I know. I know. I thought about not posting at all, because Simone is sick, I am back on Zofran, and the best I can do today is, once again, awfully close to a blank page.
However, I am trying not to be too hard on myself about my lackluster foray into National Blog Posting Month. I am making new ears and a placenta and a heart that BEATS, you know. More to the point (and my current need for distraction aside), the hope of quashing perfectionism is one of the more compelling reasons to attempt something like this 30-days-of-posting rigamarole. When the month is over, I’d like to keep writing here most weekdays–every weekday, if I can swing it—and that’s never going to work if I get derailed by the same all-or-nothing mindset that has proven so destructive in the past. There will be days when I plan to post and don’t, or when I start writing something and can’t finish it, or when I want to share a few paragraphs of drivel without worrying that they don’t merit an entry. If I want this site to be what it used to—my diary, the precious real estate where I think and chatter and worry and confide in my friends—I’m going to have to get comfortable pressing that “Publish” button again.
So, since I have nothing for you, please go read this marvelous, marvelous post by Arwen. It’s about perfection and expectations and the dim lens through which we view our own accomplishments. I could have written it myself, and I’d imagine at least a few of you out there will relate to it as strongly.
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Just the fact that you posted SOMETHING puts me at ease (for a minute) about your health. So, chatter away, so we know you’re ok. (I really didn’t mean to sound like Seuss.)
Sorry about Simone, but thanks for posting. It’s a treat to have you posting so often.
Nobody can do more than their best on any one day. So, if your best for that day is (possibly) making it to the shower, nurturing (or at least feeding) your family, and not losing your shit because the world didn’t run according to the plan in Ms Perfection’s head, then that’s good enough. Just believe me that the world will not come to an end because you ‘failed’ to complete whatever tasks you set yourself that day!
Amanda is right, just a few lines to let us know all is well will suffice – we will treasure the longer posts all the more as and when they appear ;-)
I lived on Zofran for my two hyperemesis pregnancies and it was a miracle drug. I could actually go hours without throwing up (miracle!) and it prepared me for the rigors of vaginal delivery due to the, um, intense pushing one had to do thanks to Zofran’s incredibly constipating properties. I hope Zofran helps you and you are putting fiber powder in everything you manage to keep down. I am ecstatic for you and amazed that you are able to put together coherent sentences when dealing with horrible morning sickness. There was one point in the beginning of my second pregnancy where the hyperemesis was so bad I had trouble following the plot of the movie “Wedding Crashers.” Now I can’t watch it because it reminds me of those dark, awful days. I don’t think I am missing much.
Write when and what you can. We’ll be here!
“I am making new ears and a placenta and a heart that BEATS, you know.” Heehee – this made me laugh. But it’s also TRUE and, while I LOVE the daily posting from you, I doubt very much that anyone would fault you for missing a day or three. Thank you for linking to Arwen’s post – it was beautiful and resonated with me so deeply.
As my husband often says, “the perfect is the enemy of the good.” It’s good to hear from you on a regular basis.
WOW! I just read about your pregnancy – Congratulations! I first fell in love with your blog when Simone was in the NICU. I was pregnant with my son Riley and we had very similar due dates. Riley was conceived naturally after two years of trying. Now you have conceived naturally and I am embarking on my first IVF cycle – I just started Lupron yesterday. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you how happy I am for you!