I am having technical difficulties with my Luzern photos, so I thought I would give you an update on the baby-with-glasses situation.
Many of you wondered how they calculated Simone’s prescription in the first place, and I don’t blame you. Babies can’t read, and they’re wiggly, and they are terrible at following instructions. This seems to suggest that eye charts would be a poor choice. And in fact, there were no eye charts involved. Instead, they put dilating drops in Simone’s eyes (which she just LOVED, as you can imagine) and then we spent 20 minutes alone in a small windowless exam room full of intriguing equipment that Simone was not allowed to touch (ALMOST AS MUCH FUN AS THE EYEDROPS!), waiting for the doctor.
For the exam itself, the ophthalmologist shone a light in Simone’s eyes, a light with a little plastic monster perched on the top, and then held a sequence of lenses in front of each eye to shine the light through them. Apparently, the dilation keeps her eyes from compensating and allows the doctor to see the pupils…focus? Or something? I don’t know. All I know is that the pediatric eye gypsy waved her lenses before Simone and pronounced her +6.00 in each eye. The prescription itself is only +4.50, because all babies are somewhat farsighted.
So we ordered the glasses, and picked them up, and strapped them on, and suddenly it was very, very obvious that Simone had not been able to see, before. This is one of those things that makes me feel like I should win some sort of Bad Mother trophy. A heavy one, studded with jewels. Jewels shaped like tears. I would never have suspected that Simone had any trouble seeing—in fact, the ophthalmologist asked me about it before she began the testing, and I cheerily said “Nope! No problems at all!”
But once the glasses were on…well. How had we been so blind?
Simone never showed any interest in television. I was pleased, because it meant I didn’t have to worry about having it on around her. Of course it also meant I was unable to induce to her sit through the Baby Signs DVD I bought, but whatever.
You can see where this is going.
With the glasses on, this disinterest has mostly evaporated. She doesn’t always notice it, but certain commercials, cartoons, and Sesame Street sketches captivate her. Our first evening home with the lenses, Scott put on the Cartoon Network as an experiment, and it was hilarious and humiliating to see her reaction.
We had expected to have difficulty getting Simone to wear the glasses, but that has not been the case. Sure, she whips them off from time to time, but in general, she seems to like them. And this is just a shot in the dark, but I am pretty sure it is because SHE CAN’T SEE WITHOUT THEM ON.
Her motor skills improved virtually overnight:
She can stand on her own now indefinitely, though she has yet to take her first steps, and even her language skills have exploded. For the first time, she knows a word: “Kitty.”
Of course when I say she knows it, I do not mean she can say it recognizably. It usually comes out “GEEGEEH!” or some variation thereof. But when I say “kitty” she looks at one, and repeats the word gleefully before crawling over to lick its fur.
Most dramatic has been her sudden infatuation with books. Sure, she liked them okay before (at least Louise, Adventures of a Chicken), but now?
Now this is what I see, ALL DAY LONG:
She has her favorites (markedly distinct from MY favorites, it should be noted), and after I finish reading one and set it down, she picks it up again and thrusts it at me, saying “BUH?” (her all purpose exclamation).
I read it again—recite it from memory, really, letting her turn each fat cardboard page—and this time set it discreetly behind me, picking up another book, one I haven’t read 357 times by 8:00 in the morning. Guess what happens next?
Sigh.
A few days after she got her glasses I made an emergency run to the children’s bookstore down the street for more books, my god, MORE AND DIFFERENT BOOKS. It is obvious from the way she points to the pictures now and turns each page and understands the act of reading, that before she got her glasses, these were just big blurry squares of nothing to her.
Her discovery of books has been one of my favorite moments of parenthood so far, one I had imagined for years, but it was made a tiny bit bittersweet by just how glaring was the evidence it provided that she hadn’t been able see, and I missed it.
