Inner Space.
The insertion was better than expected, possibly because I took a double dose of Klonopin beforehand: I was more than relaxed, I was hearing Harpers Bizarre in my head on the ride to the clinic. In the end (HA!), I would say that being Mirena’d was slightly less excruciating than my Hysterosalpingogram. The doctor couldn’t get her device in the first time and had to “try the other side” (which I found alarming, because do cervices have sides?), but the process was mercifully brief and in no time I was at home on my couch watching Tivo’d Gossip Girl* while Scott took care of Simone. The rest of the day was painful, much worse than the insertion itself, but by the day after, the discomfort had been downgraded from “Morphine, STAT!” to “stick-on heating pad, when you get around to it.”
My only remaining issue is with the “strings.” I put “strings” in quotes because the term SHOULD be “wires.” The doctor said she likes to leave them a bit long at first and then trim if needed at my follow up appointment. I readily agreed, because at the time she was mid-insertion and as far as I was concerned she could do whatever she wanted with the damn “strings”—leave them long, cut them short, hell, French braid them for all I care, just GET OUT OF MY VAGINA ALREADY.
But this morning I noticed a…poking sensation. A prickly poking sensation in a place where no girl wants to be poked—well, not by something sharp, anyway. And so I tentatively ventured forth and OH MY GOD the pointy ends of the “strings” are RIGHT THERE, effectively acting as their own none-shall-pass-without-puncture-wounds form of birth control. So yes. That will have to be dealt with.
My last entry, about my obliviousness regarding Simone’s readiness for solids, reminded me of something. Am I the only person who is completely unable to remember any of my questions once I am actually in the pediatrician’s office? And because they’re not exactly emergencies, but rather things-I-suspect-I-should-just-know-but-somehow-don’t, I’m not about to call the clinic after I remember them, either. There seem to be a lot of things in the world of babies that I feel ought to be common sense, but sadly, are not. At least not for me. Par example: Where is the line between the Dr. Karp endorsed soothing jiggle babies seem so fond of and Shaken Baby Syndrome? How often do babies really need to be bathed? Do other parents change their refluxy spawn after they spit up all over themselves, or is it okay to mop them off with a rag and call it a day? What about watching television while breastfeeding? Some experts say it violates the “no TV before age two” rule, but am I really supposed to sit gazing adoringly at my baby during EVERY nursing session when there are perfectly good episodes of Law & Order to watch? If a baby spits up after being given her medicine, should I give it again? I have been told to scrape cradle cap off with a comb, but what if I puncture my poor moppet’s soft spot? It’s so SQUISHY! And what about waxy ears? Q-tips are verboten, I know, but should I be cleaning them somehow? If you have to introduce foods slowly to avoid allergies, why isn’t my baby having allergic reactions to the shellfish and peanuts and wine fruit in my breastmilk?
Humor me—what questions have you failed to ask your pediatrician, either because you forgot or because you were too embarrassed to do so?
*Totally unrelated sidenote: Does it drive anyone else MAD when they say “your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite” at the beginning of every episode? “Source INTO?” “Source INTO?” Why not “window into” or “source for information about?” “Source into” makes my teeth itch.
63 Comments
Oooh, I hope the more experienced parents will weigh in, especially about the bouncing, the medicine, the TV, the ear wax, and the allergies.
I had the same problems with the wires, except I wasn’t the one that discovered them, my husband was if you know what I mean. Poor guy – it took him a while to trust that once “safe” place again. :)
I’m glad to hear the insertion went well. I wasn’t going to write to tell you about my horrific experience with one….so I’m so glad that you didn’t go through what I did. Apparently some one in the next room actually thought I was in labor with all the f-bombs that were dropping!
On the medicine question my doctor says it always looks like they spit up more than they really did. On that note I usually give him just a little bit more to be on the safe side. I don’t think the TV watching is a problem because unless you are very oddly long breasted I doubt Simone will be able to watch the TV and feed at the same time. I only bathed Bear about 2 times a week until he started crawling unless he did something particularly foul. Any more than that and his sweet skin broke out. I used Gentle Naturals cradle cap shampoo after I figured out that the whole combing out the flakes thing is a load of crap. It worked wonders and we never had cradle cap again. I also did some very cautious outer ear cleaning with q-tips since my son has tubes and the drainage got nasty coming out. Can’t help you on the allergies since I didn’t breastfeed. When jiggling Simone just hold her close to you. It is pretty much impossible to shake or jiggle very hard when the baby is cuddled up to you and support her neck.
I currently have my own questions floating through my head…. “will I know when to change the baby? Do I change her on a schedule? Or will I just know when she’s wet or smells?” :) Things I’m *hoping* will come to me naturally….
SOURCE INTO???
Oh, I would have to turn it off immediately, I’m afraid. Or grab a red pen and start circling the air in front of the TV. Grammar nerds unite!
Okay, first off, I watched television obsessively when Elby was a baby and she is smart as a whip. It’s really only in the last year or so that I’m very careful about watching adult programming while she’s around. It’s my opinion that babies just tune out tv that’s on the background. With the new babies it’s hard for me to not have the tv on anyway because Elby now likes to watch her shows and the babies do watch. I’m sure they’ll be smart in spite of it. And if they’re not, I’ll just blame it on Elby.
As far as baths, for the first 9 months, these babies were lucky if they had a bath once a week. Same with Elby. They don’t need a bath unless they’re dirty which really starts happening when they are knee deep into solids. Baths are good for relaxing them though so if you can do it, great but if not, don’t worry. They DEFINITELY don’t need a bath everyday. It’s not even good for their skin to bathe them too often.
I never used a Q-tip on any of their ears but I’m sure as long as you don’t stick it in there it’s fine.
some babies do show allergies to certain food when you’re breast feeding. But some don’t. And I know nothing about cradle cap because MY babies have really pretty scalps. But I’m lucky that way.
he rule I made for myself concerning ears was to only be allowed to remove wax if I could grab it with my fingers, so it had to be coming out pretty well already. That was even when I gave ear oil drops.It still is one I hold to today and he is almost 6. I did do q-tips twice when he was like 3 and 4 and both times it caused major ear problems.
