All Hail the Conquering Hero.
NOVEMBER 24th, BITCHES!
I’m sorry, that was unseemly. What I meant to say was that I spent the day calling various area hospitals and telling bold half-truths, and as long as I can get the ENT to fax an order to University Hospital Across the River sometime tomorrow, Simone has an appointment for a sedated Auditory Brainstem Response test just a little over two weeks from now.
I didn’t have to sell my soul or anything, in case you’re wondering. I mostly substituted “HER DOCTORS” for “I,” i.e. “I AM HER DOCTORS ARE concerned about the appointment falling at the height of RSV season and so I AM WE ARE calling around to see whether I WE can find an earlier opening at a different facility.”
The woman from the audiology department at University Hospital Across the River, who finagled me the appointment, was an angel, and I thanked her so many times that I think she started to wonder whether I had been beaten by an audiology scheduler in the past. If I had been there in person I would have bowed to her deeply as I backed out of the room. Really, she was so kind, and efficient, and sensible. I may still build a shrine in her honor, with a twig figurine and a backdrop of ears cut from the pages of fashion magazines.
The batteries in the swing died last night and Simone took no naps today as a result. She also awoke rather earlier than usual. I looked at the clock after I had been up for what seemed like days, thinking it must be nearly afternoon, and it was 9:30 in the morning. I have yet to get any work done, and now it is looking unlikely that I will. Not sleeping all day caused Simone to shift into some sort of baby hyper-drive earlier this evening, and she has been wild ever since, wriggling and squealing and flapping her arms in happiness. And then suddenly her mood will sour, and she’ll scream and pule and whine—and then HAPPY! SQUEAL! FLAP FLAP FLAP!
It is like dealing with a tiny rapid-cycling manic-depressive. We have batteries, now, but Simone is too far gone to be quieted by a mere swinging appliance. Fortunately, having a new audiology appointment within this very calendar month makes things like “sleep” and “deadlines” seem unimportant.
51 Comments
well done!
Awesome! Good for you, being assertive and getting her in sooner.
Good job getting her an appt. alot sooner! And my 2 1/2 yr. gets crazy hyper when he is reeeaaaalllllyyyy tired. :0
Oh fantastic!
Hell yeah, mama!
And yes, when the overtired state is reached at our house, there is much wing-flapping and chirping; until the moment of rapid descent… I’ve pondered manic-depressive-baby-disorder myself. Fickle beings, really.
BRAVO!!!
BRAVO!!! Bitches unite!
Excellent!
Hooray! Nicely done. I love the shrine idea.
Woo hoo!!! Atta girl! Hail the conquering hero, indeed.
Yeah, mine does the flap of happiness/swoon of despair act when no sleep is had as well. I think we’re looking at a theater major. Or Comp Lit. Good job on being an efficient mom!
Phew, dear Alexa! So glad you were able to move up the appointment.
Two words: Battery stash. I learned my new mantra the hard way when Banana’s Mozart Cube ran out of batteries one weekend. Oh the protest! Oh the despair!
Hooray!! So glad you got an earlier appointment!
Well done Alexa!
A little tip that does the trick for my baby: Sit on the floor with your legs streched out in front of you. Put a pillow on your feet and baby on top (that’s right, baby on TOP!) of the pillow and gently rock your legs from side to side. No batteries required!
Best wishes to you and Simone.
Sara
I have myself one of those wild babies and I will share with you my two weird ways I have managed to calm him down enough to nap when he was all wooo hooooooooo!
A wild baby is running on adrenaline. Therefore the key to making them believe they are veeeeeery veeeeeery sleepy is by getting them to focus and be still for a minute.
Way1) I take my baby’s hand and give him lots of tiny kisses on his palm and wrist and fingers. This often makes his go still so he can enjoy it and after he has gone still enough – he decides he fancies a nap after all.
Way2) was discovered by us after we were getting water out of his ears after bathtime. Basically you take your finger insert into baby’s ear and gently move back and forth. Water runs out and baby falls asleep.
Otherwise, have you tried baby massage? Some babies calm down enough to enjoy it and then they drift off.
So glad for you!
Well done (Dr) Alexa. Two weeks with our fingers crossed will be no problem at all ;-)
Have you considered re-chargeable batteries for the swing? Then you will always have batteries . . . well, as long as you remember to put the second set in the charger!
I too have done the calling around thing, with respect to my daughter’s hips. It sounds like your method was much less embarrassing than my bursting into tears on the phone.
Awww Yeah! Nicely done, Alexa!
I’m impressed! And you’re dead on about the tiny rapid-cycling manic depressive. That kept up for about five years with my son.
Excellent, news! I’m so glad that the DOCTOR’S persistence was rewarded.
You are a rock star. Your powers of persuasion are legend, very impressive.
I wish I had a web cam so you could have seen my reaction to your phrase “tiny rapid-cycling manic depressive.” Never have truer words been spoken to describe an overtired baby.
