Piggy.
It’s getting a little Lord of the Flies around here. Scott left for his grandfather’s funeral (not unexpected, long battle w/Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s), and I will pause here for a moment in recognition of the sombre occasion before I continue my extremely self-centered narrative.
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Ok, so like I was saying, it’s getting a little Lord of the Flies around here. Simone and I are alone, have been since early yesterday morning, will be until sometime on Sunday, and in case you are wondering what that looks like, it looks something like this:
Don’t judge me.
Yesterday went better than expected–I wore real clothes, and makeup, and we left the house for a leisurely errand (now that RSV season is grinding to a close, we are experimenting with public outings during low-traffic times). Everyone had three meals and the baby had a bath. I swept the kitchen floor, TWICE.
Today, though, there will be no sweeping, and there have been no baths for anyone. I am wearing different clothes than I was yesterday, but only because Simone threw up on me around noon. And the “clothes” are housepants and a tank top. In fact, if you were at Walgreens at about 4:00 this afternoon, you might have seen a disheveled woman holding a pajama-and-shoe-clad baby, racing toward the diaper aisle. Hi! Nice to meet you! We ran out of diapers, you see, because I forgot to get them at Target yesterday, instead buying:
1 venti skinny hazelnut latte
1 set animal-themed architectural blocks (ostensibly “for baby,” but really so that mama has something to do while sitting with baby on floor)
1 small plush Grover doll (one of many objects offered in desperate bid to induce quiet, and the only one successful)
1 poorly-made push-along walker cart thing (purchased with vague idea of using same to teach Simone to walk, as suggested by OT)
1 fashion magazine I will not have time to read, which is fine, because I have no means to purchase any of the items featured within
1 package chicken breast
1 package beef tenderloin
1 package lean ground beef
1 (large) package coffee
I assume the checker rapidly took stock of the situation and concluded that the meat was for strength and fortitude in the face of a weekend alone with my child, but in fact I was planning to do South Beach again in order shed twelve gratuitous pounds before my trip to Switzerland. Alas I have reacted to the stress of Scott’s absence by eating, since yesterday, a pizza, an order of artichoke dip, two Reese’s peanut butter eggs, sesame chicken, and a large quantity of cream cheese wontons, so…no.
31 Comments
This post makes me laugh on so many levels. If I knew you in real life, I think we’d get along swimmingly.
Melissa and Doug makes a fun push-toy-walker doohicky: http://www.countrytoys.com/chclalputoyb.html
Just keep away from pointy sticks and boys named Ralph, and y’all will be just fine….
I forget diapers all the time at Target (esp. the night ones they only carry at Super Target), nice to know I am not alone.
I have two walker push cart things, barely used (too tall for age child), plastic, could easily be sanitized, and I live across the river from you. Email me, I’ll met you at a Chinese restaurant for the hand off.
Oh I do love you so. I think that anybody who saw you in Walgreen’s probably smiled to themselves. Or if they didn’t, they should have.
Simone looks like she’s *daring* you to say something about the pile of toilet paper.
At least it’s *unused* toilet paper that she is eating. It could be worse.
Bonus! Her jammies are adorable, and her look is one of quiet judgment.
This is belated, but thank you for posting about Maddie. I read through portions of her mother’s blog after reading your post and felt shell-shocked, though this was my first encounter with that family. It’s still turning over in my head, and I can still see those big beautiful eyes in the photo you posted. I’m not sure what it means that I will always remember this child, having only heard of her after her passing. But I will remember that courageous, strong little girl.
is a cream cheese wonton like deep fried cream cheese? i am simultaneously… grossed out and hungry.
I have a similar shot of my son, only he has a wicked mischevious little smile on his face with the TP all bunched up at his feet, interestingly enough also taken while Husband was the dreaded Out of Town.
When are you going to be in Switzerland? Will you bring Simone? I gather from reading that your mother lives here but I don’t know where (I’m thinking French speaking part), but if you need some fun for baby type suggestions in the German speaking part, mostly around Bern, I’d be happy to shoot off some suggestions.
Bully!
What a hoot.