Krista: Excellent questions! This is exactly the sort of thing I’m talking about. It seems like you should just KNOW how often to change a baby, but I certainly didn’t. I am collecting these questions for a project, so keep them coming.
Holly: Oh, I am SO GLAD someone else feels the same way. I have to fast forward through that part because I cannot stand to hear the “source into.” Don’t these shows have someone whose job it is to fix these things? I think we should hire ourselves out.
Stefanie: So what you’re saying is that I should rent an older child on which to blame any of Simone’s television-related stupidity! I like the way you think.
I change my newborn when I hear her poop, or every three hours or so, whichever happens first.
I bath her well, once a week or so, unless her tummy is upset, and I just mop up any spit up. With my shirt. Yeah, I have a wonderful odor right now, lol.
I watch tv while nursing. Heck, right now I’m sleeping in the recliner in the living room, the tv never gets turned off. If my 3 yo is home, its noggin, or pbs, or discovery kids. If not, its history channel or style network, pretty much nothing too bad. My son watched tv, and I watched while I nursed, and its pretty much background noise all the time, but his teachers say he’s smart as a whip, so I don’t feel that bad.
My son had hives for three days to me eating shellfish, but he’s not allergic, lol. We know, he had to do all the poke tests.
You do what you do, and it all tends to work out. Right now I’m taking a break, my daughter is sleeping, in the bouncy chair, in the kitchen, with the water running. So I can get a break. And so she sleeps.
I never know if she’s cold or not. I’ve read that I’m supposed to dress her like I’m dressed, but she doesn’t fit as well into Daddy’s old t-shirts. EVERYONE says she’s too hot or too cold no matter what I put her in.
Anne – yes! I have been scolded by people on the street multiple times for dressing my baby inappropriately. One particularly drunk-seeming guy yelled at me because my baby didn’t have a hat on (I was just walking from the parking lot into the grocery store, not to the end of the earth) and told me that he was going to get scalp cancer because of me. Another guy yelled at me (from across the street) that my baby was cold. He was not cold! He was snuggled in the carrier, and dude, that kid is a furnace, neither of us were cold. I’m sick of the haters.
Hi! Somewhat new reader here, first time commenter. I have to admit that I don’t fully understand the adjusted age thing but I think that my daughter and Simone had very close to the same due date, which means that we went to the pediatrician today for her 4-month appointment.
In response to your questions, I have considered most of these things myself. My answers are as follows:
Where is the line between the Dr. Karp endorsed soothing jiggle babies seem so fond of and Shaken Baby Syndrome?
I don’t know, but it’s probably best to encourage your baby’s grandfather to not sing a happy little jingle in public that goes “Shake the baby, shake the baby.” I speak from personal experience on this one.
How often do babies really need to be bathed?
If the baby hates the bath, it is perfectly acceptable to only bathe the baby when it occurs to you that it’s been a week or so and that maybe you’re pushing the limits here. You may want to pick the fuzz out from between the baby’s fingers and toes more frequently so that other people aren’t immediately aware of your baby-bathing schedule.
Do other parents change their refluxy spawn after they spit up all over themselves, or is it okay to mop them off with a rag and call it a day?
For my philosophy regarding this and all of the other hygiene questions, please see my above answer on bathing. Though I do change the baby’s clothes at least once a day. Usually. If she is very wet I will change her because I find it annoying when a wet baby is touching me.
What about watching television while breastfeeding? Some experts say it violates the “no TV before age two” rule, but am I really supposed to sit gazing adoringly at my baby during EVERY nursing session when there are perfectly good episodes of Law & Order to watch?
I have guilt about this one myself when I saw that three out of three pediatricians on Baby Center’s “your baby this week” said that TV during nursing was a no-no. Then again, they probably don’t think I should sit her down on my lap and adoringly share an episode of “The Secret Lives of Women”, either.
If a baby spits up after being given her medicine, should I give it again?
This one involves math wherein you calculate the time since medicine was given times the half-life of the particular medicine, which amazingly always comes out to giving the baby another .42 times the amount of the original dosage.
I have been told to scrape cradle cap off with a comb, but what if I puncture my poor moppet’s soft spot? It’s so SQUISHY!
I am extremely disturbed by the idea of a punctured soft spot, but my approach to cradle cap is, once again, similar to my approach to bathing.
And what about waxy ears? Q-tips are verboten, I know, but should I be cleaning them somehow?
I know this one! They make safety Q-tips for babies!
If you have to introduce foods slowly to avoid allergies, why isn’t my baby having allergic reactions to the shellfish and peanuts and wine fruit in my breastmilk?
I don’t know but the question that I forgot to ask today involved whether or not I’m allowed to eat honey. This after a panic attack on a plane that involved the baby breastfeeding after I may or may not have dropped a honey-roasted peanut down my shirt.
Hope this helps!
Wow, I am NEVER getting a Mirena! I am made of much less than you are. MUCH LESS.
Yeah, there is so much I think I should know about babies that I don’t. It’s kind of ridiculous. After years of longing for a baby I realized that I was prepared six ways from Sunday for every aspect of pregnancy but had NO CLUE what do after the baby actually arrived. Sam has been gracious with my rather slow learning curve.
FWIW, we leave him in his spit-uppy clothes unless he’s just sopping and going to get cold. We bathe him twice, maybe three times a week. He smells kind of good no matter what we do. And we’re friends with our ped so we just ask his wife whatever we forget and she lets us know what we should do. Anything I’m too embarassed to admit I don’t know, I ask a friend. (I do want my ped to respect me somewhat.)
Oh. And. Thanks to you I am listening to “If I Ever Feel Better” on a continuous loop. That song is addictive!
