So, I am loving formspring. I’m deep in editing until the end of this week, and answering a question or two is a refreshing break from work that doesn’t require a large chunk of time, which means I get to talk to you even when I can’t post. I am likely to remain frazzled until mid-month, and so suspect I will be using formspring a lot. The only problem I’ve found is a tendency to start rambling and realize “hey, this should be a blog post,” and then that I don’t have time for that, and I end up cutting and pasting the answer into a document I’ve started called “Get to the goddamn POINT, already” so that I can finish it later. (Actually that’s a lie: the document is called “Untitled 2,” but it works better the other way).
Speaking of points and not getting to them, the point of this post was supposed to be Simone, as the most frequently asked question by far was what she’s been up to. Boy, you people love that baby. I shudder to think what would happen were the two of us to run for Class President.
I can’t really blame you, because she is particularly delightful at the moment. One of the worst things about not having posted for so long is that I have no record of Simone during that time, and my memory is not what it used to be. So here we go: Simone at almost-25-months.
She is extremely talkative, like unusually-extroverted-publicist-on-cocaine talkative. It isn’t always possible to understand what she’s SAYING, mind, but she’s always saying (or yelling) something. Much of it is also quite witty, at least according to her. She holds long telephone conversations, walking back and forth in the hallway holding the receiver to her ear, saying “Hi. Hi. No. No no NOOO! HAHAHAHAHA! GoGO! Byee!” She seems to be very popular, though her relationships can be volatile: some calls are furrowed-brow serious; some merit shouting. I don’t know where she meets these people.
I got her a set of miniature enamel pots and pans for her birthday, and I have never seen her so taken with anything. Her interest in cooking is a mystery, as she hasn’t seen me do it in months. Almost as mysterious is her interest in eating/feeding others what she makes, as real food could not possibly interest her less.
She carries things around, as many as she can manage, occasionally running out of hands and resorting to holding an object in her mouth, like a dog. Incidentally, Simone’s obsessed with dogs, and every time the (actual) phone rings, is certain it is my mother’s youngest dog, calling to talk to her.
“Shau?” she asks, crowding close (the dog’s name is Scout), “Dog? Woofwoof?”
I tell her that no, actually, the caller is human, and anyway didn’t call to talk to HER, but she is never convinced, and wedges her face against mine to get at the speaker: “Hellooo?”
But back to carrying things. Usually she has at least one pot, a cup or two, a toy ladle, her baby and a pen or plastic spoon. Sometimes she adds a baby wipe, in case she feels the urge to clean, as one so often does (no). She cleans by rubbing said wipe along a cat or bookshelf, and I haven’t the faintest idea where she learned such behavior, though I encourage it whenever I can. When carrying her customary assortment she will drop something every once in a while, and there is quite a production involved in picking it up again without relinquishing her hold on the other pieces in her collection.
The doll I gave her at Christmas is still the favorite, though she has others as well—all told we have Hair Baby (the aforementioned), Tiny Baby (unfortunate backward-limbed mini-doll), Soft Baby (Aka Ursli, present from her Nani), and Cankle (Cabbage Patch Kid with one broken ankle-thread). They are named only for my own convenience, and as far as I know Simone has neglected to give them names herself. I will admit that her babies are all very well fed, unlike my corporeal, living child.
Simone is about 24 pounds, at most, and stands maybe twice the height of a dictionary, or at least that’s what I estimate from where I am sitting. She’s tiny, but an excellent dancer, and nearly lost her wee mind for a NWA song the other day. The very best thing in the world is when she sprawls next to me in bed at night, and after running through her repertoire of sounds, tells me she is happy.
“Happy!” she says and signs, “Happy! Happy! Haaa!ppyy!”


{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
She needs a purse! One of those old lady huge ones, to stash her “collection”, as we call whatever my 2 yr old is carrying around.
awww love hearing about her…. since my daughter just turned 21 months (and is also petite) its like taking a page from my own day with my girl…. so glad to read a post!
She is getting cuter by the second. I say no to the purse and yes to the cart that lady pushes down the street to the grocery store. You know the one, right? Open at the top but covered on three sides. She neeeeeeeds it!
Oh, she is way way way too cute.
Ohhhhhhh just what i needed this morning!!!! Thanks soooo much for the update!!
YES—we love that baby girl of yours so please keep us updated!!!
Sunnie
Omg, that last paragraph made me want to throw my b.c. pills out the window. Gah! Just a few more months!
Thanks for the wonderful post, and good luck editing!
We should just have our daughters clean our houses with wipes…they do it so well!
My daughter does all of what you say–especially the phone conversations!
I have to get into naming her babies…
Glad to hear (and see) a Simone update!
That’s a hoot…
When I was a nanny, I named the little girl’s baby “Chuckie”. It was so old and when it would talk sounded like it was possessed. The first time I heard it I raced to K’s room thinking she was dead/dying/being eaten by a dinosaur.
I also think Simone needs an old lady purse.
A CP Kid named Cankle is the best thing I’ve heard in a long time.
