Handbag of Shame: For Waffle.
Inspired by the inimitable Jaywalker, and also by my need to post something, anything for my ungrateful mother, I have decided to reveal to you the contents of Pearl, my handbag.
Roughly clockwise-ish, from left to right:
1. Passport, which has remained in outside pocket since my trip last month. You know, in case I need to leave the country in a hurry.
2. Bag of clippy strappy things to attach handbag to stroller handle
3. Cell phone, seldom used except as child-distracting device, encrusted with baby spittle
4. Small pouch (gift from mother), contents of which comprise 5 through 8
5. Enclosure from bouquet of flowers from first Valentine’s day with Scott, reading “Love you like a dragon in a hurricane.” Marks last occasion husband purchased flowers, due to cat’s tendency to bite off rose tops
6. Pin (purchased by mother at museum gift shop) made from bottle cap, resin, glitter, and picture of androgynous, rosy-cheeked, mischievous old woman in large black hat, which I have carried around for ten years, thinking of androgynous, rosy-cheeked, mischievous old woman in large black hat as a sort of guardian angel
7. Bright orange shell from first trip to The Breakers
8. Lake Superior stone chosen for me by Scott long ago, after I asked him to find one that reminded him of me (plain and round?)
9. Credit cards, loose
10. Sunglasses in case
11. Collapsible hanger to suspend handbag safely from tabletop
12. Change, loose
13. Four $1 bills
14. iPod, uncharged
15. Gum
16. Pile of receipts, one used tissue, half-sucked cough drop in wrapper, chewed gum, also in wrapper
17. Stray cough drops from last month’s illness
18. Blister prevention gummy Band-Aid patches, from Switzerland trip
19. Lady Products
20. Stray tissues from from last month’s illness
21. Magnetic Picasso bookmark
22. Mirror compact
23. Lavender scented blotting papers
24. Toothpick and tweezers, snatched away from daughter who had removed them from Swiss Army knife keychain
25. Complimentary mini lip balm from dentist, delectably almond scented
26. Tin of mints, unopenable due to daughter using said tin as teething toy
27. Smooth piece of carnelian purchased in Luzern
28. Wallet (gift from mother, purchased in Venice) (wallet, not mother) containing picture of Simone, D’amico Pasta Stamp Card, sheaf of Swiss francs, seldom used gym ID card, etc.
29. Rattle belonging to Simone’s Cabbage Patch Kid doll, Cankle
30. Zofran, used on flight to Amsterdam in paranoid anticipation of illness
There! That wasn’t bad, actually. Practically spartan. Feel free to share in the comments the most intriguing item currently to be found in your own handbag.
28 Comments
I just saw your sunburn and I am sure that it is still killing you so here is what all the medical professional do. We use dermaplast spray, which contains topical lidocaine and comes in a spray can in the sunburn relief section and then we take tylenol and benadryl together. Why together you ask? To knock back the inflammation (histamines) being released by the damage to your skin. The pain goes away much sooner and the skin heals sooner with the combo, plus you are not as miserable.
Hope this helps.
God, I’m dull. The contents of my purse:
wallet (with credit cards, cash, and pics of boys).
sunglasses and case
lip balm (2) – Burt’s Bees Honey
2 blue pens
a hair elastic
a small purple notebook for schedules, notes, letting small children draw in when bored, etc.
my keys
a tampon
a small change purse that fell off a purse I no longer own, with some change but most importantly a fistful of Excedrin
CANKLE! I love it.
I covet your wallet.
These are the kinds of things that make me feel like I am not a real girl. My handbag is missing so, so many of those essentials. Blotting papers! Adorable! Girly! Me: always looking for a way to skip the purse entirely and stuff everything in my pockets like a boy except that I love skirts with no pockets so….
Contents of my purse
wallet
3 checkbooks
1 calendar
diaper
wipes
tissues
camera
sewing kit
2 lipsticks
2 lipgloss
calculator
baseball tickets
baseball schedule
random receipts
pen
cell phone
mints
mentos
hand sanitizer
pictures of my boys
$1
A collection of lollipops, assorted flavors.
Thank you dearest one. The worst ever, and i have mentioned this before were, in reverse order: our home cordless phone (possibly mistaken by me in a fit of extra stupidity for my cellphone), cheese rind, dessicated mealworms. But I live in hope of even better things one day..
The hot pink burp rag is the best I’ve got, but I linked you and praised your handbag hook in my post, since you are actually carrying yours, instead of keeping it in your closet, as I do.
At the moment my handbag contains rather inexplicably some strips for DIY leg waxing, a fistful of change, a leaking pen and a gaudy pink feather.
It does not sadly contain Important Crucial Document that I have for a week been trying to find.
(Although I suppose my worst handbag story was when husband and I got really dolled up for celebration of wedding anniversary, booked a fancy restaurant, found a babysitter for then five-month old baby, I did up my hair, put on a fancy dress – the works and upon getting to restaurant realised that my instead of a cellphone and a sleek lipstick, my fancy handbag contained spit-up encrusted muslin cloths, nappies and an obnoxious rattle).
why I need 5 lipsticks in my purse, makes me wonder! pebble found at the state fair,gum,chipped stone to remind me of car accident I “almost” was in. way too many receipts & paper. miniflash light, keys,checkbook & wallet. my other purse is my cargo jeans, everything goes in the pockets!