Meh. I read that the American Academy of Pediatrics doesn’t even give a good goddamn about when you introduce which foods anymore, with regards to allergies (unless you or the little wicket have a history of allergies, YMMV)
In classes, they said “Bathe the babies when they smell,” and we do. Naturally, we always just happen to shampoo their (imaginary) hair before any and all interactions with the inlaws so that we look like good, baby-bathing parents, but other than that, bath time occurs less often than a new moon around here.
Other than the inlaw clause, my guidelines are:
Is the baby smelly? Y/N
Is the baby sticky? Y/N
Did the baby actually vomit (rather than spit up) and is the baby therefore marinating in gross, acid-y bile? Y/N
Did the baby just stick its hand into a diaper full of something that looks like Bill Cosby should be shilling for it? Yeah? Well then, why does it smell like the fucking zoo? God, that’s rank. Also, what the hell is that? Did you feed her that? Well, *I* didn’t feed her that. I hope I can get it out from under her fingernails. Do we have a nail brush that small? OH MY GOD, HER HAND IS APPROACHING HER MOUTH! I kiss her mouth with that mouth! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Y/N
If yes, hose baby down. If no, a wet washcloth or damp rag does wonders.
Oh, and we scritch cradle crap. As in, ruffle the baby’s hair with your fingers and then pretend you’re scratching a puppy. They don’t seem to mind, and it’s easy to control the force/depth of scritching.
PS~ With Sam’s reflux meds, if he spits most of it out, I measure out a third of the original dose and give it to him again. No one told me to do this, he was just so miserable that I had to do something. And it seems to work for us. In really hard times when he’s screaming like he’s going to die I coat his pacifier in cherry Mylanta. Sends him right off to sleep. Works with Mylicon drops too but not as well.
When I first had my M inserted the wires annoyed me for a couple days, and I actually called to make an appointment to have them shortened, but my doc advised me to wait a bit, and they softened up (due to the natural moisture in the vagina) over time. When they soften up, they either curl up or get stuffed up toward your cervix, so my husband doesn’t feel them anymore, either. In the beginning, though, it helped to go in there and manually move the strings around (don’t pull, just push them around a bit) until they were in a more comfortable spot. It generally only bothered me right after I used the bathroom. He felt the strings during sex for about the first month, and now he only feels them occasionally, or when we’re in a really acrobatic position. ;)
The rest of your questions: Shaken baby syndrome happens violently. If you are lovingly jiggling your baby, you won’t harm her. Even if you are vigorously jiggling, she’ll be fine. You have to really lose control to shake a baby badly enough to hurt her. It’s like whiplash. It would feel wrong to you, I think, instinctively, if you were jiggling her hard enough to hurt her.
My kids got their first bath in a week last night (literally, a week) and they’re 1-1/2 and 3. We were just really busy. With little babies, if you bathe them every day, their skin will get too dry. Every other day is fine. Every third day is fine, unless she gets diaper rash or stinks. I’ve been known to go every fourth day, and no one has called CPS yet. About the occasional week – let’s just not tell anyone, ok?
Spit up – Mop them off with a rag and call it a day. My goodness, who wants to do that much laundry? Unless you’re going someplace, or someone’s coming over, or they start to smell, who cares?
If she’s really refluxy, try putting a bib on her to catch the worst of it, then you can just change the bib, rather than the whole outfit, when she has yakked X times (where X = the number of times that are your threshold of grossness to leave it on her. My kids never spit up much, so mine was two, but if yours spits up all the time, it might be higher).
I would lay on my side and nurse my kids while I read a book or watched TV all the time. The biggest danger is if a commercial comes on and suddenly the TV is interesting to the baby, and they turn to look at it without remembering to let go of the nipple. Ouch. We didn’t really worry about TV being on with the kids in the room until we noticed them paying attention to it – around 9 or 10 months. We didn’t have kids shows on, we watched adult shows. It was completely over their little heads. I don’t think the experts have ever raised actual kids.
Although, you should try to not watch it at night if you want her to sleep, because it fouls up their circadian rhythms, and she may not be able to sleep as well if the TV has been on right before bed. Tivo. Gotta love it.
Regarding the medicine, that one you definitely want to write down and ask the doctor, or call, because it depends on what the medicine is and what it’s for. Tylenol, no. Ibuprofen, maybe, depending on why you’re giving it (pain, probably not, but for a fever, maybe. Or if they spit up all the ibuprofen for a fever, I might give them tylenol, instead, and vice versa). This is a question for your doctor.
The best thing for my kids’ cradle cap was to give them a bath, comb their hair in the wrong direction, put Burts Bees Apricot Baby Oil on, and then comb it again. Cured it right quick. I didn’t scrape, so much as I sort of picked at it (like you would a scab) gently and then combed out the flakes. If you think you could puncture the squishy soft spot, you’re using too much force.
You can use a Q-tip on the outer part of the ear if she’s grungy (from spit up running into her ear, for example) just don’t stick it in the ear hole. The hole will take care of itself. It is self-cleaning (like an oven!). Then once the stuff works its way to the outer ear, grab it with a Q-tip or with a washcloth wrapped around your pinky. (Or your pinky, if you’re me).
Finally, I believe that the reason we’re seeing an upswing in allergies is because so many mothers in our generation weren’t breastfed, so now many of our generation’s kids are the second generation not being breastfed. Your body breaks down the micronutrients in the food you eat so the baby can handle them, and in my opinion, this prevents allergies. I am not a doctor. Or a scientist. I’m a business manager, so what do I know?
I totally ignored the “introduce foods on this schedule” thing, by the way, with my second kid, and she is fine (with the first I had spreadsheets). Sugar free applesauce (just buy the grown up kind, it’s the same) is a great first food. Baby cereal never did anything for either of my kids except teach them to spit and get constipated. When I was making dinner, I’d just throw a bit of whatever we were having (unless it was spicy, I kept jarred baby food for spicy food nights, pizza nights, etc.) in my Magic Bullet blender and mush it up. WAY cheaper than buying prepared baby food. Think of jarred baby food as fast food. Give Simone what you’re eating. It’s what she’s already used to. (Of course, don’t give her 11 different foods at her first meal. One at a time, wait, then another, wait, then another, but pretty soon she’ll be eating everything you’re eating, and it won’t be any big deal to just smash up a handful of peas for her).
