Or Two Small Ostrich Eggs.
We moved Saturday, and all that up and down the stairs meant that Sunday, the morning of the march, I awoke with my calf muscles curled into tight balls like frightened hedgehogs. But I did it, I Marched Shuffled for Babies, and I had a wonderful time.
The weather was quite nice in the end, cold, but sunny, and the walk itself was around a lovely lake. As I was driving into the park I got briefly teary at the sight of the first March for Babies sign. I knew, of course, that it was not an event specifically and solely in honor of Simone, but I was grateful all the same. And sore legs or not, it felt good to be walking for a cause I believe in, and for all of you—in 25 states plus England, Ireland, and Brazil—who donated. I can’t wait to take Simone on the walk next year, and I am hoping it will be something the two of us can share together for years to come until she hits puberty and decides it is just another lame thing I am forcing her to do because I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HER, GOD. Incidentally, I was the largest fundraiser on my team (meaning that I raised the largest amount of money, not that I was the most rotund—though as the team was composed primarily of lithesome 22-year-old NICU nurses, I may have set the zaftig record as well) and my prize was a family photo shoot and $100 print credit with this woman. I am so excited I could spit. I will schedule the shoot as soon as Simone is off oxygen and cannula-free, so hurry up baby! Breathe for mama! Breathe for her need to obsessively document your every move! And, you know, for your health, or whatever.
Last night I went out with my baby brother and I am still recovering. I had a particularly clumsy start to the evening—I nearly killed myself stepping out of the shower, having forgotten that my new tub is a much-higher clawfoot, and then I fell off my heels walking out to the taxi. Once in the very fancy bar of the very fancy restaurant I found myself unable to get into my seat at the table without awkwardly stepping over the entire chair. All this before my first sidecar.
And then my brother FORCED me to order another. And then we went into dinner and found that we had been given a complimentary bottle of Veuve Clicquot. Max is a chef and works front of the house at the best restaurant in the Cities, so he is used to this sort of treatment, but I am not, and so felt obliged to have a glass or two because FREE CHAMPAGNE!! And then I ate a bunch of rich food (gnocchi with lobster and butter sauce, veal sous vide, talleggio with honeycomb, and some sort of cheese filled crepe with figs and basalmic), which addled my senses enough that I ordered a glass of red wine. I did not finish either the wine or my second sidecar, but the damage was done. I vaguely remember announcing my hatred of young people, forgetting how recently some members of the table had attained suffrage. One of Max’s friends, a medical examiner, was there, and I both asked her what percentage of her work hours, approximately, she spends fighting crime, and congratulated her on her upcoming move to Baltimore by mentioning what a high murder rate they have (good for business!). And then I went home, and woke up at four a.m. inexplicably naked and sweating, with a pounding head and a firm conviction that I was only moments from death. I’m a regular Paris Hilton in a nursing bra, over here.
So I don’t think I’ll be doing that again anytime soon. I like a glass of wine as much as the next girl—maybe more, depending upon who this proverbial next girl is—but drunkenness is not for me. I don’t know if I have ever told you this, but I once, about five years ago, called my mother and brother in the middle of the night convinced that I had alcohol poisoning. This is noteworthy only because at the time I had consumed exactly two (2) Manhattans over a six-hour period. OH, the LAUGHTER. They still trot that story out every few months. What they don’t know is that despite their reassurances, I slept on my side that night to prevent a potentially deadly aspiration. Ah, carefree youth, I hardly knew ye! In fact, I never had even a passing acquaintance with ye, having been born at the tender age of 45.
We have not yet unpacked, which makes moving about the new apartment a treacherous undertaking indeed. And as the presence of my bosom is required at the hospital for much of the day, I am not sure how we will ever find the time to tackle Box Mountain. Yet Simone’s homecoming looms ever-closer.
One of the Baby of the Week judges pointed out that Simone is becoming quite fat and succulent-looking, and I must agree. She weighs five and a half pounds now, or about the equivalent of 28 average-sized adult hamsters. Why, I remember when she was only a little bigger than half-a-dozen gerbils! They grow up so fast.






