Cute Overload.
November 1st, 2006: Hooray! NaBloPoMo! This is going to be great!
November 2nd, 2006: Oh my god, I have to post AGAIN? I just posted yesterday! This was a terrible idea. Remind me not to do this next year.
November 1st, 2007: WHEEE! NaBloPoMo! Let’s get this party started!
November 2nd, 2007: What was I thinking? Never again, mark my words. Jesus, there are still 28 days to go.
November 1st, 2008: On your mark! Get set! POST!
November 2nd, 2008: *Sigh*
******
It seems impossible that I am struggling to think of post topics already, what with the election of my lifetime only two days away and Simone’s hearing appointment the day after that. Things are hopping! And yet here I sit, stumped, pecking mulishly at my keyboard.
I blame the fact that I’m coming off of several days of infant misanthropy and sleep aversion rivaling anything I have experienced. Simone’s slumber has been deteriorating since she outgrew the Miracle Blanket, and in the past few days she began sleeping for progressively shorter periods, thus becoming overtired and needing more and more soothing to fall asleep in the first place. Finally she stopped napping altogether, resumed every-two-hour night-waking, and devolved into one long shrieking baby wail that waxed and waned but was always present like a drooly air raid siren clinging to my shoulder. I was so tired and frazzled at one point yesterday that I had to do that thing they tell you about while you are still in the hospital watching the NEVER NEVER SHAKE A BABY video (which seemed ridiculous in our case, as we couldn’t hold Simone, much less shake her), namely that I actually had to plop my crying child in her crib and walk away, leaving the room to count to ten and take deep, slightly hysterical breaths, because I was seconds from screaming at her to SHUT HER STUPID MILK HOLE. And then I cried, because what kind of mother gets angry with a baby? But today, after more of the not-sleeping, I snatched a up a giant quilt-blanket in a moment of desperation, figuring it was too big for Simone to wiggle out of, and bundled the child in it as tightly as I could. And just like that, she slept. FOR SIX HOURS. In fact, she is sleeping now, swaddled and then placed inside a sleepsack to keep the swaddle secure, an idea one of you gave me in the comments.
Her occupational therapist will be disappointed in us, but Simone is obviously not ready to sleep unfettered, as evidenced by the fact that she lost consciousness the SECOND we reswaddled her, as if to say “You dumb fucks, couldn’t you see that this is what I needed all along?” And if this is what Simone needs, then I am going to give it to her for now, age-appropriate or not. You win this time, baby, but note that my flouting of age-appropriateness will not apply to the ensembles you see in the window of JAYLE BAITE! or whatever horrifying, whore-ifying tween emporium is popular in your upcoming heyday.
SOOOOOO, if anyone has any requests for the upcoming fortnights of mandated posting, feel free to send them along. Otherwise you may be in for a tedious (but cute!) four-week-long baby picture death march.
72 Comments
I seriously read the title of this post as “Cute Overlord.” Obviously I too am feeling the nablopomo second-day oppression.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, has had to put down their screaming baby and walk away. EVERYONE. And if someone doesn’t admit that that someone is lying. Or a robot. Or a lying robot.
I say let her have the damn blanket as long as she wants. It only becomes a problem if her college roomie can’t wrap her properly.
I have yelled, walked away and wondered what the hell I was doing with my crying children more times than McCain has said Joe the Plumber. It’s natural, normal and you handled it it the right way.
great instincts! swaddle that baby if that’s what she needs. your OT shouldn’t be disappointed you gave Simone what she needed! swaddle her (Simone, not the OT, although that would be a great post topic) for as long as it takes. if they can’t sleep and recharge their bodies, they can’t learn.
I had to do the exact same thing with my 2yo the other day. She had whined, screamed and tantrumed for 2 hours straight and I was ready to snap. I gave her a sippy cup of milk, locked her in her bedroom (her bedroom doesn’t have a door, but does have a baby gate) and went and stood under a hot shower for 20 minutes.
