The site of the RNC is about a mile from my apartment, and suddenly my neighborhood haunts are densely populated with tan people in golf clothes, and if I stick my head out the window and take an exploratory sniff, I can smell the smell of Republicans. (BenGay and money, in case you’re wondering).
To be fair, we are also overrun by protesting hippies, who have a musk all their own, and what with all the excitement (and the fact that if I move my car I will surely lose my parking spot), we’re staying close to home this week. Simone can wait to be a part of the political process until November—on the first Tuesday of that month, I intend to take her with me to vote. Some might say such a demonstration of civic responsibility is pointless before she is old enough to understand it, but WE TAKE VOTING VERY SERIOUSLY IN THIS FAMILY. Infancy is no excuse.
In fact, Simone has decided to form her own Political Action Committee. It is to be called “Babies Against Nature” (BAN) and will be lobbying to do away with teething, a practice she assures me is a serious human rights violation. So far, BAN’s activities have primarily confined themselves to protests (Cry-Ins) held in the early morning hours at my apartment. I am working on getting Simone a permit so that she may take her civil disobedience elsewhere.
Last week, we had a less controversial visitor: Auntie Schnozz flew in to see her Interniece. She had requested that my daughter master laughing before her visit, but unfortunately she missed it by a day—Jenni left Thursday, and Friday marked the occasion of Simone’s first human-sounding laugh. (She had made a sort of drawn-out HUUH! sound before, which I could tell she thought was laughter, but nothing more recognizable). However, the baby WAS on her best behavior for our guest—eschewing crying in favor of chatting companionably with her left foot and beaming when Jenni shook her head so that her pigtails swung back and forth, an old vaudeville routine that still amuses the babies of today.
Her aunt’s departure reminded Simone that she was teething, and she decided to demand 24-hour cradling for several days afterward. This is a sticky proposition, and not just because of the cascade of drool bonding her cheek to my shoulder: I have work to do. We now possess Hyland’s teething tablets, Infant Motrin, Infant Tylenol, several teething rings, and a passel of frozen washcloths for masticating, and still, she moans. I searched the shelves of our local drugstore for Infant Laudanum, but to no avail. It has been a difficult week, as deadlines don’t care if your nursling is teething, and I don’t mind telling you that I wish Simone were more able to amuse herself during the day, perhaps by acting as my typist.
Happily she finds ways to make up for the loss of productivity. For instance, by letting me dress her in fetching knit caps:
{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }
you should try an amber teething necklace! amazing, trust me. and simone is darling, as always!
republicans and babies are both dirty trixters. babies are just some much more adorabler.
I’d rather deal with a teething baby than thousands of Republicans. There’s not enough Motrin in the world to cure that pain.
Holy Toledo, is she CUTE!
Did you know that in Texas, those knitted caps are sometimes called “knitted head socks?”
I moved here from Canada a coupla decades ago, and that still makes me snort.
Again, CUTE baby! (Sorry about the teething, though. No, not sorry about the teething…sorry about the teething grumpies).
She is TOO. CUTE. with that knit hat on! I sympathize with your opposition to that Teething PAC; our oldest was quite miserable. UNTIL we discovered a small-meshed item at the local baby superstore and started loading it with frozen grapes several times per day. After that, it was all good. If you haven’t tried one, it might be worth a shot?
http://www.onestepahead.com/product/osa/307755.html
Oh sooo precious. teething is hard and what works one day doesn’t the next, good luck.
I just ADORE that last pic!!!!!
That is a CUTE baby! Good luck with the teething
What a scrumptious little girl. And screw the Republicans–does the billboard mean that Jon Stewart is there, too? I swoon.
As for the laudanum–my family tells the story of some very well-behaved children at church in the 50s, who, it turns out, were so well-behaved because of the very stuff! (And no, I don’t know where you can score some. Sorry.)
Gin in the bottle? (Hers, that is. Or yours, to dull your own pain.) My husband says his grandmother used to rub whiskey on their gums. It explains a lot.
And Simone is RIDICULOUSLY CUTE in the hat and booties.
