Due Time.
I got only one uninterrupted hour of sleep last night. One hour is enough time for many things—making piecrust, getting a haircut—but a night’s restful slumber is not one of them. I am realizing, belatedly, that sleep deprivation is cumulative, meaning that what seemed manageable a week ago now results in me whisper-snapping “What is the matter? WHAT??” at my poor crying baby at three a.m. Mother of the Year!
Said baby has become exponentially fussier, either due to her reflux or the fact that she has decided to really commit to the role of newborn now that her adjusted age is out of the negative numbers. Tragically, the gypsy swaddle seems to have stopped working, and Simone has now decided she must nurse to sleep after her night bottles, which would be fine—not great, you understand, but acceptable—except that she will then only sleep until I attempt to move her.
When she is not actively crying at night she is grunting angrily and whining “Meeeh. Eh. Ehh. Ahihh. Meheh. Ehhhhhh!” But the moment someone gives up on sleep, disconnects the apnea monitor, and takes her into the living room to hold, she is down for the count. Not that either Scott or I can remember how to count, at this point.
Simone had her first appointment with the pediatrician yesterday, and holy hell, but I hate car seats. I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to force Simone’s legs through what turned out to be the arm straps, and am already experiencing anticipatory anxiety about repeating the whole rigmarole tomorrow for her eye appointment.
The pediatrician, in what was undoubtedly a move calculated to soothe anxious mothers, shook my hand at the end of the appointment and said “You’re doing a great job.” Calculated or not, it was appreciated, especially after being told that Simone needs to gain more weight. Full-term babies are expected to gain half an ounce a day, but preemies are held to a higher standard, which hardly seems fair. I have taken the doctor’s pronouncement to mean that I must introduce more bacon and heavy cream into my diet. To fortify my milk, you see. For the baby.
But while Simone’s growth concerns me, it is in a “Huh, I guess I’ll step up the feeding schedule” way, rather than one characterized by diaper-weighing and Google-induced hysteria. This has been the biggest surprise since our homecoming, just how calm and almost…lackadaisical I am as a mother. It is easily the best thing to come from Simone’s varied and several brushes with death, this feeling that as long as she’s breathing, the rest is gravy. I always expected that I would be the sort of parent who keeps spreadsheets detailing her kid’s every feeding and bowel movement, but instead I make sure she eats every three-ish hours, and gets her medicines every 12-ish hours, and otherwise merely go about my business with my baby in the sling all day, licking the occasional dropped crumb from her head.
Simone has started spitting up more, and your recommendation that I stock up on cloth diapers was the best baby advice I received. In fact, if you are pregnant right now, let me tell you that no matter how silly you feel filling your cart with what seems like an excessive quantity of Gerber prefolds, trust me when I say that YOU DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH. Take the number of packages you think would be reasonable, double it, and then add two or three more.
The spitting up doesn’t seem to faze Simone one bit, and in fact only renews her appetite. She is like a tiny Roman.
She also appears to be under the misguided impression that milk courses under my skin like a river, and will attempt to latch on to whatever part of me happens to be closest—thigh, shoulder, collarbone—and become furious when no sustenance is forthcoming. If she is hungry enough, even eating will upset her, something I find baffling. Say you’re a baby. You want food, the food source is in your mouth, but instead of eating you prefer to wail and fling your giant bobbling head from side to side? What’s your motivation? Simone would be a star on this website.
This last Saturday was my due date. Go ahead and roll that around in your mind for awhile. Though I would be hard-pressed to categorize the pregnancy as “successful,” I am ever, ever mindful of how much worse things could have been, and how lucky I am to be here, with my sweet, wiggling, living daughter.
112 Comments
Awww she’s so beautiful and you are such a good mama! I can’t even begin to comprehend the joy/exhaustion combo you must be feeling but keep it up (I’ve heard they have to sleep eventually – albeit in the car on the way to somewhere you will eventually have to move them)
P.S. I love the Oral B Pulsar as well – other electric toothbrushes make my teeth feel itchy. My only complaint is that they don’t come in more colors.
I feel your pain. I have three boys and none of them slept worth a damn for the first six weeks unless they were on their tummies on someone’s chest. They did learn eventually, though–a good thing, too, since it’s unseemly for an eight-year-old to sleep with his face buried in his mother’s ample bosom.
It’s a good thing they’re cute, right? Hang in there.
She’s adorable! I hope she starts sleeping more so you can get some rest soon.
I love the description – she’s like a “tiny Roman”! LOL!
Oh yeah, the first few weeks suck ass. My girl was a big grunter too. But with my son, the first-born, we recorded every single poop for the first three or four days: color, consistency, etc. We still laugh about that.
You’re doin’ great!
“Congratulations” and “I’m so happy for you”s are so weak, I don’t even know how to say it well enough. But it is just so, so, so good to read a post like this. Beautiful.
As for the increasing fussiness, I am NOT, NOT, NOT wishing this on you, but. . .if you find that you have an “extreme fussy” baby (traditionally, “colicky”), you are going to get an awful lot of advice. And I know advice from strangers is probably all but meaningless.
But have I ever let that stop me? Just in case you care, and just in case she is extremely fussy for a while. . .remember, you’re not a bad mom just because you find yourself hissing at a tiny, innocent baby in the middle of the night. My two year old was “colicky” for her first four months. Literally cried 8 to 10 hours per day. And you know what? THAT IS baffling. Being overwhelmed by something that is so hard to understand is okay. Go easy on yourself.
As for real, practical advice, no matter how much fussiness you experience: have you been told about Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth? It’s the best book I’ve read in my entire life. No really. There were so many things that I just simply didn’t understand about a baby’s sleep before I read that book, and it seriously changed our lives. Of course you can’t sleep-train a baby as young as Simone, but being armed with some information was invaluable to me. And if you can fit in time to at least skim through it now, then when she’s three or four months old (adjusted), you’ll at least have a clue about what direction to point your spinning, sleep-deprived head.
By the way, it’s not some crazy CRY IT OUT or ANTI CRY IT OUT kind of preachy book. It’s very moderate, middle-of-the-road, realistic kind of stuff. Highly recommend!
Has anybody mentioned Happiest Baby on the block? Kind of hokey, and simple — but also reassuring with some good tips. Since Simone loves a good swaddle, some of the other things he says might speak to her as well.
And sometimes you just accidentally hit on the right thing for your baby. My son would be instantly quieted by the song “Song for my Father” by Horace Silver — we would play it as a loop sometimes…
I feel your pain. My husband and i reminisce (I can’t spell) about how hard it was when the baby came home. Never mind the five weeks in the hospital, the night-after-night sleepless thing compounded by a month of stress is a lot for anyone to handle.
I, like you, am a pretty laid-back mom. All that initial “oh shit” makes it hard to worry too much about wet diapers or feeding schedules.
