Last week, Amazon began shipping my book hither and yon (well, mostly yon). To people. I had been saving all my anxiety for August 10th, my actual pub date, and was unprepared when called upon ahead of schedule. (My fretting was still at the cleaners! My swivet was unironed! My lather was in no condition to be worked into!) But I managed—interrupting my jig of glee to wonder darkly whether it was too late to send some sort of mass email to…the world, informing them that it wasn’t my best work, that at least I learned the valuable lesson that six months is not long enough when it comes to book writin’ (I just came over all folksy there at the end, didn’t I?).
What if I’ve disappointed people I respect? I’d think, tormented. There are people reading my book right this very second, just ripe for disappointment!
But then the excitement was back: There are PEOPLE reading MY BOOK right this very SECOND! CAPS LOCK, EXCLAMATION POINT!
Anyhow, it’s available, if you are interested. I hope you like it. Every time someone says they do, an angel gets his wings I feel overcome. And if you like it, maybe you could review it on Amazon, or something? Don’t be shy! Now that it’s available to the general public, I feel certain the “don’t quit your day job” reviews are about to start pouring in. (Joke’s on them! I don’t have a day job! Oh, hell.)
Speaking of being shy: the upside of missing my flight this morning (after waking at five I arrived at the airport to find security lines so long I was told I was already too late 45 minutes before takeoff) was that I was spared having to be interviewed over the phone while still at LaGuardia, as planned. Instead, because my new flight was in the air at the appointed time, I got to reschedule—and just finished moments ago, safe in my hotel room. Interviews make me nervous under the best of circumstances, and answering questions in a teeming, echo-y airport terminal is…not them. My plan had been to get myself detained by customs so that I’d have a nice, quiet interrogation room all to myself, but I am relieved that this wasn’t necessary. I’m not really groomed for a cavity search, if you know what I mean.
Because of the flight snafu, most of my day was shot to hell. I was going to tramp around the whole damn city enjoying the hell out of myself, but I am sleepy and think I will settle for dinner and a cocktail in the bar downstairs. Tomorrow I will tramp around enjoying the hell out of myself in the morning, and in the evening the jittery machinery of BlogHer lurches into action. This year I’m not even nervous, if only because my excitement is bigger than my anxiety, and anyway my anxiety is busy with other things, like wondering what pictures they chose for an upcoming article, and more specifically whether the photographer was listening when I helpfully remarked that I liked that one, the one with only the single chin—or about the LIVE TELEVISION INTERVIEW I have to do, LIVE, next week on my way to another airport, and whether they could just shoot my shoes the whole time, and maybe have soothing musical interludes after each question to give me time to respond.
Oh, you are in for a treat, you poor bastards reading along. Me! On a book tour! It’s practically a book of its own. Possible titles I’m considering:
“Fear and More Fear in a Variety of Locations”
“Travels with Klonopin”
“Make Way For Agoraphobes”
Speaking of which, if you are going to be at BlogHer, please note that I will be signing books in the BlogHer bookstore on Saturday from 12:40 to 1:15. Come visit me! And if you can’t (WHY CAN’T YOU?) then at least come up and say hello if/when you see me wandering the corridors. (Here is my field guide from last year.)
A few weeks ago Simone’s Early Intervention therapists accompanied us to the Indoor Large Motor Play Area (complete with ballpit, which sent someone into paroxysms of ecstasy), and at one point a class entered, a class full of presumably developmentally quirky children of varying ages, all screaming and carrying on. I have my suspicions, in fact, that their volume alone was what qualified them for state services.
Anyhow, the OT remarked upon how well Simone was handling the onslaught. She didn’t appear to notice the commotion, gamely ignoring a foot that almost connected with her head as a ponytailed five-year-old boy dove screaming past her into the depths of the pit. No, Simone sat unruffled, fondly inventorying her precious spheres.
“She doesn’t seem bothered at all!” the OT marveled, and then she gave me a look.
I, you see, had both arms crossed taut and protectively across my chest, my right hand scratching compulsively at my left forearm, my brain flopping against its confines, wriggling and screaming GET OUT NOW! LEAVE THIS PLACE!
Had they bothered with such things when I was a youth, I would almost certainly have been diagnosed with some sort of sensory wonkiness, and every once in a while I will mention a fondly remembered childhood eccentricity and someone will stare at me in horror, or I’ll read a post by a parent of a spectrum-y child and think “Oh! Stimming! Is that what it’s called, that thing I do?” I have ADD, and an anxiety disorder with obsessive/compulsive tendencies. My mind is not able to prioritize, and experiences many stimuli simultaneously in a way that is extraordinarily overwhelming. It’s why I cannot go to certain movies in the theater. And more to the point, it is why in the setting of a large party or similar, I may seem a little distracted or unable to remember your blog (until later—I always remember later, and then I curse myself) or just plain uncomfortable. Please don’t be offended if this is so. I do well in small groups and around people I know, and I think this BlogHer will be vastly easier than last because I have already made friends and feel less like I am repeating my one traumatic, abortive trip to summer camp.