SO. DAMN. CUTE. [dies]
Don’t let those republicans catch view of Simone in her fetching cap, or they’ll start using her as a prop and I may just have to switch allegiance. Yowza, what a cutie.
I’m quite certain that teething itself is a Republican plot. Hope you guys Lysol down the city afterward.
Simone in cap? Sugar shock!
She is divine and look at how she’s grown!
J
She is so cute!!
Bengay and money—still laughing!
I love the cap and matching booties. Cute cute cute.
Teething ends. Really.
Wow, she’s lovely.
Be careful what you wish for: mine is of an age when he’s trying to be my typist and frankly, his WPM? Just not good. The fact that he only knows about 5 words and one of those is “uh-oh” may be part of the problem.
How cute is Simone!
you are so freaking funny. seriously. i have never seen an amusing post on teething before. you whinge with class, my dear!
She is absolutely… I have no words. Cute sphered, as my son would say.
Have you tried Children’s Absynthe?
Have I already said that she gets more cute every day? Because she does. She is gorgeous.
And, have you moved? Am I crazy because I thought you lived in NYC? I really, really thought you did. Not that it matters at all, since I’m nowhere near either locale. It’s just funny that I’ve been reading your blog for so long now, picturing everything you’re saying as taking place in Manhattan, but behold, the Twin Cities? I had no idea.
Ugh, Republicans – you poor thing! Thank goodness it’s only a week.
Simone is such a doll baby! What a cutie.
If you can feel a “nub” in her mouth, usually the bottom tooth is the first, although sometimes one of the top front teeth is the first, then that means it won’t be long until this sweet little tiny pearl will show up on Simone’s gums. First baby teeth are so darn cute!
If you think you can’t concentrate on your work now, just wait until Simone is crawling……nuff said!
She is adorable and you’re a great mommy, Republicans or not!!!
Teething grumps suck! But once she’s, that small mouth with that first little tooth looks sooooo cute (as if Simone could possibly look cuter than she already does in those knitted hat+socks *drool*).
Thing is, in the beginning you will likely only see the bottom teeth when she opens her mouth for nursing (or bottles). And boy, does that look SCARY… I have gained renewed respect for our son since his first tooth started showing two weeks ago. Just the THOUGHT of him deciding that “drinking is for little babies and I’m a big boy now so I’ll just knaw on your nipple instead” is making my boob hurt. And his sister is teething now too so life is getting scarier by the minute…
No tips to help you and Simone ease through her teething troubles (still looking for THE big tip myself) or with all those Republicans swarming your streets (fortunately we only see them on TV here in the Netherlands and thank god that thing has an off-switch – you do know the whole world is following everything going on with your elections, don’t you? And if we would all be allowed to vote as well you wouldn’t have to worry about any Republicans haunting your streets ever again. There would be nothing left of them *grin*)
She just gets more and more adorable by the day doesn’t she
So cute, since we only have the visual and no crying. I bet she’ll get a lot of babies joining the teething PAC, though.
I am having a baby in a few weeks, and I can’t WAIT to take him to the polls in Nov(luckily my polling place is pretty much in my backyard, so this is maybe realistic).
The cap and booties are a perfect match to the blanket my friend’s mother made for my daughter. Simone looks beautiful.
Ah, the smell of BenGay and money. Almost as good as cordite and wet dog. Still like the booze on the gums.
Cute and getting cuter every day!!! Love the booties and hat, reminds me of all the wonderful knit things my grandmother made for me!! My mother still has each and every one of them!
I feel for you on the teething front…..no fun at all….little sad about all the bashing republicans comments, UGH (I sort of forgot how we are all evil–my bad).
That last picture is the cutest EVAH!
I say put her in an Obama Baby onesie and parade her around the streets. With cuteness like that, she is sure to convert some GOP’s.
Try a frozen bagel. On the other hand, my now grown children’s MD, an eldery gentleman fron England, endorsed rubbing the gums with scotch or brandy. It actually worked, although it may have been the sedative effect. The kids turned out just fine.
That Simone is quite the social organizer. I think a civil disobedience permit is just what she needs. Typist may be too bland an occupation for her. Perhaps she could lobby for more generous maternity benefits?
