[SCENE: A lavishly appointed NICU ROOM. NURSE PRACTITIONER—formerly seen in Act I: A Streetcar Named TRACHEOSTOMY—pulls up a chair. ALEXA looks up from LAPTOP, visibly ALARMED.]
NURSE PRACTITIONER: So, I just want to prepare you…
ALEXA’S INNER MONOLOGUE: Oh god, WHAT NOW?
NURSE PRACTITIONER: …for the fact that things may start moving quickly now that Simone is back on the regular cannula. She can be discharged on this oxygen setting, and once she is taking all her feedings by bottle or breast, we will be sending her home.
ALEXA’S NECK: WHIPLASH!
-Fade to black-
[SCENE: A lavishly appointed NICU ROOM. ALEXA is MAKING FACES at the BABY. WOMAN enters.]
WOMAN: Hi! I’m from Discharge Planning. Do you have a few minutes to talk?
ALEXA’S BRAIN: LIQUIFIES, DRIPS OUT RIGHT EAR
It looks like Simone is coming home. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and for the rest of her life (we may have to negotiate that last part when she reaches college age, but never mind that now).
So, uh, I have a lot of questions. About babies. Because of how I have one. Who will be coming to live with me, at my apartment, where the nurse-to-neonate ratio is suboptimal (0-1). Currently, my knowledge of infants is more or less limited to the following:
1. Generally diminutive in size
2. Fond of milk
3. Exhibit poor impulse control
4. To clean, wipe with damp cloth
5. Should never be thrown out with bathwater
I was initially relieved to see that babies have their own Wikipedia page, but it turns out to be full of helpful tidbits such as “Babies cannot walk” and “Infants’ social presence is different from that of adults, and they may be the focus of attention. Fees for transportation and entrance fees at locations such as amusement parks or museums are often waived.”
While I am certainly pleased to know that I can send Simone out for an afternoon of sightseeing with a minimal amount of cash, I have more pressing concerns. Like the tag that came attached to one of my daughter’s snap-heavy unitards:
PARDON?
Catch FIRE? Are babies flammable? Is this something I need to be watching for, a PLUME OF SMOKE rising from her bassinet?
So yes: I have many questions. I could “read” or “consult experts,” but talking to the Internet has served me so well in the past that I thought I would do that instead. I have a whole slew of things to ask about breastfeeding and reflux and whatnot, but those will be more involved posts later this week (that anyone who is not deeply interested in my nipples may want to skip). For now, I will start with something simple:
MY NEUROSIS, LET ME SHOW U IT
One of the first things we heard when they started transitioning Simone to a crib was that she would need to be bundled up, and could we bring in some of her clothes? “Sure!” I said brightly, surreptitiously writing Buy Baby Clothes on my To Do list. I never had a baby shower, seeing as how I didn’t make it out of the second trimester, and my paranoia did not permit me to buy baby things during pregnancy myself (a good thing, too, or I’d be listing a double stroller on Craigslist right about now). After Simone was born, her health was so tenuous that I was even less inclined to purchase crib bedding I might have to re-tailor into an infant shroud.
But if trained medical professionals needed me to shop for wee bodysuits, well, by golly I would. So I ran out to buy a package of onesies…and staggered into my apartment three hours later with bags hanging from my every appendage, bags containing things like baby Tylenol and tiny socks and a random package of bottles. Perhaps my blood sugar was low, perhaps it was the fine mist of acquisition-promoting chemicals they spray into the air at Target, but once I tossed that first pair of footed pajamas into my cart, there was no stopping me. I was too superstitious to do anything with my freshly acquired loot but shove it into a closet and sneak in to stare at it every once in a while, but it’s a start. I have a Boppy sitting in the NICU. I have the softest stuffed elephant ever made. We even have a crib, an honest-to-goodness crib for a baby.
Besides the aforementioned baby Tylenol I now own a barrel-sized vat of hand-sanitizer, Pampers SENSITIVE! wipes, Johnson & Johnson NO MORE TEARS! baby shampoo, a bulb syringe, two hulking air purifiers, and a baby first aid kit—the only thing missing is the plastic bubble. But I know there is more to stocking a nursery than rectal thermometers and stuffed elephants, soft or not (the elephants, not the thermometers). And it’s confusing: did you know you aren’t supposed to use baby oil or baby powder? I assumed that the “baby” prefix meant they were appropriate for the younger set, but no.
So let’s assume, for a moment, that Simone is going to continue staying alive and eventually come home to the room earmarked for her—what do I need? Rags, obviously, for assorted fluids. Twine to keep her tethered safely in her crib. Anything I am missing? What did you use, and what was a waste of money that could more properly be spent on cheese and gin?
*But Were Too Infertile to Ask
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speaking as the mother of two reflux babies: burp cloths. lots and lots of burp cloths. (I liked using the cloth diapers you can buy at Babies R Us or Target: better coverage, high absorbency.)