I write questions for our doctors down, so that I don’t forget to ask when I’m there.
Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com (sorry for the huge comment)
Krista – if you pinch the front of the diaper, gently, you can tell whether or not it’s wet. And of course, you’ll smell poop. Babies are like worms, digestively, and if something goes in, something will come out, so generally you’re going to want to change them a few minutes after a meal or before a sleep. You’ll figure it out! Don’t worry about a schedule.
Amy @ prettybabies again
I forget questions so much that I actually bring a list with me to the Dr. now. If I don’t, I forget everything as soon as I see her.
Changed refluxy baby when she was wet, if it was small, no change. M had a bath once a week until she started really getting some hair, then twice a week. 18 months, still twice a week. More than that, she gets itchy. Oh, and I use Akeeyu’s in-law clause too. Otherwise, washcloths work great for small mess control. I feed her messiest foods on bath day, cause I’m smart like that.
I watched TV all the time while she was at the boob. Kept me from losing my mind. Started turning it off when she started noticing it.
I use qtips on her very waxy ears, only on whatever makes it to the part I can see. She has tubes now, and I like cleaning the wax so I can see if there is other discharge.
I believe the breast milk helps prevent the allergies, but also has antibodies. Biggest issue is not allergies for those kinds of things when starting out, but what their dear little stomaches can digest.
I still grab M’s crotch to see how wet her diaper is, I should stop doing that, I’m starting to get looks.
For the really odd comments, like about why her one toe is massively larger than the other, I just ask the Internet, or my mom.
Anne – rule of thumb – put the baby in one more layer of clothes than you’re comfortable in. So if you’re in a t-shirt and jeans, put the baby in a long sleeved shirt and long pants. If you need a sweater, the baby needs something warm and fleecy and maybe a blanket (or lots of snuggling body heat). If you’re running around in shorts and a tank top and you’re still sweltering, the baby is fine in a diaper or a onesie. If you need long sleeves outside, put the baby in a coat.
My mom is constantly telling me my kids are too hot or cold. It’s really annoying. You can tell from the feel of their skin whether they’re comfortable or not. If they’re comfortable, they’ll feel like a normal temperature on their hands and feet. If they’re too hot, they’ll have hot hands and feet. If they’re too cold, their hands and feet will be like ice.
I’ll never forget the first time my kid’s teeth chattered – we were inside Walmart and the temp dropped really quickly, and she didn’t have a coat. On the way back to the car, she looked up at me with these big eyes, and her teeth were chattering. I felt AWFUL. My poor freezin’ baby!
She’s fine. Didn’t even get sick. Then we started keeping extra blankets in the car.
Amy AGAIN
Ah, the mirena….
I’m thinking I may go that route, when I’m finished using my uterus, since they don’t routinely take out spare parts any more…. :)
J
Chiming in from the world of pediatric neurosurgery: nobody ever jiggled their baby to shaken baby syndrome. That’s how we always know a baby has been abused when they have signs of shaken baby- you absolutely, positively CANNOT accidentally give your child those kinds of injuries.
Jiggle to your heart’s content:)
I’m annoying myself here… I sound like such a know it all, but I’ve been through all this, so I feel like I have to help you all…
No honey until age 2. No peanuts either, unless you like living on the edge like me, in which case you’ll decide to go ahead and let your youngest child finish eating the swiped PB&J that you made your older child, since she doesn’t seem to be dying, even though she’s only 1, and you’ll feed it to her thereafter without incident.
She eats honey too, because I waited until she was one, and I didn’t realize that they’d changed the guideline from one year to two until after I’d started feeding it to her. And we’re fine. And we go through MAYBE two bottles of honey a year, so I am already confident that the one she’s been eating from doesn’t have botulism.
Flicka – once you get past the initial discomfort, the Mirena rocks. I don’t get periods anymore, have no side effects, don’t have to think about it for 5 years, and don’t have to pay a co-pay to go get a prescription refill every 6 or 12 months. It’s only uncomfortable for a couple weeks, a month at most, and then it’s AWESOME.
Ok, I am SHUTTING UP NOW, I swear.
Let me tell you, my 32 week 3 lb preemie had a rare congenital heart defect that we did not learn about till he was 1 (despite me taking him to the doctor every 3 weeks asking why he breathed like baby Darth Vader and “powerbooted” as my husband called his enormous vomits. The heart defect is called either “vascular ring” or “double aortic arch”…basically he HAD two aortic arches, and his esophagus and trachea were compressed between the two arches. So, he vomited…A LOT! I usually wiped him down…it would have been too much to bathe him each and every time. It was not unusual for him to vomit 15 times a day…consequently, despite not being a micro-preemie (though he was IUGR) he weighed only 14 pounds when he turned 1.
*Aiden’s defect was fixed shortly after turning 1, and other than having a bit of tracheomalacia still, he is fine. It was a one time fix–though very scary at the time—he spent 2 days in cardiac ICU, then 3 days in a regular room.
One question: I guess I am stupid…what is the problem with the “source into”? 3 kids has fried my brains I guess, though chances are I never knew the answer. I can barely sign my name anymore.
Cindy
Regarding the cradle cap – we tried baby oil( but then it became really hard to hold the baby and not get you and everything else their head touches greasy!), using a gentle comb to get it out, etc. but we found a drop of T-Gel shampoo to work best. Smells good and softens it all up. Good luck!
ugg. i saw that piece at babycenter too about not watching tv while nursing. are you kidding me? maybe if you nurse for three weeks and then switch to artificial milk, it seems reasonable to not watch tv while you nurse. for the rest of us…
i am chiming in as a mother of four, two of whom are still nursing and as an MD. your baby is nursing (i.e. facing you!) of course it is fine to watch tv, surf the internet, chat with your friends…it is what we all do!
my goodness, that is one of the absolute lifesavers of nursing – baby is nursing, baby’s needs are being completely met, mama can focus on something else for the time being.
