Nutritional Information.

So, does your baby eat? Because mine still doesn’t, not with any consistency. Sure, she has her good days, like the Thursday she ate a WHOLE ENTIRE CHICKEN FINGER (happily, the most nutritious part of the chicken), but in general it is a battle, and one I am waging poorly.

The situation is not helped by the varying opinions on how much a 13-to-17-month-old baby ought to be consuming in a day. [Speaking of 13-to-17-month-old babies, I have tired of explaining Simone's actual and adjusted ages, and now when someone asks how old she is, I simply express her age as a range. I assume people think I can’t remember, that I've only managed to narrow the date of her birth to a four month window, or maybe that we found her in the woods and "13-to-17 months" is the closest estimate we could come up with by counting her rings.]

Anyhow, her pediatrician is concerned, but her pulmonologist says she’s doing splendidly. The pulmonologist is easily pleased—if baby is keeping her blood oxygenated and her toes pink, he’s full of praise for us. This is the difference between a critical care specialist and a general practice pediatrician, by the way—the height of the bar your baby must clear. Simone was just allowed to discontinue Pulmicort until winter, so by pulmonologist standards, she is some kind of respiratory rock star. As for the fact that she still gets most of her nutrition via bottle, he says “It would be stranger if she DIDN’T have any eating issues after being on the vent for two months.” He doesn’t pull any punches, Simone’s pulmonologist, and at every appointment reminds us how astounded he is that Simone didn’t die. “I’ve read her chart,” he said as he first entered her NICU room to introduce himself, “And frankly I’m surprised she’s here at all.”

But I’d like to start setting the bar a little higher, now, start inching closer to treating Simone like a Regular Old Baby. The problem being that I have no idea what one expects of Regular Old Babies. I do own a book about them, but I rarely open it, because it has been singularly unhelpful. For instance, the typical day’s menu it gives for a child Simone’s age:

BREAKFAST: 3 egg whites, yogurt smoothie, bran muffin, coffee (decaf), 6-8 oz. juice

MORNING SNACK: Wheel of gouda, piece of toast with peanut butter, two apples

LUNCH: Whole chicken breast, spinach salad, Bananas Foster

AFTERNOON SNACK: 12 oz milk, slice of pie, pkg. Lil’ Smokies

DINNER: Filet mignon or Turducken, baked potato, 1 cup chili, whole avocado, Big Gulp

I’m typing that from memory, so it may not be 100% accurate, but you get the general idea. It is a lot of food.

So what I’m wondering—and this is where you come in, people—is this: If you have a baby between the ages of 13 and 17 months, or HAVE had a baby between the ages of 13 and 17 months, what does it eat in a day? And does it still make an unholy—though enthusiastic—mess when given a sippy cup?