88 Comments
I am so glad that you walk went so well. Simone is so beautiful. I am so happy that she is coming home soon and I’m sure your boxes will get unpacked soon enough. If I didn’t live on the west coast I would offer to come and help :) Good luck to you and you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
I have been reading your blog recently and just wanted to say I love your writing. And I love how much your love your girl. She is beautiful.
I’m so glad you had a night out! Enjoy it now because when she gets home it will be an avalance of not sleeping. My son is only ten months old and I still shudder to think of those first couple of weeks. I think you forget eventually, but I’m not there yet.
Simone is blinding me with her beauty, and the fabulosity of that onesie. I think she’s singing “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” to herself in this shot.
Simone looks awesome! woohoo for the walk and prize–nice!
I sooo know what you mean about the alcohol paranoia…I have often spent half the night waking myself up just as I’m about to fall asleep b/c I’m afraid if I go to sleep it’ll be the end of me. I seriously thought I was the only one…thank you for proving I’m not!
Simone knows things. She just hasn’t deemed any of us mortals worthy of sharing. Yet. And, oh– the fabulousness of that onesie– babygirl is stylin.
I’m absolutely digging what Simone is wearing. It looks great on her!
And Simone is looking absolutely fabulous. Those CHEEKS. My GOD. Squishable.
Congrats on your walk!!!
Simone is beautiful!!!!
I am so glad to read this email where you seem to be feeling pretty good. In fact, you sound kind of happy! And that makes me happy!
Eeee! I love Simone’s wee outfit!! I can really see a resemblance to Scott too. Congrats you guys!
Cutest baby eh-VER? Mais Oui - as in may we die and go to heaven for just an itty bitty shot at those adorable squozable cheeks?
As my mama likes to say - she is so cute it just makes my ovaries ache . . .
Congrats on the walk!
Oh the cute! Am so clucky over here and everyone seems to have newborns!
I had a few glasses of wine the other day, first time in ages. I swear, my head spun and everything. It was bad.
Thank goodness I was at home.
Ok, I HAVE to comment on this post.
First, who is this chubby, wubby, little sugarlump and what has she done with the itty, bitty, skinny ball of fight that was Simone?
Second, I LOOOOVVE that little outfit. SO cheerful and pretty.
Oh so much happiness that you’re moved, that Little Miss is ever closer to going home and that your walk went well.
That kid is going to have such fun…
I am adrift with consternation at the thought of you teetering about with high heels on and an embonpoint of the post-maternity variety.
You make me LARF (said with South London accent for full effect).
I love Simone’s funkadelic onesie, I love your tales of high jinks in high heels. I love the vision of Die zaftige Mutti on a semi-bender with her brother (Gosh, he sounds like the kind of bro I wish I had)and I must say I do wonder how you have managed to fit all of this in to your brief, short life. You make me feel hellishly old - I am a mere 45 years. Under other circs, this would give me the edge re. wisdom et al. As I carry on reading your Meisterwerk, I must acknowledge that that ain’t so.
Bring that girl home, and let the party begin. Boxes? So what? They’re very stimulating for young ‘uns to focus on, so I’ve heard. All those edges and surfaces and general brown-ness. Perfecto.
PS Where the devil did Simone’s onesie come from?
I know from experience that 5 pounds is huge!! my baby is 5 months now and still only 9 pounds. But I cherish every ounce of it. You’re doing so well and I’m glad you got your drink on even if it ended in a little pain. I too hate to feel drunk.
Have been enjoying your site for months and your little peanut is the most healthy beautiful little nut I have ever seen. Love your dinner/drinks out story, since having a kiddo I sometimes fear my life has casually slipped into this universe of nursing, diaper changing and constantly being covered in some sort of infant bodily fluid. Reading stories like yours remind me how nice it is to go out and feel part of the world again, even with the steep morning after tax ;-)
I discovered your blog recently, and wanted you to know how beautiful Simone is and here’s one more person cheering your family on! I love your writing, observations of daily life for you and Simone. Good luck with moving; one day empty moving boxes can be used for imagination play and building forts with your daughter!