Hmmm.
I take a list of questions to ped. appointments. It’s not usually a long list, but I’m certainly not going to remember them if I don’t write them down.
I bathe the kid at the moment of having discovered a poopy diaper if it’s convenient to do so, and not otherwise (if not, obviously, wipes are strategically deployed instead…) except in remarkably extenuating circumstances. This usually works out to be every 2nd or 3rd day.
My general rule about changing the baby is that if he’s not soaked and his clothes are no grubbier than they’re likely to be again within 30 minutes of my having changed him then I don’t. He not uncommonly sleeps in what he played in or, conversely, plays in what he slept in. We very, very rarely go more than 24 hours, though.
Wait, I wasn’t supposed to watch TV while breastfeeding? What about checking email? Listening to Marly & Me on CD? Urp. I’m sorry, but as long as I’m only jiggling and not shaking the baby, both my ped and babycenter (and their peds) need to stay out of my den.
I do agree with what someone else said, that you should actually check with a doctor on the meds question, because with some getting too much is dangerous.
We use olive oil and a stiff-ish adult nylon-bristle hairbrush to take on cradle cap; it hasn’t solved the problem but seems to help.
I too am of the “if I can grab it with my fingers (or even smear it with my pinky if I’m feeling ambitious), earwax should come out — otherwise I ignore it.
No help on the allergies and have largely ignored the “rules,” many of which are based on little or no scientific evidence.
Oh, here’s a tip for when she’s a little older…there may come a point where it’s actually easier to execute diaper changes while she’s standing up.
My baby hasn’t had a bath in more than a week (whoops). And people keep taking big fat sniffs of her head and saying how good and baby-yum she smells.
But normally I would bathe her a couple times a week.
I too always forget to ask questions (though I am trying to remember to write them down), and what is REALLY annoying to me is that I now have two children and I feel like a first time Mom all over again (in my defense, this second one came with GERD and a hemangioma)… but its crazy how I thought I had it all figured out and then my second baby came along and everything I thought I knew went flying out the window.
The question I most want answered next week at our check up is about my daughters hemangioma (or strawberry birthmark) Allie’s is on her forehead, a place where my son had MANY a battle scar from learning to walk etc. Since a hemangioma is basically a collection of blood vessels right up by the skin, what happens if she scrapes her head there? Am I going to be faced with massive amounts of blood? I mean it looks like the blood is right there! So If i walk out of both of her appts next week (her 4 month check up and her dermatology check up to see how the hemagioma is doing) I am going to be livid with myself!
Baths…. 3yr old gets one daily (otherwise EWWW he plays hard and sweats too much) 4 month old 2-3 times a week or as needed.
Reflux clothes…. yes i change her unless its a tiny bit and I cant smell it, if i can smell that horrible reflux smell its new outfit time.
Eh, I have very few answers for you, but I remember thinking the very same things as you. Somehow you just fuddle your way through it!
I will say that from my experience you will know if Simone is allergic to something you are eating. My son’s face erupted in terrible facial eczema at about 3 months old, and it was just starting to spread over his body. At 4 months old he had a skin prick test and was allergic to the dairy I was eating and passing through my breastmilk. And that explained why he screamed for the first few months of his life – it was eating away at his gut. Up until then though the paediatrician just said “oh, he’s colicky”. Yeah, thanks a fucking lot.
You’ll know eventually, is my point!
Oh yeah, we have had all of those questions, too. Managed to figure out some of them:
Shaken Baby is like whiplash, where their little heads go back and forth violently. Bathing was something that never seemed to happen when Asher first came home from the hospital. He was dirty. We were lucky if we did it once a week. Now we do it nearly every evening, and he loves it. Ah, how much spit up is too much? Baffling, really. I’ve decided to go by some internally satisfying ratio of Wetness : Surface Area, with the idea being that I don’t want him to be cold. So, if something has spit-up on it, and it dries, what do you do with it? Toss it aside til laundry day? Spray it with something and soak it and dry it and then toss it aside til laundry day? Am I really writing about this? I found these baby-safe Q-tips at Target, with wide bases so they can’t go to far in. Isn’t it kind of fun to get their earwax? Or is that something you’re not supposed to admit?
I *think* my 3 month-old had a bath within this past week. What day is it again?
She’s vomited profusely twice all over me. I changed my clothes and wiped myself down with a washcloth. She got the same treatment.
Her hair’s starting to look like a bad comb-over, and her neck smells like inner belly button, so I reckon that it’s time for full-body immersion.
BTW, my 2 year-old was not routinely bathed either, and he seems just fine. We are a too-clean culture as it is, causing allergies and asthma and stuff. I’m doing my part here.
Okay so I am lazy and I just copied and pasted and figured I would try and answer them as I could. I have lived through 3 boys and at the moment sleep training #3…so not fun try to make good sleep association now before she gets much older..
Where is the line between the Dr. Karp endorsed soothing jiggle babies seem so fond of and Shaken Baby Syndrome? As long as you don’t think it is to rough she should be fine.
How often do babies really need to be bathed? I bathe mine every night it is part of bedtime routine.
Do other parents change their refluxy spawn after they spit up all over themselves, or is it okay to mop them off with a rag and call it a day? If it was really bad or smelly I change him but other than that I would just wipe him up I don’t have time for that much laundry.
What about watching television while breastfeeding? I watch tv while feeding mine and they all seem fine. A girl needs some adult interaction when she is home with baby all day even it if is just the tv.
Some experts say it violates the “no TV before age two” rule, but am I really supposed to sit gazing adoringly at my baby during EVERY nursing session when there are perfectly good episodes of Law & Order to watch? Up to you but I say watch and have a good time.