You know your purse is too big when you find a pair of soccer socks (of knee-high length) at the bottom AND you still have room for all your other crap.
This may or may not have happened to me. I’m really to embarrassed to admit the truth. :)
Alexa, you make me think of the protagonist of the “Clan of the Cave Bear” books, Ayla. She invented EVERYTHING (fire, birth control, sewing needles…), so she’s smart like you, and she carries a pouch around her neck with all her special totems, just like you! Sara
Wow–your purse is so much girlier than mine! I want blotting paper! My large bag currently contains the following:
Wallet
10+ pens and small notebook
Burt’s Bees chapstick
Random change
Old, half way opened baggie full of goldfish crackers
String cheese
Random raisins
No Good Deeds by Laura Lippman (from the library and now unfortunately encrusted in goldfish cracker crumbs and raisins)
3 pacifiers
Keys
Sunglasses
SPF 90 sunscreen
D’Amico! I miss that place.
are there any rocks from Lake Superior that aren’t dull and completly round? Apart from the huge honkin’ ones that comprise the shoreline that is.
I’ll be up there this weekend so I’ll take a look and let you know. I know my son will be facinated with rediscovering the art of ’skipping rocks’ in Grand Marais. However, since he’s only 4 he just picks them up and throws them. You can get all sorts of spashes when you throw multiple rocks. :-)
Oh boy…I’ll have to do this today! My bag is scary.
I am in love with your bag – where did you get it?
My bag doubles as a diaper bag, so add diapers, diaper creme, wipes, scented bags for disposing of stinky diapers, baby tylenol, cheerios. And for mommy? Excedrin migraine and ibuprofen. And a wallet. And usually a book. Because you never know when you’ll need a book.
OOH how I love looking in other people’s bags! There is a flickr group devoted to the subject . . . just this morning I was thinking I should take a photo for it. Before I do so though, I’m going to have to put some interesting things in my bag. And figure out how to photograph the camera in my bag using the camera in my bag. Mirrors, perhaps?
The most intriguing items in my handbag are 1) a coffee travel mug, with coffee (Hammacher Schlemmer, “the best commuter cup”, keeps coffee warm all day and never leaks) 2) a dental “splint” to protect against grinding. Everything else is run of the mill, unless people don’t usually carry technical manuals around in their purse.
glittery gold paper fish – part of New Year fishbowl made by child B
My purse is so big that my father actually said, “I put your keys in your carry on” when I was over there recently.
You don’t want to know what’s in there.
contents of The Mother Ship (my diaper bag)
1. smaller purse that allows me to fit through most single-width doors (unlike The Mother Ship).
2. Orange monkey head eraser.
3. Under eye concealer to maintain illusion that I’m holding it all together.
4. 5 small pink bubble containers with heart-shaped top (from a wedding, great bubbles that are a fabulous distraction during a meltdown… the baby enjoys them as well).
5. 2 kinds of instant stain treatment
6. Americana themed checkbook-size calendar featuring homes, schools and sheep that all appear to have been made by Quakers. My older daughter sold it to me for “a coin.”
7. Change-purse a friend brought me from Italy
8. Loose change.
9. Kiehl’s tinted spf 15 lip balm with teeth marks left by my dog and the baby (on separate occasions).
Contents of bag include sunglasses, stamps, 3 pairs earrings, lip gloss I never wear, wallet, migraine meds, 17 Jolly Ranchers (to bribe my 4-year-old with), cell phone, keys, check book (why? I never write checks), passport, 4 pens, powder compact I never use, calling card that only works in Canada (I am a US citizen), and volume 3 of The Story of the Stone by Cao Xuequin — I’ve finished reading it, but I’m supposed to be writing a review on it for my blog. Also crumbs, receipts, reports from day care, etc.
At least I appear to be past the 3+ pacifiers and multiple-baby-socks stage.
I approve of #3, #9, #10, #14, #22, #23 and #28. All the rest should either be tossed or left at home. Your shoulders will thank you.
My bag contains: crumbs, various zip lock baggies of baby foodstuffs, a weight watchers tracker (torn),”Baby Beluga,” “Panda Bear, Panda Bear,” and “Architecture Animals” board books, and a postcard of a puffin from my mother-in-law.
Also: Cankle? LMAO.
Most intriguing article? My son’s ducky teether (the $2 Gerber one you can purchase anywhere — definitely his favorite kind) that he hasn’t “used” in over a year since he’s now 2. And, yet, I love having it in there. :)
I think that bag is almost identical to my own (inherited from my Mum but which we bought together) Hayeden Harnett bag. Is that so? I LOVE that bag. This blog post made me marvel at how much your bloggers must most likely have in common with each other yet not even realise it. My contents are scarily similar to yours too.