One-on-one I am almost TOO comfortable, as evidenced by the following partial list of topics covered during my recent taxi ride:
-Driver’s twin 13-year-old sons, who both play soccer, are identical (I saw pictures) and were born two weeks early
-Driver’s 17-year-old son, who is hanging out too much with girls and needs to lose some weight (he used to play soccer, but quit) (Driver’s stepfather played professionally for Colombia) (Driver played himself, then gave it up and got up to 260 pounds before a friend convinced him to take it up again seven years ago)
-The importance of Sport in keeping Youths out of Trouble (I was not much for Sport, and…well.)
-Metabolism, how it changes as we age
-New York City, liveliness of, lack of sleeping
I have lost my train of thought, so I will leave you with this, my favorite part of the final book cover:
I think a variation of that ought to go on my tombstone.
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eeee- i just ordered my copy! i can’t wait to inhale it and leave a (glowing, i’ve no doubt) review on amazon. happy nyc-ing to you!
Hurray! I just ordered my copy too, can’t wait to read it and I’ll definitely review it on Amazon and let you know how I liked it too. Enjoy blogger!
You are hilarious!! (I think I say that every time I comment). Congratulations!! :)
Ah, the nudge I needed to remind me to tell you that I preordered and it came early and I LOVED it!!! Congratulations–you may not think it is your best work, but I really thought it was wonderful. And I’m delurking to tell you so. :)
The book is fantastic–loved every word. I wish I could make it to one of your signings/tour stops!
I got your book last week. I will be reading it on my upcoming vacation at the beach. I am very tempted to start it now but I am saving it so I have something good to read. I know it’s going to be good! I can tell just by holding it in my hands.
I got your book last week and just finished it yesterday! I looooooved it, Alexa. You really are an amazing writer and so funny! :)
Oh, and I met you last year at BlogHer and I have told everyone that looks at me while I’m reading your book that I! MET! THE! AUTHOR! And she is SO! AWESOME! It’s getting ridiculous.
Do you have any pull with the publisher to get your book available for the Kindle??? Pretty please??? :)
Your book is laying next to me as I type! I’ve only read the preface, but I’m already in love with it. I’m just waiting till I have a good chunk of time to devote to reading, because I don’t plan to stop until I am done!
I cannot WAIT to read your book.
I got your book Friday, and was done by Sunday morning! I found it to be a real page turner, even though I (presumably!) knew how it ended. (Plus I have a very new baby who spends a lot of time nursing, thus, I spend a lot of time reading.) I LOVE your writing!
Even though I haven’t read an actual book since I got my Kindle, I’ve been waiting with bated breath to read Half Baked so I went old school and ordered it. Amazing. I loved it and read it in 2 days – quite a feat with a 5-month old at home! I found it to be an incredibly moving, funny, self-reflective, and powerful story of what you, Scott, Simone, and Ames endured. As an avid reader of your blog, I knew much of the story but still found it incredibly compelling.
As the mother of a NICU graduate (not a preemie but born with a severe congenital heart defect requiring open heart followed by other complications), I recognized so much of the NICU journey. The emotions of that time defy description yet you managed to do just that in a way that every parent – regardless of their child’s health – can understand and relate. Congratulations on an incredible book. I hope to catch your book signing in Chicago in a few weeks.
Just got the book. I’m on Chapter 8 and I love it! I will review on Amazon as soon as I finish, which will be very soon. Wish I could be at one of your book signings. Would be fab to meet you and get my book autographed!
I just bought your book. Not on Amazon, because the shipping kills me, but at the Book Depository. Now I’ve just got to wait for it to fly itself to Australia. I shall report back.
(And honestly, I read your blog through the entire pregancy/loss/birth/NICU stay – I think I’m gonna love the book no matter what. )
I was hoping you would post something of this nature, so that I could comment on your book without feeling like a stalker.
I loved reading your book. It is so sharp, funny, and touching. As I read it, I cried and laughed out loud (not at the same time). I enjoyed many of the details (especially your conversations with the parking attendant and the lines you whispered to Simone in the nicu). I really lost it when you removed the oxygen. Dang!
Our experience was somewhat similar, except I had yellow paper roses on my door instead of a grief leaf, I had no bathroom privileges while on hospital bedrest, and my nicu experience was limited to 2 days since my boys didn’t survive. Surely, there are more differences, but reading your account really took me back.