Lanolin – we use this for everything. Dry skin? Lanolin. Cut? Lanolin. Hurt feelings? Lanolin.
Also – Triple Paste diaper cream. Its expensive (you can get it at Walgreens – about $30 a tub) but definitely worth it (lasts forever). I don’t know about Simone, but my son came home from the NICU with a horrible diaper rash. An alternating mix of (you guessed it) Lanolin and Triple Paste solved it. We use the soft thin wash rags that you find at Target instead of wipes. Less diaper rash that way and then just throw them in the washing machine with your regular detergent and a little bleach.
Some REST for you. I don’t know you (obviously) but you’ve been through a tough time. Bringing home this baby doesn’t make it suddenly okay that you lost your son and then had to watch Simone endure the NICU and all the fear that comes with it. It certainly helps, but (from my own experience) it would not surprise me that you get that beautiful baby home, get something of a routine going and then can’t figure out why you aren’t feeling as happy as you thought you would. Its natural and will get better – but takes time and sometimes a little therapy and/or medication. Be patient with yourself. You’ve been through a lot.
So – my two cents, for what its worth.
Let me preface this with the information that I am a bit of a hippie chick. My rule for baby care was “never put anything on your baby’s skin that you wouldn’t put in your own mouth.” Thus, we used a lot of olive oil for cleansing and moisturizing and soothing. I’m also big on cloth diapers, BUT – I’m not going to have to wash them, so I won’t nag. Even if you decide on disposables, though, you’re going to want some cloth diapers around for puking* When you don’t need them anymore for body fluids, they make great dustrags. Carseat, rear-facing, in the back seat ONLY, I’m sure you have that under control.
*And mommies don’t say “puking”, we say “spitting up.”
2 miracle blankets. For sleep-deprived-idiot-proof swaddling. Swaddling is gold. Pure gold. Miracle blankets aren’t cheap($30 each?), but worth it, so worth it. were impoverished graduate students and thought they were worth it.
A sling of some sort, or a baby bjorn– anything that distributes the weight across your back equally
One of those floor mat things. With the crossbars, and the hanging stuff. My daughter lived under that thing for the first 5 months, doing lots of floor play– kicking, batting, considering her reflection, whispering sweet nothings into Bird’s ear and kicking the shit out of Lion. (floorplay was esp. good as she was 16 weeks early.)
Berts Bees makes good baby products, as does Mustela(esp. the foaming shampoo for cradle cap. not that cheap, but not too bad, and lasts forever). As moisturizer/diaper creme Vaseline seems to work best— have some around in general.
Dye and perfume free detergent, does not have to be pricey Dreft.
Avoid Diaper Genie, etc. Uses obscene amount of excess plastic. Just toss them in kitchen garbage. They’re not toxic.
Avoid “baby bathtub” and take her in with one of you skin to skin– much easier, esp. if other parent assists, much nicer for her. Those bathtubs are awkward and impossible and take up space.
Make sure that hospital discharge deals with the oxygen supply company and that it’s all settled before you leave, and that they include a travel cannister(in a portable pack) so you don’t have to roll a huge tank around when you’re taking Simone out on the town.
Remember, it’s not Noah’s Ark. You won’t be setting sail. You’ll be able to pick stuff up as you need it, and baby stores are not a bad way to get out of the house with a little one.
Also, Alexa, could you shoot me your email address? There’s something I’d like to send you.
apologies if sound like hyperventilating MIL in post above.
Oh Sweet Jesus, I love this post. Now we’re gettin’ somewhere.
Ok, I don’t remember much from those first months home over a year ago. It’s all a sleep-deprived haze. But I DO remember these four things that I couldn’t live without:
Baby Papasan–plush vibrating chair which was the only thing she would sleep in.
Miracle Blanket–swaddling blanket that she couldn’t sleep without.
Hotslings for the tiny baby, and later, the Ergo Carrier for the bigger baby/toddler–the only way I got anything done in the house or went anywhere outside the house. Such a wonderful alternative to that mess they call a stroller.
Love, love, love this good news.
I am so excited for you! For me, though, the waiting time after the discharge word was brought up seemed like forever. I hope it is much quicker for you and Simone!
My son has reflux, so a bouncer was gold for us. He was able to stay upright in the bouncer (and get vibrated, too–he loved being vibrated by that chair) and I was able to get something done during his naps–even nap myself!
We also use/used loads of burp cloths. I have bibs, but don’t like them as well as I like the burp cloths.
I have nothing pertinent, nothing practical and nothing productive to tell you about life with a newbie under your very own roof. Other than that I am still inhaling with the thrill of it all and may soon need medical attention if exhalation does not rapidly approach over the horizon. Simone’s coming home. Your wee Viking’s about to set sail!
I am too ancient a female parent (and too not American) to offer you any useful retail tips re. Walgreen’s wipes etc (tho I could spin you a web of yarns about Boots’s nappy wipes circa 1999 – how very useful, I hear you say). So I am waffling in the wind, so to speak, offering you nothing practical, nothing productive other than my deepest DELIGHT.
