. Don’t waste your time with bottle warmers, wipes warmers, sanitizers, etc. Warm soapy water is just fine for cleaning. And if you need to heat a bottle, you just submerge it in some warm water for a few minutes. It’s good to have a lot of receiving blankets. Hmmm. Our baby is going to be two and I’ve forgotten a lot about the newborn stage! She came home from the hospital weighing 4′13. Good luck to you guys! Feel free to email with ?s!
Jean
Congratulations! This is so exciting. I’ve never posted a comment, but my husband and I check your blog every day for updates :) I just brought home my baby 2 1/2 weeks ago, so I’m hardly an expert. However, my girl is a messy little breastfeeder (who gets randomly frustrated with my breasts and starts to scream at them), so I would recommend burp cloths to keep from getting milk all over everything. It’s sticky. My mom bought me several heavy cloth diapers and I’ve found that they are very good for that purpose. Good luck! Looking forward to more updates!
If you are using baby wipes, a wipe warmer is a must. Nothing offends a baby more than a cold wipe. Try a cold wipe on yourself, you might cry too!
Daisy
Yay!!!! Congratulations.
I’m nearing the one year mark with #3 and was just thinking the other day about the advice I’d give a new mom and what she needed and what she didn’t. As someone said above, don’t worry about a Diaper Genie/Champ. Diapers won’t even smell until you introduce solids, and even then placing them in a plastic grocery bag and tying it before tossing it in the trash works (if you are using disposable). Also, we didn’t use a changing