I have been reading your blog for a couple of years and I have been extremely entertained each and every time I see a new post pop up in feed tab. I just had to post this time to add my vote for getting that baby a big ole lady purse!!
And, she will be needing a kitchen soon….you know one of those compact stove/fridge/sink combo things….especially since they almost all come with a phone!
Good to hear the Simone update. I’m with everyone else in that she definitely needs a purse. Something that clicks open and shut and is capacious (perhaps like this?http://www.mainstreetvintage.com/members/alboo/listings/brownalligatorSterlinghandbag%20002.jpg).
My youngest, S, now almost 15, had one she carried around for ages, usually with all kinds of fun costume jewellry inside (sparkly!). It also used to double as her medical bag with the fisher price stethescope stuffed inside.
S also has great love for Simone; whenever she sees me reading your blog she comes over to see the latest pictures of “the cutest baby ever”. I’d offer her babysitting services, but the 1000 km commute isn’t really feasible.
Try showing her how to wash a baby doll with a wipe. My two year old daycare class LOVED doing that.
I laughed quite hard at the fact that she thinks the dog is calling her on the phone. You know, I could probably get my dog to call her on the phone, my dog likes babies that size.
So cute! And so happy! I wonder if things like collecting and carrying, not to mention cleaning, are evolutionarily hard wired. Because all these little people seem to do those things, whether they’ve seen their parents do them or not. Not sure where turning things into purses or talking on the phone falls, though, Darwin-wise.
Awww Simone! Love the update – thanks!
(ps- Cabbage Patch baby named Cankle OMG)….
Haaaa!Pppy too to read such a lovely post. So so so sweet to see a happy beautiful adored Simone.
That was one of the funniest, and sweetest, things I have read in a long time. :)
She is precious and adorable and just TOO MUCH generally. I love that she carries an odd collection of things with her – my 2-yr old does this as well.
Though oddly, mine DOES use the baby wipe to clean surfaces. I have no idea where she picked up that trait. Perhaps she’s not mine…
So glad you wrote this! You will be too, years from now when you look back and remember the “Happy, Happy, Haaa!ppyy!!!” part!
So glad to see a new post! I hope you’re done editing soon-I miss you!
Simone gets cuter every day…I agree with a previous commenter-get that child a purse!
I think this comment needs more exclamation points!
Yes, to all the above points: she’s a doll; I miss you; the book will be Great!
May each step we take Lead the way to Peace.
My middle daughter’s doll was simply “Bald Baby”, although occasionally she called her Kiki. We STILL have the wooden kitchen my youngest got at three (she’s seven) because she insists it’s still important to her. I’m thinking Simone could use it more. I hope she keeps cooking, cleaning and feeling happy.
By golly, she’s a cutie. And she sounds absolutely hilarious, too. Thanks for this update, which brought a huge smile to my face.
I’m also loving this formspring thing. I was so excited to see that you answered both of my questions (Grand Ole Creamery and What DON’T you believe in?). Sorry, I’m fangrlll-ing out right now!
What a dolly she is. And sounds like quite the little girl. They are magic, aren’t they? :)
Yes, she needs a purse and/or one of those kiddie shopping carts.
Every now and then I look at my daughter and think “When did you become a KID!??!!” Am having the same reaction after reading your post. (And boy is Simone cute!)
This sounds so much like my own 2-yr-old! She mostly carried her stuffed animals and blankets, as I haven’t yet given her a dishes set (good idea!) and the phone thing… Fuss doesn’t think it’s a dog, but she insists she needs to say “Heh-doh” to everyone who calls me, whether it’s a solicitor (I should really let her answer those calls) or one of my girlfriends.
My step-daughter had Baby Amputee(missing a leg) and Paprika(she was a Blue’s Clues fan). :)
Hi,
I am not sure how I stumbled upon your blog, but I want you to know that the story of your NICU experience was so therapeutic for me to read. My baby was born at 25 weeks, and was just discharged from the hospital last week. I found your blog about halfway through her stay there. I went from laughing uncontrollably at all your hilarious ways of putting things to crying over the heart wrenching experiences you described. I could identify with SO much of your story. And I so appreciate your amazing talent as a writer. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing with others.
I haven’t been by in awhile but what a lovely post to have up the day I make my way back(no Internet for past YEAR, blah).
So nice to hear how well she is doing and your descriptions of her on the phone and what she does when the phone rings…OH EM GEE. Funny(mostly because I can completely relate.)
You better watch her-carrying all that stuff around. She’s liable to end up like that crazy garbage dump lady from Labyrinth. But, shoooooot, that chick could carry a lot of shit. Quick, get that girl a Labyrinth DVD so she can get some pointers.
Yeah! Her first purse!
Imagine her swinging it around, dancing like a lunatic and chanting, “Happy! Happy! Haaa! Ppppy!”.
That would be sheer preciousness (not a word, I know. But what the hell).
I was so excited to see that you answered both of my questions (Grand Ole Creamery and What DON’T you believe in?). Sorry, I’m fanlight-in out right now! thanx for sharing.