For what it’s worth, that description works for a toddler too but the cycles just last a little longer…
I know this daily posting this is a serious drag for you, but it has filled me with ubridled glee. No, no, *I* am not posting every day. Don’t be silly. I’m talking about the fact that YOU are posting every day. It is nothing short of supremely embarrassing how much pleasure it brings me to read a post from you every day. I think I’ve invented a new word — AlexaFever. As the kids used to say: you are da bomb. :-)
Fan club meeting adjourned. Time to go wipe the excitement-induced spittle off my chin…
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Now, costco for batteries, and benadryl and/or tylenol for some sleep. (Don’t look at me that way, this is a crisis, so what the hell, just give her something this one time!)
Alternatively, can your mother the witch come over?
Look at you, superstar! I’m so glad her appointment is relatively soon, and that no audiologist schedulers were harmed in the making of the appointment. :)
Congrats! I’m so glad you don’t have to wait so long! Personally, I’m all for half-truths when dealing with the idiotic staff of hospitals and doctor’s offices. But also glad you found someone who was willing to help. Bravo!!!!
I think you need to make a shrine and take a picture. I’m still chuckling over that one.
I’m sooo happy Simone has an earlier appointment! I hope she naps for you today. LOL
After hearing many tales of battery woe, we bought two old-school crank swings. $5 used, no longer available new. The boys love ‘em, and we can pretend to be all environmental or something.
And well-done on the appointment. Fingers crossed for good news there.
I remember reading somewhere that living with a baby in that manic state is like having a very tiny schizophrenic foreign exchange student living in your home, which seems to me to be an apt description. And entertaining at times!
Yesssssss, assertive mama gets the appointment!!!!!! Way to go!!
YAY! SO HAPPY!!!
Well done!!
You rock, sista! There isn’t anything more satisfying than beating the healthcare system!
You GO mamma!!!!! Good for you!
Excellent job! Nothing like a little RSV threat to bring out Mama Tiger. Glad you fought the good fight and got what everyone needed.
Oh snap! Take that bureaucracy!
ohh good! i am so glad you were able to get an earlier appointment!
Congratulations and kudos. Your insight in substituting “Her doctors” for “I” is remarkable, and while I hope it’s information you, I, and, well, everyone has only rare, if any, occasion to use, it’s a good tip to keep in the tool kit.
Yea glad you have an appointment and hope you get good results!!! I just started reading this after dooce linked to your site. Your story is heartbreaking and amazingly wonderful at the same time. I have a 25 weeker who is now about to turn 5 (hard to believe). We had a similar experience with getting an Upper GI done at the hospital…there all day, baby wasn’t allowed to eat, then after waiting forever they strap her down to a board inside a coffin like machine and expect her to drink barium from a bottle while they view it…needless to say that did not work. It was in the summer though so didn’t have to worry about RSV.
You know, as an actual rapid cycling manic depressive, I would just like to say that I don’t flap my arms nearly that much.
With our healthcare system as screwed up as it is, you have no choice but to be an aggressive advocate for your child.
When we found out we were dealing with a rare genetic issue with our last pregnancy, the specialist we were initially sent to answered our questions with “I’ll have to get back to you on that” and “That’s a good question but I’m not sure.” I searched high and low for a specialist that knew what the hell they were doing and the hard work paid off. So I applaud you because I’ve been there and I know how thankless it can feel.
Alright Alexa, way to kick ass!
Since reading puts me to sleep, I wonder if reading to Simone will put her to sleep. I’m pretty sure she can hear, at least something, especially if it is fluid. Of course, this being November 7th, the day after, I hope you got her to go to sleep so you could go there yourself.
To Aurelia above…..hey, maybe Benadryl will help with the fluid behind Simone’s ears! I really wonder what would happen, and if it was possible, to just give her a decongestant or something like Benadryl. My daughter had 3 sets of tubes put in, and she was on many decongestants, including Benadryl and Dimetapp, both worked very well. Benadryl made her sleepy also. Good one!
You know what, I’m sorta ashamed to admit it but I pulled a similar sorta thing on the phone last summer when I was trying to get my medical records (from specialist in Denver) sent to my doctor locally so that he could prescribe a portable oxygen concentrator for me to take on vacation to high altitude. Neither side (Denver nor local) was giving me any help at all, they were constantly just putting me on hold and shuffling me around. So at one point, while on the phone with yet another person, I *faked my own sobbing* on the phone. Well guess what. It totally worked. The woman on the phone started comforting me and telling me she’d take care of everything and she did.
When you’re being your own (or your child’s own) advocate, you gotta pull out whatever stops you have to and get the system to work.
I’m glad she has an appt this month! :) Sorry about the batteries dying! Hehe :)
I’m a lurker here mostly, but I’m crossing my fingers that you get some better nres.
… and by “nres” I meant “news.”
You are one awesome mama! :)
Oh thank God. I was praying for you! I share my house with a miniature manic depressive on short cycles as well. I found the meds work best on me if liberally applies with alcohol.
I am so impressed with your persuasive abilities! You are obviously an experienced practicioner of “The Way of the Beagle.” This reminds me of the time you helped get Simone off of the oxygen, when someone had misread/mis-written the notes on her performance. Your focus is powerful! From one beagle to another, Good Going!
rechargable batteries. We find it best to have 3 sets for each appliance or toy… that way we’re never out.
Haysoos – I thought you were posting about my wedding anniversary. Note to self! Alexa doesn’t write continuously about me!