Shine on, Simone. To Scott and Alexa, your time has come. You are the most wonderful parents of a most remarkable child.
A few words to Jesse – I am deeply sorry for assumptions I made recently about the reasons for your comments on this blog. If the Internet has told me anything wise, it has made me realise that there are people out there who see how you feel, know how you mourn and hear how you lament your loss.
Please accept my apologies.
….
Meanwhile, oh Viking girl of the unfeasibly lengthy limbs, hoist the mainsail…
Oh! Emm! Gee!
Swaddling, indeed. Instructions on YouTube, but I hihgly recommend Harvey Karp’s book, The Happiest Baby On The Block. HOnest, just go buy it (and the dvd too, if you like). Will save your sanity in a few weeks time.
Home, Simone, home!!
I think you got some excellent advice above. I just want to say how glad I am that Simone is almost home. You are a wonderful parent and I believe as long as you give your child love all else will fall in place.
Congratulations!!
This is fabulous news!
We had a baby in September. Out of all the piles of baby crap, the only items I don’t think I could have lived without are:
1)The Miracle Blanket. I’m like a freaking ad for this thing. As soon as she fell asleep, I’d pop her in, and she’d sleep. And sleep. Beautiful sleep. Also handy for breast feeding. No other swaddling blanket worked for us. We did rolled up receiving blankets on either side of her as a cheap sleep positioner. You can buy actual sleep positioners too.
2)The my brest friend pillow. Evil name, but so much better than the bobby. I don’t know if we would have kept breast feeding without this.
3)Soothing Motions Swing. I have no idea if a swing will be medically possible for Simone, but my baby slept the first four months in her swing.
4)My moby wrap. Hopefully, you’ve already gotten to do some kangaroo care in the hospital. You’ll want to keep doing babywearing at home. We loved the moby and the hotsling pouch. The moby is awesome b/c you can keep her upright and not all crunched up–great for reflux.
5)Gowns. Screw onesies. She lived in the little gowns for the first several weeks at home. So easy for diaper changes. Just bunch them up and pull up from the feet so you don’t have to wrestle with that big baby noggin :)
6) Simone is probably coming home with some sort of monitor right? We have the motion monitor that you can buy, and it’s saved our sanity.
I love The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. It’s still by side of the bed, even now, six months later.
Given I’m still blindly buying stuff without much idea, I think I’ll read the wise advice of the posters above…
J
I second the poster above–rest up.
When we brought our preemie twins home from the hospital, I had the basics like car seats and some onesies, but I think there were a few things that I ended up buying that made the transition to “real baby” status easier. (I say “real baby” as in the baby who is not hooked up to monitors, and fits in regular clothes, and doesn’t have a tube up the nose). My kids weren’t all that tiny, but boy, they seemed impossibly small once we had them in their car seats.
So, in no particular order:
Hats. Lots of little cotton caps for them to wear all the time, even sleeping. (We were told by the NICU folks to do this, but I was nervous about this and discontinued the sleeping w/hat arrangement as soon as they acclimated to our house temperature.) We even doubled up on the little hats.
Really large and thin swaddling blankets. Kooshies makes some nice cotton flannel ones, and the new muslin ones look really nice also. Most swaddling blankets are just too small.
Soft onesies, long-sleeved, no tags. We also got Under the Nile long sleeve jackets that snap–great to layer over onesies, and easy to whip off if the kid spits up (and often, the jacket prevented the liquid from soaking through, so I didn’t have to change ALL the clothes at 3 AM.)
Burp cloths for under the babies head in the crib or co-sleeper. Saves changing sheets, and easy to wash.
For the first few months, that’s what my children wore–hats, onesies, and swaddling blankets. Socks usually fell off, so as long as they were warmly swaddled, they were fine in the above.
Under the Nile also makes some nice preemie clothes. I don’t know how big Simone is, but a 4 pound baby is just too small for newborn clothes for, in our case, a couple of months. And we did a lot of doctor visits and needed some clothes that worked well with the car seat.
A rubbermaid dishpan tub for baths in the sink. My kids got their bath in the tiny tub for weeks–it was just easier to do it that way when they are so small and slippery.
An inexpensive changing table pad thing that can go on a counter next to the sink where you give baby the bath. It worked well for us, and, no walking with aforementioned slippery baby.
Super gentle soap. We rarely used soap, but when we did, we went with unscented, organic, biodynamic, etc. Mustela made all of us break out. Most baby products have too much fragrance added.
A place to put baby when you dare to put her down. Someplace soft and slightly inclined. Amby hammocks look great if you have reflux issues. The baby papasan wasn’t the biggest hit in our house until about 4 months of age. We liked our Chicco loungers as they were pretty flat and easy to move around the house.
A glider. Make sure it’s really comfortable, and has a footrest. We got ours for cheap on Craigslist and I will probably throw it out when we are done.
