Soldiering On.

by Alexa on November 23, 2008

More lazy bullets! If it helps, you can pretend that there is some sort of overarching narrative stringing these things together, with segues and everything. I won’t mind.

• I hadn’t thought about the fact that technically, my white flag of surrender counts as a post for the purposes of NaBloPoMo. So I guess I’m still in this thing. I have been feeling guilty about posting so much blatant nothing, here, but you know what? Screw quality! Maybe if I can learn to ease up on my perfectionism in general it will stop taking me hours upon hours to excrete write ONE PAGE of my poor book.

• I had a brilliant idea for an invention the other day—and unlike my previous inventions (hotels, journalism), I am fairly certain this one hasn’t been thought of yet: Stick-on epaulets! As the mother of a refluxy baby, I usually have a patch of spit-up on the shoulder of my t-shirt. This means that whenever I want to run an errand or otherwise look presentable, I have to change. Or DO I? With stick-on epaulets, I can cover that milk stain AND transform an ordinary t-shirt into something Fancy! Potential backers, feel free to offer me large sums of money now, before I take this thing public and you kick yourself for not getting in on the ground floor.

• While I dislike his politics, Saxby Chambliss has a truly delightful name. I’m trying to get it to catch on as an exclamation, a replacement for “bless my soul!/I’ll be damned!” and similar folksy phrases. “Well, Saxby Chambliss!” I said to Scott just moments ago, “I do believe we’re out of paper towels!”
Go on, say it: SAXBY CHAMBLISS. Nice, isn’t it?
Better yet, I was thinking “Saxby Chambliss” might have a place as a secular holiday greeting. It would look lovely on a card:
Saxby Chambliss to you!
And imagine Tiny Tim waving his little crutch and crying out “Saxby Chambliss, ev’ry one!” Doesn’t that fill you with the spirit of the season?

• I suspect that if Simone wins Baby of the Week this time it will be purely out of pity. She looks pathetic, though the Maalox/Aquaphor mixture seems to be helping her skin a bit. I know rice cereal is supposed to be the least allergenic thing there is, but I am wondering whether her eczema has gotten worse since we started putting rice in her bottles, so perhaps we’ll stop that for a while?

• I am working on judging THE ELVER AWARDS, and am very impressed with your creativity. It will be difficult to choose a winner, and I think I am going to have that song in my head for the rest of my life, barring head injury. I just came up with a new verse myself:

Oh I wish I were a little barnacle
Yes I wish I were a little barnacle
I’d go grippy, grippy, grippy
Underneath a pirate ship-py
Oh I wish I were a little barnacle

My baffling sea-creature obsession continues.

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