Have you tried gripe water for the reflux? People were raving about it in my breastfeeding class.
Can you believe that reading this is making me MISS those first weeks home? I miss my little tiny baby that I could carry in the Moby Wrap, the little baby who rooted around for my breast. I blinked my eyes and all of a sudden she’s this kid who doesn’t want to be held anymore.
Simone is the cutest thing, and I love that onesie!
When people told me that preemies were fussy, I wanted to be like, “screw you, wouldn’t YOU be if you were evicted that early and had to go through all that?” But DAMN! Preemies are fussy! And just wait until they start teething. Holy Hell. It is madness. Mine is teething now at four months adjusted age, and I want to just bash bricks against my head to drown out the crying. Mine, not hers.
My due date was a really eerie day. But here’s to our girls, who both came home before their due dates!
I’m your average happened-here-by-linkage lurker; been reading you since you named your babies publicly. I have a fifteen month old, and I’m sitting her all warm and tingly thinking of your living daughter, and the joy you must be feeling about the simplest of things. My advice: Smell her head. Lots. It won’t smell that way forever. I know, right? The cloth diapers thing is spot on, but you can buy new shirts. New Baby Smell is worth taking a moment for. And you are doing a good job, mama: We all futzed things up in the first weeks, and trust me, at twelve months you will want to do it all over just so you can use what you know then. I’m convinced that’s why people have more kids. (Because when my kid was four weeks old, I honestly had no idea how you got people to sign up for a second go.) But it’s so easy at first (she says, ducking): change when wet, feed when hungry, rock with fussy, love all the time. So if you’re doing all that, you are doing fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Good on you.
Sounds like you are doing excellently. Keep up the good work – the amount of sleep you get will gradually increase :-). Simone is adorable.
Oh my God I remember the horror of that stage so well and it still makes me shudder and go “Yes I confess to everything, just stop torturing me!”
I remmeber when I was exhausted and despairin and crying and people were telling me it would get better and I was all but hissing “Bastards YOU LIE it never will” but it did. True, I remember the first three months with a lingering sense of horror, because my baby would not sleep at night for longer than a two hour stretch and would want to stay up and party in between and I was convinced I would not sleep again until he moved out but then at three months he conked out around midnight, we went to bed with the glum air of people who know that their very own wee claxon of doooom will be sounding within a couple of hours but instead we woke up on our own to sweet sweeet sunlight at 7am. That moment was akin to an orgasm.
My baby was a loud sleeper too -grunting and wheezing and all but muttering angrily in his supposed slumber but he grewout of it.
I cannot say this strongly enough – but please please don’t feel guilty for feeling impatient/frustrated/angry when you get woken up for the zillionth time by an infant with unfathomable needs. It’s so normal. As far as I am concerned we are all Mothers Of The Year when we don’t walk out, and when we keep getting up to respond to the damn crying.
Do you have one of those yoga balls? In my son’s fussy moments, sitting on the yoga ball and bouncing him gently is sometimes the only thing which will soothe him and make him sleep.
I remember when he was born that all his crying sounded the same to me, and I remember many nights when the only thing to make him for the love of god shut up was being able to nurse and my nipple was hurting and I just wanted to sleep and I’d be crying and the baby would be crying and my husband would be trying to comfort us both and it was awful. But since then I have learned to distinguish different crying of which one is overtired crying (a particular whiny tone) signalling the baby would love to conk out but doesn’t know how and while you try to help it it fights you all the way. Babies! They are so contrary!
I honestly don’t want to give assvice, and offer these thoughts on the off chance that you’re feeling as helpless as I felt then:
-My baby would SHRIIIEEEEEK like a banshee when his stomach hurt from gas but a more thorough burping would pacify him.
-I used to do a sneaky pacifier manoever where I’d whip away my bosoms and whip in the pacifier and he was kind enough to accept the substitution and sleep.
-He was soothed by gentle bouncing on the ball and the singing of songs. Unfortunately it was the same song but whatever gets him to sleep fastest I say.
It will get better, I promise you. It will it will it will.
All of the sleepless nights, hysterical crying, 24×7 nursing & non stop holding (yes I had one of these too, he is now 12 mos.-ish) is so amazingly worth it every single day, isn’t it? ;-) Knowing she is home with you & the husband after her amazingly long and winding journey makes the world a brighter place, go you!
Are you co-sleeping? Or is this something you can’t do with Simone because of her ‘equipment’?
My eldest son always suckled to sleep and would wake if I put him down, so I hardly ever put him down for six months!!!! He fed almost continuously, and spit up copiously – he was a projectile vomiter. No health probs, just greedy! ;-D
And my youngest co-slept with us right up until he went into his own BED!!! Other people tutted and shook their heads (and maybe still do) but we all got some sleep, which was what we desperately needed and weren’t getting.
One of my sons and daughters-in-law have twins and another one a year younger. They just put them all to bed and let them cry it out, otherwise they would have got no sleep. The girls are now 3 and 2 and they all go to bed with no problems.
Another has a year old daughter who is still co-sleeping with them.
I think you’re doing a great job! Just keep on doing what works best for YOU and your family, whatever advice other people may offer. Remember there’s no right way or wrong way – there’s just many different ways! Whichever way we go about it, we all get there in the end :-)
Sleep? What is that…
She is gorgeous and you are doing an amazing job.
Strange, isn’t it? The realisation that as soon as you have your child at home in your arms, all the worrying you did when he/she was still in the hospital seems to fade to the background. The feeding schedules, pooping charts, weighing before and after meals, it all seems a lot less important. All that matters is being able to hold your baby and cuddle her whenever you want (or, er, mostly whenever she wants), and seeing her grow into the perfect little person she is…
But yes, those nights… A couple of days after we got to take our twins home from the hospital we finally understood why all those nurses kept telling us to just skip some visits and get some SLEEEEEEEP… We didn’t want to listen to them, because what could be more important then being with our children. But yes, sleep, very important. And also almost non-existent the first few months at home… You might not believe it now, but it WILL GET BETTER! She will eventually start sleeping through the night (or at least for a couple of hours in between nursing sessions). Until then, please don’t beat yourself up over a few snippy remarks you make to your beautiful little girl. She won’t even remember them by the time morning sets in…
Oh, and brace yourself for the eye-exam. It’s some pretty nasty shit! I remember almost wanting to kill that nasty eye-doctor when he performed the test on our daughter. And that was before he even started on our son. But even that they forget… Babies are so blissfully forgetful…! And with a bit of luck she will sleep for a couple of straight hours after the exam, like ours did!
My son was unbelievably colicky (hasn’t changed much – just call it teething now) and slept on his stomach on top of me for weeks.