I liked it so much, that I would probably be too shy to have my copy signed!
I just read the reviews on amazon.com and it made me teary with pride for you. I fully get that in many ways this book is your baby, too.
Looking forward very much to reading it (hopefully this weekend) and being able to share it with others via the wonderful on-line social media outlets available and being able to say, “I knew her when…”.
Congrats, many, many times over, Alexa!
YAY!!!!
Received your book last week and I WAS planning to save it for the week after my son (sob) goes off to college. Then I thought I’d just read the prologue. . . I managed polished it off right around 3 a.m.
It was incredible and I am very sorry that I didn’t parcel it out a little more. I now count you among my favorite authors!
I got your book on Friday and finished by Sunday. What? So the three year old watched a lot of tv last weekend.
Book was fantastic. I’m not a writer and am embarrassed that it’s the best I can come up with. Really fantastic.
I’ll be at your book signing in Seattle (buying a second book so you can sign it), drooling and trying to not look too stalker-ish.
Just ordered my copy, too! Can’t wait to read it! =)
I saw someone reading your book the other day! (And enjoying it. Just so you know.) And so I said “Hey, an imaginary friend of mine wrote that book!”
Then of course I had to explain that I use the term “imaginary friend” to mean “person whose blog I read, so I know tons about their life, but they don’t know me from eve” and not “ha ha I am a dangerously paranoid schizophrenic who thinks that the New York Times is cooking Wall Street to send me coded messages in the stock exchanges!”
I think she believed me. . . at any rate, she liked the book.
You are also officially on Goodreads! Your book is now at the top of my virtual “To Read” pile! I’m holding out for the 10th so I can pick it up locally.
Harry also comes by several of his sensory peculiarities honestly!
I have just checked Amazon.co.uk. Despatch date 31st Aug, ETA on my front doormat 3rd – 7th September. :-( I could SWIM to BlogHer and get a copy quicker! A SIGNED copy!
Have much BlogHer envy, btw. As long as it stays an August gig, I haven’t a hope of going to the ball, no matter how many bewitched pumpkins are made available. Damn farm.
LOVED the book! Couldn’t put it down. =)
I got it so early that I wasn’t expecting it and I’m not really sure how long it sat in the rain in an unbagged box. I was so worried until the box disintegrated in my hands to reveal the shrink-wrapped book beneath. Ahh, the relief. All is well, for now…
I’m on chapter twenty-something and am riveted and amused and will write a more thoughtful commentary when I’m finished. But I did not know, and connot believe, that you didn’t finish college. Maybe that’s a snobby thing to say but, well, your vocabulary and…well, all of it…I’m having to readust the speech I give to my son almost daily about why it is important to save money for college.
I got home from work and had your book waiting at my doorstep. I cannot wait to read it.
When I went on Amazon just now to order your book, one of the items in the “Customers who viewed this item also viewed” was a “Fancy Gold Lame Adult Bib.” Well, it’s very reasonably priced at $14.95. So there’s that. :)
Can’t wait to read your book! Have an awesome time at BlogHer!
I am so proud of you! I will call my indie bookstore right now and request it if they don’t have it in. Best of luck with the social engagements!
I am so happy for you, congratulations! I just ordered the book from Amazon and noted that other Half-Baked purchasers searched for the Fancy Gold Lame Adult Bib:
* Elegant look for dressy occasions!
* Whisper lightweight
* Sized to fit most adults
* Protect your finery!
I feel like I’m missing out on some cool secret club, are we supposed to buy the bib (it also comes in a kicky silver!) and wear it while reading the book? If so, I’m IN sister!
Mine arrived while I was away. Started reading it last night, and I am loving it. I am also realizing that when I read a blog, without being conscious of it, I assume that what is written on the blog is the full experience — which is of course silly. So, even though I am a reader of more than 2 years, the book is still surprising me!
This post touches on the one thing that completely floored me in the book – the fact that you are a stranger talker. How? I share so many of your anxieties, and am just flabbergasted that someone else who can’t make phone calls without palpitations can just, you know, TALK to strangers. I am impressed. Book was so much better than I knew when I posted while on page 12. I laughed WHILE crying, and just loved it. Going to figure out how to review on Amazon now – it would be eversohelpful if you could post a link to make it easy on us, help the lazy ones (me!) get over there quickly….
Damn it, one of these years I’m going to get to BlogHer — if only to see you again, darling. What has it been, 4 years? That is ridiculous.