If a baby spits up after being given her medicine, should I give it again? This I would ask the doctor
I have been told to scrape cradle cap off with a comb, but what if I puncture my poor moppet’s soft spot? You aren’t going to puncture her. Do it when you give her a bath it comes off easier
And what about waxy ears? Q-tips are verboten, I know, but should I be cleaning them somehow? They are large Q-tips I use those or a wet washcloth also works well
Humor me—what questions have you failed to ask your pediatrician, either because you forgot or because you were too embarrassed to do so? I have forgotten so many things…Then to call and ask the nurse when we got home. I try to make a list and go over it with the doctor when we go in now. It saves some of the trouble but not all.
Hope that was helpful…So glad that the insertion went well. Good luck!!!
We follow the bathe when stinky rule, or when a freaky amount of poo comes out and spreads beyond the expected boundaries. But I will again promote the plan to wash baby’s bum in the tub at each change, especially for those of us who get small babies. We did this when teeny-tiny Claire had bad diaper rash and the rub of a wipe was too much for satin cheeks. You just grip the baby by the chest with one hand and stick her lower half under the faucet in the tub, with other hand splashing water in babe’s nether region until clean. Yes this means poo goes down my tub, but breastfed baby poo is pretty innocuous and it kept my girl rash free and happy and then I was fine with less bathing. And you have to wash the neck and watch for milk build up in the folds of the neck from leaky mouths or I hear you can get a yeast infection. We change the oufit when the neck gets stiff from milk ooze or the bottom gets a poo stain, otherwise clothes might last a couple days or so, unless you want a new fashion statement. That idea about giving Tylenol instead of Motrin if one gets spit up is great, because one gets metabolized in the liver and the other in the kidneys, so you give each organ a break if you alternate doses. I never beat the cradle cap last baby, I’m going to come back to this page next time it shows up in my life – thanks to all for the tips. TV-schmee vee – I have now made two non breastfeeders after hospital stays so we pump and bottle feed which doubles the time commitment and I would fully lose it if I had no TV to distract me. I turned it off when the older one started to look at it and I went back to work and therefore had less time to gaze at her face while feeding. Baby Primero is smart as a whip and sharp as a tack. I just now started letting her watch Oswald when Baby after Primero showed up.
Hemangioma! I am so pathetic I forgot to even ask on separate visits (it is hidden on her upper back) because I was so worried about whether I might cause her death or brain damage by not feeding her on time because she has MCAD (a metabolic disorder from that heel stick screening panel). Don’t sweat the small stuff, and the smallness of things can vary from family to family. Not every baby likes cereal. Not every baby takes to food right away. Get your baby tested for metabolic disorders if your state has the small panel.
I think we all need to learn to give ourselves a break. Someone email that to me the next time I freak out about my skills, please.
I feel better. I love you guys!! Especially you, Alexa.
Your strings will soften and eventually curl up behind your cervix. It might take a couple of months though, just to warn you!
It’s too late at night to answer all of the other questions, but it looks like you’ve gotten lots of input already!
Shaken baby syndrome: I think you’d have to shake a whole lot harder than you could imagine as a non-hysterical parent. My little one loved being thumped rhymically and HARD on the back as a tiny. I always worried that I was going to break her ribs, but it appears little babies like that sort of vigorous interaction a bit more than their mothers always feel comfortable with.
Bathing: only when it seems convenient/utterly necessary. If a wipe will do, and no one’s in the mood for a bath – no bath.
TV while feeding: hell yes. Jeez. It’s fine for them to be aware TV exists just so long as you aren’t plunking her down in front of Baby Einstein every day.
I’m sure someone mentioned this, but what I do for those easy to forget questions is write them down on a notecard when I think of them. I then bring the note card into the appointment and go through the questions. I use a notecard, because it’s easy to stick into your pocket so that you have it handy.
I did this way more in the beginning when he nursed 3242 times a day, and I had nothing to do other than sit there and think about how much I didn’t know.
I so know where you’re coming from with the questions to which you think you ‘should’ know the answer!
As a second-soon-to-be-third time around mum, my approach to cleanliness is fairly lax. Bathing my two (aged two and one) happens at least weekly, but usually not more than twice a week, and I only use plain water to avoid skin problems, or at the very most, a soap-free shampoo for my eldest’s hair. I do make sure face, hands, neck and nappy area are kept clean with plain warm water. Regarding the spit-up, both mine did this a lot and I agree with Julia, unless they were really wet, a quick wipe with a muslin would do. Life and babies’ early weeks/months are too short to spend forever bathing, changing and doing laundry.
I spent most of my feeding times in the early months with my first in front of the TV, though we don’t have one now, so 20 mins DVD time is all they get (I don’t deliberately let my youngest watch it, but sometimes she gets interested by what’s on!)
Cradle cap: I tried olive oil on my first and nothing on my second, and it made no difference whatsoever, so I advocate letting nature take its course.
With ear wax, I just wash the part of the ear I can see with a clean finger when bathing or washing their faces if I can see wax, otherwise definitely no q-tips! My husband is a doctor and reckons they are the cause of many ear problems, so I’ve had to stop using them too, and am none the worse for it!
Hope this helps, but most of all, give yourself a break! Us mums worry too much as it is about our little ones. They’re resilient little creatures and as long as they’re fed, rested and most of all loved, you’re doing a great job!
We combed and combed and combed and the cradle cap kept coming back.
The solution? I wet her hair down as if to wash it, and massaged in some olive oil. Washed 3x with baby shampoo to get all the oil out, never had another flake.
Cradle cap: none of the recommended treatments (brushing, oil, etc.) worked for my two boys. The cradle cap was taking over their whole scalp! What finally worked: A tiny dab of diluted Head and Shoulders shampoo scrubbed in and then well rinsed got rid of the worst cases in a matter of days.
Introducing solid food: some baby books make a big deal about the order that the foods are introduced. Forget it. The baby will like some things and hate others. I tried the recommended plain cereal first – complete failure. Bananas and prunes were a hit, as were carrots and peas. They accepted cereal afterward – with a little flavor (fruit or veggie) added.