The only thing that helped was when someone suggested propping him in a boppy to sleep at night. That’s how he slept (swaddled, in boppy, on my bed) for months. I think I transitioned him to his crib in boppy a few months ago, then just swaddled, then on tummy when he started rolling. I’m pretty sure it helped because of reflux.
Boppies are not supposed to be used for sleeping, but if you could use it with an apnea monitor?
I really sympathize with you – I still feel sleep deprived, and now he only is up once at night to eat and wakes up at 5-5.30 in the morning (at 9.5 months).
Kat
What a wierd website that was! Who comes up with these things?
Yay! that she’s home and Yay! that she’s eating and boo! for no sleep but Yay!! that she’s home to torment you! Think of it as future blackmail. She’s so beautiful Alexa and you ARE doing great.
When my oldest was around 6 months old, she was crying (AGAIN!) and I held her up, looked in her eyes, and said, angrily, “Would you PLEASE stop being such a BABY!?”
Hahaha…
My oldest and I slept in the La-Z-Boy chair for the first 8 weeks or so, because I was afraid I’d drop her anywhere else (and nearly did, several times, sitting up to nurse her in bed or in the glider). Finally, I learned how to nurse lying down, and everything improved. When she was a little older, she slept in her swing for the first part of the night. That lasted until she was around 1, when she outgrew the swing.
You do what you can to survive, right? It sucks rocks that you guys can’t co-sleep. Is there someone in your lives who could come over one night (soon!) and hold her for you, so you can get some good rest for a change?
Hang in there. This too shall pass.
Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com
I’m so happy to read this…. only because you are just as you should be – with two-pissholes-in-the-snow eyes, completely flipping exhausted, having to endure the classic preemie grunting, having a rabid feeder scrabbling at your flesh.
Because DAMN. All those things? Truly, truly, amazing, after all you’ve been through. I know it’s hard, and I don’t whatsoever mean to say “be thankful!” because if someone had said that to me, I would have kneed them in the crotch.
What I mean is just WOW. I’ve been waiting a long time for those post, wishing for it despite not knowing you, and now it’s here, and it makes me smile. Hang in there, mama.
xo
Is it ok to bring out the terrifying mom stories now? The ones that don’t involve breathing apparatus(-i?)? MY KID NEVER SLEPT. Ever. Not when she was an infant. Not later. A “nap” for her was 30 minutes, if she took one. By her first birthday those were largely absent. I read all the books, and her pediatric folder is the size of a phonebook based largely on those first few months when we were going bananas trying to figure out WHY. No reason — just not a sleeper. Still isn’t. I predict she’s going to be one those “5 hours is plenty!” people who are richly successful. (humor me.) When you start blogging about how big AND what a good sleeper Simone is, I’m outta here.
Lovely to be chatting sleep dep with you instead of heart rates. Hang in there, both of you — keep eating Simone. And I’ll be thinking of you all this Saturday.
Some thoughts…
We all have, and all will hiss angrily at our helpless babes at 3 or 4 or 5 in the morning. The lack of sleep is a real misstep in the evolutionary progression. I’m not sure how we get through it, but somehow we do.
If she’s suckling on all and any body parts, and is sometimes immensely pissed while eating, she may need to eat more. (Sorry.) Some babes nurse every hour. I do not wish that on you, but try slightly more frequent feeds, or let her feed longer. Seeing as how they want her weight up, you’re sortof doomed to tinker with this anyway.
Less walking around for you during the day. Buy blackout curtains and nap. With her on your chest if she must. And only after you’ve licked off the crumbs to fulfill dietary needs.
Take care of you. Or take a stab at it.
;)
Congrats, she is gorgeous, and you are doing wonderfully!
I just wanted to chime in to agree with the above poster….(sorry, more assvice)…when breastfeeding, its a supply and demand kinda deal. You cant really schedule them this early. Every 3 hours is probably too long for her. Plump that gorgeous thing up! Just let her eat all the time…cause this signals your boobs to produce the amount she is going to need as she gets bigger. Park it on the couch with snacks and water and just nurse nurse nurse. My son nursed every 45 minutes to an hour for WEEKS (yes, I know, the horror) but thats what kept his weight on the up and up. Its hard, oh yes, and it sucks mightily…but you can totally do it!
She just keeps getting more and more adorable every day! The sleep thing will come (just not fast enough). Like PP mentioned, Patrick also had to sleep on his stomach on my chest for many nights. He was just so miserable and that was the only way for either of us to get any sleep. I felt like I was breaking some rule. You know the babies should sleep in their cribs rule, but I decided it was more important that he sleep well and less important where. We also let them sleep in their bouncy seats as well. And no, they had no problems transitioning to their cribs when they were a few weeks older. Hang in there. You’ll find Simone’s preference (of course then she’ll change her mind 2 days later!)
Simone is absolutely precious!! I can relate to the fussy baby. It’s been several years though. I quit taking the pediatrician’s advice and started allowing myself to introduce some of those ‘don’t do’ things I met a much happier baby. I tried nursing and thought I was being successful then realized that my baby wasn’t trying to milk me to death … she was actually starving to death! My milk was not satisfying her and it was so indicated by the lack of decent weight gain. She should have weighed a ton with the way she was eating but she wasn’t gaining weight, if anything she was losing weight. And the spit-up … Lord have mercy on us all … the spit-up was horrible. I didn’t want to give up nursing completely so I began supplementing with a rice thickened formula and the results were amazing. I nursed when she was happily hungry and gave her a bottle when she was ravenous. She started gaining weight, started sleeping (in her bed rather than attached to my chest), and life was good … as it should have been!
You are doing an awesome job…and she’s just gorgeous.
you don’t need any more advice but that won’t stop me from giving some. mairin WOULD NOT SLEEP OUT OF MY ARMS for roughly the first three months of her life. and then we discovered…sleep cycles. truly. if i held her (nipple in mouth, as she preferred) through her roughly 45-minute sleep cycle, then when she hit deep sleep again HER DADDY could take her from me and put her down. i couldn’t put her down–that woke her instantly.
i don’t know why this worked but it did and saved our life. so sure, read the books (i also love the karp books) but then watch your baby and experiment and eventually something will work. like, she’ll grow up and move out.
another plug — back to the karp books — mairin liked being swaddled but she REALLY liked “the milkshake.” people would laugh at shannon when he bobbled her up and down in public but she really was soothed by it.
good luck — AND SUPERHUGEMASSIVETREMENDOUSCONGRATULATIONS! i’m so glad you’re all together under your own roof.
So glad that you guys are home and you’re doing a wonderful job. The first couple of months are so hard due to sleep deprivation. You guys have been through so much, it will get easier in the sleep department, just takes a while. Enjoy these momments as they will be gone in a blink of an eye. Literally…
She’s an angel.
