I Have Forgotten How This Goes.

by Alexa on October 8, 2012

It is suddenly cold and dark. The shift from summer to winter-ish is awfully abrupt here, and it has taken me by surprise, though I suppose it shouldn’t have, as we’ve made it all the way to the middle of October, somehow. Also, my new baby is fat and drooling and growing out of things, and my old baby isn’t a baby anymore at all, and soon they will both be entirely grown up, and THEN WE WILL ALL BE DEAD. To everything, turn, turn, etc.

We’ve all been sick, including Twyla, who took it rather hard. She is a dramatic baby. When Twyla smiles, she opens her whole mouth in a veritable parody of joy. When she is unhappy, she makes horribly sad faces and sort of…warbles mournfully, like a sick pigeon, or the pound dogs howling along to “No Place Like Home” in Lady and The Tramp. But she made it through her first illness, and now, should she ever record an album of Stevie Wonder covers played at half-speed, in an arrangement for cello, bassoon, and seagull, she has the album art all ready to go.

Because it is Simone’s last year before Kindergarten, it is our last year at her preschool, that marvelous, magical idyll dotted liberally with goats (there is a new one named Banjo!) and chickens and llamas oh my. I honestly think I’ll miss it almost as much as she will. (Would it be weird if I stopped by next year from time to time to wander about wistfully, rending my garments and reminding the children HOW FLEETING IS YOUTH! do you think? Probably.)

Anyhow, I am trying to soak it all up before it is over, and have been carefully curating the Last Year of Preschool Memorial Art Collection. Allow me to share two recent works:

The above, as any fool can see, is a portrait of me, in buttons, glue, and crayon on paper. Please note the two circles on either side of my fetching buttoned placket.
(“Those are her NEPPLES,” Simone explained loudly to her teacher, pointing them out to us.)

The next piece I admit to finding a bit baffling:


Simone has confirmed that the three parts of this equation are a llama, wool, and a mitten, respectively, but how does a llama plus wool equal mitten? Wouldn’t a llama MINUS wool get one to knitwear more efficiently? Maybe what I am taking for a plus sign is actually a spinning wheel and the two parallel lines pre-mitten are knitting needles? Is this the New Math?

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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

Swistle October 8, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Favorite parts:

1. “and THEN WE WILL ALL BE DEAD.” That is how so many of my thought processes go.

2. “warbles mournfully, like a sick pigeon”

3. “…Simone explained loudly to her teacher, pointing them out to us.”

4. “Wouldn’t a llama MINUS wool get one to knitwear more efficiently?”


Alexa October 10, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Re: #1: That is how nearly ALL of my thought processes go, especially at this time of year.


Lauren October 8, 2012 at 9:22 pm

More importantly, why does that look like real hair?


Norah October 8, 2012 at 9:27 pm

what she said.


Alexa October 10, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Because IT IS! Real llama hair (wool?) anyway–they have llamas at the school. The llama in question is named Mamacita, in case you were wondering, which you surely were not.


BonnyBard October 11, 2012 at 4:28 pm

wait… did they shave the llama to do the artwork? Is there a partially bald llama wandering wistfully about the preschool halls rendering what is left of his garment (of wool) and reminding the children how fleeting is beauty? Because that would be tragic.


Sarah October 8, 2012 at 9:23 pm

well… this post became an immediate classic for me. genius.


Norah October 8, 2012 at 9:26 pm

YAY! So glad you are back! Also, my ‘baby’ is pushing three and it just hit me yesterday that she is totally not a baby any more. Also, she has a baby (doll) and is a way better mother then me. That’s apropos of nothing, I just was thinking ’bout babies having babies.


Alexa October 10, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Simone is a FAR better mother to her babies than I am to her as well, especially when it comes to meals. She cooks quite a bit more than I do, and they always eat nicely arranged at table, even for breakfast. (On the other hand, one of her babies is often found sleeping in the oven, so I do have the edge there.)


Momma, PhD October 9, 2012 at 9:26 am

I cracked up at the nepples comment.

Last night my 2 yo had a conversation with her aunt. To every/any question she was asked my daughter replied, “[Name of relative] has a [penis/wee wee]” except when she said, “Pop has a penis and a wee wee.”

Good to know.


Sarah R. October 9, 2012 at 9:40 am

This is hilarious. Glad to see you back in this space! (Also, I would like to enroll myself in that preschool, please. It sounds amazing.)


Editdebs October 9, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Oh how I miss you when you don’t blog!

About preschool, I still miss those days–and my son is 17 and filling out applications for college. (Hold me; I can’t handle this!) Yes, time really does fly by. (And we have stopped by preschool a few times since he left to say hi! (Yes, my name is Debbie and I am powerless over the exclamation point.)


Sheila October 9, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Oh, so glad to see you back! Was feeling a bit grumpy this morning, and then I read your latest post — instant cheer! Thanks, and never stop writing…


Sarah October 9, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I just think she meant to make a minus sign instead of a plus. Then it would make, as you point out, perfect sense. Take wool from a llama and you can get a mitten, or, take wool from a llama and the llama needs a mittne.


Cheryl October 10, 2012 at 10:22 am

The “woe is me baby not a baby anymore” caused me to remember a time when I was out with a girlfriend and her 14 month old son. I was baby wrangling on the way out of the restaurant when he pulled my shirt out, looked down it and hollered, “boobs!” His father swears he didn’t teach him that,. That baby is now in school. It’s not even my kid and I miss that baby.


Katie October 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm

It has gotten ALARMINGLY dark SO FAST this past week. I went to the Merriam Park Soccer (of woe!) last night and it was just an exercise it was sports should not be (for parents): dark, windy, cold, with many children who did not want to play and no coach in sight (probably because the parent who got roped into it decided smartly to stay home).


Amy_Rey October 10, 2012 at 2:34 pm

“NEPPLES”? No. No, no, no. My cousin had a CPR course in nursing school, and one of her classmates measured out the location for chest compressions in reference to the “nibbles.”


Alexicographer October 10, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Lovely to see you.

I would *definitely* buy Twyla’s albumn for the cover alone, might not play it, though.


Kirsten October 11, 2012 at 1:45 am

So glad you posted.
On returning to preschool to tell them of the fleeting nature of youth…my little one went back to preschool to visit and was asked to tell the 2 year olds what it was like after leaving. He (all of 7 at the time) said: “Enjoy your time now. Because there is NO time to play with bunnies later. Play with the bunnies now while you have a chance.” I laughed; but also sort of wanted to cry….


Korinthia October 13, 2012 at 9:49 am

Love the button you! And that sad baby face is beyond adorable.


Sharon October 13, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Glad you’re back (at the blog)!
Beautiful new little lady.
Thanks for the giggle over ” nepples” and “lama + wool = mitten!”


Laura in Michigan October 16, 2012 at 7:41 pm

OH, how I missed you!


Shes October 17, 2012 at 7:56 am

So extremely glad to see a post from you! That is all.


Karen Jane October 18, 2012 at 4:27 am

Ha! My son calls nipples “nibbles”. Your girls are adorable.


Kim October 26, 2012 at 7:33 pm

<3 the pic of that strife-filled baby girl. She is precious!

Welcome back! :)


Fran November 6, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Please blog more! We miss you.


Marinka November 21, 2012 at 6:43 am

I am pretty sure that I’ve always worn llma-free mittens. Stupid life.


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