My kids LOVED chewing on the Tylenol bottle–you know the syringe thingy that is all nice and squishy? When they were teething, we took the Tylenol everywhere with us, only so they could chew on the top. Only, of course, after we made sure the lid was on very, very tightly. I think most of the bottles are spill proof anyway.
Good luck!
Jacob is teething too, so there’s another member of the PAC. Down with dentition! Infant Motrin has been my best friend. Baby socks filled with crushed ice are good, although I’ll have to try that mesh thingy. This too shall pass….I hope.
She is a beauty! That teething thing is miserable… I remember getting a wisdom tooth and really understanding why babies get so irritable.
Look at your sweet, beautiful girl! Oh Alexa, she looks just like a little doll. She is ADORABLE! So, so sweet. I just want to scoop her up and monch those cheeks.
FWIW, my nephews loved chewing on a clean bulb syringe when they were teething. It got right to those back molars and it was nice and squishy. Don’t know if Simone would like that or not. :-)
My Wee Man (who cut two teeth this week) is currently finger-painting placards for BAN. Please have some extra fetching caps ready for the roll/march/crawl/scoot ;)
I, too was thinking about a teething baby versus Republican – who would I rather be in a room with? My verdict is perhaps a Republican could serve as something for a small baby to gnaw on. I imagine most of them to be quite leathery and chewy.
That is indeed one fetching cap and bootie set. I love how Simone is living large and kicking back in that second photo. Adorable.
I had no idea you were local! I don’t know how many of the Jon Stewart billboards are up but if that is the one on 494 right before the Cedar exit – I work right by there! I crack up every time I drive by. I heart Jon Stewart!
I also heart adorable babies in beautiful hats!
Brandy? Opium? I think that’s what they used in the ol’ vaudevillian days.
We’re about to be teething, so I apprecitate all the comments… And of course will add one more to BAN’s PAC.
Oh, and Simone is SUPER cute in that hat. *sigh*
My daughter is just about the same age as Simone, and I hear you on the teething. When two teeny tiny teeth popped through on the bottom, I nearly wept with relief on her behalf. And now I understand all the crying – those suckers are sharp!
I also believe in introducing democracy early. I took my daughter with me to vote in the primary (in PA we didn’t vote until late April). She was cozy in the Baby Bjorn, and a huge hit the with senior citizens working the polls. In November, voting will be old hat to her.
I keep meaning to e-mail you about this, but: I CANNOT BELIEVE I MISSED THE BABY LAUGH BY ONE DAY. She did that on purpose, Alexa. Selfishly, she plots to force the return of my shaky, shaky pigtails.
Still so super cute! With that knit hat she looks just like a perfect little doll.
I agree with Simone. Teething sucks. Wait until you get to molars! When I saw those bad boys starting to poke through our bright red gums, it made me want to cry. What the hell was nature thinking!
Simone is finally growing into herself. I mean that in the way that all babies do – suddenly they don’t look like weeble wobbles with a splash of alien, and suddenly have dimples and cheeks and baby curls. She looks fantastic.
And the teething, it’s the 7th circle of hell. HELL.
Here in my overwhelmingly liberal little city it is considered de rigeur for babies to sport their own little “I VOTED” stickers on election day. Absentees ballots are therefor pointless – although at one point a poll worker gave my daughter an entire sheet of the stickers, so maybe I can just fake it this year…
OMG, I want to eat her up. Teething and all, she’s adorable!
Re: Teeth. I reccomend an amber teething necklace and white wine.
I have no idea why the amber teething necklace works (and frankly the manufacturer’s explanation of something something magnetic fields didn’t illuminate me any further) but I DON’T CARE because I would have been willing to try voodoo if that’s what it took.
All I know is that my son got his first two teeth at four months. That this involved several days and nights of fussyness and crying and very very poor sleep. However since he has had the necklace he has acquired six more teeth with minimal fuss. In the past two months we have only had one bad day when four of the teeth came through at once.
I also find chilled white wine very soothing. I rub a doctor-reccomended drop onto the baby’s gums and sip the rest myself in a leisurly fashion.
Simone is adorable.