Hang in there, Flotsams! This is the bad bit. I found myself bellowing imperiously at the hubby to ‘come and take IT away!’ and inwardly marvelling how I’d descended so far and so fast as to call my beloved baby It. And it was usually hot gravy that ended up on the child’s head. If you set expectations fairly low in terms of domestic, non-baby-related achievement, all will be just fine.
These are such NICE posts to read lately, you know!
I love to say this: She sounds like a normal infant! Driving her mom insane via sleep deprivation. The usual newborn ploy.
She is very adorable and you are a kick-ass mom. Have a great week.
I read Dr. Sears book while I was still stuck in the antepartum unit, and he described preemies as “very.” Very fussy, very needy, very clingy. Just very. We turned a corner at about 3 months actual age/1 month adjusted. That’s when the colic stopped and we were left with “just” preemie fussiness. But she is an absolute delight at age two!
Re: the weight. My ped was fine with half an ounce a day. She’d call our primary neo about once a month and fax him my daughter’s growth chart, and the neo would say, “Yep, looks like this is a kid who is going to do her catch-up growth beyond the first year.” And so it was. Not saying that you should disregard your pediatrician, but hopefully you can stop worrying. They have 3 years to get caught up. Worry about weight consumed most of the first 8 months of my daughter’s life, and it was miserable.
Hey there. I have a seven month old and all I can say is, it gets better. You are doing a good job. The first few months can be hell. My daughter was a terrible sleeper- pretty much every 1-2 hours, 3 if I was lucky for the first four months. The funny thing is, now it seems like forever ago. I had many nights were I threatened to throw her out the window (not seriously, but in a major sleep deprived desperate mommy way). It gets better so hang in there!!!!
No advice here, just wanted to say, lord, just when I thought that peanut couldn’t get any cuter, she done gone proved me wrong. Nicely done, mama.
She is beautiful and you ARE doing a great job! It WILL get easier, I promise. Have you tried Tri-Vi-Sol? It’s an iron supplement. Our pediatrician recommended it for our 32-week preemie. Might help with the weight gain.
Mine cry even when the bottle is in their mouth, too. It makes you want to tell them that if they think life is hard now, they haven’t seen anything yet.
We fought the reflux war here as well. We learned to sleep sitting up in the recliner so LK could also sleep sitting up in the crook of an arm. I put a pillow under my chin so I wouldn’t pitch forward when I dozed off. This bought us a little bit of sleep… eventually we put him in the toddler car seat and leaned it up against the wall to keep him far enough upright.
I’m betting her tummy is on fire when it is empty, thus she is hungry but in pain. I eventually learned to feed him before he got really hungry.
It’s a tough battle, and different than just dealing with a cranky newborn. Hang in there, and hopefully you’ll find something that works for her. Meanwhile, that is one beautiful baby.
The sleep thing really blows for the first several weeks. It does. But it gets better most of the time. And, I’m a bad mom, because I’d always let them sleep with me when it got really bad. Then we’d BOTH sleep, and that was a miracle in itself. I even figured out a new way to sleep on the couch with 4th while I would breasfeed her at night. Can’t say my neck was all that appreciative of my new sleep position, but you know, you hit a point where you just do whatever it is you need to do for that moment so as to Not go insane. She’s fed, she’s doing well, you’re tired as all get out and probably very flustered at the lack of sleep and being “baffled” at things.. but that’s all part of it. She WILL sleep through the night eventually. So just do what I do. Cross your fingers and hope that it doesn’t take until she turns 16(says the woman who’s 22 month old refuses to sleep in her crib anymore and mom has completely given up because she just wants to sleep for the first time in over 4 years and said 22 month old now sleeps with mom every night. I have no idea where to go with the situation, but I get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time now, and that’s good enough for me.)
My 5 week old ( I refuse to say 1 month, because that sounds old. We’re counting in months already?)does the try to latch on to the closest available body part as well. And my shameful confession is that I sometimes hold him up to my cheek and let him do it there, because I can then kid myself that he is trying to give me a kiss. Delirious from lack of sleep, anyone?
Have you thought about trying a co-sleeper? Then you could stick her in the co-sleeper, nurse her to sleep, and you wouldn’t have to move her afterwards. Worked for me with my fussy babies. My second daughter was only quiet on long car trips if I nursed her to sleep in her car seat. I had many macabre fantasies about what would happen if we had an accident while I was leaning over her seat with my nipple in her mouth.
My first daughter latched on to my neck two days before I went back to work – I didn’t pry her off soon enough and returned to work with a small hickie – that was as close to sex as I wanted to get for the first six months of her life.
Ooooh, look at the yawn! :-D
She’s adorable, and you are doing a great job.
I say success, all around.
It will get better.
And then she’ll hit puberty.
I’m glad you are enjoying her now. She is beautiful.
Have fun.
It’s tough being a momma to a newborn. Everything you described (from Simone and yourself) is completely normal. They eventually outgrow the screaming-for-no-apparent-reason stage. I had to keep telling myself that in the beginning. (“This screaming won’t last forever, I can make it, this will end.”)
Can you nurse with your sling? Could you put Simone in, let her latch on and nurse, and then sit down in a comfy chair and nap? I know I would never have been able to sleep with an actively nursing baby, but maybe once she falls asleep, you could both sleep that way? Or is it a no no to have her sleep without the apnea monitor hooked up and with you not cognizant?
She is so cute I just want to mush (hug tightly) her!!
Wow, your description of sleepless nights sent me right back 13 years to when my son was a baby. I was snappy too, so much so that my husband would tell me to stay in bed and he’d do the nighttime feeding. I could never sleep though until he was back in bed so it didn’t help.
What DID help was the stroller. After a while I’d put the baby in the stroller when he woke up (immediately after falling asleep while feeding at the breast and being moved) and stroll him in circles around the living room until he fell asleep then I’d leave him in the stroller sleeping. Worked like a charm.
It also worked for when he got his days and nights mixed up. I’d let him nap during the day in the stroller by a window so it was very light. That got him turned around in a day.
You’re doing great!
Well my goodness, she certainly looks like a gorgeous chubby baby to me. She is beautiful and soon enough, you will be gnawing on chubby baby thigh rolls. Sounds like she’s eating like a champ.
You are doing a great job!
Now, I have two children, and both of them, especially as newborns, were absolute assholes. I love them tenderly, but they were horrific. Honest to God.
Simone sounds like Alex was, and I promise that it does get better, the barfing ends, and eventually they get to be more than a drain on you (I mean this lovingly. Please don’t think I’m all “I hate my kids”).
If sleeping in your arms is what she wants, well if you’re like me, you do it anyway. Because any sleep, even sleep with babies, is better than none.
I’m thinking of you guys. And sending big puffy sleep-filled hearts your way.
And dude? That is one fracking cute baby girl!
