Edith Speedeth.

I am typing this on Edith, my new laptop. Her arrival this morning is the only reason I am typing anything at all, because over the past month or so my laptop had been getting slower and slower and whirrier and whirrier until even opening an email took so long that I would frequently get up while it was working to do something else. Like knit an afghan.
I in no way had the money for a new laptop, but I spend 10 hours a day on my computer, and when it up and stopped loading the photo editor on Flickr altogether, I knew I had two choices: get a new computer, or have a massive breakdown involving shouting, weeping, and the ritual destruction of electronics. Posting anything here had become quite the undertaking, with an entry that should have taken 20 minutes taking something like TWO HOURS if I had the temerity to include a picture. And then today, the very day my new laptop was delivered, the old one all but stopped responding altogether.

You know, it was never quite right, that laptop, and I think my mistake was that when I chose it, I thought to myself “oh, all I do is write and piddle around on the internet, I don’t need “RAM” or “memory!” But apparently I do. So I put a 15″ MacBook Pro (I’m a Pro, apparently, in need of special PRO equipment) on a credit card, and oh my god, it is the best thing I have ever done, squirmy shameful feeling about living beyond my means aside. Everything is so fast! Opening a sixth browser tab doesn’t make smoke rise from the keyboard, and I can have more than one application running at a time. I can have two word processor documents open AND be on the internet, and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of that goddamn unendingly spinning rainbow beachball of torpor, and I bet that if I wanted to I could even watch a YouTube video without all hell breaking loose.

I’m going to post more often this month in celebration. WITH PICTURES, even, because I have been meticulously documenting Simone’s most recent installations, and I know you won’t want to miss her unorthodox use of materials (iced tea pitcher, keychain, baby wipe, miniaturized Mr. Potato Head spectacles—and that’s JUST ONE PIECE). Am I right, or am I right?