Once again you’ve got me cracking up. That sweet, sweet little Simone. Love that picture.
Ooh, that onesie must be Zutano. It is so bee-you-ti-ful. I feel you on the going out with youngin’s wantin’ to get fucked up. Little brothers will do that to you. Mine has plenty of times. Before and after baby.
I am so glad Simone is coming home soon. It will be a whole, brave new world for your family, but a grand and awesome one as well.
As much as you’ve been through, you’re in for a fun world of so much more. I can’t wait to hear your posts about it.
I think the hatred of the young people is commensurate with how badly we tolerate alcohol as we age. So “young people suck” + “free champagne” / “raging hangover” = “those damn kids these days”.
Please - free champagne. Of course you had to partake. HAD TO. To not would be criminal on levels only seen on “America’s Most Wanted”.
Simone is certainly beginning to look as if she’s been on some lush pasture… it must be absolutely top-grade Mummy milk! Well done for keeping going with the boobs; pumping not nice but it does get you there. She’ll soon be rolling over to wiggle her chubby little beflowered bottom at you. Can’t wait for the next movie!
Charlie came home at five pounds even, and what I remember most from that time is how delectable and butterbally he seemed. Simone looks delectable. May you be snacking freely upon her in the comfort of your own new home soon!
Dying of the cuteness here!
Sounds like you hold your liquor about as well as I do. Lightweights ahoy! This is one of the reasons I do not drink anymore. Your dinner sounds FANTASTIC though…I am drooling over that crepe.
Simone looks wonderfully chubby! I could just nibble those cheeks all day. I hope you get to bring her home to the Box Cave soon. (To the Box Cave, Simone!)
A night out indulging sounds as though it was well overdue. Good on you Alexa- you’re a champion. And 5 and a half pounds is huge! Definitely home time.
Oh, Alexa, you have spawned PERFECTION! Good luck with Box Mountain!
That’s great that you got through the walk!
Simone is looking fantastic!
You still pushed through with the walk after moving? You deserved the wine! Simone is looking lovely and ready to come home. More pictures!
Free champagne? That’s kind of my idea of heaven.
Glad the March went well - and Simone, she’s looking positively beautiful (love that onesie!)
And with chipmunk cheeks no less! What’s she storing in there?
So gorgeous!
Congratulations on successfully completing the walk. I have to admit (okay, I’m a hormonal mess right now, cut me a break) that I got a little teary at the idea of you and Simone walking together at next year’s event. Yay!
Nice work getting all liquored up and insulting the other dinner guests. You make us proud. Sorry that you overindulged, but it’s good to remind yourself every now and again why doing shit like that is A Bad Idea.
If I could bottle up time, energy and some speedy & efficient unpackers, I’d send them right over to you. Hope you get at least a little bit unpacked before Miss Simone arrives at home.
What a great picture of her. She’ll be dowright pudgdy soon, and we’ll love every single minute of it. I’m so happy that things are going well. So freaking happy.
She certainly is pudgy looking for a member of Club NICU. I’m just amazed at how far she has come! Mine was born at 31 wks (currently 32 1/2) and is far less porky than she. That’s not to say I feel your pain - I know it’s been a long, scary road for you. Still, I wanted to let you know that your blog and sense of humor through it all leaves me amazed and makes my time in the NICU more bearable - thanks. You and Simone are both one of a kind!
She looks great, and I love your comparisons!
In a similar vein, when I turned 27, my brother asked me how it felt to be “three cubed”. Math fun, how unlike me!
Zutano - No. 164 - Sugar Blossom - Tasty indeed. Those cheeks make me swoon.
Congrats on the walk, I was thinking you as I watched it snow all freaking weekend long. And congrats on the weight. She’s plumper than I was when I was born, and I was nearly full term. Definitely time to go home.
Congrads on the new digs! And on Simone looking so heatlhy. Great gods girl, sounds you had quite the evening out! Good for you! Much need. Best wishes.
Just ditto everything. Those cheeks. MMM.
My goodness, she is getting cute! I can she she’s put on weight. Keep the pictures coming.
she is just getting prettier and prettier!