She’s adorable.
As for the sleeping situation, have you tried the swing yet? I discovered it when my own was 6 weeks old and when it calmed her down for 2 hours and I slept and it was GOOD. My daughter tended to peck her way when she wanted to nurse and get angry when it wasn’t a nipple and then she was so upset when she was finally on the nipple, that she would thrash her head and not nurse! That used to frustrate me, but it shows what type of personality she has and will have.
You are doing wonderful! Every new mama needs that pat on the back once in a while, whether in the calm or in the storm.
Love the pictures!
(And cloth diapers, I still use them on the toddler for her little messes. I’m so used to them!)
I’m all verklempt. She’s so beautiful.
Word of advice on the lack-of-sleep front: Keep a notepad and jot down stuff you want to remember, like if you’ve given a dose of medicine or you need to change the wash out. Seriously, lack of sleep leads to short-term memory loss!
I used to get through the more insanely exhausting moments avec the shrieking baby and the flailing limbs and the general drama with the following statement (dripping with sarcasm, natch): “Oh of course, good sir. It’s all about you. Let’s go ahead and fuck Mama’s needs.” It helps. Probably cuz yer not supposed to swear in front of an infant, which made it all the more helpful.
We’re 5 months into this new baby and things have become markedly better. Even so little removed from those early months and already I want to give you a big cookie and a thumbs up and tell you that yes, you are doing good.
My daughter is 3 weeks old and does the same pull off and scream thing on the boob! She will suck, like, twice, and if milk does not immediately appear, she starts to cry and shake her head! Doesnt do it all the time, just sometimes. V v funny, though.
She is lovely, I’m so happy for Family Flotsam that she is home and doing well!
Congrats to you all! Re: everything-is-gravy, I think your parenting style is similar to mine, in that I’ve always had only 2 rules:
1) (for birth through 12 years) Don’t Kill The Baby.
2) (ages 12 and up) Don’t Let The Baby Kill You.
That’s it! So far we’re all alive and well through age 13!
Best of luck to you all, you’re doing great.
She is absolutely gorgeous!!! I am just so happy for you.
And so proud of you that you are staying so relaxed and calm. It makes a world of difference.
And yeah, the sleep deprivation. Totally sucks, don’t even have any good suggestions for you because I’m still struggling with it. Oh wait…I do actually…when Kiel was 2 months I splurged and got an Amby (http://www.askdrsears.com/amby.asp). It is amazing! First time we were able to get him to sleep without me holding him. He is still up wanting the boobie every few hours, but its so much better! I found mine on craig’s list so didn’t pay full price. Worth every penny I spent!
i don’t have a flickr account so i can’t comment on all those GORGEOUS photos like i really want to. your baby girl is just stunning. (i think she looks like you!) so happy for her safe arrival home and absolutely overjoyed over your good news about how you have settled into being her mom. you are wonderful.
You’re doing fine! I love reading all the comments from other moms on here!
My girl did the angry thing at the boob, too. I would (very) gently pinch her lips around my nipple until she “got it” and that usually worked.
And it does get better. One day you’ll lift your head and she’ll be four months old and you’ll wonder where the time went.
Anyone who says babies will eat when they’re hungry and sleep when they’re tired has never spent a night with an infant. It always baffled me, too, how they could get too hungry to eat or too tired to sleep.
And you’re totally right about sleep deprivation being cumulative. I reached a breaking point about week 4 with a newborn. My baby was born in the winter – I remember clearly sitting in the twilight, feeding him and trying very hard to remember if it was 4:30 a.m. or 4:30 p.m. In the end, I had no idea. I had to turn on the t.v. to see what was on – only Oprah convinced me it was still daytime.
The good news is that this really is the hardest part. And it really does end. Good luck.
awe! she is so cute! You are doing great : )
Had a preemie at the end of September who came home a month later. We had little to no outside help b/c he was quarantined. Developed pathological fear of sun setting because he was so difficult and unpredictable in his feeding (bottle issues). Don’t remember much about Thanksgiving (his due date) and Christmas that year except the overwhelming exhaustion.
Somewhere around January — the 2-month adjusted mark — it all changed and I felt like I knew what I was doing. It got better. What kept me hanging on through the panic:
The advice from a friend:
The first month is awful. You think your life will be this way forever, but it won’t. Just get through the first month. (Adjust for preemies, but it’s true.)
The knowledge that — with six billion people in the world, many thousands born from negligent, stupid parents — it was near impossible for me to accidentally kill my own child.
I cried the first 2 weeks home… literally, tears streaming down my face crying. And the guilt, oh gosh, the guilt bc wasn’t I supposed to be ecstatic that I FINALLY had my baby?
And then, bless her heart, my friend lent me her cradle swing. And all was well in our home. Don’t know if Simone is big enough for it, but my kid spent the first 6 months of his life strapped to that thing. I give it full credit for saving our sanity.
Enjoy these months. I promise they DO grow out of it ;)
Man, your daughter is CUTE.
I heard somewhere that babies who spent a long time in SCBU can be hard to settle when they come home – something to do with all the noise and attention they had at the hospital. Have you tried a radio on low, or the hairdryer??! weird as it sounds, it can work.
Even full term big babies can be a nightmare to settle – I dont remember sleeping at all with number 2 for 2 weeks solid and he was a week over and 10lb! The radio trick did help a little though.
I cant believe this Saturday is her due date – she’s older than my son and he was overdue ;-)
Shes beautiful as well xx
Oh gosh do I remember the long nights. Our twin daughters were like this and they weren’t ever on the same schedule no matter how hard we tried. Our son, a totally different experience.
I know you’ll get a lot of advice and finger waiving on co-sleeping. But you all need sleep and at some point (hopefully before your breaking point) you just gotta do what you gotta do. If moving her is what kicks off the no sleep thing, then don’t move her. Make the space safe and catch some z’s with her.
Good luck & enjoy!
Been home with my 3rd daughter for three weeks, and while she was no preemie, I feel your sleepless night pain. It does add up, but like the car seat hell you are currently in, it gets better. And, one day down the line, you’ll find your modified sleep requirements will be a bit like a superpower.
Hip hip hooray for the rolling with the punches attitude you’ve got!
she’s adorable!
Have you read the Happiest Baby on the Block? It really helped with our fussiness and getting them to sleep.
You’re in the hardest part right now – you’ll start getting some sleep soon, and after just a little sleep, it all seems so much easier.
And definitely – at this point – let her sleep where ever she is willing to sleep – don’t worry about getting her in the crib, you’ve got time for that.
I can’t even tell you how much it makes me smile to read you writing about motherhood and being home with Simone. And to see that gorgeous girl squirming about in her adorable onesie.
