Long before I’d begun thinking about children, I knew pregnancy would be rough on me in one specific way. Hormones and my stomach do not play well together. I had birth-control-induced hyperemesis twice. The first time, when I was about 14, my already spindly 93-pound frame was whittled to skeletal proportions—I believe I got down to 79 pounds—and the second time, some years later, I ended up hospitalized for three days due to dehydration. My first pregnancy with Scott was discovered before my period was even due to arrive, because I threw up, and I had a hard time functioning until about a week before I miscarried, when I felt better and knew something was wrong. During my last pregnancy, the nausea started when I was six weeks and change, and by about seven weeks or so, I couldn’t keep anything down at all. I’d already been taking the Unisom and B6 combo, but while that helped with the nausea, it did nothing once the vomiting began. Thus, Zofran. Zofran was a miracle drug for me. I still felt ill, but not terribly so, and I was well enough to go to work, to eat some, and most importantly, to DRINK. On Zofran, I threw up maybe a couple of times a day, sometimes not at all. Yes, I was on the maximum dose, and had to wake myself to take a tablet at 4am (the last dose wearing off functioned as a nausea alarm clock), and I did continue to throw up regularly until I delivered at 25 weeks. Still: Miracle Drug.
This time, I got sicker, sooner. I am already on my strict Zofran/Unisom/B6 schedule, but while the drugs are keeping me from actually puking, I always always feel like I am on the verge, and in general feel leagues worse than I did with Ames and Simone. Imagine the worst hangover you’ve ever had, or the worst motion sickness, a time when you felt like even moving your eyeballs might be too much for your perilous equilibrium. It’s like that.
It makes no sense, because, like I said, the Zofran IS keeping me vomit-free, as long as I am careful not to miss a dose, so it SEEMS like I should feel much BETTER than last time, or at the very least the same, right? Alas, no. (Last time I was on prednisone up until 17 weeks, so I suspect that has something to do with it.)
I haven’t been able to do much of anything. Most of the day I am curled on the couch, focusing all of my energy on Not Puking. I usually have a small window in the early afternoon when I am well-ish—I can read email, talk on the phone, take a shower, and act human. I try to get some food and liquids in me then. Today, though, I didn’t even get my window. I don’t think I am getting enough to drink, and I’ve lost a few pounds. The Zofran side effects have been awful (still working out the best Colace timing/dosage). I can only care for Simone if you broaden the definition of “care for” significantly, and forget work or cleaning around the apartment. Scott has been great, but I fret about the burden on him.
Wednesday marks seven weeks, and it terrifies me to know that this is where I am, even maxed out on my meds, and that it is likely to get much worse before it gets better. I feel guilty that I’m not enjoying this more. I’m afraid that I’m going to go in and find out that the heart has stopped, and that I won’t have it in me to try again. I want this to work so badly, and I know—I KNOW—how lucky, how extraordinarily lucky, I am to have gotten pregnant at all. I am counting the days until the second trimester, and feeling simultaneously scared that I won’t make it that far at all and scared that if I do, this sickness won’t end there, but instead will continue the whole way through, which seems unbearable to contemplate. I worry about taking all these drugs, and I’m angry that I have to, that I can’t be one of those serene natural pregnant women who blithely swallows a prenatal vitamin and CERTAINLY doesn’t have daily injections, suppositories, and seven different pill varieties on rotation. Pregnancy after infertility and loss is complicated enough, and this adds another layer of worry and guilt, and feeling ungrateful and broken.
So that is where I am. Yesterday I fell asleep before I could post anything, and this took me all day to type, so I can’t even promise that was a one-time lapse. Right now, “one day at a time” is the best I can do. It’s good enough. Today, I have no reason to think that this pregnancy is doomed. I have no reason to think that I won’t feel somewhat better at 12ish weeks, if I make it that far.
Simone has recently noticed the sun, or rather the lack of it in the evening, and I have to reassure her daily that it will come back up again, that it always does. I ought to listen to myself once in awhile.
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Aww, look! You’re glowing!
That special knowing glow of the pregnant woman with hyperemesis and soul-killing constipation.
I’m sorry you feel so pukey, and I fervently hope that nobody in your neighborhood feels the need to cook smelly food.
One day at a time, that’s all you need to do. Just one day at a time. Stop beating yourself up, you are doing the best you can. I’m sure many of us out here in the ether would willingly take turns to help you but sadly distance precludes that for most of us, so instead we cheer you on from the sidelines and hope.