When I got out she was asleep. Heh. And this is my little girl who NEVER naps.
re: swaddling, I swaddled until Amy was 12 months old. I just used bigger blankets the bigger she got. Eventually I was using a single bed sheet folded in half to wrap her in. It worked though.
Also, when Amy was 8 months old I got all panicky because SURELY she should be able to sleep without a swaddle?! Argggh.
I then had a friend tell me that she wrapped her daughter until she was 4. The little girl couldn’t fall asleep without being wrapped tightly and used to love it. She would kick it off during the night, but needed the tightness to fall asleep. Made me feel heaps better.
I had a pediatric nurse tell me that they swaddle out of control three year olds to calm them down. Looking at my own three year old I don’t really see how that would work, but I say if it works for Simone, use it!
Also, don’t feel bad about getting angry at a baby. They can be so unreasonable! There were many, many newborn days that I had to put the baby in his swing and go hide in the bathroom for ten minutes lest I do something really awful.
You are a wonderful mommy!!! We have all had those moments when you have to stop and regroup. I wouldn’t worry about the swaddling when she is done with it she will let you know. Good Luck
well, being a relatively new reader I may have missed these posted earlier, but I’d love to read about your experience of being pregnant. Just a thought….I’ll come back and read anything though. Your posts are too good to miss.
I wouldn’t complain about all of that cuteness. I also don’t have any questions, or any idea what I am going to do about a whole month of posts.
Glad to hear the swadle worked. I have a friend who had to hold something to fall asleep, she would play with her own hands if she did not hold on to something. M also used to have to hold my hand, we moved it to a toy, now she needs one Nuk in her mouth and one to hold onto. I fear the day we take it away.
Sleep is ‘age appropriate’, the means of persuading the little cherubs to sleep is ‘whatever works’! And the walking away thing … we’ve all been there and done that. Some of us frequently – that is how/why my first born survived his babyhood.
I’ve had to put my daughter down and walk away more than a few times. And yes, usually I feel guilty for almost losing my temper. But honestly, it happens to the best of us. Don’t feel bad.
And dude, I had my mom *custom-make* enormous blankets so I could keep swaddling my baby until she was almost a year old. You do what you need to do so that you both get some rest. End of story.
I always thought that “Who needs sleep?” song from the Barenaked Ladies was a funny little ditty until I had my daughter. Now, it’s become a bitter ironic pill to swallow. Let me lend my voice to the others as I say “It will get better.”
Oh, how I feel your pain. My experience thus far with a preemie (and the parents of non-preemies may guffaw at me, saying “it’s like that for ALL of us, sister whineytrousers”) is that growth spurts and developmental spurts often happen completely off the predicted schedule, sometimes right on the predicted schedule, and sometimes a whole bunch of them right in a row leading to the godgodpleasewhywon’tyousleepihaven’tsleptinamonth death march back and forth to the crib. So, I am sending great sympathy, and swaddle the crap out of that beautiful baby girl.
I think I will do the same, swaddle swaddle swaddle, damn I’m tired too.
I know I’m echoing everyone else, but I wanted to agree and say, if Simone sleeps better when swaddled, by all means keep doing it. We swaddled my son as long as he seemed to want it, which was about 10 months. I kept thinking I should stop doing it, but he slept ALL NIGHT LONG and it seemed silly to screw with that, no matter what age he was. Once he reached about 9 months old he would wiggle out of it in the middle of the night, maybe one arm, or one leg, and then wake up crying because he was uncomfortable. I thought that was probably a good sign that he was growing out of it, so we stopped doing it after a few weeks of that. He was a little fussy about going to sleep for a few days without it, but nothing like how you’re describing Simone, and then he was fine–because he was ready. Simone clearly still wants to be swaddled, and who can argue with a baby? Whatever results in your household getting the most sleep is the way to go in my book!
And I totally get you about the blogging every day business. I too am doing it this month (partly because of your fine example!)and have run out of things to say on Day 2. Which is probably why I’m commenting on your site at 9:41 p.m. instead of writing on mine!