Cranio-sacral therapy. It was really important to do this with both of our children, for different reasons, and there’s a lot written about this if you look. It cured my daughter’s colic/reflux the same day as the appointment. We were able to toss her medications away the next day. Best 15 minutes of my entire life, and apparently, hers too! It really helped my son’s physical issues also.
Weego carrier. You should read up on carriers and hip and spine development. I like slings but we found the weego to be really secure and cozy and it was the best for long walks and doctor’s visits. (Don’t drag your carseat everywhere with the stroller–it’s the perfect height for snotty children to sneeze on your baby at the doctor’s office and market. We leaned the hard way.)
Have fun–and remember, all she really needs is you & partner. I’m sure you’ll do what we did and sit up watching her breathe for the first 2 weeks, but really, try to take a break and get plenty of rest.
Fantastic news, congratulations!!
I don’t know about you but when we brought home our preemie twins (15 weeks early) in December I was terrified. I don’t know how moms do it without the 4 month long intro to child care we got in the ICU.
While I can’t give any brand names (being that I live in Europe) try for clothing that opens down the front. You can get bodies (onesies?) and babygros that you don’t need to pull over her head and that makes dressing alot easier especially if like us you have a monitor.
I also second the poster/s that said a playmat with dangling attachments-my girls love to play on it still and they are now 8 months old. A sling is also great when she wants attention but you have things that need doing.
Last but not least get plenty of sleep before she comes home- you’ll need it.
I’m so happy and excited about these wonderful news.
(Is there to be no virtual baby shower…? I’d love to send a little something for “our” Simone…. I’m abroad so I can’t do it but please Alexa’s American friends… if there is such a thing pls let also foreigners know.)
I took my preemie home 15 years ago so I’m not the hip up to date insider mom. It’s nice to have a house full of things but don’t fret if you can’t buy it all. The tips above sound very good.
A good carrier and lots of tiny hats and a comfortable swing, yes, I remember I was glad I had them. I used a microwave thingie for sterilizing all those bottles. Don’t know whether they still sell them.
I listened to lots of Mozart (original, not the castrated “baby” versions) and Bach after I took her home. It calmed me and her. But that’s just me, maybe for you something else works. Think of yourself and youngfather too, allow yourself to ask for help, be good to yourself.
You will get used very quickly to her presence at home, believe me, and will soon be the expert mom dishing out advice to others.
I promise.
*tfu tfu tfu* to you!
Remember that in human history of a couple of million years, we only starting accessorizing in the last few thousand. All she absolutely needs is milk and snuggling. That said, a strange percentage of new-baby happiness comes from buying things. I never used many objects my friends said I wouldn’t be able to live without, and other things people said I wouldn’t need turned out to be lifesavers.
You will figure it out, and it will be a blast.
Alexa, I am so pleased for you! I have only just come home from hospital today at 29wks4days pregnant having spent the past 3 days tied to a bed due to preterm “threatened” labour….
Steroid injections – check
Antibiotics – check
Anti contraction patches – check
Ultrasounds – check
Blood tests – check
I am totally exhausted. Thankful that my uterus remins full of a baby who seems set on growing, greatful that I am not now reading your most recent post from an NICU myself, but also EXHAUSTED and more in awe of you than I was before!
I seriously can not begin to tell you just how hard I found the past 3 days in hospital. I really admire that you have survived the months!!
You deserve every little success and I hope that you enjoy the transition from hospital and home as it comes time for Simone to get away from the NICU!
You go girls!
xx Naomi
Discharge planning?! Oh boy, this is soooo cool!
Our son came home at 4lb 12oz with volcanic reflux. I echo Spliz: burp cloths. Can’t have too many of the things! The square acreage of coverage is the important element, because Simone will unerringly aim her regurgitations directly into the only unprotected part of your cleavage.
Our youngster still hasn’t tasted formula milk at 7 months corrected & three solid meals a day. It’s easy-peasy now, but bloody hard endurance work for the first 2 months or so. Simone will have no compunction about demanding that the Mummy milk tanker be available pretty much continuously some nights. Come 4am I used to hit meltdown & despatch husband & child downstairs with some expressed milk & a bottle & instructions to bond quietly!
The fact that our baby was much-longed-for and the end result of a long line of assisted reproductive disasters, meant that I fully expected my patience with him to be boundless, and it surprised me no end when it wasn’t. There were still times when his crying necessitated a swift delivery into the arms of a bleary hubby and an ignominious teary retreat towards the teapot. I was covered in maternal shame & failure: not only had my faulty housing ejected him far too early, I wasn’t any good at mothering either! With the benefit of hindsight – and lots more sleep – all this seems absolutely unremarkable, because babies do push your patience hard!
Simone, however, will commit none of these infant crimes. L’enfant terrible? No no no. Not little Simone. She will be happy & cuddlesome, contented in her fab new nursery. Promise.
My word. We’re not shy about giving advice, are we? Longest posts ever!