That is one gorgeous girl. Just gorgeous. And her wardrobe puts me to shame.
I have a strong desire to zerbert the little fleshy area under her ear!! Is zerbert a verb?
Night out on the town - Now that was Paris Hilton Style!
And that lil beauty is scrumptious
My downfall is Hendricks Gin. Good going down, bad when it turns to methane. Simone looks lovely in her little kimono outfit. So so exciting.
Oh, Simone, you’re GORGEOUS!
And tell your Momma she HAS to tell us where she found your adorable onesie!
NUM NUM NUM BABY CHEEKS! Delicious! Awesome outfit, too.
She’s absolutely beautiful! And at 5.5 lbs huge too…or at least compared to what she was just a couple months ago.
How adorable is she? I love that outfit on her and her cute cheeks!
I think I may have found my new dinner companion! Sweet!
G’luck unpacking, and get the hamster crusher home already.
Look at that gorgeous girl! I don’t know how the nurses can resist kissing the top of that sweet fuzzy little head all day long. (Soon, that will be YOUR full-time job.)
Your night on the town sounds like a carnival of excess. I get so giddy when I have to attend a gala event that I eat too much rich food and stay up too late and then I spend the next two days feeling nauseated and cranky. Fortunately, I don’t drink alcohol or I’d be even more of a horror than I usually am when my quiet routine of mild pleasures gets thrown into a tailspin.
Simone is getting to be a big girl. A very cute big girl. I love her onesie.
Seriously, she is completely beautiful. Those cheeks.
congrats on the move, the walk(which everyone bailed on me! Next year I’m going to drag all of those bitches to the walk site by their FEET, if I must!) and your killer way of “dissin” the young people after a drink(or 10).
I love Simone’s onesie too, adorable.
That is a stunning T-shirt. Where does Simone find her fashion sense?!
She is breathtaking beautiful! Those cheeks are getting plump!
I love her! She’s so adorable! Congrats on the walk and the fundraising.
cutest little baby girl. love the outfit.
happy (ugh) unpacking– wine helps.
Been reading you ever since you were awaiting our girl and am thrilled to see her going so well. Enjoy every single second with her. They grow sooooo fast and then they are gone on to bigger things.
God Bless
Just wanted to say Simone is looking great! Good luck with the mountain of boxes….
I too do the sleeping on my side thing, despite the fact that I rarely (never?) drink enough for it to be warranted.
p.s. Simone is beautiful!
I so want to nibble those baby cheeks that I may have to go drag my two year old out of day care so I can smooch on her. Good thing I’ll have another new baby soon . . . Do you realize that Simone is absolutely huge by NICU standards?!? She’ll be in big girl clothes any day now. Wow!! What a raging success she is!! Hooray! Celebrate with more champagne!
Oh, sidecars, I loves them. Simone’s little chipmunk cheeks are so cute!
Oh my GOSH, those CHEEKS! And that CHIN! She is adorably munchable!
What a beautiful, beautiful baby.
So, I am a new aunt and very, very partial to my nephew, but Simone????? She is all kinds of adorable. Congratulations!!!
Does that kimono come in adult sizes? Love it.
She is a doll!
What an absolutely beautiful baby girl! 5 1/2 pounds!! My full term girl was 6 pounds 12 ounces. Wow, Simone is absolutely stunningly beautiful! You’ll kiss those cheeks and then kiss her tummy and her little hands and feet, and she’ll giggle.
Congratulations on finishing the walk, and winning! That is wonderful.
I don’t drink very often just because I don’t like what alcohol does to me. But once many years ago, I got inebriated with an old boyfriend, and he said something funny, and both of us started laughing. Pretty soon, the more we laughed, the more we felt the need to laugh harder. This went on for hours upon hours, and we both woke up with very sore ribs, stomachs and face cheeks from laughing so much. I still laugh when I think about it.
You’ll unpack a little at a time, then suddenly, no more boxes! Congrats on your new little Flotsam home, filled with love and precious baby girl! :)
Well you certainly deserved a night out more than anybody, but sorry it had to come back to bite you.
