1. About half the number of days because chocolate is approximately twice as good as oil.
Currently, my very favorite things in the whole world to put in my face are Ghiradelli Peppermint-Bark-with-Dark-Chocolate Squares. They are sold seasonally, and so I feel I should eat as many as possible now, while I can, as a show of holiday spirit. To that end, Scott bought me a bag of them this past weekend, and before bed that evening, Simone and I set about consuming it. (Much later I went out to get a drink of water only to hear peals of laughter from my husband as I passed him in the living room, because it turned out I had a Ghiradelli squares wrapper stuck—appropriately enough—to my haunch.)
Anyhow, LAST night Simone asked whether there were any more Candy Cake Chocolates (Simone calls “candy canes” “candy CAKES,” for reasons passing understanding) and, remembering that we had eaten the last of them the night before, I regretfully said there were not. But then! When I picked up the bag to show her that it was empty, there were two squares left! One for each of us! We ate our chocolates with gratitude and went to sleep.
An hour ago I went to throw the bag away, feeling hungry and wistful, and as I was folding it up for the trash, I felt something solid in the bottom.
IT WAS ANOTHER SQUARE.
I swear to you, the bag was empty last night. It was on my nightstand, and it was empty. I would never have left a chocolate unmolested on my nightstand during the snack-y evening hours.
How was this possible? No bag of these things had ever lasted more than one night, two at the most, and here we were on night FOUR. And then I remembered: Chanukah. Of course. It’s a Chanukah miracle!
I have now eaten my chocolate and the bag remains stubbornly devoid of more. Next year I shall light four candles to remember.
Twyla, as I may have mentioned, is an extraordinarily hammy baby. You know the phrase “flat affect?” Twyla has the opposite of that. She has a mountainous affect. She splits her whole face open in these mad, comical smiles—most of which now come with motion, and are thus becoming more difficult to capture on film. The rest of the expressions in her repertoire are just as overblown.
She would have made an excellent silent film star.
And then, sometimes, she is just sweet.
She is such a sweet, loving baby. It breaks my heart a bit, for some reason.
3. Eine Kleine Nacht-Kvetching
I have been getting headaches every day for a while. I have one right now. The last time I got frequent headaches was in my early 20s, but those were migraines—awful, soul-killing migraines. These are just plain old headaches. I am sure I am not drinking enough water, maybe that is the problem? But then I’ve never been good at remembering to drink water, and it didn’t bother me before. Maybe it is hormonal? My hair is falling out, which is apparently normal and definitely hormonal, and possibly my thyroid medicine needs adjusting, as I hear that already-screwy thyroids often become even screwier postpartum. Whatever it is, it is exceedingly irritating. A near-constant low-level headache taxes my already meager resources.
And, on that fascinating note, I shall leave you.