I’m coming back just to second the suggestion about the noise. One of the NICU nurse practitioners told me they feel a little guilty because they send babies home with all kinds of bad habits. NICU babies are allowed to sleep on their tummies, and they like it. It’s also never completely dark in there, and there is always noise. We started using brighter nightlights for our daughter, and that helped a bit.
You are doing a wonderful job Alexa! I’m so happy Simone is finally home! My one and only full term newborn girl weighed 6 pounds 12 ounces at birth, lost about 4 ounces in the hospital until my milk came in, and then gained it back on the day we went home – all in 3 days! She was colicky and I had a swing, and that was a godsend! The swing soothed her and she slept and I had some peace.
I type medical reports for my job, and I type a lot of pediatric radiology stuff. One of the pediatric radiologists told me that a baby with reflux should immediately take a pacifier after eating, because it helps the stomach not reflux the food back up. So, you could stick an orthodontic Nuk pacifier in Simone’s little sweet mouth after she was done feeding and let her suck away.
How I miss those times. I only had one baby, and never had a chance again. She’s 33 years old now and a mom herself.
Yeah, you’re doing a great job Alexa and Scott! God bless this Flotsam family!
You are doing a great job, and we all hate carseats!
The unfortunate part about being a mother is that the little ones don’t come with instruction books so we just have to fumble our way through.
Simone is adorable!
http://www.mypreciouskid.com/sleep-positioner-reflux.html
Saw this on the web and thought of you.
http://www.webmd.com/news/20000619/pacifiers-baby-acid-reflux
And this. OK nuff for now. You’re doing a wonderful job. She is a beauty!
Your post brought it all back. The sleeplessness. The confusion. The crying. My son used to make a sound like “ah-ha-ha-ha” that sounded like it came from the chorus of the T-Rex song “Jeepster.” It never failed to amaze and amuse, which is a good thing because the crying had us weighing the consequences of taking him to a gypsy encampment and bartering him for a nice pair of gold earrings. Or a horse.
You will get through this. White noise works well. If you turn it up loud enough you won’t hear the baby crying.
-Jill
Oh, how I remember those days. The delirium, the diapers, the lack of brain power.
We let Oscar sleep in the bed with us and it made all the difference. There are probably stricter rules for babies with apnea monitors, but we thought that since women all over the world do it, so why not us? It truly was a turning point. No covers, no pillows by baby. Another option, and I kid you not, is to put Simone in a cat bed with sides and let her sleep between the two of you. I have several friends who have done this and it has worked well.
Good luck and you ARE doing an awesome job…she looks pretty darn happy in those photos!
P.S. Can you send me your street address to my email? We have a little something to send to Miss Simone.
It has been almost 38 years since I brought my itsy bitsy baby home and this post brought all those feeling back to me! Of course, back in the stone ages, we used those “spit up” diapers as the real thing! She’s adorable. I pray you get some sleep! Congratulations, mama on getting her home! Before you know it, she’ll be pushing 38 and you’ll feel old, like me! :)
She’s just gorgeous. You’re doing great! (And the cloth diaper tip is duly noted)
You didn’t say how often Simone cries while eating, and this is probably a ridiculous idea, but since it is something I heard at the pediatrician myself two days ago, I’ll pass it on so you have one more thing to dwell needlessly on: It’s allergy season (here in Texas, anyway–God knows what season it is way up there where you are) and my baby’s doctor mentioned that sometimes a baby will cry while sucking at bottle or breast even if very hungry because the pressure in the baby’s head, caused by a cold or allergies, is worsened by the sucking.
I love looking at pictures of Simone. More photos, please.
We had a terrible period of colicky fussing shortly after my son came home, thanks to the doofus obstetrician who prescribed Flagyl for me, even though I was breastfeeding, without telling me that it would kill his brand-new, fragile intestinal flora and leave him in misery. That went on until my husband went out and bought a brilliant soothing device.
The device that saved us all? A swing. The Fisher Price Ocean Wonders swing, which turned sideways to swing side to side as well as the conventional forward/backward motion. The side to side swinging motion lulled him to sleep. I must confess that he actually spent a couple of nights in the swing, happily snoozing away – as did we. Bliss.
And for heaven’s sake, no matter what else you do, make sure your doctor knows you’re breastfeeding if they are prescribing antibiotics! :)
Simone is such a beauty. I love seeing the photos as she grows. Thanks for keeping up with the updates, despite your incredible lack of sleep. My hat is off to you!
I had totally forgotten about the random latch. Ohhh, good times…
Hey Mommy you are doing just fine. My first son was a complete pain as a baby and never slept more than 90 mins at a time, day or night. We just kept feeding him and plugging in the pacifier and eventually it improved and he only woke once or twice a night. With regard to Simone (She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed) waking when you put her into her crib I do have a slightly ‘icky’ suggestion. When I was childminding I had a baby boy who had huge separation issues when his Mother had to return to work so, along with the expressed Breast milk she would send the T-shirt (baby drool, Mommy sweat and all) she had slept in the previous night and I would put him down for a nap with that. It was a great help. I know it is warm in your half of the world now but if you could keep some cotton jersey or muslin in the sling with Simone during the day, perhaps transferring this to the crib may lessen the impact of the change of venue. Also I think someone else mentioned warming her sheets with a hot water bottle so the temperature change isn’t so abrupt, I assume you already do the low level noise and dim light thing. However, even if none of these ideas work, you will survive and I’m sure that beautiful little tyrant of yours will thrive.
Now go and EAT something!
First let me tell you. You are doing a GREAT job!
Trust me the night I stuck Jeffrey in the crib, let him wail and went out on the porch (where I couldn’t hear him) and just sobbed; I thought I was the worst mother ever. In hindsight, I did the right thing. I did not for example give him to a random stranger walking down the street as I was sorely tempted to do.
We were pretty lucky in that he settled into a sleeping pattern after a few weeks. We tried as best we could to stick to the same schedule as the NICU since it was familiar to him.
Also. Totally on board with the “calmness”. I really thought we would be hyper-vigilant psycho parents but instead we took the “hey he’s breathing” approach and became very laid back parents. And two and a half years later it’s still working for us. A little blood? Meh, he’s crying. That means he’s moving air. He’s fine.
One other thing about sleeping. Have you tried putting her in a bouncer or swing post feeding? I know they’re miniscule inside them now but it seemed to help Jeffrey’s reflux when he was a little more “sitting up” and he would get to sleep a bit easier.
Hope some of this helps. Now go try and sleep and if you can’t sleep at least eat something yummy. Good luck!
She looks beautiful and so cozy in her sling.
Milk shakes! Eat a milk shake every day!
Hey, it’s probably the easiest, most pleasant unsolicited advice to follow, right? Someone told me to try that to increase my milk production, and holy moly did it work. The milk I put in the fridge after that started separating like cream.