By my - Simone looks so great! And that is the cutest little onesie I’ve ever seen!
she is sooo beautiful!
omg what an adorable little outfit…i will come back and read the rest of your post later…
oooh! i love simone’s new jams!
So, so adorable! Does she have on those little leg
warmer thingies?
Oh, and small, small world…I am in a cooking club with Mandy’s sister and I go to scrapbooking camp with Mandy twice a year. How weird is that? She is an amazing photographer and super sweet! You and Simone will have a great time having your pictures taken.
oh oh oh oh oh. she is gorgeous. really and truly. and i wish desperately that i could chomp on her succulent cheeks.
congrats on the move! (you don’t sound as… neurotic?… as you would have every right to sound.) congrats on the march. i am so proud to feel like i sort of kind of shared in your story and the amazing love and grace you are sharing with us all.
She so adorable. I could eat her up, beautiful flowered onesie and all!
I missed your new baby must-haves post, but wanted to mention something that I found so fantastic with my two girls. A pump-top thermos and little pads for diaper changing, (I like the Curity cover sponges from Quality Medical Supplies, part #68-1792). I would fill the thermos each morning with hot water and then use the pads and warm water for diaper changes throughout the day instead of baby wipes. So much gentler on tender baby skin, and it just felt so much nicer to wipe little bottoms, (and faces, necks and hands!), with warm water instead of chemicals.
Can’t wait to read about baby Simone’s homecoming! Good luck!
Loving the onesie. She looks great!
Congrats on your marathon shuffle. :)
Simone looks completely awesome, I must say, in that delicious onesie.
Oh your young drinking days sound so similar to mine! Simone looks so edible in that onesie! I love it! Congrats on your walk– or shuffle!
Simone is stunning. She has gorgeous, Winston-Churchill style cheeks just like my daughter had - and my son, for that matter. She is absolutely beautiful. Truly.
I am so happy that you seem to have passed (most) of the storm with your preemie. You must be feeling the coils of anxiety loosening, at last. I am so happy for you both.
As for the booze: I love me some champagne (or cava; or cheap white wine mixed with sparkling water - we’re not fussy over here). Drink up! You’re only young once.
x
Glad you had a night out..we all need that now and then! And congrats (and thanks) for your part in the March of Dimes, that is awesome.
Finally, she is so beautiful and I adore her outfit!!! Such a little fashionista :)
She is such a beautiful baby girl! I love her outfit. She’s a doll baby!!!!
Oh goodness, she is a beautiful girl. Just love her and hug her!
My name is Andy, and I am ten years old. My school is raising money for the March of Dimes.
My mom told me about babies that are born too early, and showed me your website. Simone is really cute. She reminds me of my little brother! She has pretty hair. I hope my fourth grade raises a lot of money!
Congratulations on your fundraising march!
Simone is really growing like a proverbial weed! She is adorable, of course.
LOL about your night on the town. Ah, I remember nights like that myself, that waking up at 4 a.m. inexplicably naked experience. And then in the morning you find you left all your clothes scattered, one piece at a time, in a trail to the bedroom…
What a wonderful post Alexa. A very busy weekend indeed. Congratulations on getting through it all in one piece. Hey, if you don’t finish the unpacking well I’m sure Simone will help you with the boxes when she’s a bit bigger lol!
Nearly home now and with such an adorable little bundle. However, it’s probably a good idea to keep up the leg exercises for those nights you are pacing the floor with your very own little Madam-who-does-not-want-to-sleep, and sees no reason why you shouldn’t join her in the wee small hours. Oh the joys…. and, yes, it will be joyful.
I had such a nice time talking with you at the March for Babies and glad to hear that I’m not the only one who got teary eyed seeing the signs driving into the park! I didn’t expect to feel weapy. Next year we can bring our little ones (and make them hold onto those damn balloons!)
Don’t worry too much about unpacking. In fact just leave those boxes until next year and you can build some nice little forts for her to crawl through.
She is SO beautiful! :)
Holy crap, she’s a giant. A gorgeous giant!
She is growing into such a pretty little lady! My son and I walked this weekend in NY, and we especially thought of Simone. God Bless.