When you have a preemie, it’s easy to chalk up missed milestones or clumsiness or, well, ANY idiosyncrasy of your child to her prematurity. There were so many things Simone wasn’t doing that she “should” have been—stacking blocks, finding hidden objects, pointing to things—that could have been clues to her poor vision. To be fair, Early Intervention made all the same assumptions I did, but I can’t help but feel bad that she hadn’t been seeing the world, and I can’t help but wonder how much potential progress—toward that mythical goal of “catching up” with her full-term peers—we lost.
But mostly, I’m just enjoying seeing her SEE things. Even if it does mean I am about to read Goodnight Gorilla for the 4,998,563rd time.
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When you read “Goodnight, Gorilla” do you have to do all different voices for the page of everyone saying “Good night” in the dark? Because that’s the part that really gets old the 634th time, I think.
Wow, that’s amazing. She’s THRIVING mate … I wish my son liked books, he’s one and has no desire to read them whatsoever. Bo-ring.
It seems like her curiosity in the world has just quadrupled. She’ll be doing origami soon.
xo
And when you read _Goodnight, Gorilla_, do you have to name each animal in order on every page, always being careful not to forget the mouse with a banana?
My kids are older now but yesterday, when my 11-year-old and I were shopping for a board book to include in a gift for a pregnant friend, we sat right down in the bookstore and read our old favorites together, including _Goodnight, Gorilla_. I must have read that book 3,482,178 times over the years, but I still love it.
how cute is she?!! My mom has horrible eyesight, which they did not discover until they got a TV when she was like 8 and she had to press her nose up to it to watch. She did love reading, since she could not actually see anything outside. She has a degree from MIT, one of 20 women from her year, so I think you’re still ok :)
The library is your friend. Without it, our 30-weeker, now almost 22 months, would have read us out of house and home years ago.
He tends to like books about trucks and dogs. Our latest favorites are the Bow-Wow books. almost no words, so you can change up the narration.
The best thing about the library is it’s free and you can disappear books that drive you insane without guilt.
When my daughter (who is now 9) was 3, she was terribly clumsy and fell a lot. And she used to crash her bike into the curb again and again. I would push her along and she would hit the curb dozens of times in a single block as I got angrier and angrier and even threatened to throw out her bicycle if she didn’t just STEER. Huh, turned out she was blind in one eye. I had absolutely no idea, none at all. Did you know it’s hard to steer if you don’t have any depth perception? Between eye patch and glasses she sees much better now, but the mommy-guilt has left permanent scars on me.
Simone will catch up really quickly so don’t worry about that. You have a very bright and determined daughter – just like her Mommy! I bet Simone will be reading and writing well before school age ;-)
This is beautiful and funny and I’m a snotty crying mess. What gives? I’m now going to pester my MIL with questions about my husband’s inability to see until well after his 1st birthday when his surgery was completed and the glasses arrived. Should be entertaining.
Hi. My husband and I are both physicians and we did not know our 3 year old couldn’t see. They sent a screening home from preschool that she needed to see an opthamologist, I was like I’ll make an appointment but I know that she can see. Well I was wrong. I thought there is no way she is not going to wear them but she put then on and it was like aha!! She can see!! She has glasses that are like simone’s she gets tons of compliments on them.
*ahem*
My daughter’s birthday is April 25 & she was full-term. She can stand indefinitely and only just today took her first unassisted steps. She loves cats and loves to pet ours (“cat” was one of her first words). She loooooves to read and will hand you books and say “book”. One of her favourites is Good Night Gorilla.
I hereby pronounce your daughter a normal one-year-old :D
My son was the sweetest, most peaceful baby on the planet. He never cried, never complained, slept well; he was simply a joy to have around. By the time he was about four months old I bragged to my sister that he was even sleeping through the night, and was eating only four times a day. At such a young age — imagine! My sister, mother of three children and the ultimate diplomat, gently suggested that he might need more than four feedings a day, and maybe I ought to have him weighed. So I took him to the doctor, who became so alarmed at my boy’s scrawniness that he ordered me to supplement every nursing session with a bottle, and to wake him up in the middle of the night to feed him. Within a month my son had bulked up so substantially that people didn’t recognize him. Meanwhile, I felt so guilty I could hardly stand myself, and even though one of my favorite portraits of him comes from the scrawny days, I still cringe when I look at it 12 years later.