Swaddle away. I swaddled my daughter for over a year. Nothing is worse than a baby who is sleep deprived. All is better after sleep.
Screw the “shoulds”. If Simone needs to be swaddled to sleep well, swaddle her. Lisa at #2 nailed it completely.
I once bundled my screaming little darling securely into her carseat, packed her a well-stocked overnight bag, set her in the living room near the door, and then took the phone with me into the bathroom. I locked the door and called my mother-in-law and said, “Your granddaughter is packed for an overnight at Grandma’s. Come and get her, or I may toss her out a window.” She did, I didn’t, and we agreed we’d all pretend it never happened and we’d never mention it again. :)
“What kind of mother gets angry with a baby?” Uh, this one here does, guilty hand up in the back. It’s a totally irrational emotion but I think it happens to all of us.
NaBloPoMo requests:
1. The upcoming RSV quarantine, and ways you will keep yourself entertained during it. You seem a resourceful lass so maybe it won’t be an issue, but I am always curious about the “what does one DO with these babies, anyway?” question.
2. The mysterious project you are working upon; see references to deadlines in your twitter. I suspect publisher-mandated blog silence on that one, though.
3. Traditional Swiss recipes! Lots of saturated fats please.
Hi there,
I can’t tell you how relieved I was when I read your post. My eight month old (yesterday) baby boy had slept through the night since eight weeks old. Notice I said ‘had slept’. About two weeks ago he began a sleeping strike, waking every two hours for no apparent reason (we didn’t swaddle from the get go, he hated having his hands restricted).
I’ve had some extremely rough nights in the last week and was frustrated with my lack of patience. To read that you are going through the same thing made me feel so much better!
Anyway, idea for a post…I have two. First off, I’d love to hear about how you got started writing & what your writing background is, second I’d love to hear your thoughts on step parenting, I’m a step mom to a pre-teen and a teen and could always benefit from a fresh take on things.
But keep the baby posts coming too! Love to read them, you make me feel as if I’m not alone! And the pics of Simone…she is so beautiful!
Good luck on Wednesday, you’re in my thoughts.
Melissa
For a post idea, I would like to request a story about your wonderfully witchy mother. The kind of lady who up and moves to Switzerland for work is the kind of lady I’d like to hear more about.
Alexa, you are NOT alone. Good grief, sleep deprivation alone changes your thought process. Combine that with being a new mother and on unfamiliar turf with a little person who doesn’t communicate like you and it’s enough to make anyone boil over. And we ALL have at one point or another. You’re human like the rest of us. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
And for heaven’s sake, SWADDLE! If it results in a happy baby and a happy momma, DO IT. Follow your gut; don’t listen to what “they” tell you is right or wrong. You know Simone best and you have to trust that.
Hang in there. You’re doing a fabulous job. And Simone is getting more and more edible. Holy moly.
This mommy has had a very many moments when shes had to walk away. Personally I think those are the true mommy moments. When you know you have had enough but love your baby, yourself enough to just take a little breather.
No special requests except that any methods you’ve discovered to soothe Infantus Screamus Randomus would be appreciated.
I’m frazzled, and quite franky out of ideas.
J
Mila screamed for 11.5 months straight. Seriously. Her undiagnosed heart defect left her with ” crushing chest pain ” – as described by the doctor himself. Before we found out, I can’t tell you how many times Hubster and I would pass her off every twenty minutes. It was either that, or do one of the things that puts Mommy in jail.
Honestly, I can tell you that I walked away hundreds of times. Only for a few minutes, only when I was desperate… but still hundreds of times in her first year. ( I kid you not when I say she cried the whole first year. Every twenty minutes all night long. Hours on end. I wanted to SHOOT something. )
One of my philosphies is “you do what you gotta do”. My 19 month old, who is very skinny and not the best eater, still takes a bottle. A huge no-no, of course. But he refuses to drink milk from a cup (he loves water and juice in them though. Go figure). So my kid is still on a bottle. I do plan to wean him off by age 2, of course. Anyway, I think as long as Simone is safe, it’s fine to swaddle her. She needs to sleep and YOU need to sleep. Plus it seems to make her happy. Just my 2 cents. :o)
By the way, I absolutely adore your blog! You are am amazing writer! Regarding a future topic… how are you feeling going into the Dr. on Wed.?