A xxx
Not having had a premature infant myself, and my only child now being 33 years old, the only advice I have for a reflux condition is to give Simone a pacifier after feedings. I heard that advice from a pediatric radiologist in my job typing doctor’s reports. The sucking motion of the pacifier somehow calms the reflux some. So, keep those “binkies” on hand. I love and relish all the above information for you from all these wonderful bloggers! Congratulations! :)
Congratulations. What wonderful news. My babies are now 23 and 28 and as a Brit now living in Australia I can’t offer much help with the up-to- date must-haves for the trendy-young-miss-and-her-bodyslave-about-town in the US of A. All I can say is take every bit of help you are offered, forget housework apart from the basics, sleep whenever you get the chance and love that baby girl. I say love because sometimes you are going to find it hard to like her lol! Those times in the wee small hours when nothing works…… You will all survive. Breathing, chocolate, cookies, bourbon all help. For Simone, cuddles, copious quantities of milk and a clean, dry derriere are the most important things.
Enjoy! Keeping us all posted when you get the time would be nice but don’t stress it :-)
Wow! “Discharge” is such a longed for word, but it scared the crap out of me 3 months ago when we were told we could take our preemie twins home. And that was after “only” 5 weeks hospitalization. I can image you feel overjoyed but also a bit overwhelmed at the thought of bringing your beautiful daughter Simone home with you.
Here’s a couple of things I couldn’t live without:
- Screw burpcloths, hello cloth diapers… Even though a regular burpcloth looks huge when held next to a 4 pound preemie’s face (or even it’s whole body), it just doesn’t do the trick…
- A baby carrier/sling. When the world seems just a bit too big for your little girl, it’s the best way to make her feel save. And have your hands free to do things around the house or to keep writing wonderful things about your wonderful girl on this wonderful blog.
- A stroller with carry-cot. If nothing else seems to work, just go for a long walk. Simone will probably fall asleep as soon as you go out the door, and fresh air is good for the both of you. Plus, you are spending time with her in a relaxing way. I always feel refreshed after a good walk, and ready to take on the world again.
- A couple of doors between the nursery and a place in the house where you can take some time off. No matter how much you’ve longed for the day you bring your baby home, there will always be moments when the whole thing seems a bit too much to handle. We’ve waited for this moment for 4 1/2 years. I love every little thing about our twins, every little giggle or cry, and I don’t mind walking around with them 24/7 if they seem to need that. But sometimes I need to just put them away for a little while to calm down and that works better when their cries are muffled by a few closed doors… Or a running shower. Or anything else that works to block out the sound for a couple of minutes. You’ll know soon enough when she really needs to be held and cuddled or when she is just tired from everything that’s happening around her.
- A big dose of self-confidence. Trust yourself! You know best! Even if sometimes you seem to have no idea what to do, it’ll come to you. Just do what feels best. Listen to advice from others, but pick out just those things that work for you and Simone, that feel right. Just nod and smile when you hear advice that makes your toes curl. They mean well, but remember: YOU KNOW BEST!!!
Hope things go smoothly from here on, and that you will soon discover for yourself what things you need and what things have been a waste of money ;-)
My advice would be to always keep some acetominophen (tylenol) suppositories on hand (yes, suppositories). Not for right away, but for when she’s a bit older.
A few times my daughter caught a bug that came with fever and vomiting. We’d give her tylenol to bring the fever down but she’d throw it up. So, dear husband had to run to the store in the wee hours of the morning for a suppository. They work quickly, but only work if you have them on hand!
I remember inserting a suppository at 12:05am on my first Mother’s Day! ;)
Oh wow what wonderful news:
A big huge I second (third?) that re Dr Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block. Saved us.
Also definitely try to get a Miracle Blanket or Swaddle Me if you are planning to swaddle.
A baby monitor saved our sanity and allowed us to sleep a little sounder during the night.
Last thing – I used cotton wool and water instead of baby wipes. I figured that if they are strong enough to take out most stains, they can’t be all that good on little pink parts. Ahem.
I have two kids (2.5 and 1) and have never, ever used a rectal thermometer on them myself. I’m sure assorted medical personnel have, but I haven’t. An axillary reading (under the arm, add one degree – so if it reads 99 the baby’s fever is actually 100) has always been “close enough for government work” around here.
That said, with Simone being a preemie, your doctor may have advised you differently. I just don’t want you to think that it’s necessary to stick things in the baby’s butt unless specifically directed to do so by someone with letters after his or her name.
As far as gear, you might want to get some Mylicon – it’s basically Tums for babies. When they’re crying and gassy and you’ve tried everything else, sometimes a bit of Mylicon helps. My doctor says they don’t do anything, to which I say, “Great, then it doesn’t matter if I use them every day because they’re the only thing that stop the screaming.”
Boy, it’s amazing how fast we forget what it’s like to be home with a newborn. I agree with whoever suggested a sling. I really like my adjustable pouches from http://www.kangarookorner.com, and I’ll bet Simone would like one of the snuggly fleece ones this fall.