Isn’t remarkable how the horror stories come out of the woodwork when you relate your own?
Have you tried “Is Your Mama A Llama”?
Every time you write about what Simone is up to it makes me want to tell you about my little one, who’s turning 1 on Tuesday, so I think she and Simone (adjusted) are about the same age(?). Simone seems to scoot along just ahead of my girl developmentally, doing things just before my babe gets started.
The pictures of her holding up the book could’ve been taken at my house, except my daughter’s favorites are these learn-to-read books of my son’s. Argh.
They are at such a delicious baby age.
what a positive post. i know nothing about raising children or missing things as a parent, but simone seems to be turning into quite the book worm and i DO know something about that!
This post made me cry… Not because you missed her poor vision, or because you should get some Bad Mother Award, or because Simone is way behind her peers (which, really, she’s NOT. Reading the things she does and likes she’s about as far as my twins, who are almost 18 months old and were born just 2 months premature).
It made me cry because there’s this whole world opening up to your daughter, and she’s having a blast discovering it. And because every sentence you write just echos “love”. She is the luckiest kid in the world having you as her mom!
If it makes you feel any better, my mom didn’t believe I needed glasses when I was screened at school in grade 4. When we drove home after picking up my glasses I was noticing all the things I could now see (individual leaves on trees! road signs!) and she scoffed at me, telling me I was “being dramatic.” And she was a public health nurse at the time.
As a teacher, Simone’s love of books makes my heart sing!
Don’t be hard on yourself – I work with kids in kinder (age 5-6) who don’t pick up books and turn pages and demand to be read to!
Laughing out loud here. Thanks – I really needed the laughs after going to the ER twice this weekend, once for me (messed up ankle from a fall) and once for baby (hubby dropped her… oops). I am so happy to see Simone devouring books now (so to speak). Isn’t it wonderful!
Dedicated reader here. Infrequent commenter. Just wanted to say she gets exponentially cuter every time you post pictures. And that Bad Mom trophy? You can’t have it because I currently own it. ;)
What a beautiful girl! I also second the recommendation for the library–we go every week, and it’s been great to help supplement our son’s huge book collection with different books, which you get to take back (i.e., no clutter, and no retention of loathed books). It’s also great for DVD rentals, too.
I got such a lump in my throat reading this story! It’s awesome how her quality of life has improved…
I wouldn’t worry too much about catching up with her peers… She’ll get there!
I’m just now beginning to ask myself questions about Harry’s vision, and he’s coming up for 2 years old, so take your hands off that trophy, missus!
The ‘catching up’ of a premature child is a hard race to step out of; there are so many bloody finishing lines. Just when I thought I’d got out… they pulled me back in: at a year old, Harry seemed to have caught up (yay!) before it became apparent that his walking wasn’t improving and his words weren’t coming at all (boo!). Mythical indeed.
Lots of lovely locks coming through now, I see!
That is great news!!! Amazing how something so simple – a pair of correctional lenses – solves a plethora of things you “thought” were problems. I’m glad you can breathe a sign of relief now. Simone is too cute with those glasses!!! Awesome cat, too! I’m glad she’s doing well.
On your next bookstore run, get her a book with photographs of babies. I don’t know why but every baby I have known (all of mine included) is/has been obsessed with pictures of babies. We have one book with a picture of a crying baby (what did they do to get that one?) It prompted my oldest’s first [delighted] two-word utterance. “Baby cry!”
Also, do you have any local thrift shops? You can usually get board books there en masse for cheap. Although I’m not sure that pre-masticated board books would be a great idea for Simone, come to think of it…
Don’t feel bad that you didn’t notice before. Be glad that some “delays” you thought she had were so easily corrected!
As for books, I’ll sometimes just talk about the pictures, or the colors on each page, rather than reading the same story for the 108,234,892,039,482nd time.