She is absolutely adorable. Congratulations!!!!
She is so beautiful.
Mine wasn’t a premie, but I do empathize with the exhaustion of those early days. I may remember that you don’t have family in the area, but if at all possible I would advocate doing — even occasionally — what I did: handing baby to someone else and saying, “Keep this baby safe, don’t disturb me for 2 hours,” and going and taking a nap. God I needed those.
For what it’s worth, at a little over a year ago, those early days are just a (pleasant — go figure) blur in my memory now.
Oh, as some others have posted about, I, too, nursed in a lazy boy (or equivalent) at night, and would let him fall asleep on me when we were done. I don’t know if this would be safe for Simone but in case you can (or will at some time in the future) be able to do it safely, FWIW, it did help me be marginally less sleep-deprived than I would otherwise have been. And the skin-to-skin sleeping mama-baby time was wonderful.
Our girl was the same way-she came home at 37 weeks (and 4 lbs on the dot) and when she hit the due date things got hairy. We had a cosleeper next to the bed, but I found we both actually got better sleep if she was actually in bed with me (the skin to skin was reassuring for both of us)-then she could nurse with wild abandon as I had mastered the art of side-lying nursing (which changes ones life). After a few months, we got her in the cosleeper, and by 4 months CGA, she was in her own crib and in her own room. She is a great sleeper to this day (just *not* a great eater; 21 lbs at 20 months…ho hum). I also nursed on demand those early months, and didn’t really have a schedule, and she started gaining weight at the clip of about 2.5 lbs a month (which I monitored neurotically with my rented Medela scale). The groove will reveal itself to you, and it will just fall into place somehow. And you ARE doing a great job. All that said, and you never catch up on the sleep. Not really.
You’re doing it right, my dear. You’ll be saying, ‘WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?’ at regular intervals for the next several decades. In fact, I said the very same words over a homework protest just last night. And then I lost my rag. And then I felt guilty. And so the circle circles.
I second what your doc says. It may not look pretty, but you are doing a fab job. Simone’s major advantage is that she has such a realistic as well as funny mummy. Great combo. Keep rolling….
Those 2 picture sof her at the end are just adorable!
My son didn’t sleep through the night until about 18 months. I nurse him to sleep for both his nap and bedtime. I finally figured out when to tell that he asleep “enough” to move him although it still doesn’t work all the time. Also, he doesn’t need me to fall asleep. He can fall asleep on his own. BUt the nursing to sleep has it’s benefits…he asks to go to bed at night and asks for his nap becasue he will get to nurse then.
It will get easier. Hang in there!
She is just adorable, really, too cute for words! You’re doing an awesome job.
(And my offer to send a little box of clothes still stands if you’re interested.)
And the hard parts will get easier, I promise!
Simone is absolutely adorable!
When I brought my girls home from the NICU they both would get overstimulated *very* easily. The television at night was a big culprit, but really, anything could set them off to hyper mode. The smaller one would also get crazed when eating. Telling her to focus and calm down seemed to remind her of what she was there to do. Also, a sound machine has been our savior! The ocean sound is the perfect shhhing.
I know you have a lot of advice already, but here’s someting that may satisfy both you and Simon.
Buy one of those bassinets/cribs that attach to your bed. It’s basically an extension of your bed. You put the baby in there, and you can squeeze in part of your body to breastfeed lying down. When she falls asleep you do not need to move her. There is no danger of rolling over her, she has her own space, you have yours, and you can still attach the apnea monitor. Here’s one
http://www.babynewsonline.com/store/shop_product.php?UPC=10186
Good luck. (P.S. You will not roll over your baby, you will not squash her in the same bed! Unless you are passed out drunk or on crack cocaine, you are always aware of your baby. Just remove any heavy bedding or pillows from her vicinity and slumber away, together. Don’t torture yourself.)
I meant Simone not Simon. Sorry.
Our wee baby liked the sleeping wedgie to prop her up, with rolled towells on either side to act as bumpers to keep her in position, and keep the food down – it worked for months until she started trying to roll over. Rocking chair, never a bad idea, and the ocean sound machine still works at age two (and puts me to sleep when I put her to sleep). You’ll make it Flotsams! In a month this will all seem so hazy . . . as will that month!
I have a 5 week old daughter (full term). She does the *exact* same thing with her head. Hopefully this isn’t assvice but here what has worked for us: I give her my finger to suck on for a minute or so, until she calms down and then she usually latches without an issue.
Re: the milk rivers. Yeah, our believes that too. And not just of me. Of anyone, including my husband (she tried to latch onto his nose when he was snuggling her, a moment we recreated and photographed for our blog) and FiL.
You are doing so great. After having a baby that had extreme reflux (we didn’t know it was from food allergies and protiens he was getting through breastmilk) we fell in love with the AMBY BABY HAMMOCK!!!!! It helps reflux, sleep improves and babies are just happier. Check ebay you can get them cheaper.
I had IVF twins and lost my daughter, but have a surviving son. I have enjoyed reading about your daughter’s successes. You sound very happy and content.
Simone has the BEST clothes! Love all the red – just beautiful!
I haven’t read the other comments but I wanted to say that it is *okay* to sleep next to her for a while. I promise that if you do it safely, then things will be fine. I have two children that I’ve done this with. Sometimes it’s the only way to catch some rest. And all those naysayers have probably done it at least once if not more.
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/cosleeping.asp
You can even take one side of the crib off and shove it next to the bed and fasten them together with those pull ties they sell at the hardware store. And then when she is asleep and finished eating instead of picking her up, just scootch her over to her own space. Or in desperate times, fling your body into the crib, nurse her to sleep, unlatch your breast and roll over for some sleep in your own space. Good luck!
De-lurking with a sleep suggestion, if you haven’t already tried it. Since she nurses to sleep, swaddle her and then nurse her. Make sure to rest her on a boppy pillow or something else comfortable for you to keep her there for a while. Once she appears to be asleep, unlatch her and then wait 5-10 minutes and then carefully transfer her to the crib. Obviously you’ll want to be near the crib when you do this. Hopefully the swaddle will keep her from startling awake and waiting after you unlatch will get her into a deeper sleep first. I had to do this a lot during my daughter’s early weeks, it worked a good amount of the time.
Sometimes I didn’t even bother with the transfer to the crib, I’d just lean back in the chair and sleep. I was too afraid to risk moving her. Don’t know what the professionals would say about the safety of that though.