I had a lot of breastfeeding issues with my first, so if you go down that road I’ll be happy to help. I think the main thing to remember is that it gets easier as their little mouths get bigger. A lot of the problems I had went away when her mouth got big enough to get a really good latch. So, if you have trouble remember that it will get better.
So excited for you! Congratulations!!
I don’t know anything about babies, just wanted to say congratulations!! So happy for you.
Well I don’t know if I can top up-the-bum tablets, but I’ll try: when Ben was discharged after two months I was still very rattled (from everything, plus the loss of Liam) and what healed both of us was a mai tei carrier, similar to this:
http://www.babyhawk.com/
So very pretty, and I still carry him in it with ease (as opposed to a baby bjorn, which will send you into wracking back spasms within five minutes with any baby over about 6 pounds).
The mai tei was my third trimester. It was baby kryptonite. He was always asleep, always purring, and I adored it.
I’m so thrilled for you (cautious jumping for joy). I could just picture you wandering the aisles, doing simply what you’re supposed to be able to do, just get stuff for your kid. That’s so great. xo
First, you need the ability to take all advice with a grain of salt.
Take what advice suits you and discard everything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
The best things I ever had?
- All in one suits. Amy practically lived in them until she was bigger.
- Plain zinc cream for nappy rash (diaper?). Plain was better for us because it stayed on longer than zinc/castor mixture. Also, zinc cream, or lanolin is great for nipples.
- Boobs. THE must have accessory.
- A nappy bag that you can carry comfortably.
Things I found I DIDN’T need?
Cot sheets. I just used straight sheets from our bed folded over until they were about the right size. I also used to use a bunny rug (not sure what you call them, small baby blanket things?) over the top of the sheet to make cleaning up baby puke easier. Much nicer to just drag off the top blanket and throw it in the wash than to have to change an entire bed.
I didn’t use the gallons of baby oil/lotion/powder that I was given. Baby wipes and a little sorbolene/zinc cream for excema was easier to lug around in a nappy bag.
Something I couldn’t have lived without? SUPPORT. Babies are hard work, breastfeeding and lack of sleep is hard work. Having someone to cry to who ‘got’ it was invaluable.
Like I said, use what you like and ignore the rest. I’m so excited for you.
Well done miss Simone!
Our absolute life saver, and probably one of the best experiences for our babies, have been slings. In Australia we have a ‘hug-a-bub’ – I think you call it a ‘Moby’. Really important to help the baby feel secure, close to you, feeling your heartbeat, reassured by your smell.
Anything on attachment parenting by William Sears is great. A lot about following your instincts, being close to your baby, & recognising the importance of your relationship with your baby. Pretty much it’s about being close to Simone and letting her know that you are there for her.
Our twins have thrived with baby wearing, breast feeding, and once they were a little bit bigger, they have loved co-sleeping.
I could go on and on! We were given a lot of stuff and haven’t really had to buy many clothes. Like someone else here we try not to use too many chemicals on their skin – it’s too sensitive (Johnsons is evil- that’s why it’s no good for babies & they use petro chemicals). We wash their bums with warm water, use lovely German creams with chamomile, organic cotton, and baby sensitive washing powder.
The most important purchase though is the Moby. I wouldn’t go with a Baby Bjorn because she is so little and they don’t offer the same closeness as a sling.
And she’ll need a lovely mobile over the change table! You should have something left over for a gin after all that.
very warm wishes to the three of you,
from
Louise, Molly and our twins Lucie & Joe
Oops – this is the correct address for the blog: badbandicoot.blogspot.com
these are THE BEST swaddling blankets (they’re available at target.com). they’re great because they are big, and although Simone is small now, she will not always be. we have two and I wish I had bought more! GOOD LUCK!
http://www.swaddledesigns.com/
Car seat, diapers, wipes (I always ran them under warm water anyhoo, so I didn’t really care much what flavor they started out as) and enough weather appropriate one-sies that you can nap instead of doing wash when a few are poopy and lying in the corner. Really, that is all. Mom is another story however: gift cert for massage, dark beer (increases milk supply! not to mention relaxation factor), bubble bath, new sheets, new slippers (toss those NICU thiings), Netflix account. I’m sure I’m missing a lot on this part of the list . . . Simone, you rock. Get to the right address, already.
Oh my gosh! I don’t have any children, so no advice, just lots of celebration! I can’t wait to hear that Simone is home and happy and thriving.
May I request photos of some of the wee clothes and cunning little hats? Perhaps Simone could model one or two? I think I would die of glee.
baby nail files. Much easier to file those tiny nails while she sleeps than it is to clip them.