If you need one more guilty story, here’s mine:
My 6 year old, who could tell time and read, started asking us what the choices were at restaurants with wall menus. She started asking us what time it was, all the time, instead of looking for herself. Also she lost interest in the christmas lights that she had stared at from the car every winter. Sure enough, we went to the pediatrician for her birthday visit and her eyesight had gone to pot since the last visit.
Like a previous poster described, when she finally got her glasses it was all “Look at the leaves! I can see the shingles on that roof! Hey, that store’s phone number is…”
Now she’s almost nine, and in addition to some cute wire frames for everyday wear, she’s got sports glasses for soccer that make her look like Kareem Abdul Jabar. Because you can’t kick the ball if you can’t see it. And if you get a ball in the face, you don’t want metal bits embedded in your nose.
P.S. best board book you’ve never heard of: Tumble Bumble.
Oh, and they make these plastic smooshy books “for the bath” that are just as good on the couch for book-eating. And they can be sanitized more easily than cardboard.
The Gossie and Gertie books are great. Simple and cute to look at for parents, too.
Yay for books and being able to see them! I remember lamenting that my daughter just didn’t seem interested in reading, it broke my heart. Turned out, there was something about being 2 months old that didn’t spell out Future Book Club Member. I know can’t remember a time when Nicola didn’t have her nose pressed in a book. She can’t read yet, but I swear her stories are better than the ones written.
If it makes you feel any better, I took my son to the ENT office to consult about ear tubes, and cheerfully told them that he seemed to be hearing just fine…and then watched him flunk his hearing test rather spectacularly. Granted, they did a second test that confirmed that his ears worked fine — they were just all full of gunk; and once they cleaned the gunk out and put the tubes in and he stopped having infections every other day, he came right back up to normal. But boy, did I feel like a nimwit.
Love the photos. I have a soft spot for the way kids bring you books upside down, because that’s how they think books go if they sit facing you when you read. =)
I always wondered why my son got so excited when he saw the postman coming down the street- but never looked twice at any book I presented to him. Well, he was very, very farsighted at that time, and got his first pair of glasses at about 18 months. And I felt so guilty… But then my aunt told me, that her son had injured himself in the swimming pool, because he swam into another boy whom he could not see due to his shortsightedness. By this time he was ten years old and had been to school for four years. My son and my cousin are successful scientists by now, so you should not worry :-)
My daughter got her first glasses when she was four. We walked out onto the parking lot, she looked down at the paving, and said, “Oh, it’s made up of little rocks.”
Oh, my, the guilt!!!
I gave my mom the same Mommy Guilt about my glasses. She spent hours trying to point out the airplane in the sky to me, the license plate from Alaska – I never could see them. When I got my glasses and pointed to a plane in the sky she pulled over and burst into tears. “All this time you were blind – we thought you were stupid!” Well thanks, Mom……. And I did it to my daughter too – took her into the doctor with an ear so infected the eardrum had ruptured. Our first clue? The blood and pus pouring out of her ear – niiiiiice. I’m so glad she is excited about books – and Sesame Street – I welled up a good bit reading of her new discoveries. So exciting!!
I have done the same thing with my first child–missed signs of this or that–but remember, it IS your first child. You’ve never raised a baby from fetus height to toddlerhood before, so you didn’t know what to expect in terms of all the little things–stacking, watching TV, walking, etc. If this were your 23rd child, I’d say, “Maybe you should have realized some of these things sooner,” but your first child? Give yourself a break. You’re doing great.
Love the photos of her devouring the books. That is so much fun. And the worlds she is discovering.
Deb
oh alexa…you’re so gifted.
Simone is just adorable….
peace,
kath
Pray she never gets obsessed with trains, because then some well-meaning person will give her the book Tootle. You will then be forced to read fucking Tootle with its no-rhyming, shitty ’40s syntax one bazillion times a day until you decide Tootle needs to “go bye-bye.”
But then your kid will cry and cry and beg for “Toot” and “wed fwag waving” and “stay on the wails,” and you will be racked with guilt.
But still, fuck Tootle.
Looks like I’m not the only one with an ah-ha! moment.
