Comments on: Part Two. http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/ Deplorable solipsism? The new face of literature? Or merely a clever procrastination device... Mon, 21 May 2012 20:34:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: angela michelle http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-245461 angela michelle Fri, 29 Aug 2008 19:26:28 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/#comment-245461 Yeah, complicated. In a way Ames gave you a gift of seeing more clearly what we should all see: the huge, improbably gift and blessing of each live baby. Thanks for your honesty and compassion. Yeah, complicated. In a way Ames gave you a gift of seeing more clearly what we should all see: the huge, improbably gift and blessing of each live baby. Thanks for your honesty and compassion.

]]> By: Jill http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-243076 Jill Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:28:14 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/#comment-243076 Pragmatism is a wonderful thing. When my fiancee lost his left arm up to the elbow in an industrial accident we were too busy trying to figure out how to cope with the problems that were right in front of us to indulge in self-pity. Ben was alive. The smart, funny wonderful man I loved was walking next to me instead of lying in a box. It would have been nice if he still had two arms, but I was so grateful not to be a widow before I got a chance to be a wife that I didn't brood about his sudden unfortunate shortage of appendages. I, too, hated the counselor that the intensive care department inflicted on me. She used awful jargon about making lemonade from life's lemons and she kept urging me to cry and talk about my feelings. Ben's mother (who shares my evil sense of humor) eventually helped drive her away with a barrage of amputee jokes. She finally left us alone with a parting shot that we were seriously in denial and when grief finally hit us, as it was bound to do, we would be completely unequipped to deal with it. Ben's accident was 25 years ago and we are still waiting to be engulfed by grief. This is much too long, so I'll wrap it up and say that I love reading your blog. Simone is a beautiful baby and she has a terrific mom. Pragmatism is a wonderful thing. When my fiancee lost his left arm up to the elbow in an industrial accident we were too busy trying to figure out how to cope with the problems that were right in front of us to indulge in self-pity.
Ben was alive. The smart, funny wonderful man I loved was walking next to me instead of lying in a box. It would have been nice if he still had two arms, but I was so grateful not to be a widow before I got a chance to be a wife that I didn’t brood about his sudden unfortunate shortage of appendages.
I, too, hated the counselor that the intensive care department inflicted on me. She used awful jargon about making lemonade from life’s lemons and she kept urging me to cry and talk about my feelings. Ben’s mother (who shares my evil sense of humor) eventually helped drive her away with a barrage of amputee jokes. She finally left us alone with a parting shot that we were seriously in denial and when grief finally hit us, as it was bound to do, we would be completely unequipped to deal with it.
Ben’s accident was 25 years ago and we are still waiting to be engulfed by grief.
This is much too long, so I’ll wrap it up and say that I love reading your blog. Simone is a beautiful baby and she has a terrific mom.

]]> By: abby schrader http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-241863 abby schrader Sat, 23 Aug 2008 20:01:00 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/#comment-241863 As usual, you sum up the grief one feels at taking care of the living baby while being unable to mourn the dead quite aptly. We couldn't afford to stop and grieve Olivia the way that she deserved to be, and so the grief continues, 26 months later. As usual, you sum up the grief one feels at taking care of the living baby while being unable to mourn the dead quite aptly. We couldn’t afford to stop and grieve Olivia the way that she deserved to be, and so the grief continues, 26 months later.

]]> By: Jenny, Bloggess http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-241855 Jenny, Bloggess Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:30:25 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/#comment-241855 Slackermama sent me and I'm so glad she did. You said something I needed to hear and although I can't go into it, just know that your story made mine a little easier. Slackermama sent me and I’m so glad she did. You said something I needed to hear and although I can’t go into it, just know that your story made mine a little easier.

]]> By: Erin http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-240357 Erin Fri, 22 Aug 2008 04:16:50 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/#comment-240357 Again, you are a brave woman. I'm glad to have found you. Again, you are a brave woman. I’m glad to have found you.

]]> By: Krista http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-240298 Krista Fri, 22 Aug 2008 02:39:54 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/#comment-240298 That was beautiful That was beautiful

]]> By: Giantspeedbump http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-240277 Giantspeedbump Fri, 22 Aug 2008 02:06:19 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/#comment-240277 One commenter said it better than I ever could: How much we love shouldn’t be measured by how much we grieve. Beautiful post. I hope writing about Ames brings you comfort. One commenter said it better than I ever could: How much we love shouldn’t be measured by how much we grieve.

Beautiful post. I hope writing about Ames brings you comfort.

]]> By: Val http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-240276 Val Fri, 22 Aug 2008 02:05:05 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/#comment-240276 Alexa I can't even see clearly to type. I'm sitting in the downstairs of my house, in private, so that I might read and mourn for you and your family in some peace and quiet. Thank you for sharing, and remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, or not to grieve. Everyone moves at their own pace, whether consciously or subconsciously. Ames was a wonderful baby, and I'm so happy you were able to know him. Alexa I can’t even see clearly to type. I’m sitting in the downstairs of my house, in private, so that I might read and mourn for you and your family in some peace and quiet.

Thank you for sharing, and remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, or not to grieve. Everyone moves at their own pace, whether consciously or subconsciously.

Ames was a wonderful baby, and I’m so happy you were able to know him.

]]> By: Sharon http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-240245 Sharon Fri, 22 Aug 2008 01:11:30 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/#comment-240245 Oh sweetheart, I always thought there were no words to adequately describe this loss but I really think you have found them. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this opportunity to re-visit my losses and deal with them without the guilt I felt way back when. I sincerely hope that in the days, weeks, months and years to come you will think of Ames with a smile but no sinking feeling that you should have been able to keep him alive if only.... Another thought for you, as far as I can tell, motherhood is a never ending source of guilt of one sort or another. My 'boys' are now 29 and 24 and I STILL think " did I do/say the right thing, should I have done/said/tried whatever?' .... I'm sure you get the picture. Simone is a very lucky little girl to have you and Scott for parents. Oh sweetheart, I always thought there were no words to adequately describe this loss but I really think you have found them. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this opportunity to re-visit my losses and deal with them without the guilt I felt way back when. I sincerely hope that in the days, weeks, months and years to come you will think of Ames with a smile but no sinking feeling that you should have been able to keep him alive if only….

Another thought for you, as far as I can tell, motherhood is a never ending source of guilt of one sort or another. My ‘boys’ are now 29 and 24 and I STILL think ” did I do/say the right thing, should I have done/said/tried whatever?’ …. I’m sure you get the picture.

Simone is a very lucky little girl to have you and Scott for parents.

]]> By: Katy http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/comment-page-2/#comment-240193 Katy Thu, 21 Aug 2008 23:54:29 +0000 http://flotsamblog.com/2008/08/20/part-two/#comment-240193 Thank you for writing this. Perhaps more than you know, you have captured a lot of the feelings that many of us have after a traumatic birth. When my son was born very very ill I had shock, and then I began plotting his recovery. I think that now, when he is a year old, I am finally enjoying him. Of course, I feel guilty about this, but that is just the way it is. Thank you for writing this. Perhaps more than you know, you have captured a lot of the feelings that many of us have after a traumatic birth. When my son was born very very ill I had shock, and then I began plotting his recovery. I think that now, when he is a year old, I am finally enjoying him. Of course, I feel guilty about this, but that is just the way it is.

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