That sounds brutal and I’m so sorry you are having to deal with it. Sending warm non-nauseous thoughts your way.
If there is one thing that is OK to complain about it is that soul-sucking nausea of pregnancy. I didn’t have hyperemesis as I only usually vomited once or twice per day and could eat/drink enough during the good “windows” to maintain or gain weight, but gah that is absolutely the worst part of pregnancy in my opinion. I remember telling my husband that nausea became an emotion – my only emotion. When someone would ask how I was feeling I would simply reply “nauseous”. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t sad, I just lived on the perpetual edge of a sea of vomit.
And I remember just being annoyed at damned near everyone; my mother who would make unhelpful comments such as, “I never felt sick at all during my pregnancies. I wonder why you do?” and others who would ask “Have you tried saltines/ginger/acupuncture/sacrificing a chicken on your doorstep?”
This will not last forever. It just feels like it. My sympathies.
this is not something that you can control. you do not know your future. this will pass. you are not terrible. it’s going to be ok.
A fellow apostle of Zofran here, and just wanted to say: mineral oil. PO. Works much better (and nicer, for the delicate among us) than colace/senna. Titrate to effect.
And yeah, I did a hella lot of complaining too. It’s fair – just because things *could* be worse, doesn’t mean they’re not hard, right? We’re with you. Keep on keeping on.
One day at a time and you’ll get through it.
My theory is ‘the sicker, the better’. That means the hormones are strong, and doing their job; keeping your parasite alive. It’s a small sacrifice for the end result. Hang in there.
One day at a time.
You will get through this.
It helped me to have a big calendar and actually “X” off the days every day. It allowed me to celebrate the passage of time and to celebrate having survived those days.
Thinking of you.
Carrie
Blurgh. Thinking of you and hoping it passes, quickly. I had bad nausea with my first pregnancy. There’s really nothing fun to reminisce about. I vomited into a lot of trash cans in the greater Kansas City metro area. Blurgh.
Puking sucks. Feeling like you are going to puke sucks. Vertigo sucks, as does dehydration. I’m so sorry.
Do whatever you’ve got to do… eat whatever might possibly work even if it’s something wretched like possum entrails (okay, that probably made you throw up, sorry). Suck on ginger lollipops, gnaw on a raw ginger root, lick the sweaty socks of a redhead named Ginger. Go to the hospital and get IV fluids, mainline Gatorade, or daintily sip the new re-hydration wunderkid that supposedly Coconut Water is. Try anything and everything. Although I never necessarily found what worked for me (other than mild success with a steady diet of Zofran, apple juice and egg noodles), the sport of chasing the Holy Grail of Not Puking distracted me at least a little. Of course, in the end, I had a wheelbarrow full of partially consumed oddities that would have sent the CSI home inspection unit into a tailspin. But I simply had to try something. Anything.
I distinctly remember being sort of giddy when I was hung over the toilet bowl in the early stages of my 4th and final pregnancy (all nausea added up across the pregnancies, it was nearly 50 non-consecutive weeks of vomit with only 2 children to show for it, albiet worth it in the end). I was thinking, “Oh good, hopefully this means I’m still pregnant. And oh yeah, Everything Is Fine. A small price to pay.” That giddiness quickly faded once I realized I couldn’t function, go to work, take care of my 3 year old daughter or even manage a mild pretense of acting like a human being. I was a puking, burping, sweaty, limp, whining machine. People probably should have made me pay them to continue to be around me, except that they all felt too bad about us blowing every dime we had on fertility treatments.
Complain here all that you want. It is your right to express unhappiness on your own blog in front of your throngs of adoring fans. If anyone says as much as one word to the contrary, they’ll have your entire posse to deal with. (Is it wrong that I snickered as I typed posse? I am so crude.)
Hang in there. It will be rough, no doubt. But I’ll say a little prayer and do a little dance and all other manner of things that I can think of that you get some relief soon.
ohhh, poor you! So sorry that it’s so awful. It’s okay to not be more externally happy; we all know that internally you’re ecstatic.
I had mild, repeat, mild, morning sickness from 5 to 22 weeks with both my pregnancies and both times I ended up on anti-depressants because of it. Not sick enough for Zofran but hey, here’s some Zoloft instead!
So you have my uttermost heartfelt sympathy and definitely permission to call it as the pit of suckiness that it is. And I hope it eases for you soon.
Oh, I know your pain! And you have all my sympathies. Pregnancy can really suck ass.