I always write down questions for the doctor. But here are two ridiculous ones we DID remember to ask: Why has his penis disappeared? (Answer: Baby fat). And my husband: Are his ear holes open? (Answer: Yes.)
I’m a total nerd. I actually type out our questions and give a copy to the doctor when we arrive. I love the look on her face and the “Oh!” in her voice when she see my list. But I’m a dork.
The one question I have always had but way am too embarrassed to ask is: Do I have to wipe their bottoms everytime I change the diaper even if it’s not poopy? I mean obviously I wipe myself every time, but boys don’t so…
I think all of your questions are very reasonable!
I want the mirena too, only I had fibroid surgery in 04 and now have a misshapen uterus, so I think that rules me out. If you know otherwise, please let me know. As far as the non-life threatening parenting questions, I highly recommend ECFE here in Minnesota. The baby class (Westside-St Paul) on Tuesday a.m. still has room in it and it’s your chance to ask all those questions and have over an hour of connecting with other parents while your child plays in another (!) room. It’s very hippie-esque and the teachers are great. I go to Friday am class ’cause my daughter is older. BTW-totally watch tv while you nurse, no guilt either!
Have you googled “Mirena” and seen the complaints? Why not just a regular IUD?
Teeth itch, love it! How do you scratch teeth?
The questions, oy! I used to ask the inane ones like diaper changing then just became a crotch grabber like all the others. What used to freak me out was the smell test for poop. Once they hit solids, the smell test goes to a whole new level and so does your smell tolerance!
Babies don’t get durty, they only get dusty….
I can’t contribute much to this one, as I never had an IUD inserted. I sure hope the strings do not irritate your husband in his very private area.
My daughter used baby oil on my grandkids scalps for cradle cap – they all had it. It softens the stuff and it’s easier to wash out with bathing. In cold weather, just make sure Simone has some sort of hat on and booties or socks. Little kids lose body heat out of their feet and out the top of their heads.
You’re doing great and are a wonderful mom!
Usually doctor’s visits go like so:
For the few weeks before an appointment I obsess about questions. I’m a speech therapist, so I diagnose her with a variety of rare disorders found mostly in the !Kung population (e.g. – “could this be a worm under her skin here?”). Then I make a detailed list of questions that would best be treated by medicating *me*, consult my husband, add practical questions (e.g., “Is she old enough to eat stage 2 foods?”).
Then I get to our doctor, who is wonderful. He checks her out, says she’s perfect asks if I have any questions… “nope! I think she is doing GREAT!” I chirp. Happens every time.
Oh well.
As regards bathing – babies don’t *need* it, but it can be a nice part of a bedtime routine. We never bathed my older daughter (once every week or two). She never smelled. But then as an older baby who could get quite stinky, she hated the bath and a battle raged on with much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
So with the younger one we “bathe” her. We sit her in lukewarm water each night, rinse her off, let her play for a few minutes, moisturize and then put her bed. It is the best regimin for her eczema (better than not bathing). She loves it and hopefully we’ll have avoided the battle.
There is no evidence whatsoever that avoiding all those allergenic foods while breastfeeding helps at all.
Re: Strings – I was told the same thing – long at first, then they trim them. Also, that they soften up over time, curling somewhat at the ends. It has been a long time since I’ve had any unpleasant poking, nor my hubby.
Re: Refluxy spawn – I had a spitty baby, and where I drew the line was if her clothes were drenched, I changed them. If they were just a bit damp, I didn’t. I was also a big fan of large bibs.
Re: Bathing – Do it when baby smells bad.
Re: No TV – HA!
Re: Waxy Ears – I was advised to use warm water in the ears to loosen it up, and it would not build up too much. I guess let your baby’s ears go into the warm bath water when you do bathe the stinky little cutie-pie.
I was constantly forgetting questions to ask, too. It helped to write questions down at the moment they would occur to me, and then bring a list along.
I always forget at least one of my questions, and I’m good about writing them down in the few days up to the appointment.
My daughter is 7+ months and now that I’m at the “every 3 months” appointments, it’s killing me. A lot happens in 3 months! I have tons of questions!
I did find “The Baby Book” by Dr. Sears, et al to be very useful in the “helpful baby facts” category.
The Sears’ say bathe every few days – I give her a bath when she gets smelly or looks filthy (more now that she’s crawling, but I still only do it maybe twice a week).
Don’t have too much of a reflux problem (thank God!) but used to have a major leaky diaper problem. Got to where I’d change her every time she leaked because – who wants to sit in clothes stained in excrement? But now, if she’s not soaked (mostly food stains these days) I leave her in it – too much laundry as it is!
As far as the TV goes – my original intention was to not watch TV around her when I thought she noticed it (I started out watching while nursing), but now she loves TV, so I try to limit how much I watch while she’s awake.
I’m having my Mirena OUT OUT OUT on Tuesday because I hate it even more than I hate condoms, and that’s saying something, so I can offer no assvice on the strings.
Until Simone is crawling and sticking her hands in the houseplants and litter box and is well into solid foods, I’d say bathe her…oh, whenever. A few swabs with a wipe did the trick until my baby started to locomote. (He’s allergic to every soap invented, so even now his baths are infrequent and lather-free, but no one’s complained or moved away from him on the subway.)
First time commenter here….
TV while breastfeeding: Of course I did! Both girls turned out fine (ages 10 & 12 now).
Cradle cap: Try California Baby, they have a product specifically for that & it works great & is all-natural.
Bathing: We only bathed them once or twice a week at that age unless they became too stinky. Just a quick wipe-off worked fine for regular spit-ups.
Questions for Dr.: I wrote them down and took them to the ped.–I could never remember otherwise.
Mirena: I want it but am too wimpy to try. I’ve been on the pill a long time & wonder if the hormone effects will be similar with Mirena?