Also, Simone is so cute… keep posting the pics! I esp. love the “Baby of the Week” section! :o)
I am too tired to read everyone else’s thoughts, but I’d just like to say screw the OT who’s probably getting eight hours of sleep a night. You do whatcha gotta do.
If you can swaddle her – with whatever blanket size needed – do. It doesn’t hurt her, it doesn’t hurt you, it’s the definition of win/win.
But don’t take my advice, I was given the advice of not taking away my daughter’s paci at 18 months because no one goes to kindergarten with a paci. My girl is in pre-k and still takes one at night. She doesn’t take one at nap (@ school) and as a result doesn’t take a nap.
Keep the swaddle!! I too marvel at the wonder of the Miracle Blanket. My family tell me I’m mean and make snide comments about the ‘straitjacket’, but my twin boys sleep from 8pm until 7am without waking. They are 7kgs each now and grew too long for the feet pockets months ago but I still use the MB. I pop them in their sleeping bags and then lay them on top of the MB and swaddle their arms the usual way and wrap the rest of the fabric around the sleeping bag. Works a treat.
Firstly, I feel your NaBloPoMo pain. I have returned to my blog after a few months ofbaby-related absence, and thought to myself “Hey, get yourself back in the routine, do NaBloPoMo!!”, and then yesterday, on the very second day, I wrote what is possibly the worst piece of writing I have ever written. I’d had the idea for the post all day, but never got to writing it, and so it was like 5 minutes before bedtime, and I scribbled it off in a manner which was reminiscent of doing my homework in the 5 minutes before the bell went at school.
And the walking away to stop myself from shouting at my 6 month old? Have done it sooo often. It keeps me sane.
We swaddled my second forever. I don’t remember when we stopped, but he didn’t sleep decently (ie we didn’t have to swaddle him and swing him and rock him and say the magic password) until he was almost 10 months old. When he learned to stand. Which, now that I remember it, is when my first started sleeping well too. I have come to the opinion that they have so much going on with their bodies and their minds that they can’t sleep until they’ve accomplished whatever it is that they most need to accomplish. In my sons’ cases it was standing. After that they were like, yeah I got this living thing down. I can sleep now. Which by way of advice sucks, ‘cuz it means that the baby is, in fact, in charge. Cute overlord indeed.
Posting ideas…
(1) if you’re a reader, what are some good reads lately? And I don’t just mean books… I find that I go for weeks just reading the New York Times. Read any good articles?
(2) recipes are always good, even better are menu ideas. What’s your favorite menu that you don’t get tired of (you could eat it every week, it’s so good). What’s the latest new recipe you’ve tried? What’s your latest food failure? Have you ever dumped sugar into something, thinking it was salt?
(3) What’s your favorite pair of shoes in your closet? What’s your oldest pair that you can’t imagine ever giving up? Do you fall more in love with fancy shoes, or comfortable old ugly ones?
(4) How many people are on your Christmas/Hanukkah/Solstice list, and how do you do holiday gifting? Draw names? Something for everyone? Nothing, due to economy? When will you get down to business to get shopping out of the way, or are you done already?
(5) What was your most favorite summer vacation when you were growing up?
I could brainstorm all day… especially since I’m not the one writing!
Bring on the cute baby picture overload! Seriously though, I really love reading your posts and you’re a great mum.
Despite the serious issue of sleep deprivation, you actually made me laugh out loud with your post. My, oh my, how I can relate!
That said, if you are looking for blog post ideas I’d love to hear how your health kick is going. Maybe it will inspire me to shed the last pesky pounds,
xxx
I posted my “what kind of mother” post a while back. I actually DID yell at Robbie. Maybe not YELLED, but I definitey got loud and stern. “ROBBIE COX STOP CRYING!” The worst part was that he actually DID stop cryin and looked at me as though I had completely lost my mind. Then I felt like the biggest idiot ever. NEvermind the guilt.