I am so, so sorry. I had hyperemisis with my first (same thing- started puking before even missing my period), and it was hell. And- good times- Zofran doesn’t actually work for me. It did nothing. I went on something called Anzemet, which did work.
I drew a little diagram during this time (post-meds, etc., obviously before that I did nothing- NOTHING- but throw up), giving different states of being- happy, benign, etc., and this state was PIT OF HELL. It is truly awful and I sympathize immensely. I hope it passes quickly.
I am so sorry that you are feeling so ill. Please feel free to complain on here as often as you need to. I think we all know how thankful you are for this pregnancy, but it still sucks that you are feeling so lousy. I am rooting with all I have for you and the little bean. Sending warm thoughts your way.
What is it with us, that we think not being able to build families like every other human being (except, of course, the others who can’t) means that we have to be grateful for every moment, even the ones that make us suffer? Like the suffering beforehand, or the great weight of longing, should make us somehow immune to being merely human?
I have an adopted daughter who did not speak a civil word to me for four years, and the worst person of all through it? The jerk who lived in my own head telling me “But you longed for a child!”
Yeah shut up, voice in my head.
Please whine. We are here to cluck our tongues in horror right along with you.
Over here is Germany some midwives are practising acupucture meanwhile. Maybe that would help.
Also, I read this morning that in cultures where people eat vegetarian food the nausea is almost unknown (don’t know whether this is true) because the body naturally rejects food (meat) with possibly more germs on it.
I think it’s already a great acheivement that you managed to get this post out at all! Am here hoping that you feel progressively better and that by the magical 12 week mark you are nausea/meds free!
Ugh. During first trimester, nausea meant I needed to eat. It was terrible, the nausea as I sign of hunger, but as long as I had something in me, I felt better. Not great, mind you, but not as awful. I still lost a few pounds. It was a lot better by 14 weeks, though I had food aversions that lasted the whole time.
Oh, and, I am simultaneously so sad you feel so crappy and so glad for your pregnancy.
lol SarahB,
I am not (nor have ever been) pregnant and yet I still get nauseous from hunger in the morning. Usually when I have eaten a larger meal just before going to bed, but sometimes randomly. I will wake up so nauseous that I can barely keep myself standing in the shower. A couple of crackers and I am fine. Gee wouldn’t pregancy be fun if it ever happens? When I have been in relationships, this tendency of mine makes me SUPER paranoid that I AM pregnant and experiencing morning sickness. So fun.
Complain away, we understand!
Your post could have been written by me last year. The only thing that got me through was eating. Constantly. If i let my stomach go empty for a minute i could feel the nausea rising. Like you i would wake myself up at 3-4 am writhing and moaning with sickness, in the end i would have a banana by the bed and force a mouthful down and lie completely still, concentrating on not throwing up. After a few minutes i could feel the nausea getting easier and i would go to sleep. I too couldn’t imagine how i was going to get through the whole 9 months feeling this bad, but with the benefit of hindsight, every day got better. Either because each day i was becoming more experienced with dealing with it, or later as the sickness eased off. My only advice is to take one day at a time and keep your eye on the prize at the end. Easier said then done i know!
I had the one of the worst hangovers of my life last weekend, and nausea is THE WORST. Give me blinding pain any day at all. Sending much sympathy.
Please talk to your OB about the Zofran pump. I had that during my second pregnancy and it was so much better. The pump is one injection of a catheter in your leg each night and you get a constant stream of Zofran so you don’t have the Zofran wane as you get closer to your next dose. The difference between my first and second pregnancies was obvious and I know it was due to the pump. I also completely understand how you feel about the desire to have a normal pregnancy. I actually went to therapy for my PTSD and for the fact that I would be driven to angry tears by the sight of a normal pregnant woman. I lost almost 4 months out of my oldest son’s second year of life because of Zofran, Phenergan and having my head in a toilet that I will never get that back and it makes me so mad. I had to make the choice to stop at two children because my body couldn’t handle a third hyperemesis pregnancy and I still don’t know if I am over it yet. I recently had three of my cousins become pregnant within months of each other and I wept bitterly with each announcement. I know everything happens for a reason and blah-blah-blah, but I still yearn for what should have been.
I don’t want to sound trite, but hang in there! Also, see if punching someone who tells you to eat small frequent meals or try saltines and crackers helps. Finally, this website gave me a lot of support http://www.helpher.org. I can’t go back there now to help others because it is a trigger for me but give it a try.
