On Friday I was writing you an update post, the gist of which was “I’m Feeling Somewhat Better,” when what should interrupt me but a sudden urgent need to stumble to the bathroom and kneel before the toilet.
The next morning, determined to try again, I found my site entirely inaccessible. I’d exceeded my bandwidth (there is still someone out there, hotlinking something, but damned if I can find it). I am back up and running as of this afternoon, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a lightning bolt is about to take out a server, or me, so I’ll post a quick hello while I know I can. Hello! I am alive. More tomorrow, after my appointment. 8w5d, for those keeping track.
P.S. Because I wouldn’t want you to be deceived into unwarranted admiration of my mental fortitude (going so very long without a Live Baby Check), I should tell you that I actually had a quick pity ultrasound last week when I first began to feel like I might not die, after all. Appropriately-sized lump avec heartbeat was present and accounted for, and slight easing of nausea thus attributed to an improved med regimen and IV fluids—an explanation I had previously dismissed, feeling that embryonic demise was far more likely.
Hoping to be happily surprised again in the morning…
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
I am glad you’re back and glad the little kiddo is doing well in there.
Glad baby is alive and the medications are helping you. I’m currently a week behind you with a baby that refuses to make me puke the way my living children did. So I’m afraid that this is yet another dead baby pregnancy for me. But both our babies were alive last week, so that’s something!
I’m glad you got a pity ultrasound. I sometimes wish I could just permanently attach an ultrasound machine to me until July.
Poor you – I know you aren’t looking for sympathy and feel ridiculous taking it, but here it is. I was one of those people who tried for years and years to get pregnant, with no luck while the rest of the world merely sneezed and fell pregnant. They woe’d and swooned and I hated them for it. If it were ME – the One-That-Could-Not-Get-Pregnant – I would wear every ache and pain as a merit badge. I somehow had my miracle pregnancy (never to be repeated again), and while eternally grateful and so focused on being the Best!Pregnant!Woman!Ever!, I practically had a PhD in what to do. Yet I also still remember with jarring clarity, clutching my desk while my head spun, a metallic taste filled my mouth, and my stomach did the roller coaster of doom. Nothing made it better.
“I don’t think I can do this.”
Yep, I thought those words, and if I was capable of conversation I would have told them to anyone that would listen. It didn’t make me any less grateful for my state. It didn’t mean I would change it. It was just overwhelming.
I’m so glad to see you able to post, and will happily wait until you are feeling able to again. Until then, I hope you are figuring out how to turn this into your next book (the third?).
Whew, you are alive! And kicking! And puking! Ack! Sorry about that, but I am happy to hear that your new drugs and IV fluids are helping. I’ll be waiting impatiently for an update on the lump avec heartbeat.
Literally sighed with relief. Glad you’re doing better. And THANK YOU for posting!
loving the avec. so happy for you.
Phew!!! And long exhale, I have been holding my breath for days now and am a fetching shade of blue ;-) Hooray for the little blob complete with heartbeat. Looking forward to the update (soon).
So glad! I was starting to get worried.
I’ve been checking your site daily, and was starting to get a tad bit worried that all was not well. I am so happy to read that the little peanut is still in there, hanging out with a beating heart. Glad to hear you’re feeling a little better, too!
Thank you for posting! Very glad to hear (a) the nausea has eased a small bit and (b) ultrasounds continue to show Good Things.
Whew! Your post has averted the restraining order you may have put on me! I live in the Twin Cities and my friend on the East coast was trying to talk me into showing up on your doorstep with a loaf of pumpkin bread, just to check up on you — an idea we nixed because it made me look like a creeepy stalker and just the sight of food might have sent you running. Happy for you and for baby and hoping your bandwidth cooperates along with your barfy belly!
Glad to hear you’re both still here. Good luck with the appointment today.
I am so glad your other ultrasound went well and I praying that you little one stays where it should.
wonderful! so good to hear from you! Keep updating!
Don’t think of it as a pity ultrasound! Or, do, whatever. Just that you aren’t the only one. My RE’s letting, even encouraging, me to come in weekly (9w5d tomorrow). He admits it can be beneficial to those of us in this awful club to help stay “relatively calm” about the whole thing. I keep thinking I’ll get brave and go a whole two weeks, but it’s so not going to happen. Will look forward to your next update! Hoping with you….
Er – I should have said weekly through 12 weeks. Once I’m graduated from/kicked out of the RE’s care and at the mercy of my OB, I’ll likely be begging for pity ultrasounds as often as possible. But the fact that I can imagine getting that far is astounding to me – I totally understand the fear that comes with feeling a bit better (though I’m glad you are!).
So, so glad everything is going along well (well, except for the horrible nausea). I’m pulling for this baby–can’t wait for more good news.
Yeah for medications!!! I am glad you are feeling occasionally better and the pregnancy is proceding in an orderly fashion. Hoping you are well enough to post more after your appointment because in the least creepy and/or stalkerish way possible, I was getting worried.
Good luck at the ultrasound.
Hello back atcha. I was never nauseated when pregnant (thank goodness); it sounds awful :( I also loved the *avec* – both because “Yay! Heartbeat!” and because I’m a Canadian living in Texas, and I and don’t get to hear much French down here. Made me all nostalgic and stuff. I’m rooting for you.
Glad the bun in the oven is still baking! I can’t imagine having to go through that, but reading your post was good because I was reminded to respect the power of women and childbirth! :D Good luck!
I know what you mean. I was positive one of my twins had died before each appointment and most days in between. Now 17 months old of coughing all night and I still thank God every day and say a little prayer before I open the door in the morning.
I hope you are happily suprised, too! Congratulations!!
Hmmm, I am reading this today, which is two days after the tomorrow you referred to so I am both delighted that things are progressing as they should and hopeful to see an update from yesterday’s appointment soon.
Here’s to all is well.