My Mom works for an optometrist and one day a 8 year-old boy came in and he was found to be severely nearsighted, like -800. She was incredulous- how could the mom not know her son couldn’t see. So while I was in the hospital to have my son 3 years ago she decided to take my daughter, then 4, to have her eyes checked at work. Turns out she’s really farsighted and was at risk for a lazy eye if we hadn’t caught and corrected it.
Just caught up on all your new entries. I agree with your mother btw. I think you should concentrate on your writing. I just told a writer friend that I think you are the next blogger who will get a book deal (line up with Dooce, Dad Gone Mad, and Jennsylvania) and this post just proves my point. I adore your blog. Just a quick Monday shout-out for Flotsam!
I reckon this happens far more often than you would think! Great that it has been spotted and she is devouring books now. Cool specs too!
My husband still talks about not getting glasses until third grade, and only then realizing he was practically blind. Or that there was a chalkboard. Obviously, he compensated beautifully up to that point, and since then has proven himself gifted in many areas including law, business, computers and animation. So there. (Oh, and there are sooooo many other things we blame his mother for, so pray this thing will be the worst for you.)
My almost-one-year-old daughter LOVES the board book, “What’s On My Head?” Loves it. Cracks her up. And she’s a tough customer on the book front.
That photo of Simone and your kitty made me literally clap with joy.
SIMONE LOVES KITTIES AND BOOKS! She and I just might need to be BFFs now…
always love to read your posts. she is on her way now!
My very near-sighted mother didn’t get glasses until High School. She remembers walking into their local department store and having never known that its carpet had a huge pattern. I think you (and Simone) are doing just great.
Love this post. The pictures of Simone reading the books are so wonderful. Parents beat themselves up for so many things. You didn’t know. I remember my daughter wouldn’t let me read books to her until she was about 2 or 3 and I worried about that, seems like Simone is on her way.
Ok- I can one up you! My daughter was 18 months and her eyes had crossed before- duh- picture me slapping my head- I realized she couldn’t see. Fortunately for me, now her eyes are straight and she happily wears her glasses. It was the same for my daughter, everything started to take off once she got her glasses.
Let’s see. The Bear Snores on and assorted books in the series, Sheep in a Jeep and assorted books in the series, and my personal favorite, the Hola Jalenpeno and that whole series. Totally saved me. Didn’t mind reading them over and over again. Olivia isn’t bad, neither is Tumble Bumble. For ABC’s, I liked Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.
My ah-ha moment with glasses was in second grade. How I survived first grade was beyond me. The board, it had like stuff on it I wanted to know about.
As a seven year old, I vividly remember walking out of the eye doctor’s office and screaming, “Mom, look at the LEAVES on the TREES!” I thought trees were little green clouds on brown sticks until then. Until I was twelve, I had to get my eyes checked every six months because a series of rapid growth spurts causes such severe changes in my vision that I could literally see the blackboard with my glasses one week and not the next. Good luck. You’re not the only one to miss a vision problem in your child!
How frickin precious is she in those specs? Uggh – adorable. It’s just a huge giant bonus they are working for her. She looks like she’s handling it like a pro.
It’s no wonder you didn’t suspect her sight. She’s so f’ing adorable and fantabulous that who would think of her being less than perfect?
For the record, if you’ve found a way to “read” Goodnight Gorilla, let me know. Who produces a children’s book with NO WORDS AT ALL (except “good night [animal]“? I have a great imagination and all but c’mon people. It’s like they’ve laced those pages with baby crack or something, and then they sit in the background and snicker while us doofus parents struggle to make up the same stupid story every single time. You’d think a little variety in the story would be good, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (as you’ve already learned).
Glad she is loving her glasses, and glad you are enjoying her love of books.
You had no way of knowing, and frankly, catching it now at one year is just fine. And thank you for reminding me, I myself am going to make an appointment for my kids to get their eyes checked. The older ones have been there many times, but the baby not yet. Who knows? Considering how incredibly nearsighted I am I just assumed that all my kids would be. Dodged that bullet with the older two, but I could be writing this post next sweetie!
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