Have you ever tried eating a gluten-free diet? I can’t guarantee this would help you, but there are a couple of red flags blowing in my mind when I think about your story. My son has celiac disease, and I’m sure I read somewhere about a link with infertility… Check it out? Hope you feel better sooner. There are plenty of other hurdles for you to have to deal with!
I am so sorry you are so sick. I hope that by 12 weeks you start feeling better. I remember feeling horrible all day and just laying on the couch, praying for teh Zofran to work. The boys watch a lot of TV during those weeks.
I was pregnant last year and was also sick like this. I don’t have anything to say now about it except yes, it did pass. And it was the worst thing ever. I was better by about 14 weeks. No promises for you, but I hope so. Good luck.
I’m embarrassed to confess that I was one of the blissful pregnant women who had two easy breezy pregnancies and took them for granted until I watched my sister-in-law struggle with the same exact issues as you. We were all so happy that she found Zofran that we wanted her to use it as the baby’s middle name. She and my brother have two healthy, rambunctious kids. Eye on the prize. Deep breaths. And the occasional ginger lollipop when you can stand it. *hugs*
I feel for ya, 100%. I had to take Zofran during my second pregnancy. It worked, but not so good. I was still sick most of the time. I agree with one of the other comments, eat whatever CRAZY, GROSS food pops in your head. My poor husband was sent all over the Baltimore metro area retreiving odd things. It seemed if I thought of a Burger King whopper, and got in before the gross idea left my head, I could eat it without vomiting.
I truly hope you feel better very soon!! Feel free to complain, your growing a human, that’s hard work!!
Hope you feel better SO SOON! Hang in there, we are all rooting for you :)
Just because a pregnancy is much wanted doesn’t mean that it can’t also suck for you. One day at a time and go easy on yourself. You are builiding a human and that is hard work.
I am so, so sorry! As a fellow hyperemesis sufferer (I think I’ve puked in every bush in the metro area – good times), I second Laura’s suggestion for the Zofran pump. If that isn’t an option, I found that taking reglan with my zofran helped – reglan promotes stomach emptying and general motility, and kept me from throwing up due to the feeling of fullness zofran gave me.
The Hyperemesis Education & Research Foudnation’s website http://www.helpher.org/ is full of good info and the forums can be a good source of support – if only to have someone comiserate with over being “crackered.”
I am sending you the kind of hug where the hugger doesn’t smell of anything vomit inducing and the huggee is only pleased by the hug and not in any was disgusted.
I vomit from the moment of conception, and I recognize and validate your pain and discomfort, and as a minister of the Universal Life Church (it is true, I am such a minister and have been for years so I could officiate friends’ weddings – my credentials are solid!) I hereby absolve you of all guilt for all things you cannot do well or even at all while you go through this phase of the pregnancy. I too vomit and lose weight and then do feel better but vomit to the end although not at your level – thank all that is holy for that small victory – and the only remedy I can add to the other readers’ suggestions is to shred fresh ginger into Sprite or something like it and sip slowly. I got the remedy from boat bartenders in Hawaii when I was pregnantly vomiting my way through a snorkeling trip on my honeymoon. I can’t say it will change your life like Oxy-Clean or Ginzu knives but it does mean fluid, calories, and an easing of discomfort. I disagree with your reader’s comment to lick the socks of a redhead named Ginger, though, because I have red hair (dyed to match my daughter’s, really, but it is red) and my internet and porn name is Ginger – I can tell you that my socks will not likely make a person in your condition better. Stick to food based gingers, in my opinion, for better results with all emesis based problems – hyper or just wrongful.
Did I mention that I both validate your inability to function, your need for help from everyone around you?
Oh, how I feel for you. I think pregnancy sickness, especially when you have another child, is a special kind of hell. I am going through it now too, although not nearly as bad as you. I don’t know if you have tried it, but Phenergan actually helps with my nausea. I know that it is more important that you aren’t actually throwing up, so the Zofran can’t be stopped, but maybe you can take this too? I tried both and this is working better for my straight nausea (i don’t actually throw up that often, thankfully).
I also find it hard to go on when I am in this situation (3rd time!). It actually seriously depresses me, i have a hard time seeing the end and it is all consuming. I don’t think anyone who hasn’t experienced it (men) can really appreciate the helplessness that we feel.