Crib sheets and lots of them. And water proof pads and lots of them. Put the water proof pad on the mattress, cover with a crib sheet. Put on ANOTHER water proof pad, cover with ANOTHER crib sheet. Then, if she dispenses any liquids in the wee hours of the night, you strip off the tops set of sheets and pad, and Voila! bed is still made and you can all go back to sleep without frantic searches through cupboards for sheets.
lots of diaper wipes but don’t waste money on a warmer. Just scrunch the wipe up in your hand for a few seconds if you want to warm it. Me, I wiped my son with cold wipes. Shrug.
Diaper Genie. With lots of refill packages.
50 trillion diapers.
Avoid baby clothes with snaps in the back or with hoods. They look cute but they are a pain in the you know what.
That’s all I can think of right now. Then again, my kid is nearly 7 years old. I’m sure there’s a lot of new necessities on the market that I am not even aware of.
Yay, Simone! You Go Girl!
I’ve got no baby advice. But…but…she’s COMING HOME!!! HOORAY!! This is the happy beginning I’ve been praying for. I’m so glad to see things working out for your little family. Yay you guys!
Never posted here but have been following your saga and sending prayers and well wishes your way. Yay for all of you!
First off — I agree with those that say trust your own instincts. People have SOOOO many strong opinions about everything from clothing to breastfeeding to reflux to colic to bathing to…you get the idea. But all of it? You will figure out what works best for your family. One thing I’ve learned in parenting is that there’s very very very rarely one right way of doing something and no one person or book has all the answers.
That said — two lifesavers for my reflux guy — the vibrating bouncy and the swing, the swing, the swing. Without the swing, I might not have peed for six months.
So very happy for you, Alexa and for your darling (and most winning!) beautiful Simone.
Oh, Alexa, what wonderful news! I’ve never been happier to feel whiplash… This post made me laugh out loud. It’s so good to “hear” you so happy and hilarious.
The other commenters have said all I was going to say (Happiest Baby on the Block, burp cloths, swaddling blanket, Lanolin for that pesky nipple chapping, stuff that snaps in the front), although “pacifier” didn’t get quite the, uh, plug it deserved. Pacifiers rock, as I think Simone has found out already. I love the Avent ones. And it’s definitely worth having several on hand and sterilized at any one time, because gravity seems to work extra-well on them…
White noise machine. After living in the NICU that child is likely going to need noise to be able to sleep.
A swing. For the baby who needs constant motion and the mommy who’s arms (and bladder) need a break. Or the refluxy baby who needs to be kept semi-upright as you change their crib sheets for the 3rd time that hour and start the laundry, not realizing you’d need more than 3 crib sheets. We love the Graco Sweatpeace because it vibrates and swings and plays white noise or music (even MP3s). And it plugs in instead of needing batteries (though it will use those too, if you prefer).
And if you’re using bottles, I HIGHLY recommend just starting with Dr. Brown’s. (BPA-free will be in stores in a couple weeks.) The nipples are the most similar to the disposable NICU nipples, and they come in preemie.
Batteries. Lots of them in all different sizes. Everything uses batteries, and you don’t want to run out.
The one other thing I loved for the really tiny baby is the Boppy Newborn Lounger. It was a great place for them to sit before they were big enough for the swings and bouncers.
I’ve been reading your blog for about two years and this is my first comment, so yeah, I’m properly ashamed. Also, I’m ecstatic about the great news! I don’t have babies, so I won’t even bother with advice (I only read mommy blogs, mind you)–but I would LOVE to be able to send you something that you could use/enjoy. I’d consider it a minor contribution towards many hours of great entertainment (reading your blog). Also, I’m rooting for Simone and I’m beyond happy she’s doing well! So–give me a PO Box, anything (or even an Amazon wishlist, why not?)–I’d really love to be able to do something for you!
Congratulations to Simone!
Everyone has given great advice. Trust your Mommy instincts even if you don’t feel like you have them yet.
But I can’t resist with my advice…
We LOVE the Miracle Blanket. But, I would say that if Simone is currently not sleeping swaddled, then let her go without it, because it is just a crutch you will have to get rid of later down the line (speaking as my 7 month old is STILL in the MB).
Ditto on the Moby Wrap (or other carrier). It is awesome. You may have to try it a few times before she warms up to it.
I liked Pampers diapers, but Huggies wipes. You can tear the Huggies in half when they’re tiny babies – saves wipes and is easier to wipe with.
My biggest suggestion for sleep in the future is to start a bedtime routine ASAP, even if she doesn’t really go to bed/wakes up every 2 hours, etc. For our routine we change diaper, lube her up with Burt’s Bees lotion, put a footed sleeper on her, read Goodnight Moon, and let her play with her taggie blanket for about 10 minutes. Swaddle while singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, and lights out. Takes about 20 minutes.
I ma very happy that hopefully your NICU nightmare will end soon!
Oh, I LOVE those Pampers Sensitive wipes. I bought a box for myself, to keep in the bathroom. You’ll thank me for that tip one day.
Come on, Simone! You can do it!