I bought your book – last night! At Barnes and Noble – in Houston! Isn’t that amazing?!?! I was so excited – I felt like I was seeing a friend’s book in the store. I’ve read your blog for Awhile now and I love it. I’m so proud of you. Enjoy your tour and I hope the book is a huge success! Can’t wait to read it – I like knowing that it has a happy ending. ;-)
Y’all, I am responsible for that bib.
True story:
http://twitter.com/finslippy/status/19306095288
http://twitter.com/alittlepregnant/status/19306288923
…I’m so, uh, proud.
Along with the gold lame bib, I was also informed that people who purchased your book like the Cheech Pink Tutu Adult Halloween Costume (Standard). I hope you are going to buy both of these items and model them for us.
Sorry that I haven’t commented yet regarding your book or finished writing the KICK ASS review up on Amazon. I’ve been too busy writhing around gleefully with my own copy. [insert visual here of a crazed puppy doing that back-scratching thing in the middle of a field of happy flowers]
Hand-to-God, I am almost done reading it for the 2nd time already. Woot! It’s everything I wanted and more. I *always* finish reading your blog posts and think, “that’s it? i need more! more alexa! more simone! more funny! more wit! more!!” and now I have it. Your book is like a nice, long, wonderful series of blog posts. And dammit, that makes me happier than a pig in slop.
I wish I was at BlogHer to get you to sign it. Grrrrr. And you haven’t seen fit to add any city within 100 miles of me to your book tour. So I suppose at some point I’ll need to [gasp] give up my precious book and mail it to you for personalization. But not yet. I’m not ready. Plus, you’re not even home anyway. :-)
Not at BlogHer or even in a state that is holding a signing, so I will miss meeting you in person, but I look forward to reading your book! Will be ordering it by the end of the month (when I get my birthday money from the family! Things are a little tight right now…) Have fun at the conference.
Loved the book. Last week (I’m sure you know) it was ranked thirty-eight thousand something, and today it’s in the three-thosands. Very impressive. Won’t be surprised at all to see it in the top 100 next week
I can’t figure out how to do an Amazon review without my whole name & e-mail address showing up but I just wanted to say that the douchebag who said your book is narcissistic needs to look up the word “memoirs” in a dictionary. Seriously???
I pre-ordered from Powell’s and I just got a notice that the book shipped today. I can not wait to read it!
I’m starting to prepare for your reading in Seattle. Already thinking of seat saving strategies!
Just finished it. I am now feeling rather gluttonous, having gobbled down every word over two evenings and a morning, and already in search of more. But, no new posting since I last checked.
In case it wasn’t obvious — I loved it.
Congratulations! I am excited to read your book and wanted to thank you for your blog. My daughter was born in April and I had a similar experience. I was pregnant with twins after 4 years of infertility and we lost our son at 17 weeks. I came across your blog and it has been a huge help to me as I deal with the loss of our son and am at the same time overjoyed by the birth of our daughter. You are an excellent writer and I can’t wait to read your book.
I will be purchasing a copy of your book at the book signing in St. Paul on Wednesday. Can’t wait to read it!
Your book was reviewed in one of our local papers today! A lovely review, by a “correspondent”. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to make your reading at Prairie Lights tomorrow, and the review is not online. So…I’m happy to send you a hard copy, if you would like one? If that’s not too stalker-y or weird? Just email me if you’d like me to send it. I promise I’m a fine, upstanding citizen, and I’ll even email you my real name if you’d like to Google me. ;)
And, oooooh! Look! http://www.prairielights.com/live
There you are!
Oh, Alexa, I finished your book yesterday and it was beautiful. Really. You are VERY talented. I knew that already from reading your blog for many years, but your book is a triumph. Your line about trying to “worry yourself into control of a situation” (not an exact quote, but I daresay you know which one I mean) pierced me like an arrow…that is something I too have always done and never knew why I did it until I saw what you had written; you described it perfectly. Your book is very touching and self-aware and honest…I really loved it and have recommended it to all my friends. Many congratulations, and I truly look forward to reading your NEXT book, whatever it may be!
Reading right NOW and love it.
I PRE-ORDERED your book. Surely that alone qualifies me for BFF status (or maybe just a badge for my blog…)?!?
Just read about you in Mpls newspaper. I went through a similar situation 11 years ago. I don’t know if I can handle hearing you talk about your experiences, or even read your book. But, I wish you the best and I’m so happy for you and your husband that you have your daughter!! God bless you all! :o)
I’m “de-lurking” because I saw you and Simone splashed across the front page of the local Variety section (yay for you!) and felt so proud, as though I knew you in real life. I’ve been following your blog for a couple of years now — you are an amazing writer, with an inspiring story to tell, and a great sense of humor to boot! All the best to you and your family.
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