Anyway, I sincerely hope that you find a combination of meds that helps even a little. I am able to function during the day as long as I am seriously eating every second of the day, but the evenings have been particularly hard. My poor husband is left doing 99% of the work for the 2 kids, but i am really trying hard to not feel too terribly guilty about that…it is a short term solution, right?
if there’s one thing postpartum depression, pregnancy depression, and a host of other bullshit drama surrounding the arrivals of my three children has taught me, it’s this: how you feel about being pregnant has nothing to do with how you will feel about your child. my body did pregnancy quite well, for the most part (at least until that last one…), but my brain did not, and my brain continues to give me no end of shit about motherhood as well. but for all the complaining and the teeth-gnashing and the endless sobbing and second-guessing of every blessed decision i ever make, the fact remains that i love my children more than my life, more than anything else, and hopefully they have a pretty good sense of that. as does simone with you. i feel your anxiety; i took paxil the entire course of my 2nd pregnancy, and now i get treated regularly to those class-action lawsuit commercials recruiting women whose babies are deformed because of the stuff. we all take our chances, and sometimes we don’t even know it until much later. i’m sorry you’re so sick, and i hope it passes soon–it could, there’s no proof that it won’t–just try to remember that you can hate what’s going on in your body without hating the reason it’s happening. that doesn’t make you ungrateful.
This is simultaneously beautiful and heartbreaking. You want so badly to be pregnant AND be a good mom to Simone all the while enduring unimaginable sickness. THIS is why you have so many fans! I was sick with my second pregnancy (not to your caliber, just within the normal realms of sickness) and can remember running to the bathroom thinking, “This means I have lots of hormones, right?”
I have pretty much the opposite problem from you and my kids had to be evicted as I showed no signs of going into labor. I wish you all the pleasure of hauling around a plump 39 or 40 weeker.
On a different note, there is a post written when Simone was just talking and she occasionally called you “Al-yeh-xa!” (or something like that). My internal dialogue refers to checking your blog as checking on Al-yeh-xa!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I got severe hyperemesis with my daughter and son and I went weeks without feeling human, more like a miserable glob of human-resembling goo. I’ve gone through three miscarriages which I know are coming when I don’t get severely sick at the 5 week mark, so it’s this wild vacillation between praying for the puke to come and then being so miserable yet not being able to even wish it away for fear of what it might mean. All this to say, i know. It sucks. And feel better soon :).
It’s okay to complain. It’s totally not fair.
So sorry you’re feeling so lousy. Glad you know about Colace, which is the only way I could deal with the side effects of Zofran. I hope that your body will adjust to this pregnancy so that you will be feeling better soon.
I hear ya with the hyperemesis stuff. The only thing that helped me was to get the Zofran on a sub-cu pump, so that I was getting the drug evenly 24 hours a day (as opposed to the ups and downs of swallowing a pill, waiting for it to get through the system and then easing off).
Also, Miralax. It’s a miracle drug. I took 1 dose of Miralax in the AM and 3 Colace tablets at night. It’s ok to take both drugs as they operate differently (one makes you go, one softens what’s going).
Yuck, yuck, and yuck. Anyone who’s been there knows exactly what you are experiencing–misery, fear (will it ever end?, is it harming the baby?), despair (I am going to die of nausea and leave my child motherless). That nausea is what convinced me that two live births are enough for me. My son (8 now) does not remember the 16 weeks of neglect he endured at age 3 3/4 when I was newly pregnant with his sister (and popping Zofran like a mad woman), nor does he remember that I was so nasueous that I wanted to die. He watched a lot of Curious George and remembers visiting me in the hospital when she was born. It won’t always be like this. Give yourself a break and get through it however you can.
I’m so sorry that this is being so rough on you. I totally feel you on the pills and injections and the being so grateful yet resenting that the circumstances are so UNFUCKINGFAIR and wanting to be the prenatal-only woman and not be so freaking afraid all the time. I still wish I could take some of your nausea – I feel guilty that I’m not sicker and worried about what that might mean, even though I just saw the heartbeat again yesterday and the RE is totally kid-gloving me with once a week scans. We know we’re lucky, yet that doomed feeling is never far off – I know. Hugs and calming-tummy-and-mind vibes to you!
Oh, honey, I am so sorry. I am another one of those annoying women who never had nausea with pregnancy. Even twin pregnancy! But I have had so many friends and co-workers who suffered so much, and it is so unfair. Know that I am praying for you and your family, and I am praying that you feel good soon.