It’s probably been mentioned (I didn’t read all of the comments) but Simone is probably used to “noise” so, I would consider getting something to provide a little white noise in her room. We used an ocean waves machine for my son, and he’s a GREAT sleeper! I know moms who just use little fans (pointed away from the baby at the wall) and just that low hum sound is enough.
So happy to hear she’s on her way home soon! Trust yourself that’s the most importanat thing, and sleep when she does and everything will be fine.
Hugs!
Heather
You might want to get a fire extinguisher in case Simone does, you know, spontaneous combust!
I second the noisemaker – my NICU darling couldn’t sleep unless the radio was on thanks to weeks of NICU noise. Anything that sounded like a garbage truck backing up was soothing “music” to her ears!
Baby sling – wear that kid. My NICU girlie didn’t like being “worn” but my other kids sure as heck did.
As for the rest, I found simple/basic was best. The other stuff I think is just for the parents. But – lots of onesies, a few receiving blankets and burp cloths and a place to sleep (crib, bassinet, dresser drawer, box) – thanks to reflux and constant congestion, my NICU kidlets slept quite happily in their carseats initially. That and all a mother’s love and some milk regularly are really all they need.
Congrats! Going home will seem really weird at first – you spend the whole NICU time living for that day and then it arrives and you feel completely out of your element!
First of all, this lurker is *so* happy to hear that Simone will be going home soon!
Rather prosaic advice from me — don’t use baby wipes unless you’re out & about. Instead, get a boatload of baby washcloths — they’re more environmentally friendly since they’re infinitely reusable, and they do a better job of actually removing matter (wipes tend to spread it). Much less chance of a yeasty diaper rash. We just kept a basket of about 50 on the change table; 2 or 3 warm wet washcloths worked well for all but the most impressive squelches.
They’re also very handy for small spills/burps — we used them far more than we did receiving blankets, but we also had a very non-spitup-py infant.
Also seconding the call for zinc ointment.
Something surprisingly helpful was a bunting bag. We liked one my mother gave us from nightsinwhiteflannel.com, and it’s become our standard “welcome new baby” gift.
Finally, I recommend television shows on DVD for breastfeeding sessions. At least initially, both hands will be occupied (one supporting a breast, the other the baby), and nursing can go on a *long* time per session (I had a cluster feeder –oy– my son had seen all 7 seasons of Buffy by the time he was 4 months old).
Again, congratulations!!
if you are of the mind, binkies. for those times when you don’t feel like being gnawed on, or need to, you know, plug her up.
much better (and safer!) than the booze they used to give babies in “tonics”.
speaking of, picking up a six pack of Guinness might be in order.
congrats, huzzah, and best wishes!
First of all, I think it’s fantastic that Simone keeps winning Baby of the Week. Congratulations Simone!
There have already been many excellent suggestions, so I’ll just second the ones I thought worked well for us.
1. Set up a bedtime routine early: yesyesyes! Although she had a night waking until she was about 6 months, we established a bedtime routine practically from birth and we have NEVER had a problem with Eliza fighting us over bedtime. (Knocks on wood) It’s one of those things that might not make that much sense now, since Simone will be waking up during the night, but it lays the groundwork. Since our routine always included reading lots of books, she loves to be read to, and it calms her down.
2. Yes to cloth diapers as burp cloths — more absorbent and bigger.
3. Bouncy seats — you may want to think about having more than one — for each end of your home, so that you don’t have to go hunting around and dragging it all over.
4. A lamp which can be set to very low — it’ll be gentler on all of you during midnight feeding and changing, and Simone is less likely to think it’s party time.
Burp cloths, lots of them. Receiving blankets, lots of them. Diapers, wipes, onesies. I don’t use baby powder or oil on Bear. Don’t buy a ton of diapers because believe it or not, she will outgrow those first 2-3 sizes fast. Dr. Smith’s diaper rash cream. I have tried them ALL I promise and it is the only kind that works. My neighbor ran out and bought me some one night when I was in tears over a bad diaper rash Bear had. Oh and get a swing. It is the miracle gift from God that allowed me to shower, sleep, eat, etc. The baby shouldn’t spend too much time in it but it is great when you need 15-30 minutes to get something done without an extra appendage.
“Goodnight Moon”
“Guess How Much I Love You”
“Oh the Places You’ll Go”
And anything by Sandra Boynton and Mercer Mayer
(You know – until she’s ready for Shakespeare!!!)
Happy Thouhgts!
Liz
Another lurker who is thrilled to read Simone will finally be home soon.
I am another fan of the Miracle Blanket. You can find knock-offs for a little less money, and they work just as well. Another good thing to have is a sleep sack for when she is a little older and the weather is cooler—thinking of next fall and winter. You don’t want to use blankets in the crib until Simone is able to keep them off her face. Sleep sacks are a wonderful invention.
I realize this is repeated information. I just wanted to nod along with the ladies as if we were all standing in your kitchen at a baby shower, swapping stories/theories/advice.
Wishing you a happy homecoming soon.
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