I called the doctor for antidepressants that day.
Sleep deprivation is not a small thing. Do what you have to do.
I’ve never really understood why we need to stop swaddling anyway.
Sleeping well is just as imp’t for their development as anything else. Do what works!
I wouldn’t mind seeing new pictures of Simone every day if that keeps you blogging :)
I’m trying this NaBloPoMo thing for the first time (I started blogging in December last year). I fell asleep last night thinking, what am I going to write about TOMORROW? I’m looking to you for inspiration!
simone is a beauty and I would love to see her–
I think all mothers who are honest can relate to the anger you felt about her non-sleeping. It is soooo hard– physically you are just exhausted— and so it is hard mentally/emotionally to be sane–
I have done that a few times as well..
I feel your pain, NaBloPoMo-wise. Though I’m doing NaNoWriMo, where I insanely attempt to write a 50,000-word novel in a month. Scary! I’m posting the chapters on my writing blog, though, so does that count for NaBloPoMo?
Anyway, for topic ideas, how about imagining scenes between yourself and Simone through the ages? Like dropping her off at school for the first time… or her first date (replete with sneakily wearing Jayle Baite clothing)… dropping her off at college… and so on. You are so hilarious about these anxiety-inducing milestones – would love to read your thoughts on just about anything, though.
Hah, good for you! Swaddle that baby as tightly as you want (well, don’t cut off circulation or anything) if that’s what she needs. Screw that age appropriateness, she’ll let you know when she’s ready. If that therapist is so sure Simone doesn’t need swaddling, maybe SHE should come put Simone to bed every night. Humph!
As for the first paragraph: OH YES. Did you know there’s a thing called Blog 365 which is basically NaBloPoMo but ALL YEAR? I am tired just thinking about it.
I also had a “Wake Screaming Every Twenty Minutes” baby and walked away more times than I care to count. The broken nights went on for five long years. She (and I) survived and if swaddling had brought me thirty seconds reprieve from the Scream of Mighty Ticked Off One I would have used a horse blanket even if I had to steal it from the horse.
I am ready to endure the baby photo extravaganza this month. Bring it on.
I’m very proud that you swaddled her. Both of you needed it. Just do what works, Alexa. You are a very good Mother, and your heart will tell you what is right for precious Simone. Like walking away…it’s a good thing sometimes, even the most amazing mothers in the world do it, even if they never admit it.
Keep up the amazing work, and happy belated birthday.
Alexa-
have to tried/heard of swaddle designs? http://www.swaddledesigns.com/
We used their blankets for our daughter and really loved them. They are very big and you may be able to get a tight fold over little Simone. We swaddled her arms only until she was nine months old, and she was not a preemie. Hope it helps.
Also, ensuring that you and she get the sleep you need is not bad parenting. Neither is popping her in her crib for a few minutes while you regain your sanity. We’ve all done it.
I say, Swaddle till you can’t swaddle no more. Seriously. I would still swaddle my 3 1/2 year old daughter if I could. She has such a hard time decompressing at the end of the day. Ignore the idea of it not being “age-appropriate” … everyone getting some real sleep, now that’s APPROPRIATE.
You’re a great mom and Simone’s lucky to have you. Thank you, as always, for sharing with such honesty.
PS. I LOVE Simone’s onesie.
Well ya can’t have a witch around full time. Although there should be some looking for work now that Halloween is past.
Swaddling, what else is a person to do? They don’t make straight jackets that small.
Well, probably all moms get angry…its how you handle your anger that matters. I bet a certain witch has some stories to relate about a certain halloween baby…
I’m trying to NaBloPoMo and am finding my ideas to be like the desert. I find the desert to be dull.
I would like to hear what you do to keep Simone entertained all day. I mean really, I have trouble keeping mine entertained for the two weekend days. I find myself just endless rotating singing, reading, johnny jump up, excersaucer, swing, floor with toys.
