¶ I felt like a Fairytale Witch

The other day I was making this little beef tenderloin roast that Simone adores beyond reason, and I am trying to lose weight, so I was calculating portion sizes. I was squinting at the package, figuring out how many ounces were in the roast based upon its weight in pounds, and all of a sudden I realized it was EXACTLY one pound, ten and three-quarters ounces, and if that number sounds familiar it is because HEY! I was hefting newborn Simone, nicely seasoned with salt and pepper.
It was rather an unsettling train of thought seeing as I was about to surround the thing with onions and put in the oven.
(It was delicious.)

¶ Speaking of…

The losing-weight thing is a pain in the ass, honestly. I lose weight very, very slowly, and my thyroid fights me bitterly for every ounce. But I am sticking with it, and doing it sensibly and sustainably, and feeling much more committed than I ever have before. I think this is because I came out of my pregnancy 20 pounds lighter than I went into it, putting me only about 20 pounds away from my goal weight. Losing 20 pounds sounds doable. And the difference in how I feel at this weight versus 20 pounds heavier is dramatic, like a free preview of what my reward will be when I’m finished. Besides, it seems like it would be a shame to waste all the progress I unwittingly made while gestating Twyla. Theoretically, I could just have one more baby and voila! Goal weight! It’s as simple as nine months of intractable nausea and vomiting!

The second day was the hardest, and that evening I found myself running up and down the hallway of my railroad-style apartment, trying vainly to get my Fitbit to register enough activity to net me, say, a bowl of potato chips. I had no sports bra, and thus was forced to clutch my bosom to keep things from bouncing. I can’t imagine what the people below us thought I was doing, but am gratefully certain they could not guess the reality. The reality being, to reiterate: running up and down my hallway–up and down, back and forth–holding my breasts. For potato chips. There are surely many sins of which I am guilty (gluttony springs to mind), but pride does not seem to be one of them.

¶ I was going to put ONE baby picture in here, but I got carried away.



  1. Jackie says:

    Delurking to finally say that is one unbelievably cute baby. To quote Julie, whom I’ve recently begun reading again – Jesus gay! SO EFFIN CUTE.

  2. melzers says:

    I have been working a year at the weight loss “thing” and was up to 33lbs lost when xmas hit and then went to 29lbs lost and I am struggling to get those 4lbs back off my gut and then get back on track so I feel your pain and I don’t even have a thyroid to blame. 20lbs more would make me feel like a new woman but I’ll still be overweight but at least I’d be out of the dreaded obese category. *sigh* maybe this time next year?

  3. When I lived in apartments, occasionally I would hear interesting movement from the neighbors above. The only pleasure was in imagining what was the occupant was DOING. And now I know! Pacing-whilst-bosom-pinning!

    That baby of yours is just. So very. You know. YOU KNOW.

    (I especially like the look of mild concern on her face as she actually tastes that foot. Possibly not as delectable as she anticipated?)

  4. maggiemoo says:

    You quite obviously NEVER feed that baby, do you? What with all the chunks, and hunks, and rolls! She’s had to resort to self-cannibalism! Seriously, she is so adorable!

  5. Kirsten says:

    Such a cute baby! Crazy. And I am so with you on the slow weight loss and crappy thyroid. I have not one but two thyroid disorders. Have been trying to lose 20 lbs for 3 years….

  6. Susie says:

    Even when I AM wearing a sports bra, I boob clutch when I go down stairs. Or sprint. I mean, I play team sports on the regular, and there I am, out on the field, holding up my (insubstantial!) bosom. What pride? I have none.

  7. I can relate, as a 5’2″ person who has been on a diet since she was in middle school. When I do “the WW” as we call it at my house, I often do crazy things just to “earn” a half glass of wine with dinner.

    Hang in there! The truth is, it’s always worth it.

    PS Twyla is adorable and she has the best name ever.

  8. C says:

    Oh goodness, that baby is adorable!

    I’m still trying to lose the baby weight….from my first child (she’s almost four). When I’m on the wagon I use an online food diary site, and nothing is more demoralizing to look back at your progress and realize you are 13lbs heavier at 22 months post-partum than you were at 2 (I don’t even look to see where I am in terms of first baby). However, I’ve been making good progress of late….I’m almost back to my post partum weight…from child one!

    Good luck!

  9. ottilie says:

    There are so many reasons it would be beneficial to myself and family if I could literally (not just figuratively) put my foot in my mouth like that too. Then again, it would not be pleasant to look at.
    Your baby is precious!

  10. Losh says:

    Thanks for getting carried away – she is a complete poppet of a baby!

    I too, clutch my breasts when moving at any speed faster than an amble if I am bra-less, so that image made me smile.

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