Hang in there. Believe it or not the sleep stuff does get better.
please don’t call the SIDS police, but after two weeks I gave in and slept in the lazy-boy with baby attached. Until he was four months old. Only way we could both sleep for three hours straight! Helped his reflux as well. Best thing I ever did, it retrospect I can’t imagine giving up that time that was so fleeting and comforting for us both. Try your best, but do what feels right for you. Best wishes
okay, i’m delurking. that’s what the kids are calling it these days, right? :) i’m an early intervention physical therapist with no kids, so probably less qualified than any other commenter, but has that ever stopped me? noooooo. i can only say that i treat a LOT of preemies. and yours is extraordinarily beautiful, and lucky to have such a witty, chill, grounded mama. feel free to take none of this advice, but here’s what i got:
-re: sleeping position, refluxers nearly always want to be elevated/on a slant. i’m assuming the hospital told you at discharge to elevate one end of her crib mattress, but you never know, so thought i would mention it. the propping on the boppy idea sounds darn good to me too! provided it’s safe, of course.
-re: swaddling. get that gypsy to show you exactly how she swaddles, then have her watch you do it a couple times. i hope it starts working again! your little one sure sounds like she loves a swaddle. and the doorstop image is highly entertaining. :)
pssst. even more fun to read you b/c you live in the midwest. i’m a wisconsin girl at heart. :)
and just remember…you ARE doing a wonderful job. the love always comes through.
Longtime reader, first time commenter. I think.
You are so AWESOME, woman.
And your blog puts everyone else’s to shame.
I am such a huge fan.
With my kids the fastest way to wake them up was to put them flat on their backs. You know, like, to sleep. It did it every time. When my oldest was about 7 weeks it occurred to me to try putting him in a car seat (with one of those Target flannel receiving blankets folded over the hard lumpy buckles) and let him sleep like that. Holy heck but that helped. I’d swaddle him up, nurse him to sleep, and just prop him in the carseat swaddled. It didn’t work every time but it didn’t infallibly wake him up like putting him flat did.
I’m not sure how that would work with an apnea monitor, though.
Oh, and it helped with the reflux, too–being upright etc.
First lemme say … awww! She is so cute. I miss those days of latching on to anything that came near the mouth.
Second, my preemie couldn’t really digest and so her stomach was grumbly and she groaned, even when she was asleep. We tried every kind of formula, pure breastmilk, combo of the boob and forumla, gas drops, you name it. Her ped said she’d outgrow it and that’s the only thing that worked. By three months, she was sleeping well and not groaning all the time. Seems like forever now, though, I’m sure.
she makes me beam. and yeh, it’s totally unfair…they hit their due date and become these refluxy crying creatures…just when you’d kind of settled in to all that quiet.
the system adjusts. but be kind to yourself. :)
I just this morning stumbled upon your site and wanted to say kudos to you. My first child was a preemie, as was my second. Though they were both born gestationally older than yours by a number of weeks, we spent many weeks in the NICU with them. I wish I’d had the presence of mind to record everything that happened, with photographs or words, and have had the oddest feelings of deja vu reading your blog.
I’m so glad for you that Simone is home and well.
Now, here’s the advice.
1) reflux. sometimes the docs forget how quickly preemies grow, so keep on top of them to be sure the dosages of her meds keep up with her weight. I went thru HELL with my little guy purely because he’d outgrown his dose (read: feeding team consult, physical therapy, a mistaken ERB’s palsy diagnosis…).
2) sleeping. I assume that since she’s on the apnea monitor she’s sleeping on her belly? if not, put. her. on. it. now. and incline the head of the mattress she’s sleeping on. also, swaddle. yeah, I know they told you not to swaddle her arms, but you need to do it. buy a copy of the dvd “the happiest baby on the block” by Harvey karp. He shows you how to swaddle perfectly. My younger son was swaddled that way for 3 full months after he came home from the hospital. It was the only way he’d sleep. Also, try putting her in the swing or infant seat (Swaddled) to sleep. the incline of the seats helps with the discomfort of refulx.
3) get a sound machine. and keep it on. the louder the better. NICU babies are used to lots of noise. I made the mistake of trying to be quiet in the house with my older son, and he still gets woken up all the time by noises. With my younger one, we had a sound machine from day 1 at home and that child, once asleep, will sleep through anything.
Also, and unfortunately for you, some babies just want to be held all the time. I learned to do literally everything other than drive with my younger son attached to the front of me. He turned 3 last week and wouldn’t you know it, his favorite place is snuggled right on top of me. Simone just might be like that.
Enjoy, you’re doing great, she’s great and you’ll be amazed by everything that happens next. It’s a real trip!
I just realized that my post (2 seconds ago) might sound unclear. My meaning was this:
if you are putting Simone to sleep in a crib or bassinet, use the apnea monitor and put her on her belly (with the mattress on an incline). This is NOT the time to swaddle her. belly sleepers = no swaddle.
You should swaddle her if you are NOT putting her on her belly, like in the carseat (not in the car of course) or the swing. It’s possible to swaddle and strap into the swing, btw. that motion is really an incredible trick.
Ok, bye.
She’s adorable. What do you mean there is no milk in your collarbone? I thought that was normal!
I would not put Simone on her belly to sleep, unless OK’d by her specialists – that is a SIDS no-no!
http://www.mypreciouskid.com/sleep-positioner-reflux.html
This thing, or another foam side-sleep positioner. Not on the belly if at all possible.
Having gone through SIDS with my sister’s son, I dislike belly sleeping for infants. I’m sorry for getting all flustered!
My husband and I were just talking about our lack of words the other day! It’s sad because I teach and it happens at school, too. The kids have made it a game to try and figure out what I mean!
I am so glad that Simone is home where she belongs!
So I’m going to join the chorus recommending ‘The Happiest Baby on the Block’ by Dr. Karp – I just finished it and thought of you & Simone frequently while I was reading it. It’s really good – though I really can’t speak from a practical standpoint, as I’m now 6 months preggo with my first baby, but figured I should read whatever I could before she actually arrived & I started in on the long strange trip of long-term sleep-deprivation (also known as motherhood).
And you are doing an awesome job – mother of the year indeed!! I’m just so happy she’s home at last & able to drive you nuts in person 24/7 instead of you having to worry about her those few hours you weren’t in the NICU with her.
I’m so excited to see that little critter home and in her momma’s arms, where she belongs! I’ll keep you in my prayers when my insomniac self isn’t sleeping either. Good luck to you both as you figure out some semblance of a decent life with a preemie newborn. It’s hard but oh so worth it! You are doing an awesome job, judging by those chubby cheeks Simone is getting!!
When my son came home from NICU with oxygen and an apnea monitor, I was pretty freaked out. But after neither of us were getting any sleep, onto his belly he went and we both started getting some sleep at night. I still laid him down for naps on his back to try and “train” him to sleep that way, since i wasnt quite so desperate for sleep during the day. He was sleeping on his back by the time the apnea monitor was taken away. And by taken away, i mean TAKEN AWAY. I totally begged them to let me keep it until he graduated high school. You get very dependent on those things!