Also maybe an I Like It post.
Oh and it really made me feel better to hear your struggling because just yesterday I looked at mine and hissed what is wrong with you because he was fussy and squirming and nothing seemed to help. Then he threw up all over me…problem found. I really felt guilty then.
Ah, the swaddle. We tried quitting it cold turkey with my daughter, and she was not amused. She screamed and I shushed and she screamed and I rocked and she screamed and I tried to breastfeed her and she screamed. I gave in and put her back in the swaddle and it was almost like she fainted she went to sleep so quickly. Clearly she wasn’t ready to give it up.
A couple of weeks later we tried again. First the feet out of the Miracle Blanket. Then one arm out of it for about a week, then both arms out with it wrapped around her waist for a week. It worked much better that way. But it didn’t work until she was ready for it.
My daughter slept with her arms swaddled in the Miracle Blanket until she was nearly a year old. She’s now two and can sleep without a swaddle and doesn’t seem to have any bizarre side effects from her baby straight jacket. :)
my husband and i tried the same thing you did a few months ago. we figured she was ready to sleep without being swaddled after she had grown out of her newborn swaddle blanket. a day we never thought we would see since she was born 1 lb 15 oz. after several sleepless/swaddleless nights i quickly got online and did research for the biggest and baddest swaddle blanket i could find. it was the miracle blanket. she is now 8 months old, 13.5 lbs and still being shoved into her miracle blanket every night (yep, it’s way too small but it still works). i knew we were doing the right thing when, on the first night we swaddled her again, she looked at me through the slates of her crib, smiled and closed her eyes (and slept 10 hours straight without a peep).
i think our next step might be the ace bandage around her arms. ;)
wrap on!
If sleep is deteriorating, then she still needs to be swaddled for both of your sake. With a 4 week old at home whose crazy renegade arms wake her up constantly, I totally get what a major pain it becomes to calm an overly tired baby. As you say, she is a preemie so the rules are different and she’ll grow out of this eventually.
And by the way, I love my Miracle blanket. Best invention ever.
A good book for your parenting library: “The No-Cry Discipline Solution” by Elizabeth Pantley. I’m recommending it to you now because she addresses anger and how to deal with it. I checked it out from the library (I do this with all parenting books to see if they are worth purchasing) and am keeping an eye out for it in one of the used bookstores I frequent. Her methods have helped me when I start to get angry at my 15-month-old.
What kind of mom screams at her baby? Um, me? My daughter was a HORRIBLE sleeper. If swaddling had worked, we’d have done it. Eventually she just outgrew it, although she’s 2 1/2 now and no longer takes naps, which everyone tells me is INSANITY. Whatever, she sleeps through the night. I’m happy.
I just wanted to thank Simone for sporting her “I love my gay uncle” shirt, and you for being vocal against Prop 8. It means a lot for this married, gay, mama of a preemie.
We have all been there, where we had to walk away…even if its for just 20 seconds… it makes you feel like a horrible parent, but I highly doubt there is a parent who doesnt get to that point.
As for writing ideas……
favorite places to shop
least favorite “chores”
your idea of a great girls day or night out
“guilty” splurges (or not so guilty)
at 6 months, we attempted to unswaddle my son. no go. he slept in 15 minute spurts for 2 nights straight and i almost lost it completely. i then put him back in the miracle blanket with a swaddle me over it. in a few weeks, we tried again and it was a much better transition.
I remember, confessing tearfully to the pediatrician that I put my baby in the swing and left him there all night long, swinging and sleeping, so I could get some sleep. He told me, “whatever works!”. So, swaddling won’t kill her and neither will sleeping in a swing (it didn’t, he’s 13 now and sleeps through the night :-)). Do what ya gotta do!
I work with 2-3 year olds. Some of these kids were working on regulating/organizing sensory input. On several different occasions with different kids, the OT on our team reccomended playing the “burrito game” which involved wrapping these kids up in a big blanket- aka swaddling them-for a bit. The kids loved it and it really helped to ground them.