Wow. I wish our Target had meat. Fritos and 12 packs og Mountain Dew, yes. Ground beef? No.
An yes – what on earth are cream cheese wontons?
Aren’t the Resse’s PB eggs acceptable on South Beach? They are protein – for Pete’s sake, they’re EGGS! :)
Simone is one adorable girl – such a shana punim!
I believe we have an exact replica of that toilet paper photo, only with our baby in it instead of yours.
Sugar = fortitude in dire times, I say.
That picture is so cute. Babies in jammies make me want to scoop them up and nom them.
Sarge left for an overnight camping trip a few weekends ago and I was terror-struck at the idea of being Alone Overnight With The Baby. Especially since if it went badly I knew what I’d be in for when he goes away for an entire week in the middle of June. Beth told me I’d be fine and Statia told me that the first time is always the worst. They were both right…it all went well and I survived. Not looking forward to June but…eh.
You’re doing great. You’re wearing underwear, right? Everyone’s fed? You’re a million miles ahead! And hey, Simone was wearing shoes in addition to her pajamas. That’s pretty good, IMHO.
xoxox
Flicka
so… any TP that hasn’t touched the floor yet is still fair game. from what i can see there, that’s like, 2 more pees. all is not lost. and if she was quiet for a second, then wiping be damned.
So you’ve totally made me a gaucho spotter….Friday I saw the worst gaucho gaffe EVER: Denim gauchos worn with cowboy boots and a cowboy-esque straw hat. It was…interesting.
I love it…….Simone looks so adorable sitting there pulling the toilet paper off the roll. That is so much fun! My granddaughter did this very thing through about age 2 1/2, so beware. Such fun!
No judging here. My husband was gone on business for 4 nights last week–my first time on my own with our twins. Not only did I inadvernently allow the boys to eat cat food, not only did I not sleep AT ALL lest the bad guys attack, but I also purchased and consumed THREE different kinds of noodles and two different rice dishes from my new favorite Thai restaurant. And wine. Carbs make everything better. But we all lived to tell the tale. Simone looks great. Good luck!
This week I was battling a terrible cold, and my loved ones (but mostly me) convinced me to take a day off of work to recover and I stumbled across your blog. I read many of your entries, pretty much start to finish, and I have to say… you are awesome, and i love your dirty house, and your cats, and most of all your amazing, beautiful baby. Thank you for sharing all of that with us – it is a wonderful gift and i can’t wait to keep reading about all of your adventures in the future :)
I’m sorry I’m only now posting after following your blog for more than a year. (I understand and appreciate comments more now after entering the blog world myself.) Simone is too cute for words…she even wears toilet paper well!
I have a similar picture of my baby. She’s standing and wearing the toilet paper as a scarf. It too took place while my husband was out of town working…for three months.
Hysterical, as usual. It is as if Simone is saying, “what did you expect me to do with it?” She is so adorable.
my cat did the same thing to my toliet paper roll, so much fun yes? haha she is soo cute though sitting there, like what? what did I do?
Aaaaaah! What a cutie!!! One of our cats does the same thing to the toilet paper, but only he drags it all over the house while running wildly and calling out. LOL Your trip to the store sounds like mine on some days: totally forgot the item for which the entire trip was made. I’m sorry to hear of Scott’s grandfather’s/Simone’s great-grandfather’s passing.
Oh, and have you ever noticed that the lead singer of Cinderella – Tom Kiefer – sounds a lot like Grover? Much as I love the band, just sayin………….. LOL
the latte was definitely a good idea!
I love the look she’s giving you….she’s all What? you wanted that on the roll? Too bad. I remember the first time my husband left me alone with the baby for more than a few hours…(that’s sounds bad…) He went away for a weekend when she was about 4 or 5 months old and I thought I was going to lose my mind. I managed to keep some sanity and it all worked out, but it was definitely scary for a while…there were lots of pajama pants and ramen noodles involved….
At least toilet paper is cheap!
Huh. I didn’t know you could eat two Reese’s peanut butter eggs. I’m pretty sure there’s a 5-egg minimum, but I’m over the border in Wisconsin, so it could be a states’ rights thing. Interesting.