Oh seriously, I did the exact same thing. And nearly every question you mentioned, I had wondered about as well. The thing is I got lucky to have such a great ped who spends a good half hour at each appointment, telling me all sorts of things I wouldn’t have known otherwise. Like babies shouldn’t sleep in hooded clothes. I mean it makes sense when you think about it but I would not have thought about it except for the fact that I wouldn’t put a baby to bed in a jacket and hoods attached to jumpers would annoy me to no end so he wouldn’t have been in one to begin with. The question I forgot to ask at the last appointment…will his flat spot ever appear to be not so flat or is that permanent?
No TV while breastfeeding! A MAN had to come up with that one. I watched an ENTIRE season of Gilmore Girls while I was a home breastfeeding. I always thought the “no TV before 2″ was because you should be interacting with them, not just plopping them in front of the TV. I actually let C watch it when I cut his fingernails because I would never accomplish it otherwise. The only time I don’t have it on now when breastfeeding is the last meal of the day because he is trying to go to sleep so I turn off everything but a very dim light. And other times if it seems to be distracting him.
Bathing…C got a bath once a week until he was a few months old. Then we started incorporating it into a bedtime routine so now he gets a quick dunk every night but we only wash his hair every other. And we use California Baby everything so it is pretty mild.
I am going in for a consult for Mirena on the 15th. I am a little scared but then it can’t be worse than labor right?
What impresses me is how much better the LolMirenaz’ punctuation is than the LolCatz’. Apostrophes are a lost art.
Pretty much every time I’ve gone to the pediatrician, I’ve been so exhausted and stupefied that I’ve failed to ask questions. Not only that, I’ve answered questions THEY ask wrong. “How’s your son’s disposition?”
“Great!” Then, ten minutes later: “Did I say great? Oh I mean about the disposition thing, way back at the beginning of the visit. Yeah, about that? I meant not great. I meant, he hits himself a lot and seems really unhappy and he refuses to eat and he screams in the night and I’m horribly, horribly worried about how he’s taking his dad and I splitting up. TELL ME WHAT TO DO.”
Or, “How’s Gabriel sleeping?”
“Great.”
Later.
“Oh, um, yeah, the sleeping? NOT GREAT! See, he doesn’t really nap, and he knows how to get out of his crib, so he does, and I don’t know what to do about it because he’s only ten months old and he doesn’t even WALK yet, so I don’t even really know how he gets out but I wake up in the middle of the night because he’s crawling ON THE FLOOR IN MY ROOM. And the sleeping is not great. Not great at all.”
That’s not even minding the things that I have failed to ask, like why won’t he nurse, what’s with his umbilical hernia, does he need a flu shot, when can he start solids, how many hours a night should he be sleeping, etc. etc. etc.
I neither watch Law and Order nor gaze attuningly at my baby as I feed: I pick their tiny noses and ears. So there’s really no need for qtips anyway.
Mineral oil for the cradle cap scalp and baby oil in the ears for wax build up or when they start to smell funky. That’s what my pediatrician told me and it seems to work well. And I was all for watching TV during nursing and a little leftover spit up never hurt anyone.
So… I use a cloth (normally) the corner of a muslin or burping cloth is ideal, folded over for gentle poking requirement of the ear area. I also use but very gently the kiddie q-tips but avoid pressing them at all, and just use them around the edges of the opening.
As far as baby vomit goes, if I catch it fast and not let it impregnate the fabric of her clothes then sometimes I leave her in a slightly stained outfit, as otherwise I feel like it is bad for the environment (and it helps alleviate my guilt to think this too!!) I can’t imagine babies in Victorian times and earlier being changed several times daily (no washing machines!!) so voila, I lay the guilt to rest!
Cradle cap I did comb off but avoided touching the fontanelle too much. My little one has hardly had any more as a result. I found that doing it after gently crubbing with a sponge in the bath first, helped considerably!
Which brings us on to baths… I think kids need them when they are very poopy, pukey or drooly or when their extremeties are cold. I try to bath her every night to help her into a routine but sometimes have left it for 3or even four! (guilt again).
As for Karp and the medicine questions, i asked myself the exact same ones!!!
Both of my daughters had horrible cradle cap and as satisfying as it is to pick at it, it doesn’t help in the long term. What I found worked best was just good old dandruff shampoo. Head and Shoulders works great. I had less success with tea tree shampoo. Just make sure it doesn’t get into her eyes and remember not to dress her in black, in case she gets flakes of dandruff on her shoulders, which causes social ostracism. Seriously, dandruff shampoo.
:-)
We have always bathed the babies only once or twice a week – unless somebody gets really covered in shit. and yes, I often just wiped off the spitup and called it a day. And I love the “Safety Swabs” – can’t remember if they’re Johnson’s or Q-Tips brand, but they have them at most drug-stores or babies r us. You can pretty agressively clean the ear, without risking sticking it in too far. and I definitely watch TV while breastfeeding.
My son is 19 months and still has cradle cap! You can’t see it of course unless you really look but I feel guilty that I didn’t work harder to get rid of it earlier.
My twins get bathed every 5-6 days. They don’t look greasey or smell bad so I’m going to stick with that schedule cause bathing twins isn’t easy!
ok, breastfeeding during nursing…I’ve got to assume they mean that it’s not even good to have the tv on in the background cause how could a baby look at a tv and be on the boob at the same time? So is it also not good to have the radio on? give me a break.
Mine just turned 5 and I KNOW that I had questions, but her infant months are kindof a blur…A happy blur:)
I had a Mirena in about a month ago. The pain on insertion was AGONY (I’ve never had a kid and I usually have bad cramps during periods so that may be part of it), and I remained in agony for 2 days. The cramps were like hard contractions every minute or so, so much so that I couldn’t sit still/lie down/stand up without gritting my teeth and moaning.
The only thing that eased the cramps during the first TWO WEEKS enough so that I could sleep was sitting in extremely hot baths for an hour at a time. So hot that the pain of burning skin took my mind off my burning uterus.
4 weeks on now, I still have cramps every other day or so. Quite significant ones. I’m trying to stick it out so that I haven’t gone through all this for nothing. But it’s about time now that I get on with my life so…basically…I wish I had gotten an implant instead!!