I think that what is “developmentally appropriate” should be based on what an individual child’s needs are, not on what is the “norm”. It sounds like Simone needs the swaddle right now, so go for it!
Oh, as for ideas for NaBloPoMo, I’ll take cute baby pictures and/or more verses to the Little ‘Lectric Eel song any time you need a quick post.
Flicka’s SIL here. I would like to read about how Scott is doing/handling everything. It’s been so amazing reading your take on everything that has happened to your sweet family the past year, but I’m curious about how Scott dealt with it all and what he and thought through most of that time. Maybe he could post a day or two to help you out?
I am up for a 4 week long baby photo death march! she is soooo cute ;)
yay for sleeping baby!
I know there are higher risks in preemies for SIDS and so you might not want to try this, but when my baby outgrew her swaddle blanket we started letting her nap on her tummy and she started sleeping so much better. I freaked out about the stomach thing for a bit, too, but let her nap within my sight that way for a week or two until i decided she was doing really well like that… might be something to think about.
Secret Trick for the ole’ Baby Straight Jacket:
A little piece of duct tape will hold the swaddle in place. A piece! Not the roll.
Our baby now sleeps soundly after we recently bought a swinging crib set. My hubby surprised me with the new crib as well as a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings from http://www.idonowidont.com for our 10th anniversary. So we were able to have a romantic quiet evening in as the baby slept soundly for once!
i had a screamy, screamy, screamy refluxy baby for the first four months. i would say to people ‘oh he screams all day’ and they would be all HA HA yeah right and then they would come over and he would scream and they would be like OMG HE SCREAMS ALL THE TIME and i would be all OMG YA THINK?! and its really horrible and i feel terrible even thinking it but when i was going through it, i realised WHY people shake their babies. the extreme frustration that comes from listening to a baby scream and its drilling into your skull and theres nothing you can do to stop it. there were days when i wanted to throw myself into traffic because of the screaming. i mean, obviously i never did either of those things but it was something that i never ‘got’ until i actually went through it. (and now i have the worlds happiest baby so, you know, light at the end of the tunnel and all that).
anyway my point was going to be, my kid is seven months and only just stopped being swaddled, much to my mothers disgust. she would come over and be all ‘he should have his arms free by now!’ at three and a half months and i would be like ‘alright but when he does that he DOES NOT SLEEP AT ALL’ and she would tut tut at me and when she left i would wrap him up again. as he got bigger so did the wrap thing. i knew he was ready when he busted out and slept through it and had he not done that i would have swaddled him til he left home because sleep is way more important to me than what anyone else thinks ;)
As A nervous pregnant infertile chick, I never read any baby books lest I jinx myself. Glad now, as I had no idea there was an age at which it wasn’t appropriate to swaddle. Hunh. Mine’s not, now (at 1.5 years), but I used it while it worked.
And since we’re confessing stuff, I still give mine a bottle in the morning. He will use a sippy cup, I’m sure what I’m doing isn’t “appropriate,” but it buys me 10 peaceful minutes in the morning and hey, a less-stressed-out-mama is a better mama. Or so I tell myself (but I do convince, well, at least myself by so doing).
F*** the OT. Gently, nicely, but all the same.
They can be quite rigid, and they don’t live with your child. After several months of as much “Alphabet-T” as I can stand, I came to the conclusion that there are some things my kid was just going to come to later in life than the norm. Mine still has the binky, which I’m threatening to take away, especially during 5am “binky!” calls. But I’m too tired with his new sister to make an issue of it now.
On the swaddling: We, too, swaddled our baby longer than just a few weeks – actually, until she was nearly a year old. Whatever works! She’s a great sleeper now. A really big piece of cloth you can buy at a cloth store works really well – or cut up an old bedsheet.
Topic request –
Is it too soon to talk about the possibility of another child? Or deciding that another child is definitely NOT in the equation? It’s probably too soon though.