Oh you poor thing! I too have a mutinous stomach that is easily offended by stress, car rides, plane rides, vitamins, large bodies of water, mild hormone fluctuations, moderately offensive odors, to name a few. I often describe the first 5 months of my pregnancy as the worst hangover I’d ever had. And I have had some epic hangovers, let me tell you! I remember thinking that this pregnancy better stick, because I was never going to do this again (yet here I am forking over thousands of dollars for the chance to do just that – Oh the irony!) And by the way, if I am lucky enough to get pregnant I will be complaining… a lot! To anyone that will listen. Because feeling that horrible for that long sucks balls! I too only threw up a few times a day, but for the rest of the time I felt like I might actually die. And that was before I had a toddler to care for. Back then I only had to make it to work where I could hide in my office all day with the trash can between my knees. So what I’m saying is, it is possible and perfectly acceptable to be eternally grateful and unbelievably miserable at the very same time. We are complex creatures after all.
My IVF acupuncturist swears that acupuncture can relieve nausea . I’m not sure I believe her (probably as effective as those bracelet thingies) but it wouldn’t hurt to try!
I just posted something similar. While I felt just fine( except paranoia about m/c) in the first trimester the reality of pregnancy with a toddler is frequently overwhelming. I am a SAHM and there is not really anyone around to help me with the day to day problems since you know, people have jobs and all. My son has been to every prenatal appointment including the two big ultrasounds, and I struggle almost daily with balancing the baby I am baking and my needs with my son’s needs. I feel guilty all the time. All he wants is to run and play and then I get contractions when I do too much. My ob said that is fine as long as they go away. WELL, HOW REASSURING. How do I know if there is some tipping point and I will end up in the hospital? Oh. I don’t. Excellent. So I feel guilty about taking my son for a walk or I feel guilty if I DON’T take him for a walk. I had major constipation and anal fissures( yum!) with Peter and I find two colace before bed has helped me keep ahead of the problem this time. I am so sorry you are ill. It is awful when on top of feeling like you got car-jacked you also feel guilty about feeling that way. I am beyond thankful for this spontaneous pregnancy( I have PCOS and my husband has a pretty dismal sperm count), but the daily reality of being six months pregnant with a 20 month old toddler is very difficult.
All I can offer is what my son’s pediatrician said, “children are resilient”. If Simone spends the next few weeks watching Yo Gabba Gabba or Sesame Street or Keeping Up With the Kardashians, she will still be fine. If she lives on yogurt and goldfish, it will be ok. We have to save our money in case I go on bed rest again because the high risk dr. costs so much. So we are too afraid to put our son in daycare even part time so that I can have a break.
I actually had a talk with my son’s ped. about my concerns because we were shocked to get pregnant and we were having a very difficult time decided what was best for him and us and the baby. And she said, you know there is no best. Simone and Peter will both ride this out and hopefully know the joys and frustrations of having a new baby in their house and a brother or a sister forever. I am thinking of you.
I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I don’t have any tips or suggestions, but wanted to give you some more moral support. Yes, the sun will come back up again! Hang in there.
Dude. There should be medical marijuana that’s safe for pregnant ladies.
Alexa,
My sister-in-law sent me the link to your post because my pregnancies were JUST LIKE YOURS!!! I am very thankful for the help of a company called Matria. They provided me with so much help, and gave suggestions to my physicians that made such a difference. I am sorry to tell you my nausea never went completely away until after I delivered, but the following things made life better for me: I was on a PICC line for fluids and Zofran. And the miracle drug was BENADRYL of all things! We discovered this by mistake when I had a reaction to another anti-nausea drug Reglan.
Feel free to contact me if you want to know more. I TRULY UNDERSTAND because I went through it myself. Hang in there!
Lisa
I think nausea is by far the worst of the commonly-experienced human sensations. And unlike vomiting caused by a regular barf bug, hangover or any other reason, you don’t get any relief by actually vomiting when pregnant. I’m so sorry, and any asshole who implies that you’re not grateful to be pregnant because you are complaining about this misery is exactly that — a giant, farting asshole.
I do hope you get some relief, and soon.
…. and also, do try to give yourself a break on the guilt. Of course this is not enjoyable for you. Of COURSE you’re angry that it’s happening this way. And IF, IF things go badly and you don’t have it in you to try again, you know, that would be pretty damn understandable with everything you’ve endured.
Maybe think of yourself as a dear friend who’s going through this. You’d never blame HER or think she should feel guilty for having these very understandable feelings, would you? Well, see, there it is. Be easy with yourself if you can.
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