Or whether you like working from home? because I hated it. It SEEMS like the ideal situation, but the isolation was overwhelming. And I am not an extrovert by any means.
Nov. 1, 12:00 p.m.: Favorite bloggers announce they’re participating in NaBlahMoFo
Nov. 1, 12:10: Reader increases by a magnitude of 100
Nov. 1, 12:12: I break down in tears and start massively marking things as “All read”
When is comment catchup month, I want to know?!
My child never slept. I’m of no help whatsoever. I read all the books, and promptly threw them against the wall.
Yep, another Mummy that gets horribly cross with her exceedingly trying offspring here! Babies are infuriating beyond belief. Toddlers, I have recently decided, are even worse. When he was tiny, it was a case of plonking his roaring little form back in the moses basket and collapsing in a sobbing heap. Now, it’s more about keeping my cool on the frequent occasions when the little blighter feels that nappies, clothing, baths and carseats are all a diabolical infringement of his civil liberties, and resists with every trick and wriggle he can muster. He has barely learnt to walk and already I am chasing his bare little twinkling bottom around the room with a nappy clenched in my teeth to muffle my torrent of furious invective. When I eventually pin him down and apply the hated Pampers, as soon as I let him go and reach for his trousers he immediately scrabbles away from me and pulls the wretched thing off. Argh! Ummm… I digress.
Blogging material. I have delved about in your archives, but it was a fair while ago, so forgive me if I’m missing something obvious. Have you always lived around St Paul? Your mother and brother have obviously stayed abroad – have you travelled? Or where would you dream of travelling to if money were absolutely no object (and Simone rather older!) and why? And because I’m feeling very British today in the face of all your election hoo-ha – I shall put in a request on behalf of your readers on this particular side of the pond: tell us about some UK influences in your American life. What author’s works would you choose to be marooned on the fabled desert island with? I’ll let you have a UK CD, person-from-history and a monarch for company as well if you like?!
have you offered Simone something called Comfort Silkie? It’s not a full-body blanket, but a lovely little “lovey” that’s silky on one side, flannely on the other. With both my kids I did the rather gross thing of carrying their silkies on my person, so it got a nice mommy smell – helped, I think, with that “why am I NOT IN MOMMY’S ARMS” two-hour crying thing. The four-year old still sleeps with his, despite the fact that it’s in tatters… just a thought
Better to walk away- I did actually scream at my daughter once and it’s terrible.
It is good that you have so many “experts” to help you, but don’t let them get totally in the way of your instincts- swaddle the baby! YOU are the mom and YOU are right!
I am a swaddler. My first daughter I swaddled until she was 8 months old. My 5 month old is swaddled for every nap and every overnight. My current child has been sleeping 8 or 9 hours a night since she was 2 months old. She started out at a healthy 5 or 6 hours at 2 weeks and it’s only gotten better. I’ll take swaddle blankets (mine are custom made by a friend) everywhere and as soon as she looks tired I take her, swaddle her and put her back in her stroller and she promptly falls asleep. I am in love with my swaddle blankets.
I have to ask, why would your OT be angry??
I just wanted to hug this post.
The hubs and I tagged teamed the boy baby and both had to leave the room rediculous-many times. And I’d already done this once. Sometimes I wish I could do the same w/ my now-12 year old daughter…
I second this vote:
“1. The upcoming RSV quarantine, and ways you will keep yourself entertained during it.”
Also, because you are my main “parenting a preemie” resource, please give us a brain dump (or several) about what specialists you’ve needed to see, which were unnecessary, how you think Simone has done (what’s been most delayed? most not?), basically anything to enlighten me on the preemie mothering. My guy was 34 weeks, so some of it likely won’t apply, but I can’t tell you how many times I racked my brain for Alexa quotes when he was in the NICU. I keep meaning to send you a thank-you email, but, well, I mentioned that new baby, right?
And if your OT says anything disparaging about the swaddling, find yourself a new OT (preferably one with kids).
Take care.
Should that have been “wracked my brain”? Like nerve-wracking? Both nervous system components, hm. Never made that connection before.